etiquetteWhen contacting a BDSM and kink specialist, there are certain dos and don’ts that make the whole experience far more pleasant for all involved.  While the kinds of people I accept as clients are generally already aware of how to behave like respectful gentlemen or obedient slaves, there are none-the-less a few tips and pointers you may not have thought of.  Please read the below in full.

DO read my website before contacting me to get an idea of the kinds of sessions I offer and the philosophy I operate from.

DO  call rather than text unless otherwise specified.

DO NOT call outside my working hours Mon-Fri 10:30am-8pm.

DO communicate honestly about what it is you are truly hoping to experience.  While I am not a factory line and I do not take orders about how to run my sessions, I am very interested to know exactly how you are wired and what your expectations, hopes and desires are.   I will then design a session in our natural area of overlap with this information in mind.  It is far more satisfying for both of us if I have the information I need to create interesting experiences.

DO NOT speak to me as though I am in service to your cock and list off act you want me to perform like a monkey in order to get you off… or like your favourite topping on a pizza… While I do want you to communicate how you are wired and the kind of session you are hoping to be granted, you do need to show respect.  Your attitude should be of one applying for a session with a skilled professional and honoured Goddess.

DO confirm or cancel your appointment at the allocated time.  Each of my sessions takes up to 2 hours to prepare for.  Some longer if certain things like golden showers are involved or certain equipment needs to be sterilised.  When you book with me I set an allocated time for you to confirm or cancel by on the day of the session.  Is is vital that you respect this.   I need to prepare the space, equipment, mind-space and my own appearance according to the intent behind the session.   If you do not confirm at the allocated time, I do not bother to get ready.   It is also, extremely inconvenient if you make a booking and then do not bother to cancel as someone else could have had that time slot.  Have the courtesy to let me know you need to cancel well ahead of time.

DO NOT arrive early.  I will not be ready.

DO NOT speak to me as though I am merely a set of physical characteristics for your sexual gratification.  While my appearance is part of the package of what I offer, it is just that, only part of the whole point of what I offer.  If you treat me like I am only a set of physical attributes and do not demonstrate respect for me as a whole human being, mind, body, heart, soul and skilled professional, then you simply will not be granted a session.

DO communicate any health concerns you have so I can take the necessary precautions to carry you safely as possible through our journey together.   If you have heart disease, are on any blood thinning medications, have epilepsy, diabetes, allergies, back or knee problems, wear contacts, have STIs, mental health issues or any other health concerns I need to know about it.  You will still be granted a session.

DO consent to risk aware play.  Each session will be discussed in-depth before we begin.  This gives us both a chance to set our boundaries and make risk aware decision as consenting adults.  Understand that while there is inherently a risk in every kind of sexual or BDSM encounter, I need you to communicate in order to minimise those risks.  By consenting to a session with me, you are agreeing to take full responsibility  to communicate if anything is wrong and use your safe word if necessary. You are also agreeing to communicate anything I need to know to keep you and myself safe during our time together including, but not limited to, mental health issues and STIs.  You are agreeing to consciously take self-responsibility for your emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual well-being.  You are also taking full responsibility for any risks or harm that occurs in a play session with me and agree not to take legal action.

DO respect safe words and negotiated boundaries.   Should I use a safe word, that means that all activities must immediately stop.  We need to re-negotiate before continuing or cease altogether.  If you do not respect my boundaries or ignore my safe word, then you will be asked to leave immediately with no refund and may be charged with sexual assault.  If you use your safe word, or remove your consent for an activity at any time, your wishes will be respected.  While power play and the illusion of non consent can be extremely hot at times, this has to be done within the context of risk aware consent and mutual respect.  When we feel safe, we create the space to be vulnerable…  sink deeper into the experience… let go… free fall… surrender…