Dec 162014
 

Artemisia de Vine antique queen final kinklogo

 

Welcome to the Temple of Perversion!

Select worthy slaves and submissives are chosen to be trained to serve this voluptuous Goddess in intimate body worship… just how I like it… until I am thoroughly satisfied…

Artemisia de Vine femdom Sydney CK logoI can be sensual and intimate, slutty and degrading, or strict and cruel…

Queening… scented oil bathing ceremony… exquisite mindful touch… and training to truly enter into service body and mind…  To receive the touch I truly desire, I guide you into an aroused, meditative-like place of erotic flow and instruct you in how to pleasure Me.

Depending on my whim and your progress in training, this may include pussy, arse and breast worship.

Artemisia de Vine

Artemisia de Vine

I allow the time to truly peel back the layers of your psyche so you enter into a space of service.  Entering The de Vinery is a timeless experience, a feast of the senses… desires of the flesh, and the secret spirit within… Here is the unfolding of the shadowy, hidden corners of your being…  Here you find freedom in the bliss of submission…

To worship the intimate crevices of the Goddess and drink of Her nectar is de Vine indeed!  To witness her in the throws of ecstasy… Sometimes, slaves are honored with female ejaculation…  Some slaves are honored with golden showers…

For those more advanced, tantric energy exchange techniques can be included in the worship ceremony.

If I am pleased, I may reward you… If not… you may be subjected to My punishments… or My perverse whims… some sessions are sensual and intimate… some are about teaching you your place… or using you for My entertainment…

Artemisia de Vine femdom Sydney logoWe will find where our erotic wiring naturally overlaps and play in those zones. Consent and flavor of session is negotiated in a thorough pre-play consultation.

Sessions vary greatly depending on person to person, mutual agreement, mood, and intention.  Can include: Queening, face sitting, female ejaculation, golden showers, smothering, sensual tantric worship, slave training, energy worship/cycling, role play, punishments, restraint, rewards, orgasm denial, orgasm control , ritual and much more…  See other  BDSM and Mistress sessions available here.

90mins $400

2hrs  $500

2.5hrs $600 *recommended

Apply by calling direct on 0420 415 658
Email: artemisia@consciouskink.com
Website: www.consciouskink.com

Nov 212013
 

Artemisia de Vine antique queen final kinklogoIt has been four years since I became a full-time sexuality professional… a whore.  Wow what an incredible journey it has been!  I have grown so much as a person and as a professional to become the Goddess of Conscious Kink and the Erotic Arts I am today.  I have worked under many names and in many different roles and learned a wide variety of erotic arts from feathers to whips…  following the erotic cookie crumbs on a journey of sweat, flesh, cum and self discovery.

This morning I let my mind drift back in time to a pivotal moment a couple of years before I decided to enter the adult industry.  I now see that it was my initiation into whoredom.  The memory touched me so much I wept.  I want to share it with you.  I want to honor the people who may not realise they played a part in making me who I am.

I’ve always been a sexually curious adventurer.  My friends would say, “Can’t you talk about anything else besides sex?”  I’d be quite baffled at that.  It was my passion and fascination.  It was my thing.  I’ve also always been drawn to look into the “whys” and “hows” of the human psyche.  It became a natural thing for me to want to explore sexuality with awareness.   However it has been a long journey and I started with practically no knowledge and a deep, destructive sense of shame due to my strict upbringing.

My adventures in self discovery led me to try all sorts of outrageous things… BDSM, swinging, group sex, ritual sex, exhibitionism and more.  You name it, I tried it.  I lost count of how many lovers of all genders I’d had well and truly before I turned professional.  Through it all I remained a spiritual being who aimed to have integrity.  Oh I made mistakes aplenty, but my intention was to remain in integrity for my own well-being and for that of my play partners.

One day I flicked through the Melbourne Kink Festival program and saw that there was going to be a women-only night at the local gay sauna and sex-on-site venue.  I’d been there before on mixed nights and it was a beautiful set up.  Gorgeous pool with Grecian pillars and palms… Large spa… Sauna… and a variety of booths upstairs for sexy play time.  There was the porn room… A few group sex rooms… private booths… sex swings… glory hole boxes (where I met a man who was to become my partner for two years when he did such a good job licking my clit… but that’s another story).

The thought of this place filled with naked women exploring together certainly appealed to me.  I have a wide variety of friends and connections to lots of different social scenes.  That day I decided to invite a whole bunch of friends who identified as pagans to some degree or another.  While I do not identify as  pagan as such, there is overlap in my way of thinking and theirs and I have a great love of wild, irreverent, loving, earth-based spirituality folk.  I wondered what would happen if we mixed nudity, the relaxation of skinny dipping and the freedom to be sexual with a bunch of folk who enjoy ritual, spirituality and erotic exploration.

The night started as expected.  A few drinks, relaxing and gossiping in the spa… letting water relax the muscles… feeling it froth and bubble in interesting places…  We swam and romped on big floaty toys in the pool, laughed and let our hair down.

In ones and twos a few folk wandered off to explore the hidden, dark crevices upstairs.  I wasn’t really in that head space yet so decided to check out the sauna.

As I entered it was suddenly very dark.  It took a moment for my eyes to adjust but even then all I could see was clouds of steam and hints of shadowy figures. I guess it was designed to make sex anonymous because I couldn’t see who else was in there.  I was aware of several other figures, the smell of wet cedar, eucalyptus and the distinct aroma of naked female bodies.

A little more easily discernible was a flat concrete slab in the centre of the room with four columns reaching to the ceiling, one on each corner.  To the eyes of pagans this looks very much like an alter.  Without hesitation I plonked myself down right in the centre of it and stretched my legs luxuriously apart, resting one foot on each pillar.

I hadn’t really thought it through.  I wasn’t really aiming for any sexual encounter to be honest.  I just saw the “alter” and that was my natural reaction to it.  I sank down, breathing in the steam and looking up at the tiny blue pin pricks of star-like lights in the ceiling above me.

There was suddenly bright light and a rush of cold air as someone else entered… then another… People were chatting in ways that seemed to me to be breaking the spell of the place.  Ordinary talk had no place here, I thought.  Here is a chance to let go of the normal way of thinking and sink into something else… Something primal and instinctual.

After a while the atmosphere seemed to win over and the chatter stopped.  I could hear breathing and was aware of my own steamy inhales and exhales.  My mind alternated between thinking in every day thoughts and drifting into the erotic dreamscape.

Then out of the silence it began.   A voice began quietly chanting the names of the Goddess as she appears in different cultures across time and space.

“Isis, Astarte, Diana… Hecate,Demeter, Kali, Innana…”  

This is the way of pagans.  A way to enter into that different head space and draw on the archetypal woman across history.

Another voice joined hers… Then another…  Soon I could hear women’s voices chanting from every corner of the room and I was in a sound bath in the center.  I felt goosebumps as their words washed through me.

Gently, a hand touched my ankle, giving me the chance to pull away if I wanted to but I invited it in.  Another hand gently stroked my arm… my forehead… My mind resisted letting go at first but I chose to stay with the experience and let it unfold.

More chanting and humming… more hands stroking my thighs and belly… So sensual and giving in their touch…  No thoughtless grabbing to take from my flesh… No this was an honoring… Their touch energised and aroused me.

The chanting began to naturally build in volume as the women let go of their inhibitions and just went with it.  Naked, free, letting their self expression pour out their throats and through their hands.  Someone began rubbing my feet and other hands massaged my breasts, tickling my nipples…  I felt arms slip around me, holding me so I could let go…  and the large, soft breasts of a woman  I recognised rested against the top of my head… As the others chanted, this remarkable woman, this self-identified red witch, began to whisper in my ear.   Her breath was warm against my lobes…

She played with words pictures and poetry to create impressions… snippets of things long ago… of myth… of legend… of temples to the Goddess where sacred prostitutes were once honored… of times when Goddesses were revered… she whispered of incense… flesh… spirit… of embodied, empowered women… menstrual blood… lovers entwined… erotic  pleasure… dance… the visceral and the ethereal…  Cunt… Whore… Slut… Spirit… Heart… as words of empowerment not degradation…

All the while the hands all around me, too many to count, stroked me all over… Yes they had reached my pussy now.   I was aroused but did not want to cum. It was not the kind of arousal one gets from sexual fantasy.  It was not even genital focused, although there were pleasurable sensations there don’t get me wrong!  This was more like an erotically fuelled, full body, heart and soul experience.  It was awakening all aspects of me with little erotic, electric impulses.  I felt like the bars of a radiator newly turned on, blossoming fiery red heat.

I have no idea how long I lay there and received this spontaneous blessing from my sisters.  It was both a lifetime and but a moment.  We all sensed something significant was happening but I didn’t bother my intellectual mind by trying to work it out.  I just let go… sunk down… opened up… became the moment…

I became aware my mind was thinking all sorts of strange things because it was overloaded… Where I was, wasn’t mind-territory and my mind couldn’t make sense of it.   It started bubbling up all sorts of silly things.  I giggled… then laughed… a great big release inside me… Stopped thinking and just experienced.

At some point the moment ended.  Without anyone leading, the hands began to slip away and the voices began to lower and eventually silence.  I lay there a little longer not knowing what to make of it.  I suddenly felt a little awkward to be honest and didn’t know what to do next.

I don’t remember how I left that situation.  I do remember wandering into a dark room upstairs not long afterwards and having a steamy encounter on a sex swing with a woman I didn’t know.   Off I went on my adventures of sexual self discovery again, this time with my body fully blessed, supported and honored…  Connected to sexual women since the beginning of time…  Connected to the dance of life everywhere.

Looking back now I see that as my initiation.  At least, one of my initiations into the work I currently offer the world.

Even though I rarely offer vaginal penetrative sex anymore in my professional services, I still love the word whore.  To me it draws on all the domintrices and professional kinksters of all stripes as well as  sex workers, erotic body workers, tantrikas, temple dancers, strippers, courtesans, street walkers, spankees, surrogates and all the other sexuality professionals through time.  These women, transfolks and men are my whore ancestors.  Like others call on their blood-line ancestors in times of celebration or hardship, I draw on my whore family.

The beautiful spontaneous moment that happened in the sauna has left its mark deep in my flesh… in my cells… in my atoms…  Although my current professional offerings centre mostly around BDSM, and other forms of kink play as well as conscious sexuality and erotic bodywork,  I have worked as a private escort, brothel worker and much more in the past.   I have experienced first hand what it is like to be reviled… cast out… called the scum of the earth, treated as though I am no longer human and even driven out of town because of my occupation. Mostly by people who are not clients but who are being self righteously whorephobic and consider me a threat just for existing.

Sex workers are my friends and number highly in the ranks of my chosen family.  We are a tight knit group because the every-day prejudice we endure forges battle bonds that run deep.

We give so much.  We are counsellors, pleasure bringers, sex educators, compassionate, affectionate company, slutty playmates that give permission to be fully sexual in a world where there is still shame around such things.

Like all professions, there are a wide variety of people in the adult industry, with a wide variety of mind sets and skill sets.  Some suited to the work and others not so much.  What we all have in common is prejudice and persecution world-wide.  Even where sex work is legal we can still be driven out of our homes, lose our kids, lose our day jobs, be socially ostracised, become unemployable…  Those in places where it is not legal suffer being forced underground where they are more vulnerable to violence and afraid to seek police help in case they are jailed themselves…. For, you know, performing mutually consensual acts with other adults…

I don’t need to go into it too much.  You know just how socially unacceptable it still is to be a sex worker.  Just take a moment to imagine telling your friends, family, current work place etc that you are a sex worker… Feel for a moment what that would be like…

To stand up and be who I am despite all that takes a lot.  To forge my own unique style of kink and sexuality services is a tricky job.  It’s also a deeply rewarding personal calling that has enriched me in more ways than I can count.

The world does not often honor people like me… but these women did.  They honored me deeply.   They may never know how important it is for people like me who follow their natural calling into whoredom to be so deeply honored.  I just want to thank them.  I still do not know exactly who they all were but I thank them from the bottom of my heart and from deep inside my cunt.

********************

Artemisia de Vine is currently writing a book about her adventures called “Lessons from a Whore” and another on “Conscious Kink“.   If you would like to keep track of her writing, join her mailing list or subscribe to her blog on her Conscious Kink website or her more sensual site for those interested in the Conscious Erotic Arts.   

All material in this blog is copyright. Picture is of Artemisia by Shane Light from Liquid Light Studios.  

Nov 142013
 

avikabwdom textMerge my bubble with his… It is a feedback loop but mine takes the lead and down the perverted rabbit hole we go… Channeling Lilith and feeling the strength of all her immortal archetype running through history…

Rumbling thunder rolls up through me and I’m led by a knowing… Just knowing exactly how to tweak each moment to drop him down, down, down… Carry him on my energy to the trance world fueled by archetypal myth sexual fantasies… Arousal… Outside time and space…

I feel him crack and submit… surrender… open to something so much bigger than his everyday way of being.

“I’ve never experienced anything like that before! That was a different world! I can’t believe it but that was a religious experience… I was definitely in a trance… That was unbelievable! What was that?! You just *got* me”.

Yes.

Yes BDSM can be a shamanic journey.

Yes.

Are all sessions like this?  No.  But this one was.

-Artemisia de Vine-

Nov 092013
 

Temptation logoAs a professional Dominatrix, ocassional switch and educator in the world of conscious kink, I am often asked how I can possibly thoroughly enjoy play sessions that intentionally humiliate or embarrass my play partner.  How can I be invested in a loving, self-aware path that focuses on mindfulness and embodied meditation and also be into objectifying, degrading, controlling and belittling another human being?

Warning!  This blog discusses explicit adult themes of a fetish, BDSM and kink nature.   

It’s true that I am both a person who strives for integrity and cares deeply for the well-being of my play partners while at the same time I find it incredibly hot to make them perform erotically humiliating acts.  It’s one of my specialties and personal core erotic themes.  I am a humiliatrix.  I even like to some times, with the right partner, switch roles.  Embarrassment, power and eroticism frequently go hand in hand.

Being conscious about kink certainly doesn’t mean “light  and fluffy” BDSM only.  Delving into the feeling of danger and mystery can often be what ignites our erotic play… taking risks… peeking into the dark crevices of our souls…  exploring power or intensity can be what gives a session its bite and heat… carving a delicious memory into our flesh that lasts a life time.    

It could be as simple as having to bare your bottom and bend over for a thorough spanking… being anally taken by a strap on… forced to worship my feet… verbal put downs from mild  to intense…. being made to kneel… spat on… called names… small cock humiliation… put in degrading positions… being made to eat out of a dog bowl…  forced to drink golden showers…  being treated like a sissy slut…  being tied up, teased and laughed at about how turned on you are and how you are never going to be allowed to actually touch the body in front of you… and far more intense, explicit things I won’t go into here. 

shadow04Erotic Shadows

Conscious kink is not about sanitising that… It is about engaging with it in a consensual and aware way that aims to have a positive effect on all involved and allows us to travel deeper into each moment.  It is about learning and harnessing skills to ride the wave rather than be rolled by it… and to enter states of being and, well, consciousness one cannot get to otherwise.  Consciously approaching kink play takes bravery to be self-aware, take self-responsibility and be the hero on your own erotic quest of self discovery.  Far from detracting from the experience, being conscious in BDSM play only makes it more potent.

Each of us have core erotic themes that run through our fantasies and erotic dream-scape.  Core erotic themes vary greatly from person to person and are very often made up of the parts of us that we have suppressed as part of our personal and cultural upbringing.   As we develop and adopt the socially acceptable ways of being and behaving in any given family or culture, some natural parts of us are deemed inappropriate.   Showing anger might be one… taking up too much body space might be another… openly expressing our sexuality might be another…  According to Carl Jung, all of these aspects of our personality are suppressed into our unconscious where we are no longer aware of it on  a day-to-day basis.   The qualities that are suppressed are called our shadow and contains both negative and positive aspects of us.   Our shadow becomes the part of us we can’t see yet has a huge impact on the way we feel, act and react all the time.

Creating shadows is a natural part of learning to belong to any culture but creating shadows also creates shame.  It’s pretty simple.   Suppressing certain aspects of us also creates shame about those aspects.   Our shadow self is made up of all these suppressed aspects.  We access our unconscious, where our shadow lives, through the images and feelings in day and night dreams, imagination and yes, our sexual fantasies.     

Core erotic themes vary greatly from person to person but we all have them  if we dig deep enough we find common flavors running through our sexual fantasies and none of them are politically correct.  Some people, have core erotic themes that are about longing, being desired, having power, being powerless and some of us have core erotic themes that are formed from the clay of humiliation, embarrassment and shame.   Even those that have non humiliation core erotic themes, may have a smattering of humiliation woven through their fantasies anyway.  It is not universal but is very common.   

portal spaceSexual Fantasy as Portal to the Unconscious

Our sexual fantasies are gateways to these suppressed aspects of ourselves because being aroused or in sub space or both, takes us into a different state of consciousness.  When in these head-spaces we think, feel and experience things differently.  In these states of consciousness the veil between unconscious self and conscious self is thinner.  The unconscious bleeds through and we start to think in the langauge of the unconscious… in dream language… in fantasy language… So we have sexual fantasy and shame hand in hand here…  We also have an opportunity  for  inner alchemy here.  To turn the base metals into gold…  All the ingredients are there.   We have an opportunity for the conscious and unconscious to co-operate and align if we choose to embrace our shadow in our erotically fuelled  and/or subspace altered state of consciousness.   

knickersSissy Sluts as an Example of Erotic Shadow 

Cis men into cross dressing are into it for a huge variety of reasons and not all of them have a core erotic theme based in humiliation.  Like-wise, not every one who has humiliation as a core erotic theme is into cross dressing.   I am just using cross dressing as a possible expression of someone who has humiliation as a core erotic theme in the example below.

A person born in a male body is socialised to “act like a man” and “man up” from the moment he is first put in his pale blue onesy as a baby.   Depending on the particular culture, subculture and family beliefs, the idea of how to ‘act like a man” will have various expressions.  Some common themes are not being allowed to wear pink, satin, frills, flowers, make up, or anything associated with being a “girl”.   Crying, showing emotion, forming intimate connections with mates where feelings are openly shared… skipping… moving the pelvis in a “feminine” way etc…  Along for the ride with this mentality is the idea that men are the “doers” in sex and women are the “done to”.   Sex inherently taints women but not men.  Being receptive is female…  Being penetrated is not a “manly” thing to do. 

These attributes and acts literally have to be trained  out of our boys to turn them into “men”.   That means the attributes were there to start with buthad to be suppressed. Many aspects of  masculinity have to be performed and reinforced and are often reinforced quite brutally.  I’m not saying there aren’t natural differences between people born with penises and those born with pussies, but I am saying there are clearly also some pretty strong socialisation processes.  Boys frequently bully each other the second they show any sign of being “girly”.  Being like a girl is the worst crime and is considered weak, submissive and pathetic.  It may even earn you a beating and being socially ostracized.   There is deep shame in showing any attributes considered feminine.  Having a “big cock” is the ultimate symbol of being a sexually virile manly man and is associated with dominance.

barbieAs a dominatrix, I see a lot of men who are incredibly turned on by being forced to wear girly, frilly panties.  They feel really turned on by being forced to do all those things normally considered “sissy” but have no idea why.  It is such a common pattern there is a common name for it.  It’s called a “sissy slut” session.  The sissy sluts who also have humiliation as part of their turn on want to feel all the girly things forbidden to them and be humiliated for it.   They want to feel sexually desired and objectified the way women often are.  They love the feel of the silky under things against their skin but for the humiliation themed sissies, it isn’t truly hot until they are mocked and degraded for it.   They want to not only be smeared in lipstick and made to take on the body language of girls but they want to be degraded and called a slut for it… forced to suck my strap on and then be used anally.   Some find having their cock mocked as small and useless is a real turn on.   Basically, living out their worst fears and transforming them into something pleasurable through eroticising them.

This is just a small sample of many possible forms humiliation sessions might take.  Anyone of any gender can enjoy humiliation play on either the giving or the recieving end.  Another example could be treated like an animal, caged  and collared… because likewise the aspects of us that are considered uncultured, raw and sexual are often correlated with “acting like an animal”.  

Another person may enjoy eroticising the feeling of being seen and used as just a sex object.   Some may secretly fantasise about being a trussed up like a naked, hog-tied, turkey in the middle of the boardroom table while surrounded with corporate types in suits observing and analyzing them.   Others enjoy the thought of  being de-humanised altogether and treated like a resource.  A thing.  Or actively scolded and dressed down.

It’s not always overtly erotic either.  It can be more about subspace and the state of consciousness people go when the mind is tricked into a state of open surrender.  Sub space = submission space and often ressembles the place meditators aim to access.  A surrender of the ego to let some other part of us take the driver’s seat.  

Humiliation is complex.  I won’t go into all the possible nuances here.  Some of us have it as a deeply rooted core erotic theme that will remain with us for the rest of their lives.  Others of us have other core erotic themes but have aspects of feeling shame and embarrassment threading through our secret masturbation fantasies like a spice that adds the kick.  It’s not surprising really given the mixed messages we are given about our sexuality from the get go.  It’s a source of wonder and great shame.  The sex Goddess is also the “slut” and the “whore”.  

thespianDoesn’t acting it out reinforce it?  How can that be conscious and healthy?

So what do we do with this?   I have met may a tantrika or well-meaning person who thinks we need to heal this aspect of ourselves.  While I agree that working through sexual shame is one of the great works of our era, I do not agree that  our sexual fantasies and consensual role plays should be “healed”.  That is, the aim of conscious kink as I see it, is not to make those uncomfortable fantasies go away.   To avoid embracing our politically incorrect turn ons would be to suppress those aspects of ourselves even further… creating an even stronger struggle between our conscious minds and our shadow selves.   Instead, I propose we embrace our shadow in a conscious, lusty, full power way with a cherry on top!

By creating safe spaces to bring out and explore our shadow selves in a play scene we are creating a container with a neat beginning, middle and end that allows us to let the usually suppressed parts of ourselves take the driver’s seat.  It is a ritual if you like, where we can create temporary, different rules and ways of being that we consent to with awareness.  Our subconscious doesn’t speak the same langauge or play by the same rules as our conscious minds.  In a play scene we are letting the language of the subconscious take over, or at least bleed through.   By acting these shadow aspects of ourselves out, we  create an opportunity to bring the paradoxical elements of ourselves into alignment.  The paradox never goes away but we learn to ride it and find the treasure at the heart of it.  It is right there in the point where darkness and light meet that the magic lies.  

The point is not to turn darkness into light.  Oh no!  Too much sweetness and light leads to spiritual diabetes.  The point is to ride the paradox and engage with it consciously.  

By bringing unconscious and conscious into alignment something powerful happens.  Our shadow is no longer, well unconsciously controlling our feelings, reactions, beliefs, relationships.   Instead, the conscious and unconscious are co operating and co creating.  The shadow becomes our ally rather than our feared monster under the bed and we have a sense of inner alignment.

This moment of paradox in alignment sometimes just happens accidentally without us ever consciously examining any of the whys and hows.   The play is enough on its own to create this effect.   If you are erotically drawn to something and you have the opportunity to live it out in a safe way with consenting adults, then go for it.  Follow those erotic cookie crumbs!  They are leading you to a deeper relationship with your shadow self.   However just doing it randomly is a bit hit and miss.  

If we enter into humiliation play with awareness and conscious intention, we have the potential to nudge the result into an even more effective and powerful place more often.  While there are never any guarentees, the result is far more likely to be empowering rather than reinforcing the status quo.  There is the world of difference between a client who comes to me like our play is a dirty secret, feels ashamed that he has this need, responds unconsciously by being shifty and sleazy and then turning on me afterwards, to a client who comes to me willing to be the hero on his own inner alchemy quest by exploring his Kink proclivities with awareness and taking self-responsibility.   The outcome of the two sessions are vastly different.

In the case of the sissy sluts, conscious kink creates a place to play with gender.   We don’t try to make it politically correct because that would actually kill the power of acting out our shadow selves.  Remember the unconscious is not politically correct and we need to allow space to give it voice.   By acting out our sissy slut, we come into a greater awareness and relationship with the suppressed so-called “girly” or “slutty” parts of ourselves.    Instead of then becoming revolted when men act in “girly” ways without knowing why, we begin to lose that knee jerk revulsion.  We then have more choice around how we interact with gender and allow those around us to interact with their own gender identity in whatever way they choose.  Being  sissy slut doesn’t stop beign a turn on for us and as far as I am concerned it shouldn’t.   What happens is we have a more aware, healthy relationship to our inner sissy slut that ripples out into our relationship with ourself and others in all areas of life. 

erotic themesPersonal Core Erotic Themes

Each of us has different core erotic themes so not every one will be drawn to explore humiliation scenes.   Of those into humiliation, there will be a huge variety of fantasies about how that might manifest in your hottest turn ons.   Certainly not everyone will be turned on by being a made into a sissy slut.  While many men go through the process of having the “girl” beaten out of them through socialisation, only some end up with sissy slut fantasies.   No one really knows why for sure.  

Perhaps instead your fantasies are based on being caught masturbating, or having the girl you fancy use her power over you to make you jump through hoops?   Being degraded and having your mouth used as a toilet…  Or simply being made to beg to be fucked…  Maybe you like role play where you are caught rifling through your neighbor’s  knicker draw and she threatens to tell your parents if you don’t do exactly as she says…  Maybe you fantasise about being naked in a board room full of corporate types in suits?  The scenarios are endless and I have become very creative in finding ways to tease out those hots spots in an individual’s core erotic theme.  

The reason that I am drawn to humiliation play is that is one of my own core erotic themes.  I get it.  I really get it.  My goodness did it take me a long time to be able to admit it!   I’m into degrading and erotically humiliating others and under the right circumstances, I’m turned on by having the tables turned.  Oh the shame of having humiliation and degradation as a turn on.  *Cue irony*

As an aside, It is also worth noting that having core erotic themes like humiliation, does not stop us from also accessing other forms of erotic pleasure like making love, sensuality, ecstatic erotically-fuelled trance states, kundalini experiences and more.   Fantasy and kink play is only one possible expression out of many.   If you only know how to be aroused from your core erotic theme and can’t access any other forms of erotic interaction, then I suggest going to a sexologcial bodyworker or other conscious sexuality professional and learning how to access even more potential within you.  More options  = more ways of playing and connecting with self and others. 

ying-yang-yin-x-250943 So what makes Conscious Kink humiliation play sessions any different? 

There are all sorts of skills from neo-tantra, mindfulness and other somatic embodiment practices that are helpful to enhance any sort of kink play.  There are all sorts of subtle ways of  moving into deeper relationship with self from various esoteric traditions and somatic body-mind techniques.  Techniques from tantra, yoga, mindfulness and transcendental meditation practices all translate well into kink play.  However,  a really great place to start is simply with intention and awareness.

Just being aware that this play is a opportunity to own our erotic shadow selves and make them an ally already makes a big difference to how we approach any session.   Having the intention to tune into and embrace our erotic shadow changes everything.

I find discussing and stating out loud our intention in a clear sentence or two before we begin has a subtle but potent impact on a play scene.  Our unconscious responds to our intentions in ways that ripple out into our lives in ways we can’t really pre-conceive.   Having the intention, to love and respect ourselves and consciously let go for a given amount of time to fully enter into a normally suppressed way of being, accepting ourselves and each other “warts and all” makes a big difference.  Being witnessed, accepted and held in our  secret, sexy, vulnerable, shameful places is huge!

This kind of play often leads to a way of being where our shadow selves start to work with us in everyday life rather than control us in unconscious ways, bursting out like volcanos in seemingly unconnected areas of our lives.  Personally, I have been blown away with just how powerful simple tools like intention and awareness have.

barbed candleConscious Kink as a Spiritual Path 

Each person has their own spiritual or existential perspective and far be it from me to tell you what to think.  You certainly don’t  have to adopt my take on spirituality for this process to work.   However, to me, the great soul work of being human is to fully experience being human and awaken to our full selves.  Awaken all the layers…  We often wander about in a sleep walk, living our pre-programmed social scripts and wonder why we feel dissatisfied.   The antidote is to wake up!

More and more people are waking up and truly living.  One of the key ways to do this is to befriend our shadow selves and turn it into an ally.    One excellent and effective way to do this is through accessing our sexuality… where the veils between the conscious and unconscious are naturally thinner and alignment is more easily achievable.

I am of the school of thought that we are not human beings having a spiritual experience but we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  That means everything is already sacred just the way it is.  However the ultimate experience is being conscious of and fully exploring our humanity with awareness of our inner spark of divinity.  We feel the most right, the most content and at “home” when we are in alignment with all aspects of ourselves.

Sounds good, so where do we start?  

So all this sounds really exciting and you’d like to play.   Start by thinking about the common themes running through your hottest, most forbidden fantasies.  The ones you hardly dare think about unless you are so aroused you are about to cum.   There will likely be lots of different scenarios you enjoy.  Take notice of what the underlying themes are.  What common ingredient makes it hot for you again and again no matter what shape the fantasy takes?   Break that down so you can clearly communicate it and consent to it, agreeing to safewords and after-care.

hand shakeConsent, Negotiation and Safe words

Humiliation is a volatile fantasy to play with.  It has to be very carefully discussed and consented to before hand because one person’s turn on is the next person’s traumatic experience.  I can’t emphasis enough how important it is to discuss a potential humiliation scene thoroughly and work out exactly what hits the hot buttons and which ones hit the genuine ouch buttons.   It is important for all parties involved to consent to certain activities, attitudes and understand the vibe of the individual player’s core erotic theme.  

No matter how much you plan, there is always a certain amount of risk in these kinds of games.  I get my play partners to actively acknowledge that risk and take self-responsibility for it.  Having a plan for if things go awry is really useful.    We agree to a safe word that can stop our play at any time if needed.  I ask my play partners not to use the safe word willy-nilly but to take three long, slow breaths before using it.  If they still need to use, it, go for it but make sure they need to.  Life isn’t all nice kittens and pie and sometimes the most challenging parts of the play turn out, in hindsight, to be what really gave it power.

My most immediate psychological “first aid” tool for if my play partner or I becomes triggered is to focus on breathing.   When an unexpected surge of emotion rises in us, as it sometimes does when working with erotic alchemy,  I get the person to focus completely on their breath.  Counting with them and guiding them to breath very slowly and fully.. letting the air fall all the way out before taking the next breath.   Doing this for ten breaths is often enough to shift the burst of emotive energy  to be able to talk about it and feel into what needs to happen next.  If what needs to happen is beyond my scope, I have the numbers of highly respected, kink-friendly counsellors and psychotherapists handy.

It’s also important to discuss after-care.  Even if my play partner is grinning from ear to ear at the end of our session, aftercare may be needed to bring things full circle.   It is good to discuss with the person what they need to reassure them they are a respected, valuable human being.  For some people suddenly becoming all nurturing at the end of the session would burst the bubble for them but for others, it is essential or they will feel weepy and empty for days.  There are no fixed rules so communication and risk aware experimentation is key.    Quite often a blanket, a cup of tea and a chance to de-brief about the experience is enough.

If your play partner is not experienced, it may help to seek out someone in the kink and/or tantra scene who is who can help you work it out.   The local kink scene often runs workshops and skill shares.  Or else you can book in for a professional session with a dominatrix or switch. Some professionals approach their play more consciously than others so ask questions until you find the right fit.  Many kink professionals are happy to see couples and guide them into a play session together.  

If you are looking to specifically learn the skills to take humiliation into the realm of conscious play as part of your personal journey into great self-awareness, personal transformation, discovery and alignment then there are people listed on my website who work in those areas offering everytign from counselling, workshops, and play sessions.   There is a book list on the resources section of my website.   You are also welcome to sign up to my mailing list to keep an eye out for upcoming workshops or book in for a personalised consultation or play session.  Skype sessions consultations available.  

Most of all, remember that while this kind of play can push boundaries and be challenging, it is also lots and lots of  fun and one hell of an adventure!   Good luck on your quest to discover even more of your inner world and get off in the process.  Yay for the paradox of holy smut!

 – Artemisia de Vine: Goddess of Conscious Kink

 

All material on this blog is copyright and the property of Artemisia de Vine.   

Oct 172013
 

Vintage-Spanking-Image 6I taught one of my wonderful regular spanking clients how to incorporate tantric breathing today.

We normally role play domestic spanking scenarios and have a ball together. The boss who takes his secretary in hand for stealing petty cash, hikes up her skirts and gives her a thorough spanking and caning. She then catches him embezzling and has her revenge threefold.

Or perhaps the housewife who spends all her husband’s money and never cooks or cleans gets a firm hand putting her in her place with an OTK (Over the knee) spanking… Only to discover the husband bought a new car with income he had been hiding from her so she takes her revenge.   All the forbidden power play scenarios… We bounce off each other beautifully and both adore spanking so it is a really fun scenario full of squeals, pouty gasps, come backs and stinging slaps, stings and thuds that make us feel so alive.

Tonight we did something a bit different. I taught him how to use breath to move the sensation through the body and we had a much more sensual spanking scenario. Learning a couple of different conscious breathing techniques  adds to the already floaty state of conscious established by the endorphin rush and takes the whole thing up several notches.  Like throwing petrol on the fire…    A beautiful sensual caning scene had us both in a gorgeous, wobbly kneed space where we were grinning like fools and squirming in pleasure-pain with each stroke biting into flesh.  While I sometimes use the cane as a harsh disciplinary tool it can be used in extremely pleasurable ways… Heat kiss on skin…

“I’ve never felt anything like that before!” he said, “That was out of this world! Incredible!” And he doesn’t want to look back… Down the rabbit hole we go… ;)

Note: I want to be clear that Tantra is about far more than just seeking a higher erotic hit.  Tantra is far more holistic than that just as spanking isn’t just about a cutsey role play game.   There is more to it than that.  However, even without a lot of experience, just adding the breathing techniques alone can make quite a dramatic difference to any erotic or endorphin-based experience but it must be noted that is just the beginning of the tantric-spanking journey.  It also must be noted that my style of spanking is not only about the playful side but can also be very intense.  The kind you dread but know will reboot your system.

Oct 122013
 

vintage spanking 3I am a spanking enthusiast based in Sydney, Australia.  I thoroughly enjoy the role of spanker and spankee.  There doesn’t appear to be much of a traditional spanking scene in Australia and I intend to remedy that with my fabulous spanking enthusiast colleagues.

There is something truly, wickedly divine about a spanking.  I simply adore being both a spanker and a spankee.  I love everything about it.  The nervous anticipation… the playfulness… the sternness… the lovely floaty trance inducing rhythmic spanking… and the shock of the harsh punishment spankings… paddles… canes… taws… hand spanking… OTK (over the knee) and more.   I love the red, tender welts that serve as a reminder…  The embarrassment of being put-in-line… The thrill of exploring power over each other.

Each spanking session has its own flavor but there are a few that stand out as worth mentioning.

One of my favorite playmates and I really enjoy exploring the role play of boss who has caught his secretary stealing from petty cash… She can be fired or she can save her job and take a sound spanking followed by six of the best cane strokes.   Blushing and protesting she bends over his knee for a long hand spanking… Skirts hiked up and panties down…  The humiliation of it is quite delicious.  Then, when she is thoroughly warmed up, she is striped naked and made to bend over the desk to take the paddle, strap and finally the cane.  It is an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain.

Vintage-Spanking-Image 6However when this is done, the secretary realises that actually the boss has been embezzling money which is a far worse crime.  She uses this information to turn the tables on him in a sizzling scene where she gives far more punishment than she gets and won’t stop until she gets a pay rise.   Oh boy does the boss regret his earlier degradation of her as he is forced to take everything she dishes out or be publicly outed and possibly face jail time.   It is a terribly fun game of humiliation and revenge, giggles and banter and squeals as cane bites flesh.
Another favorite is playing card games or board games like snakes and ladders.  Who ever loses gets the next spanking.   School student being disciplined in the principle’s office is another fun game…  Over the chair, touch your toes… Thwack, thwack, thwack!

Here is a tale I wrote out about Paul who is disciplined by his sister-in-law for not appreciating his wife.  Hope you enjoy it!

However, on occasion I do not want any role play at all.  I simply want to float in the genuine pleasure of a rhythmic spanking.   Spanking can actually be used beautifully with tantric techniques to induce an erotic, ecstatic trance.   People have been using pleasure and pain for centuries to carry them into altered states of consciousness for pleasure, ordeal initiations and for spiritual experiences.
I have loved spanking for as long as I can remember.  It is a personal passion.   I think the English tradition of the spankee is truly fabulous and aim to bring something similar to Sydney.  I also plan on exploring a few non traditional ways of exploring too.  As well as my professional sessions, I dream of having spanking parties and events.  I am seriously considering making a few spanking clips in future so stay tuned.  Perhaps even drop me a line to suggest a favorite spanking scenario.

Aug 212013
 

foot fetish CK logoPlump white toes with crimson nails… creamy arches and slender elegant ankles and plump, shapely legs… Stockings or bare wiggling toes… Some are drawn to delicate, clean and pretty feet  they wish to honor in worship  while others are more attracted to the dirty, smelly feet they are forced to grovel under and lick clean in service of their Mistress.   Perhaps you are more about the shoe worship?  Smelly sneaker, elegant stiletto heels, impressive boots?   Perhaps you enjoy the tantric sensual ritualised version of foot worship?  Either way, the desire to serve feet is a delicious fetish that can be explored in a multitude of different ways.  Some common ceremonies are below but feel free to discuss your unique intention and desires to have a ceremony designed especially.

Worship the Goddess’s Feet

For those who adore toe cleavage peeking out from pretty shoes, and find arousal in pleasuring feet there is a beautiful conscious erotic foot worship ceremony  that I offer.   It begins with a foot washing ceremony where you take the time to fully sink into being present with the feet.   Take the time to mindfully wash your Goddess’s feet in the time-honored tradition using essential oils and honor.  Allow yourself to sink into the moment and delight in every aspect of her feet.   Connect with your body, breath, arousal and feel each exquisite moment.  Lick your Goddess’s feet dry, massaging and honoring… There is the world of difference between honoring feet and merely washing them… Be guided into exactly how this Goddess likes to be worshipped.  You may be rewarded with a beautiful, sensual foot job finish.

feet2 CK logoGrovel Beneath the Goddess’s Feet

For those more drawn to being a mere slave in the presence of a demanding queen or cruel Mistress, then this ceremony is more for you.  On your hands and knees or  you will use your tongue to clean every inch of her feet, breathing in their scent and knowing your lowly place.  Kiss the ground she walks on and the feet that carry her through the day.  Be trampled and trained in obedience.  Your every fibre will pay attention and submit in service.  Your are pure devotion to the divine Goddess’s wicked desires.

Shoe and Boot Worship

Boot blacking and worshipping a Mistresses shoes… leather, elegant stilletos, intense boots and more…   trampling, licking, cleaning, honoring in ceremonial style dedicating your service and arousal to honor the Goddess’s boots.

Tantric Foot Washing and Bondage Ceremony

Delicate foot bondage can be an erotic experience…  Receive and/or give a foot washing ceremony with warm water and aromatic oils and then erotically honor the feet with decorative restraint and sensual rope play.  An exquisite, mindful and erotic ceremony using breath, presence, worship and arousal.  Sensual submission and honoring. Intentionally connecting to the energy centres in the feet… This can be a ceremony in and of itself or part of a larger play session that includes other elements.