Over the years working as a professional dominatrix I’ve become experienced in anal play on men from finger to fist and everything in between. There are many ways in which to approach anal play. However, it is not just the toys we use or which anal techniques we’ve learnt but also the attitude with which we approach a play scene that makes the experience full of fireworks.
Each of us has unique erotic wiring, so it is important to go about pegging in a way that taps into your core erotic themes. It’s no good being all sensual if you are turned on by the idea of being ravished and taken by a dominant woman… Likewise, it is no good being ordered into a degrading position if you are the type who needs seductive coaxing… Is being pegged a reward or punishment for you? A sensual connection or a degrading sex act? Is it a power game or the expression of equal lovers? One person’s turn on is another’s trauma so it is an important part of the consent process to discuss this before you play.
To help you ask for what it is you really crave, I have put together some of the more popular scenarios that get my boys excited to bend over for me. It’s far from an exhaustive list but covers some of the main fantasy and play styles. Which one are you? Are you a combination of several of these? What key themes do you need in order for pegging to work for you?
Key themes: Added Sensation, experimentation, Curiosity
This style is for those who are new to exploring anal play and pegging. This type of player usually does not want to make pegging the entire focus of the session but treat it like an added spice to their main meal to give it a bit of kick. These types tend to be more sexual rather than BDSM-focused.
Works well with: Single digit Prostate massage, small training dildo or vibrator, sex
Key Themes: Intimacy, Connection, Sensuality, Opening, Surrender, Ecstasy, Erotic Trance
Not everyone who likes to receive the attentions of my strap on is into being dominated or degraded. (For those that do like it dirty or all about power and control, scroll on down. Your type is here too). Anal play can be a deeply sensual, profoundly receptive experience. To have someone enter your body with fingers or toys is to surrender and open in a way that is hard to describe. People into this style of pegging often respond well to a full body sensual seduction first to help drop them down into a floaty aroused state. An extended external anal massage and teasing session helps relax and arouse… preparing the body for penetration.
When its time to begin, we start gently with a single finger, loosening the anal sphincter muscles. Pegging is never forced. We wait until the anus invites my dildo in. We synch rhythms through music and by tuning into what their body is ready for. Staying deeply relaxed can make way for male G spot orgasms. For sensual peggers, it’s about taking the time to truly sink into and open to the experience. There are two main sub categories amongst the Sensual Surrender Types.
Sensual Intimacy Types: It is important to note that some of the Sensual Surrender types will be seeking intimacy and connection while others are going into a sort of erotic trance inside themselves. Those that seek intimacy usually seek eye contact and often enjoy being placed on their back with their legs in the air and being “made love to”. Supportive leg harnesses and slings can help them relax their legs and therefore anal sphincters while holding this position.
Sensual Erotic Trance Types: are those who like to close their eyes and become completely overwhelmed by the sensations. They go somewhere inside themselves. For trance types the play style is about facilitating surrender much like a massage therapist. This kind of experience is about being embodied and it helps if they feel held and supported so they can let go and submerge themselves in the experience. This allows the trust needed for them to drop down deep. It can be quite distracting to try to use intimacy or fantasy when they are in this state. It can snap them right out of the embodied erotic bliss. It always pays to negotiate what your intention is for the play session so you are not pulling in different directions.
Works well with: a full body massage, sensation play, feathers, silk scarves, blindfolds, essential oils, tantric breathing and trance techniques, sex slings, supportive foot/leg harnesses.
Key themes: Domination, Control, Fear, Intimidation, Submission, Sadism, Masochism
For some pegging is about being dominated. The thought of a woman with an intimidating strap-on standing over them, ordering them to bend over and spread their butt cheeks gets them immediately hard… Or teetering on subspace… For some this style of play is about being sexually turned on and for others it is purely an act of submission. It’s very important to communicate which of these you are. The more information you give your Domme about how you are wired, the more fun she can have manipulating you in ways that suit her… And this type of session is all about what She wants…
These types often respond well to waiting on their hands and knees, ready to obey their Domme’s every word. The scene here is about having their boundaries pushed and offering up their vulnerable asshole to please their Mistress. She makes them take more than they thought possible. Being a little (or a lot!) afraid of what she will do next is big part of it. Anal play may be seen as a punishment or a reward in these play scenes. Those into Dominatrix Dick often respond well to being called “slave”. Use safe words in this role play to stop the scene if necessary.
Works well with: Bondage, Punishment, Intense Sensation Play, Fisting, Footing, Butt plugs, Enemas, Prostate milking, Figging, Electric Play, Proctoscopes, Anal hooks.
Key Themes: Being Desired, Taken, Overpowered
For some pegging is about being ravished and taken. It feels good to be the object of desire and see the urgent need in your lover’s eyes. It can feel great to be the one being “done to” rather than the one “doing” for a change. While in real life, no one wants to be raped, it is a very popular role play fantasy to be “forced” to receive the very pleasure we secretly want. This can take the form of being “forced” to be penetrated with primal lust. Perhaps they are made helpless with bondage or perhaps mind games allowing that psychologically dominate them to allow themselves to be used for someone else’s animalistic pleasure.
It is important to consent to this in a clear discussion beforehand and to utilise safe words should you need to stop the scene. A safe word is a word used to stop all activity and check in to see what is wrong. Safe words are vital in this situation because the person being ravished may want to role play protesting by saying “No, please don’t do it to me!” and “But you are so big! I’m so scared” or various other forms of protests. If you have a safe word, the ravishing can proceed with the creative gusto and all involved can sink right into the role play without fear they are actually causing harm.
Works well with: Restraint, Mixture of Rough and Sensual play, Erotic Play, Head fucking.
Key Themes: Naughtiness, Dirtiness, Seduction, Forbidden Fruit, Manipulation, Submission, Coaxing, Nurturing, Control
These players enjoy the fact that anal play is still considered taboo and dirty. They enjoy the feeling of “wrongness” and of being coaxed and seduced into doing something wicked. Some like to protest and play innocent but have someone else tease and coax them into giving up their vulnerable hole to be penetrated. It is a form of submission and control through a mixture of authority and seduction. Again safe words are a very good idea so you know when the reluctance is play acting and when it is real.
Works well with: Role Play, Age play, Teacher/school student, Boss/employee, Baby sitter/teenaged boy, Hot neighbor caught you peeping through her window and has decided to have her way with you or she’ll dob you in… You get the idea…
Key Themes: Degradation, Being Used, Humiliation, Objectification, Domination and Submission
This style is for those who are turned on by feeling erotically used and degraded. Picture all the stereotypes of the slut or the whore being used for another’s pleasure. Of course I am far too sex-positive to really believe those stereotypes but it can be hot to tap into that archetype in role play. Slutty toys often like being on their hands and knees being trained to deep throat and having their holes stretched by dildo after dildo in by ever increasing size. These types can enjoy being trained to take whatever Mistress pleases in whatever way she likes. Some times this can include either fantasising about or actually getting extra people of various genders to join in the fun.
Works well with: Gang Bangs, Slut training, Exhibitionism, Forced Bi scenarios, Glory Holes, Butt plugs, Spit Roasting
Key Themes: Gender fucking, Being Desired, Feminine, Submissive, Degradation, Feeling Exposed, Vulnerability, Used, Objectification
This is for those who enjoy playing with gender. It is very common to draw on traditional (and out-dated) ideas about what makes someone masculine and feminine and swap them around. Again, I do not believe these stereotypes are how we really are but they are nontheless super hot to mess around with in role play.
Sissy sluts revel in the opportunity to let all their suppressed “feminine” attributes to come out. Cross dressing is a big part of this one. “He” becomes “she” and our sissy glories in being a degraded and used sex object in frilly knickers, fishnet stockings and smeared red lipstick. She can be re-named something like “Fee Fee” or “Trixie Belle” and taught to parade around seductively in high heels and a wig.
Being feminine is equated with being a submissive, objectified, sexually used, slutty, whore being made to get in various humiliating positions and perform sexual services for their Mistress’ entertainment. In this version of the game our sissy slut’s cock becomes a “clitty” and her asshole becomes her “pussy”.
This can sometimes include a third person (either male or trans) to train the Sissy in real-life forced-bi scenarios. The sissy may not actually be attracted to men at all but is turned on by being forced to perform the slutty acts in order to please Mistress. Oral sex, deep throating, being anally penetrated. In this instance the Mistress’ pegging may be preparation… A training tool so that the sissy can take cock.
Works well with: Role Play, cross dressing, sissy slut training program, forced bi scenarios, golden showers, squirting dildos, begging, gang bangs, glory holes, forced masturbation, edging and so much more.
Key Themes: Desired, Femininity, Innocence, Sensuality, Playful Connection, Receptive, Sexual Awakening
Like the sissy slut, this scenario is about a man taking on a feminine archetype through cross dressing and play acting traditional feminine roles. However this is not a sexually degrading version of femininity but an innocent version. Cross dressing in this instance reflects this girlish innocence in whites and pinks, ribbons and frills.
Sweet Gender Bender types often respond well to a “girls night in” role play where they hang out with their strap-on wearing girlfriend. They play around together getting dressed up, doing each other’s hair and make up, drinking champagne, dancing to music and talking about boys. It turns into a lesbian encounter where the innocent crossdressing girl is seduced by her girlfriend.
Again our gender bender’s penis becomes her “clitty” and her asshole becomes her “pussy”. She enjoys the process of being spoken to in all the feminine terms; “Put your sweet little hands on my cock and give it a massage…” and “Let me see your cute little panties, do they match your bra?” “You look so pretty tonight, that lipstick suits you…” There is a lot of flouncing in this sort of pegging scene. Penetration is usually on her back with her legs spread.
Works well with Role Play: Kissing, Cross dressing, Sexy Dancing, Exhibitionism, Erotic Teasing, Sensuality, Fashion Parade and Photoshoot
There are of course more styles than this. We are complex creatures so you may or may not fit neatly into any of these categories. However, this is an excellent starting point to work out what style of pegging is for you.
Extended Anal Training Program:
While a single play session is of course possible and pleasurable, for anal enthusiasts and those keen to explore deeper, I am offering an Extended Anal Training Package.
Anal sphincters become more flexible with training just like doing yoga makes our bodies more flexible. It really helps to have an experienced anal expert guide you through an anal training program to discover all the nuances possible. G spots aren’t always the obvious turn on of the cock or clitoris. Male G spot can be illusive, just like the female G spot. It takes time, practice and patience to discover just what kinds of pleasure are possible through anal play but as many anal enthusiastc can attest, once you have accessed this kind of pleasure it can be full body bliss.
I approach anal training as far more than just phsyically training your hole. It is a mind, body and sometimes heart and soul journey of self discovery. It is very much about the places we go inside ourselves during play as well as the physcial acts themselves. You can learn to use erotic embodiment practices to drop deeper into your bodies. This enhances subspace and/or erotic states of consciousness taking play to the next level. For those keen to see just what is possible I offer the opportunity to be guided down the anal rabbit hole.
Each package takes into account what style of anal player you are… For those into sensual anal play, the program will have a sensual focus. For slaves types, you will be put through a vigorous anal training process under Mistress’s eagle eye and strict regime. It is a journey into submission as much as discovering the joys of your ass. For sissy sluts, there is a slut training regime… You get the picture…
Each Package includes:
- Four x 2hr in-person play and training sessions
- Journal keeping
- Homework tasks that include training, play and education
- Reporting back at set times
- Integration processes
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