Aug 102018
 

Even with all My fancy cock and ball torture equipment, I ended up just using a humbler, a shoelace, some rope, a bucket and a potato masher to devastate My slave’s balls last night. Oh and of course, my hands, knees, feet and elbows… You can do quite heavy ball busting with quite simple things. Though of course, it does help that he was securely bound to my bondage bench with no hope of escape. 

The sado-masochist dynamic can be excruciatingly beautiful when the energy feedback loop flows well. When someone is willing to endure pain for Me… to put their full attention on just getting through the next few seconds, to please Me… when they volunteer their suffering… their strain… their very breath as offerings for Me… The intimacy of that is often more intense than sex. 

I feed off this energy, willing sacrificed. They feed off My reaction and are bolstered to endure a little more… moment by moment…  We are to pieces of the same whole. Different but complimentary cogs. The thrill is often in feeling that temporary Oneness and it’s physical markers, snaking through our beings

I draw this energy through My body and it feels like warmth… electricity… elation… and it can be deeply touching. Occasionally I will feel sexually aroused but mostly it is the feedback loop flowing through both of us that sets my being on fire.  A masochist will share in this, filling with their own elation…

Compare a face in pain to a face in ecstasy…  Both contorted.. No where to hide… the world falls away and there is nothing but this moment and that connection between us.  

As a Pro Domme and lifestyle Mistress, I have many aspects to Me.  I like to play differently with different people and I don’t always want to be sadistic.  However, when the right fit comes along, it is a beautiful thing to unleash My talons and watch time distort… each second an eternity… their body, My instrument to orchestrate beautiful mayhem.  

Most BDSM, and sex for that matter, comes down to the connection that flows between us and the places we go inside ourselves, and with each other…  That is actually what we seek.  

Apply to submit to Mistress or see other types of sessions available at devinekink.com

Jul 262018
 

Her lip quivered slightly as she held her shaking hands out in front of her, palms up.  She stood there in nothing but her knickers and squeezed her eyes shut in anticipation of the stinging cane stroke I was about to deliver. I made her wait for it.

“A maid should carry herself with decorum at all times.  You should be aware of your surroundings and how you appear to Me.  Are you are a neat and appealing addition to My room or are you a cluttered, mess disturbing my equilibrium?  I expect My maids to move with grace and stand, kneel or sit in the proper positions as outlined by My protocol training.  Fidgeting is not tolerated.”

“Yes Mistress.  I apologise Mistress.  I will try harder.” she said blushing.

“Normally I cane your lovely plump bottom, but fidgeting hands are likely to remember to be still if they are throbbing and sore.” 

“Yes Mistress, You are right Mistress.”  She acquiesced, trying to make herself as agreeable as possible. Her arms were beginning to shake and droop a little.

“Hands out straight! Sloppy Missy! Sloppy and disappointing. I think I will double your punishment if you cannot take My instruction seriously!” 

Her face filled with alarm as she promptly lifted her arms back up straight out in front of her. 

Australian Disciplinarian

The cane whirred satisfyingly as it sliced through the air and landed sharply across both palms.  Missy cried out and involuntarily pulled her hands away. 

“Tutt, tutt.” I purred as I pulled them back into place.  “You know you are to present your palms willingly for your punishment.  The whole reason you are here is because you have no control over your posture.  Hold  your hands out straight and do not withdraw them.  You have six strokes, but each time you pull away, we will start at number one again.” 

“Yes Mistress, she said.  I had her full attention now. I like how pain does that.  A well delivered punishment not only corrects errant behaviour but also brings their wandering minds fully into the room with Me. No escaping My sharp attention.  

“Now remember to count and thank Me after each stroke.” 

Again the cane sliced through the air, finding its target  perfectly.  Again the maid’s responses were involuntary as she pulled her hands away and winced in pain. 

“One thank you Mistress, may I please have another?”

“I can see you are not taking My lessons seriously.  You should be grateful I am putting this time and effort into training you. I can see I am going to have to take this up a notch.”  I paused, then continued…

“Stand in the corner, with your nose touching the wall until I return.  She obediently did as she was told.  I sauntered over and placed a 50 cent coin between her nose and the wall. 

“Hands behind your back!”  I quickly locked the cuffs she permanently wore behind her.   “Now, don’t drop that coin.  I expect it to still be there when I return or your punishment will triple.” 

She began to sweat,  which of course, made that cursed coin even harder to hold in place.  I then bent down and pulled her knickers down.  There was evidence of her earlier caning in the form of neat welts on her milky buttocks.  I slipped a gloved finger between the crack.   

“Some say fidgeting means you have ants in your pants” I said.  I plan on training you to be perfectly elegant in your posture and movements no matter what is in your pants.  Do you hear Me?”

“Yes Mistress,” came the miserable reply. 

I gently massaged her tight little pucker and eased it open.  Confused she moaned at this pleasurable touch and struggled to keep the coin against the wall. 

“Arch your back and present your bottom to Me and whatever you do, do NOT fidget, am I clear?”

“Yes Mistress”  she said immediately opening her herself to My touch.  Her rounded hips and small waist were pleasing in this position. 

I slid my finger inside her and a small moan escaped her mouth.  She quivered and the coin came crashing to the floor. 

“My, my Missy, what am I going to do with you?” 

“I am sorry Mistress, I am so sorry.  I won’t do it again.  Please give me another chance?”  she begged.

“I plan on giving you a lesson you won’t forget in a hurry, young lady.”  I smirked, stern but enjoying Myself.

“Now pick up the coin with your mouth, kneel before Me and present it to Me.” 

She  crawled  on the floor with her hands still tied behind her back trying to get the coin in her mouth.  I leaned back to enjoy the view.

After while of scrambling about, her bare bottom bobbing in the air, she managed to get the coin in her mouth and knelt before Me.  I had her drop it in my hand.  It was wet from her saliva.  It would be even harder to hold against the wall now…

I reached down, cupped her chin and looked intently into her eyes.  “Now, you have been a disgrace with your training so far Missy.  You need to learn your place as My maid.  If you ever wish to earn the right to wear the colours of My house, The deVinery, as a fully trained service submissive and maid, you will need to try a lot harder.  Do you understand?”

“Yes Mistress,”  eagerness to obey in all her features.  “I really want to be the best maid I can be.  I really want You to be proud of me so I can serve Your guests and make Your life easier.  I am willing to submit to Your training and will do my very best to please You.”

“Good girl.  Now stand back in the corner and hold this coin in place with your nose no matter what I do to you.  Quick smart!”  I clapped my hands twice sharply. 

She leapt up and presented her bottom beautifully, nose pressed firmly against the wall, hands still cuffed behind her back. 

I slipped a gloved finger between her buttocks and began massaging her hole open again.  Missy strained with the effort of keeping still and quiet. 

I took My time… No need to rush… I was enjoying this game.  I want to train My service staff to be exactly who I want them to be.  I train servants of all genders.  They each have their appeal.   I enjoy the process of moulding them, body and mind.

Missy arched her back slightly more, trying to resist the urge to lean into my touch.  I slid something hard and cool between her cheeks.  It was slippery with oil.  Missy’s breath was sharp as I slid it into her bottom.  It took a moment before she reacted. 

Three, two, one… her skin flushed red and she really began to sweat in earnest. 

“Wha… what is that Mistress!” gasped Missy in confused alarm. 

You do not speak unless  you first ask permission to speak Missy.  You know better than that!”

“Sorry Mistress, permission to speak please Mistress?” 

“Yes you may speak.”

“It burns Mistress!  What is it?” 

It is a lovely ginger root, I peeled and carved into a butt plug for you and then coated in home made chilli oil.  Chilli from My own garden.  Aren’t you lucky!”

“Errrr… yes Mistress, thank You Mistress.  Oh Mistress, it burns!”

“Yes worse than ants in pants I imagine.  Now you will learn how to hold your correct posture and demeanour no matter what.  I can remind you again and again by applying this technique until you learn.  Thank Me for training you.” 

“Thank you Mistress.  Thank you for taking your time to train me properly.”  she said, breathlessly attempting to sound measured and polite. 

“Good, now hold that coin in place while I go and arrange the rest of your punishment.  You still need to receive your six strokes of the cane across your hands without fidgeting.” 

“Yes Mistress,” she gulped, sweat beads turning into rivulets on her forehead, knickers still bunched around her knees.

The corners of My mouth curled slightly in satisfaction as I left the room. I took my time and made Myself a lovely cup of tea and checked my messages.  I rested and enjoyed the afternoon sun refracting through the crystals hanging in my dining room window.  My herb garden was looking lovely!  Especially those bright red chillis. So nice to spend some quiet time to Myself for a moment.

When I judged my maid had spent enough time anticipating My return, and suspected her bottom had perplexed her enough to make her willing and compliant, and her imagination had gone wild with what I planned next, I rummaged through the pantry until I found what I was looking for. 

I re-entered the room and poured uncooked rice in a pile on the floor.  Missy was bent over in the corner.  The coin had obviously slipped down some so she was bent, shaking, trying to hold it in place.  This made an appealing view of her behind, with the tip of the ginger root protruding. 

I paused, silent and just watched for a full two minutes.  I enjoyed hearing her breathing reveal her struggle even as she remained as still as she could. 

“You may drop the coin now Missy.”  I said with casual unconcern.

She dropped it in relief and stood back up in the posture she had been trained to use when standing and waiting for orders.  Shoulder back, eyes down, feet neatly together. 

“Come here Missy”, I said clapping my hands sharply in summons.  She obeyed. She was alert to my every mood and movement, as a good maid should be.  There was nothing in her world but Me.  She was no longer distracted and fidgeting.  She was putting her full attention on what I wanted and how I wanted it. My training was working. 

“How is your bottom feeling Missy?” 

“It still burns Mistress”. 

Good, now kneel on the rice in front of Me and hold your hands out straight, palms up.  We are going to start again with the six of the best I promised you.  This time, your posture will be perfect and you will not flinch, am I clear?” 

“Yes Mistress.” 

She did as she was told and kneeled her bare knees on the rice on the hard tiled floor.  Each grain dug into her flesh.  Her bottom was on fire.  However, this time she held her arms out straight and presented her palms beautifully.

The cane sliced through the air and landed across her fingers.  Her body jolted with the pain of it but she did not withdraw her hands.  It took all her concentration, but she did it.  That is what I wanted from her.  I wanted her to put ALL of who she is into each moment of service to Me. 

“One thank You Mistress, may I please have another?”

Time slowed as again the cane sliced through the air and found its target.  I chose whether or not I wished to hit her palms or her fingers.  She resolutely held her arms out, submitting to My punishments. 

“Two thank You Mistress, may I please have another?“  Her pretty plump thighs shook with the effort to remain still, still kneeling on the grains of rice.  No doubt they were digging in against tender knee bones by now.  

Again I caned her, three, four and five times, pausing between each stroke to allow the dread the coming punishment to build. Her muscles shook and her face flushed with the effort of holding still but did not lose her posture.

“You know what they say about the last stroke don’t you Missy?”

“Yes Mistress, it is always the hardest,” she said, clearly attempting not to cry.

I paused even longer before the last stroke.  Her whole body was shaking now in the effort to hold still.  The rice was pushing the edge of what it was possible for her to bare, her bottom alarmingly on fire and her hands covered in angry welts. 

“What have you learned Missy?”

Tears began to flow.  “I have learned not fidget and that the protocol positions You teach me must be adhered to at all times,” she sobbed, “I have learned I must be graceful and aware of how I look to You at all times.” 

“Good girl.” I said satisfied and sent the final stroke flying through the air like a lightning bolt.

Missy cried out and began to cry uncontrollably but did not move an inch.  I was proud of her.  I watched her hold the position waiting for My command to release her.  I watched admiring her devotion shaking through every fibre of her being and enjoyed just how far she would go for Me.  There is a beautiful kind of intimacy in Dominance and submission.  I made her stay there so I could soak it in. 

“I am proud of you My girl.”  I whispered.  Her whole being glowed with the praise.  “You may drop your hands now and get off the rice. 

She crumpled on the floor in relief. 

“Now let Me give you a little reward.  My training is always a little carrot as well as a little stick. Get on all fours.” 

She did so without hesitation even though her knees were so very sore. She arched her back prettily to make her rump available to Me… Her knees the right width apart…  I straddled her, and used her as a seat, sitting close to her buttocks.  I stroked her sore bare bottom and murmured soothing sounds.  Then, when I was good and ready, I let the warm trickle of my golden nectar run down her buttocks and sooth her fiery red bottom.  She sobbed in gratitude.  My quivering, teary mess of a maid was covered in my golden shower, broken and obedient, as is proper. 

However, this is merely one lesson in a long series.  While she has been serving Me a little while now, she was still only early on in my Submissive Training Program.  I held her head and stroked her hair as she cried and clung to my ankle. 

“That’s enough for today”.  I purred.  “Your next lesson will be how to draw a bath of milk and honey and perform a proper bathing ceremony for Mistress. There is protocol for this that must be followed exactly.  However that is enough for now.  I am pleased with your progress.

Find out more about Mistress Artemisia’s upcoming Submissive Training Program by joining her mailing list and following Her on twitter

Find out more about Mistress Artemisia de Vine, Sydney’s Goddess of Elegant Perversion, BDSM & fetish.  Explore Her kinky world and discover the other types of sessions available.

Jan 262017
 

Domina Artemisia de Vine slave CK

 

Do you know how good it is to be praised for what most of society tells me is wrong? A part of me I’ve tried to squeeze into conformity in order to be lovable?

I unfurl that part of me when I am Mistress in The deVinery. I am a caged bird, set free… soaring in the skies…

Do you know how good it is to be appreciated instead of shunned when I unleash like that?

This week’s good medicine:

“There is just no doubt at all that you are genuinely dominant. I normally struggle to submit because the dominants I’ve played with feel more like they are playing a role. The part of me that needs to submit just doesn’t believe it. With you though, there is just no doubt whatsoever. You don’t even have to try. You just are dominant. Sipping tea and laughing, you still radiate dominance. It’s glorious.”

And…

“I come back to submit to you because it is so rare to meet a woman so thoroughly in her power. You just are dominant. It’s intoxicating just to be around it.”

My submissives, pets, slaves and kinky adventurers often have transformative experiences by exploring themselves with me. However it does work both ways. They heal me too.

I appreciate their submission so very much.  It enables me to be who I am without censor.

Spanking switch circle

Spanking switch circle

“But hang on…. aren’t you a switch?”  

Yes, yes I am.  I am a dominant personality.  I just am the leader in most of my personal primary relationships.  I am naturally dominant in my every day beingness.

I also love being a Mistress.  It feels right.

I also very much enjoy switching, under the right circumstances, with the right people.  Professionally this is usually through role play scenes and domestic-style discipline.  

I adore receiving a well administered spanking and caning session.  To me this feels like the gift akin to receiving a massage.  It’s so good!  I can float for hours on the bliss of it!  I’ve even thought of training a service sub to spank me just the way I like it.  However, receiving from a confident dominant is also a delicious gift because the more they can take control, the further I let go.   Like jumping from a ledge, knowing someone will catch you.

artemisia-visits-brightonI also genuinely enjoy exploring power exchange role plays on a professional level.  Being “blackmailed” by my boss into pulling down my knickers, bending over the desk and receiving a thorough spanking/caning for losing an important account.  Love it!   Such a fun game!  But that is just it… it is a fun role-play game.  I can and do go quite far into a submissive role with it and get a lot out of it but it is a different thing to being a submissive personality.

There are limits to how far as I go into submission on a professional level because to really enter into the blissfulness of full surrender, I need established trust with a special person.  I have worked very hard to make sure I am trustworthy as a professional dominant so that my ongoing slaves, subs, pets etc can submit to me for real.  However, not many clients have the skill level to be able to do that back for me.

I do explore submission far deeper in my personal life when I get the chance.  I naturally desire to enter into all the beautiful spaces that submission can take me… the self discovery… subspace… the ego dissolution experience… awakening of the secret core of me that can only happen when ego gets out of the driver’s seat… I think my intimate experience in this area makes me a better Mistress.  It certainly gives me a much deeper embodied empathy for what my subs are going through which means I can guide and protect them better even as I push them into more and more challenging places…

Switching is so valuable and I recommend everyone try it even if it doesn’t appear to be your natural inclination.  In fact I plan on writing a blog about the spirituality of switching very soon.

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine, Dominatrix, BDSM

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine, Dominatrix, BDSM

However, I am not a submissive personality.

In my personal relationships I tend to be Queen in everyday life and I am drawn to partners that want to be my gallant knight, or general of my army.  We have an open and warm respect for each other’s opinions and needs but I tend to lead more often than not.  What is normally expected in a standard patriarchal relationship but in reverse.  Matriarchy.  I frequently date younger men.

Within negotiated scenes, they rule and I genuinely submit.   Wholeheartedly surrender and open.  We often switch in the bedroom.  It becomes a clearly negotiated power exchange where everyone is happy and everyone gets a turn exploring all aspects of themselves.

However I am still a dominant personality.  This is never going to change.  It just is. I didn’t have to overcome anything to be this way, I just am this way.  Most men find me undate-able because this threatens them too much. Ridiculous, yet deeply ingrained, patriarchal notions that make them equate allowing a woman to be the head of the household with making them weak.  That to be like a woman is weak.  Talk about misogyny!  If you think taking the role you expect women to take is inherently degrading, then there is a problem.  Take a closer look at that.

I receive the message that I am unlovable because I am dominant, over and over and over.  My male submissives receive the message they are unlovable over and over and over again.  So when my submissives show such appreciation for my dominant side, I purr and appreciate the hell out of them right back.   Bring it on.

Sydney Domina Artemisia de Vine

Sydney Domina Artemisia de Vine

See my website for other blogs or to apply for one-on-one sessions

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Sep 112016
 
Mistress Artemisia de Vine

Mistress Artemisia de Vine

I do love getting a parcel with new kinky goodies.  There is something so exciting about opening a package and getting to test out a new piece of equipment.  This week I received one of Mr Martin’s  PM leather hand-made hobble belts.  That is, an attractive leather belt you can wear every day, that double as restraints.  Very handy!

Being a big fan of brown leather, I asked for a brown version of the standard black hobble with stainless steel squares.   I am yet to test out the restraint part on anyone other than myself but I do like the look of it on my waist.  It is also easy to clip on my favorite impact play toys if I want to wear it to a play party.

The pictures of the lovely ladies being restrained are from PMleather’s site.

Full, disclosure, I did get this product for free because Mr Martin was hoping I would write about it.  However, I was under no obligation to do so.  I decided to mention it because I am happy with it.  If anyone else would like me to blog about their products, you are also welcome to send me free samples but be warned, I will be honest in my opinions.

Aug 022016
 

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSMTaking a deeper look into our taboo sexual fantasies and kinky desires, can be an extraordinarily illuminating experience.  Furthermore it can have a really positive effect in so many areas of our lives, yet we are often so debilitated by shame that we cannot even tell our nearest and dearest we have these dirty little secrets.

Or else, we proudly live out our fantasies in the kink scene… or by being a player… or masturbating to them… but are afraid to lift the lid and take a closer peak at what they mean and end up missing out on their full potential at best, and hurting ourselves and others, at worst.

One of the reasons that we often feel so much shame around sexual fantasies, is that they frequently tap into parts of us we have suppressed.  We are often in denial about these aspects of ourselves so when our sexual fantasies knock on the door we feel as though they don’t really represent us.  The shame impulse can kick in and we can suppress our fantasies altogether.  Or another common response, is to enjoy kinky desires or taboo fantasies, only for the length of time we are aroused, and then revert to feeling shame in ourselves and brush them back under the proverbial bush.

So many of us fear letting others know what we really think about when fantasising and yet we are all in the same boat!  Even those that initially think they don’t have sexual fantasies, discover they do when we take a closer look.

Common Fantasies

In my work as a lifestyle and professional dominatrix, switch and sex worker I have had the privilege of working closely with thousands of people’s fantasies.  I help them tease them out and create play scenes designed on each individual’s unique erotic wiring. While we are all different, there are common themes that emerge again and again.  There are also common patterns in the aspects of ourselves that we suppress that are directly linked to our fantasy turn ons.

Some are fantasies are about people we know, others are about ideal lovers and many are embarrassingly politically incorrect!  We can feel things that we would never want to act out in everyday life.  Aspects of us come out of the murky depths when we allow ourselves to tap into sexual fantasy!

Love and Power is a very common theme.  Those that see themselves as loving don’t like to see their desire for power for instance and suppress some of these aspects of self, while those that see themselves as powerful secretly desire to surrender to love… Or be forced to… These aspects come out in our fantasy desires.

Some of those that consider themselves “manly” don’t like to have others know they have a suppressed desire for the attributes socially coded as “feminine”.  Yet often those types will be the very ones that come and see me secretly for a cross dressing session… Or to be ravished with strap on…  There are of course also other reasons someone might be drawn to this type of play.  This is just an example of how a suppressed aspect of us might come out through fantasy.

Being ravished, or ravishing someone is a common theme.  Non-consent and rape fantasies can get us hot under the collar even though we don’t really want to experience them in everyday life at all!  These fantasies are an entirely different thing to real rape.  Our fantasy rapist magically knows how to do all the right things to get us off… Forcing us to experience the aspects of us we deny ourselves…

Sometimes we desire to give up all responsibility and be taken care of by some impossibly perfect lover…

Sometimes we fantasise about doing acts we consider dirty with people who are taboo for us to desire…

Sometimes we desire to hurt or be hurt… Physically or emotionally… Or eroticise things that genuinely cause us distress in real life…  Sometimes we eroticise shame itself…

Sometimes our fantasies are less obvious and take a bit more to decipher.  They are complex reflections of our inner world…  as complex and unique as you are, but however yours show up we have a lot to learn by taking a closer look.

Our inner fantasy world is a stage where all the parts of us we deny can come out to play. However, while we remain in shame or denial about these aspects of ourselves, these aspects take on a life of their own and can rebel against us.  They can express themselves in destructive ways.

So what is the antidote?  Well this is exactly what I would love to explore with you in my upcoming workshops series.

In the level 1 workshop you will get a chance to explore your recurrent erotic themes.  We will also explore what happens when we create an intentional relationship with our sexual fantasies.  What happens when we trust our sexual desires as an important message from unconscious selves and cultivate a playful and compassionate curiosity about them?  What happens when we find consensual and healthy ways to live out these aspects through play scenes and role play?  What happens when we all start accepting these sexual expressions in ourselves and in each other and stop being ashamed to admit we all have them?  How will that impact us personally, and collectively as a society?

This workshop is not about trying to “heal” these desires so we don’t have them anymore but quite to the contrary, it is about embracing our denied aspects and creating healthy and super sexy outlets to play with them!  It is about turning our sexual shadows into our allies.

Likewise this workshop also acknowledges that it is possible to act out our fantasies in ways that reinforce the shame and suppression cycle and keep us prisoners.  I explore the ways in which we can avoid those traps.

In level Two, which is a four day, fully catered retreat with optional play party, I share my skills as a professional kinkster and fantasy specialist.  I show you the tools I use to create play scenes that are based on your own, and other people’s fantasy blueprints. Level one teaches you how to work out and relate to those blueprints and level two shows you how to bring them to life through play.  Next year I will also be offering a more in depth Practitioner Level Training that includes these skills and much more.

Interestingly, in my experience, unpacking our unique fantasy blueprints doesn’t kill our turn ons, but instead creates more opportunities to intentionally tap into what can be our most exciting and fulfilling sexual expressions.

It also creates really fertile ground for deeper relationship with ourselves and intimacy with our loved ones.  It brings us into alignment with ourselves and leads to a sense of healthy sexual wholeness.  For some, it can even lead to connection with that aspect of ourselves that is bigger, deeper, wiser than our everyday self.

This work is transformation though play and it’s super hot!  What’s not to love about that!

Are you someone who only ever secretly fantasises while watching porn, during sex or while masturbating but would like to learn how to get more out of these desires by bringing them into your sex life more proactively and openly?  Then this workshop series is for you.

Are you someone who has a partner with taboo desires completely different from your own and experiences confusion about this disconnect? Would you like to understand these fantasies more and learn how to play with them in ways that are mutually fulfilling?  Then come along, this is going to be really helpful for you.

Are you someone who would love to know how to discover your own, and other people’s, sexual fantasy blueprint and how to design a play scene around it that hits all the right buttons?  Well let me share my years of experience and the knowledge I have gleaned from creating thousands of play scenes as a professional.  Level 2, the four-day, fully catered retreat & optional play party will be especially useful for you.   However, first you need to understand level 1.

Are you someone who has played around in the kink scene and done-all-the-things, but feel as though there is something more possible with this play?  Something you can’t quite put your finger on?  Then this is for you too.

All genders and sexual orientations are welcome.  Singles, monogamous couples, poly folk, you are all welcome.  You do not need to have a partner to attend.

There will be no nudity or sexual activities on level 1 but in level 2 there will be the possibilities of your own expression at the optional play party. You could also easily attend level 2 without ever choosing to be nude or play in any overtly sexual ways. You are invited to participate only to whatever level you feel comfortable with at any given moment and honor your learning edge.  Safety and consent frameworks will be openly discussed and put in place. Breaches of these codes of conduct will be taken seriously and may result in your removal without a refund.

Listen to my podcast on Exploring Sexual Shadows here.

Read more about the workshops and BUY TICKETS here.

Join my mailing list to stay informed about upcoming workshops, private coaching and play sessions.

Alternately follow me on Twitter.

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSMAbout Artemisia de Vine
Sydney-based, professional & lifestyle dominatrix, switch & sex worker who specialises in creating opportunities for sexual self discovery through play scenes designed on her client’s unique erotic wiring.  She draws on her experience and training in BDSM, tantra, sexological bodywork, Taoism, personal development coaching, years of work in the adult industry and more.  Her skills and experience span the sensual to the deliciously twisted.  See her website for more.

Jul 252016
 

Artemisia de Vine discipline role play CKWarning, explicit pics and stories about Sydney-based Mistress Artemisia de Vine and her slave.

Her: “You didn’t!”

Me: “Oh yes I did!”

Her: “No way!”

Me:  “Yes, I absolutely did.  I superglued googly eyes to his cock”.

We two Mistresses laughed till we cried at the diabolical absurdity of it.  Tears literally streaming down our faces.  God I love my job!

Being a sadistic humiliatrix doesn’t always have to be terribly strict and stern.  Sometimes it is just damn entertaining.

Mistress Artemisia's Sydney slave CKThough the scene didn’t start out that way.  He kept me waiting 8mins and this is never a good idea.  I instructed him to enter the shared courtyard bathroom and strip naked.  His clothes were to be placed in a neat pile, with his tribute on top and he was to wait.  Cold…  Knowing it was a bathroom used by those in the offices downstairs…  He obediently waited.  He’s submitted to me several times before and knows it is best to obey…

When I eventually did throw the door open and help myself to his pile of clothes, he looked quite pale.  So nervous he was shaking.  I stood there fully clothed with the door open, knowing anyone could walk up at any time.  He had no where to hide.  I savored his panic and took my time…

“You made me wait 8 minutes!”  I said with a raised eyebrow.  I didn’t need to say another word as the point was clearly made.  His eyes darted behind me to check if anyone was there.

I slowly turned  and walked across the open courtyard.  It is semi private but should a neighbor from a nearby building happen to look at just that moment… I instructed him to walk behind me and I walked slowly and deliberately… him naked and me holding his clothes… him bereft of his only shield should someone walk up the stairs…

Finally I had him inside… His heart was racing, eyes struggling to adjust to the dim light.

I locked his clothes away…

“Today’s rules are very simple”, I said with a cocked head and seductively knowing smile.  I reached over and firmly cupped his chin, tipping his head up… my face inches from his.  Forced, intense eye contact.

“You are to remain erect at all times, but you are not to cum.  If you do cum, you will eat it of course.  I will make you lick every last morsel and we will continue anyway even though you are not aroused.  How you feel about it is irrelevant.  I don’t care if you are no longer enjoying our play because you are not horny.  You will obey anyway and I will not be returning your clothes until I am done with you.

Keeping an erection doesn’t sound too hard now does it?

“No Mistress”

Sydney slave edging, Mistress Artemisia CK“But you must keep that erection no matter what I do to you… We will be bring you right to the brink of climax again and again but you must not cum… This is called edging.  Do you agree to these terms?” I asked, deceptively seductive.  Afterall that sounds like a pleasurable session does it not?

“Yes Mistress”

I let a cruel smile spread slowly across my face as I held his gaze in a vice.  “Good,” I purred.

Now, now, dear readers I shall not give away all my secrets… You need to come submit to my whims to discover my tricks…

Suffice it to say that by the end he didn’t know if he was coming or going.  Two and a half hours of slowly building, pleasure, pain and desperation had him doing anything I wanted.

I had him desperate to keep his erection but made it terribly difficult by insisting he repeat back passages from “The History and Art of The Dominatrix” word for word.  Each mistake or incorrect word had… er… consequences…  Yet focusing on getting the reciting correct made it terribly difficult to maintain his erection… which also had consequences… painful ones.

Rather than opening up, this slave armors himself and steels himself against me… trying to endure everything I throw at him.  I needed him to open and surrender so I was distracting the part of his mind that is normally in the driver’s seat in order to let another part break on through… I did this by making that part of his mind focus on reciting while simultaneously overstimulating him in waves of sensations…  Sensory overload… anal and cock stimulation and torture… Sudden and intense pain…  alternating between nearly cumming and then experiencing pain to bring him back from the edge… over and over…

“The Dominatrix archetype overthrows social norms and conventions, upholding the female position of superiority and power”.  He recited with desperation in his voice…  Trying so hard to get every word correct to avoid that terrible no win, rock and hard place…  How I loved watching his struggle, not knowing what to focus on.

In the end all he could do was surrender…  by that stage he was delerious and he would humiliate and degrade himself in any way at all that pleased me…

Sydney slave superglue googly eyes CK…And what pleased me, amongst other things, was supergluing googly eyes to his cock.   Oh how I laughed and laughed!

His utter submission and eventual orgasm was cosmic.  His ego gave up and away he went… into subspace…

But that is not the end dear readers.  It is in the afterglow of this deliberate madness that some of the most profound things happen.  It is afterwards, in the still quietness where he lay broken and blissed on the floor…  Breathing the way I taught him… That is when he truly was free.

“There is no drug like this!  This is so different!  I haven’t ever felt like this before.  You’ve done it again Mistress!  I think you can’t possibly come up with something new to do me and yet you do every time! And every time we go further!  This is… there are no words… This is just wow!  You really really do know what you are doing.”

“Well done slave.  Well done.” I smile fondly as I stroke his forehead and let him soar.   I glow inside.  Peace, connection and bliss through perversion.   This is my art.

Jul 192016
 

 

shadow workshop fb-banner-level-one

 

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Carl Jung

Professional dominatrix and switch, Artemisia de Vine, is offering a series of workshops about owning our erotic shadows through sexual fantasy, kink and BDSM play. She says:

Again and again I am blown away by the power of kink to create wholeness and intimacy.
Is there anything so raw and beautiful as being seen and honored in your uncensored erotic expression? When engaged with awareness, this work/play is breathtaking in its scope and contains the potential for deep self discovery.

I invite you to join me in exploring the ways in which owning our erotic shadows through sexual fantasy role play, kink & BDSM can lead to an integrated and whole way of being.

It is easy to feel connection and love with ourselves and our partner/s in moments where we show each other our loving light, but only focusing on the sweetness can lead to spiritual diabetes! We are complex, multifaceted beings, and to be whole, we need to create relationships with all aspects of ourselves.

For those that choose to travel right down the rabbit hole, erotic shadow work can create opportunities to connect with the deepest levels of embodied consciousness. Some experience this as a spiritual path while others experience it as journeys into human consciousness. Almost everyone agrees it is profound.

Through these series of workshops, (more info on level 2 here: https://www.facebook.com/events/686938861446741/) I am offering to teach you the techniques I use in my professional sessions to more deeply and intentionally explore and integrate our erotic shadows through kink & BDSM.

Introducing key concepts and tools to begin integrating our darker and/or taboo sexual fantasies into our loving relationships and/or sexual play. This workshop will allow you to discover your core erotic themes that drive you to connect with others in certain patterns. Left unconscious, these core erotic themes can and often do, come out in destructive ways. When integrated, they become our allies in relationships and sexual well being. And they turn us on an awful lot!

Pricing:

Early Bird avaialble for the first 10 bookings until July 14th
$350 (full payment)

Full price $495 ($300 deposit available to secure a spot, pay remainder on the day)

Times: 6pm Friday night – 9pm, 8am Saturday till 6pm, 9am Sunday till 3.30pm

We are running an Introduction evening event on August 3rd, a stand alone event and or a opportunity to gain a clearer picture what to expect of level 1 and 2. For more info please go here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1721515164727272/

Apr 272015
 

 

Double femdom Sydney sessionsSubmit to the creatively wicked whims of two experienced Mistresses!

My dear friend Mistress Electra Amore is staying with me at The deVinery this month and we are whipping up a storm.  We play really well together, bouncing off each other’s elegantly twisted imaginations to create truly fabulous scenes.

If the idea of multiple golden showers makes you quiver, now is a great time to visit us. We are offering both short GS sessions and luxuriously long ones… Perhaps an extra Mistress to walk in at the opportune moment to add Her golden nectar?  

Or perhaps you enjoy four sets of hands going to work on your body… sensory deprivation and over stimulation… humiliation… impact play… spit roasting with two strap ons… medical examinations…  Can you handle the spotlight gaze of two dominants prodding, picking, pocking you into a submissive position?

We are particularly fond of:

  • Corporal punishment and discipline sessions

  • Cock & Ball Torture

  • Golden Showers

  • Humiliation, Objectification & Degradation

    mrs harpers dice smallerFor our spanking and caning enthusiasts, we may even switch!
    Three bottoms between us… We will challenge you to a game of Madam Harper’s traditional English Disciplinary Dice for wayward boys, errant slaves and willful husbands.  How ever the dice rolls decides who is punished, how many strokes and with what implements!


  • Alternatively stricter scenarios, roles plays and ecstatic trance spankings and canings available.  

    You are welcome to make a booking with either of us individually or both or us together for discounted rates because we enjoy playing together that much!  Contact myself on 0420 415 658 or Electra on 0412 569 969 to enquire.

    Artemisia de Vine www.consciouskink.com
    Electra Amore www.mistresselectraamore.com

     

 

Feb 062015
 

 

Male slave kneeling storiesBlindfolded and on all fours he waited for instructions, his ears alert to every sound.

I waited, watching his shallow, sharp breathing.  He had offered himself to me in service and wanted to be trained to worship me just how I like it. Little did he know what that would actually mean.

I ran a finger deliberately down his spine, teasing his buttocks and then tickling his balls. Twining my fingers around them, I pulled the sack skin tight and quickly slid a tie around the base of his cock. With a twist here and there it wasn’t long before his package was snugly bound in a classic cock-tie that separated his balls from each other and from his penis. This held him stiff while also drawing the skin of each testicle taut, enhancing sensitivity.

“So you’d like the honor of worshipping my intimate nooks and crannies would you slave? My wet, velvety places?” I asked in an amused but seductive voice.

“Yes Mistress, very much so, Mistress”.

“There is a price you know. Such an honor does not come free. Are you willing to pay?”

“Yes Mistress, do whatever you like with me Mistress”.

Without hesitation the whirring of the cane sliced through the air and bit into his soft buttocks. Two, Three, Four, Five, Six in a row… Cold strokes with no warm up.

Slave yelped in pain and surprise but held his position with a dedicated determination to take whatever I dished out. While his efforts where admirable, if he thought that was the only price he would have to pay he was mistaken.

While the red welts were still blossoming across his bottom, I attached a rope to his cock-tie and I soon had his balls tied to the bed railing behind him.  This meant his cock and balls were tugged on if he tried to move at all.

I then sauntered around him to lay myself down in a luxurious pile of cushions in front of his bowed head.  I slipped my g-string off, flicking him in the face with it, and spread my legs… My pussy just out of reach…

“Can you smell that my dear slave? Take a deep breath and breathe me in. Does that smell good to you? How badly do you want to serve me? You can worship me if you can reach me… Prove to me that it is about my pleasure, not yours…”

He hesitated.  He longed to please me, to taste me, but he would have to strain against the cock and ball bondage in a very painful way to make me come.

He reach forward, struggling to reach me. He was clearly in quite some discomfort and couldn’t help moaning in pain as he endeavored to prove himself to me.

I moved slightly further away and laughed, “Come on slave, I thought you wanted to worship my pussy? I thought you said it wasn’t about your pleasure, it was only about mine?”

He groaned in dismay and strained to reach me, this time clearly in quite a lot of pain as the bondage pulled on his cock and balls. Still desperate to reach the holy grail nestled between my legs, he pushed himself…

“You know I take quite a long time to come slave, we could be here for a while… my clitoris is higher up… come a little closer…”

 

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyBased on a real life session with Sydney-based Mistress Artemisia de Vine
Disclaimer: Don’t try this at home unless you’ve been shown how to tie the cock and balls in a way that will not damage the ductus deferens when tugged. See Artemisia’s  website here

Find out more about Slave training Goddess Worship Sessions here

Follow her on Twitter: @ArtemisiadeVine

Sign up for her mailing list

Feb 052015
 

 

male slave kneelingSlavehood is a vocation, comparable and equal in every way to any religious calling. — J. Mikael Togneri

I really need a service oriented slave… or servant… to help me tend this Temple of Perversion.

Someone to:

* Let me practice on them and use them for kinky experiments.
* Someone willing to tend to my equipment with reverence.
* Someone to drive me around.
* Help me plot interesting kinky games to play… come up with ways of making them happen…
* Someone to be my personal assistant in all things BDSM as well as other erotic arts.
* Yes this includes loads of fun opportunities but also includes cleaning, grunt work and unpleasant tasks to make my life easier.   Sometimes it is boring.  Sometimes outright unpleasant.  Don’t make the mistake of thinking being in service to me and my work here at The deVinery is always easy.
* Someone reliable, punctual, polite, dedicated & with useful skills to offer.
*Someone who sees service as a lifestyle and important aspect of who they are, not just a fun game to try to get free sessions out of me.  

***Big bonus if they are good at admin and/or editing.***

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyOf course, we need to enjoy each others company. There needs to be connection.  I am actually an introvert so if they drain me rather than feed my energy levels with their presence I am unlikely to continue the arrangement.  They need to understand and be passionate about the way I approach my BDSM, domestic discipline and erotic exploration as I have very particular visions and prefer someone who can play a support role to those visions.

What do you get out of it? Well to be swept into my mad world of course! It is awfully fun in here.  Read through the rest of my blog  and websites to get a feel for the erotic arts I have dedicated myself to and for my attitude towards those entrusted to my care.   My kink site and my sensual erotic arts site.

For a service oriented person service is its own reward.  If you are not fulfilled by service then this is not the right position for you.

For a slave or servant who proves themselves, there is an opportunity to go on quite a journey of self discovery.  I will place them under my protection and negotiate ways to support their journey into Dominance and submission as appropriate to our particular dynamic.  Training, nurture, punishment and opportunities to blossom are all possibilities.

No I won’t have sex with you.  Nor is this a romantic arrangement.

All genders welcome to apply.

maidIf you are such a creature, copy and paste the below questions into an email, fill in the answers and send it to artemisia@consciouskink.com.  Should you be successful in your application you will be interviewed.  Here you will have the opportunity to ask me all the questions you need to ensure I am worthy of your service, because it works both ways.

Those that make it to the next stage will be granted a trial period with training.  Mutual agreements that suit and benefit us both will form during this time.  The more honest, grounded and realistic you are in answering these questions the more likely I am to take notice.

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Profession:

Best contact:

Your location & how long it would take you to get to me here in Glebe, Sydney:

Attach a picture of yourself so I can get a feel for you.

butlerWhat does service mean to you?

What experience, if any, have you had being in service?

What was the most rewarding and motivating aspect of that service?
(If you have had no experience, what do you imagine that to be?)
What have you learned simply doesn’t work for you?  Deal breakers?
What can go wrong you would like to avoid?
What do you honestly need in order to dedicate yourself in service? Emotionally, physically, spiritually?

What do you need from me realistically?  Time, attention, emotional connection, respect, safety, appreciation, punishment, personal development, play time etc

Why are you interested in serving me and my temple of perversion, The deVinery, in particular? Why me?

What are you realistically offering in terms of:
* Time per week (Remember to realistically factor in your job, family etc)
* Skills (cooking, admin, kinky furniture making, sewing, massage, business skills, diplomacy etc)
* Acts of service (cleaning, driving me around, grocery shopping, massage, thoughful gifts, lifting, carrying, gardening etc)

The de Vinery temple to the erotic

From your perspective and in your own words, what is my work all about?

How are you the right person to play support role to that vision?

When and how did you first know you were service oriented?

Which of the following archetypes is closest to describing you? Number them with 1 being most like you and 9 being least like you:
* Slave, owned and collared
* Servant
* Maid
* Butler
* Personal Assistant
* Best friend and support actress to my leading actress role
* Knight
* Trainee wishing to learn my arts and willing to work for it
*Other, please specify

Attach any references from previous service or other well-known and respected members of the kink community.

 

 

 

Jan 102015
 

 

 

Artemisia de Vine femdom Sydney CK logoDear Diary,

Today I enjoyed testing the flesh of a new slave.  I was in a cruel, sadistic mood and wanted to see what he would do to please Me.  I stripped him of his name and his eyesight by placing him in a hood and then made him prostrate himself before Me.  Slave position… Kneeling with forehead to the ground, hands out in front, palms up, offering himself to Me, his Mistress and his Queen… legs spread to expose his soft, vulnerable places for Me to inspect.

I reminded him that while wearing My collar, he is nothing but a vessel for My entertainment… That it wasn’t about his pleasure but all about Mine… and that I was in a petulantly bored sort of mood in desperate need of a diverting distraction.

He foolishly agreed to be my toy and I purred to Myself.  Let the games begin!

Mistress Artemisia slave sadistic sydney CKI soon had him trussed up, nicely vulnerable… exposed…  legs spread in the air and hands fastened securely above his head… helpless to escape but still able to move a little should he struggle.  This small amount of movement was intentional.  I had a little game planned for him.  I like to torment the mind as well as the body…

In our pre-play consultation, I had discovered slave particularly loathed golden showers.  Useful to know…

I placed marbles on his belly and told him that if he kept perfectly still no matter what I did to him and kept the marbles from rolling off, he would please Me and eventually be set free.  However if the marbles rolled off I would be displeased and he would have to drink My golden nectar.

exposed slave bondage sydney CKThis of course was a diverting game for Me.  I was a entertained for a good couple of hours…  I enjoyed visiting all sorts of teasing unpleasantness on him… nipple torture… cock and ball torture… different unexpected sensations from gentle stroking to sharp searing in delicate places…  and of course, with such a nicely exposed asshole I was too tempted not to torment it.

“Oh but slave, you should be honored to drink My golden nectar.  It is an elite vintage.  I could bottle it and sell it for a fortune.  Other slaves would be delighted to taste My tang on their tongue.  I should make you gargle it and guess the bouquet.  Can you hear Me drinking more water in preparation?  I am brewing a special batch just for you.”

To this slave however, the thought was revolting so the imagery kept him even more obediently still.  As much as I would enjoy forcing him to drink, I actually had other plans.  Torture is so much worse if you choose it yourself… To him drinking My urine was hell.  So much so that he would willingly beg Me to do other painful things to him, and dear diary, I do ever so love a begging slave.

Still while I had him nicely bound and psychologically tormented I may as well see what else I could get out of him.  There was no rush, I didn’t want the game to end too soon.  I wondered what dirty things were in the secret corners of his mind that he had never told a soul?    What things would make him he die of embarrassment  if his friends, team mates and colleagues knew?  I do like having leverage over My slaves and knowledge is power.

I gloved up and pretended to lube up his bottom in preparation for penetration.  However I instead of lube I used a generous amount of deep heat, massaging it into his delicate pucker and slathering his balls with it.  I then stood back and waited for him to realise what I had done.

Artemisia's slave Sydney hood CKIt didn’t take long… Soon whimpering began to escape his lips and he looked distinctly uncomfortable.

The marbles teetered dangerously but slave was determined not to taste My urine.  He managed keep them balanced in a neat row on his quivering flesh.

“Your bottom is looking nice and vulnerable slave?  How is it feeling?”  I asked in amused mock sympathy.

“It burns like nothing else Mistress!” He said breathing sharply and clearly miserably but still determined to prove himself to Me.

“Oh good.  That pleases Me. Though… it is a rather tight hole…  I think it needs stretching, don’t you?”

He gulped, not sure how to answer.

“What no answer slave?  I shall take that as a yes.  Unless…  unless of course you entertain Me in other ways?  I paused a moment to let hope simmer…  Perhaps you’d like to tell me a story? ”

“A story Mistress?”  His confusion was priceless.

sadist ass spreader speculum femdom BDSM CKI didn’t answer for a moment.  I lubed him up and penetrated him with my finger for a while, then inserted one of my favorite toys… the ass spreader…  He would have felt cold metal sliding into his anus.  Probably initially a relief against the burning… I gave the screw a few turns so it slowly began to open his hole, giving him a taste of what was to come.  His confusion about what was happening brought a smirk to My face.

“I tell you what slave, I will begin stretching your asshole open nice and wide.  You will soon want Me to stop.  When you have confessed to Me a dark secret fantasy you have never told a soul I will cease stretching and apply tabasco sauce.  This is a new level of burning but you will beg for Me to do it… unless you want Me to continue to open your hole wider… and wider… and wider…

In order for Me to stop stretching you, I must be convinced it is a true story you have fantasised about slave and I will know if you are lying.  If I am not convinced I will continue stretching until I am.  Your hole is delicate and tight so I would hurry up if I were you”.

A lovely dilemma.  He does not want more burning.  Chili on top of deep heat is significantly unpleasant but very soon the stretching would be so much worse.  Again, I do love it when slaves beg me to torture them…  The trick is to get them to beg for the lesser evil.  I also love humiliating them.

“What is more slave, I am going to make a little video of this.  I am going to record you confessing your perversions to Me.  Perhaps I will keep them secret and safe… perhaps I will put them on the internet for all to see… It depends on how well you please Me”.

I turned the screw a little more, widening his hole to show I meant business.

“Now begin.  Make it good”.

This was a terribly fun game for me!  It went on for some time, with Me slowly turning the screws and opening him wider and wider.

Needless to say I forced some very entertaining confessions from him…  Confessions that had him blushing furiously and Me laughing all the way.  I could tell he was blushing because even though he wore a hood his chest turned bright red.  Beads of sweat turned to riverlets on his flesh… He confessed about fantasising doing some truly dirty things with people who would be shocked if they found out.  I will keep this information in the vault for now…  This knowledge will prove useful in future I am sure.

chili Mistress Sydney anal tortureBy the end he was begging in earnest for Me to fuck him with a tabasco sauce covered dildo… Which I did with glee.  I pushed that chili covered phallus into his strectch and aching bottom, generously spreading more sauce on his sensitive pucker and some for his balls too.

Ooh didn’t slave squirm!    Yet as much as sweated and groaned, he obediently held still enough to not drop the marbles.   I laughed in delight the more he suffered for Me.

This amused Me for some time but Mistress always wins so the marbles had to fall.

I let him think he had almost won his freedom then, without warning, yanked the nipple clamps off.  He cried out in shock and an involuntary convulsion dislodged those marbles and sent them rolling across his flesh almost in slow motion… then one after the other there was an ominous clang and clatter as they dropped to the floor and rolled across My dungeon.

“Oh dear, slave, after trying so hard for hours it looks as though you will still have to drink My golden shower after all.  Not a drop is to be spilt…”

I let that simmer for a moment…  Slave whimpered in dismay…

“Unless of course you beg Me to cane the soles of your feet instead, and thank me for the privilege of being beaten.  What would you prefer slave?”

bastinado sydney mistress foot tortureBeating the soles of the feet is called  bastinado and is really quite intense.  I knew this slave was a sportsman who had to go running later that night… which would prove difficult with sore, bruised feet…

Predictably, slave was soon pleading with Me to use the cane on his soft tootsies…

I took my time to let anticipation build and then whoosh! The cane sung as it sliced the air and sunk into his restrained feet.  He was beautifully tied up in rope bondage with no hope of getting away from Me.   After each slice of pain, he shuddered and gasped, trying to get his breath back.  As soon as he could form the words he dutifully thanked Me for my sadistic attentions and begged for more.

“Stroke One, thank You Mistress, may i please have another…”

Another cruel thwack biting into his tender feet.

“Two thank You Mistress, may i please have another…”

More and more…

“Twenty four thank You Mistress, may i please have another…”  he whimpered, clearly unable to take much more.

Finally I was satisfied.

Well… not quite. I had one last cruel game to play before I sent him back out into the world.  I untied him and led him to the shower.  I had him stand there naked in front of Me.

“Now slave, would you like you to be allowed to cum today?”

“It’s up to You Mistress”.

“Yes I know it is up to Me, but would you like to?”

“Yes Mistress,” he answered uncertainly.

Good then perhaps I will reward you for suffering for Me.  Play with yourself and let me know when you are getting close to climaxing…  However remember I own you.  I own your cock and I own your cum.  You are not to cum without my permission, do you understand?

“Yes Mistress”

I watched him with My arms folded and an amused expression as he tugged away pathetically at his cock.  It was sore and red from the earlier cock-caning and other CBT ministrations but I have learned a man will walk through fire in order to be allowed to cum.  He played with himself, looking both embarrassed and turned on.  His cock began to stand to attention and it wasn’t long before it was straining and stiff.  I watched him start to get close… his eyes closing, his chest heaving and his face making a grimace like they all do when about to orgasm.

“May I please cum Mistress?  I am so close!  Please may I cum?”

Without warning I grabbed the shower hose and turned a full blast of icy water all over him, shocking him out of his arousal.

“Why of course not you dirty little slave!”  I laughed as I held the stream of water mercilessly on him while he scrambled into the corner to get away.  “Of course you can’t.  How entertaining that you thought this was about you!  It is of course all about Me.  Think about that as you struggle around the running track with sore feet and blue balls tonight.  Every step a reminder that you are here to serve Me.”

Based on a real session with Mistress Artemisia de Vine.

NOTE:  There are always layers upon layers of psychological play going on underneath the actual activities in any given scene.  Every scene is negotiated to suit the individual wiring of both myself and the person I am playing with and consent and de-brief is very much part of this process.  I am always struck by the beauty of someone who is so thoroughly cracked open in submission… the trust in me to guide them safetly through this torment…

Slave’s primary intention for the session was not to get horny. It was to submit. Horny feelings may or may not be part of that. What he needed was to truly believe he was not in control anymore and to let his ego go in surrender so he could fly. 

My role is to take on all the ego so he can be free of his…  There is great pleasure in power tripping… Win/win really.  Ironically we end up in the same place… He gets there through the back door while I get there through the front.  There is magic in the intimacy of Domination and submission. 

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyABOUT THE AUTHOR: Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Domme and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness.  She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevent to their personal journey.  She loves to explore pleasure, the Mysteries of Existence and just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.   She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.  She is at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

If the link between BDSM and shadow work intrigues you, you may be interested in reading this blog on Conscious Kink and Humiliation Play.

Another play scene story that may intrigue you: BDSM as Theatre of the Soul: An erotic tale of Sadistic Degradation

And A tale of public Humiliation
A
nd Dear Diary, Today I made my slave…

Website: www.consciouskink.com
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Nov 012014
 

 

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyAs I shoved his face into my toilet and began to secure his head in place with plastic wrap he gagged a little and began to resist.   I grabbed a tuft of his sandy hair and pushed him back into position.  His naked knees scrambled on the shiny white tiles, hands struggling against leather restraints behind his back.  With no way to balance himself he was easy to push around.   He was forced to comply.

“I thought you said I could do whatever I liked to you slave? Are you taking back your promises so soon?”

“No Mistress,  I’ll try harder Mistress,”

“Yes you will… but soon you won’t exactly have much choice in the matter,”  I smiled to myself as a rush of sadistic pleasure coursed through my body.  I love this game.

I tugged on the collar around his neck,  slipping cold metal chains through the loops with an echoing clatter and then wrapping them around the toilet.  I soon had him chained to the cistern, padlocked in place, face squarely over the toilet bowl.  I slipped the key into my cleavage for safe keeping.

“Now you will really have to impress me to be let free slave, and I am going to test your resolve,”  I told him in a calm, slightly amused tone.

“Yes Mistress,”  he replied, his voice betraying his nervousness.

I shoved his face further into the toilet and resumed plastic-wrapping his head in place.   I could feel the power rush coming on, slowing everything down…  making me feel so alive… the throbbing in my veins became connected to the beat of all Life.  The sound of plastic being unrolled, became amplified, squeaking and straining as I stretched it up over the back of his head and down around the toilet bowl… passing it through underneath and back up around again…  round and round until he was unable to move his head at all.

I stood back, wiped the hint of moisture from my brow and admired my handy work, catching a glimpse of satisfaction on my face in the bathroom mirror.  I turned and stared at myself as I stood over my little silk worm snug in his perverted cocoon.

Mistress Artemisia de Vine crop logoMy womanly shape was highlighted by an elegant sheer slip while black fake fur draped my shoulders highlighting my excessive bosom.  The soft curves of my breasts swept down to a tightly corseted waist and widened again considerably to frame voluptuous hips and thighs.  I reached up and twisted the pearls around my neck fascinated by the way my wild blonde curls made me look so deceptively innocent.

I just adored the juxtaposition of such lady-like femininity against the flushed with raw power and cruelty on my face.   I was no mere girl, posing with a whip and looking pretty to tantalize men’s gaze.  My reflection showed a mature kind of attractiveness that can only come from those who have explored themselves… from those that carry an inner knowingness and calm confidence.   My beauty doesn’t come from picture-perfect features,  it comes from being a fully fledged woman in her power.

My attention returned to my slave.  A familiar visage.  Yet another powerful corporate man, naked and bent over in the perfect position to leave him feeling exposed and degraded.  His bottom poked out in easy swiping distance and his s0-called manhood, his cock and balls, dangled nice and vulnerable for me to reach should I so choose.  The way he was fastened there left no way for him to protect them from me…  and he was rock hard.  He was loving this even as he experience a myriad of challenging emotions.

This is what they don’t understand, I thought to myself.  Those sweet eyed, well-meaning, yoga folk and their conscious living.  They are all meditation and green juice but they do not understand that in order to really be whole, we have to own all of ourselves, dark twisted bits as well as the love and light.

Owning our shadow and creating a conscious relationship with it, is part of the spiritual path.   The dark side is in us… always there…  snarling in the depths… hidden in the corners of our hearts and minds…  We are All Things, us mad humans… We are consciousness in an animal body capable of every kind of horror and wonder under the sun…

The more we deny it by trying to control it or suppress it, the more is pops out in other areas of our lives…  and the more it controls us, taking the steering wheel from deep within our unconscious and creating havoc in unexpected areas of our lives. The dark-side butterfly effect.

Owning this aspect of me is what makes me whole.  BDSM is theatre of the soul where we live out all our archetypes… all of them get voice… With consent and awareness this kind of lust, cruelty and power play can lead us Home to ourselves.  Being filthy is the holiest thing I know how to do.

Without warning I stabbed air holes through the plastic with a skewer, sharp metal piercing jagged fissures right near his vulnerable face… him unable to move out of the way.  He could surrender and trust or remain in fear.

He jumped and strained but could not escape… he hadn’t let go yet… He was still holding onto control… to the illusion that he had an impact on the outcome of our play.  The blood pumping through his jugular veins pulsed at a rapid rate…  His breath was sharp and shallow in his chest fogging up the plastic-wrap… Adrenalin.

I let him brew for a while, anticipating what would happen next while I prepared the next part of our little game.  No doubt he could hear me opening draws, scraping metal implements against the bench top…

As I got out the ginger root I had been brewing in the fridge and began carving it into a suitable shape, I could feel the animal in my body mirroring my slave’s rush.   The smell of his fear mingled with the fiery pungency of ginger juice set off the cat-like sadist in me.  A primal urge within just wanted to toy with him… degrade and humiliate him… peeling away the masks of his ego and his resistance until the core of him was exposed…  This lawyer, used to being in control… stuck in his head justifying his existence through logic and rhetoric… denying and suppressing his emotions… his feelings… his instincts… yes, this lawyer was to be broken down.

My role was to bring him face to face with all of that, dragging him squirming and screaming to stare his vulnerability in the eye…  To shatter the illusion of order and control…   Initiate him into his very fear of helplessness, and ultimately, into facing his own inevitable Death… where he could finally surrender to the peace of the void beyond.  Freedom.  Home.

But he is not on this journey alone.  I may be acting as his guide but I am on a journey of my own.  There is pleasure seeing him stripped of his dignity.   There is pleasure in cruelty and in feeling powerful… In playing God.  When engaged with through conscious exchange of power like this, it can lead me Home too.

The game is this.  I strip his ego down until he submits and surrenders remembering who he really is under all the constructs while at the same time I build my own ego up until it is a fiery supernova, exploding and setting me free to be my core, authentic self.   We are both heading to the same destination… him through the front door and me through the back.

Mistress high heelsHe could no doubt hear my slow deliberate steps as my stiletto heels clicked ominously on the tiles, signalling my approach.  His body tensed, every sense alert.

I began speaking to him in a soothing, hypnotic, lullaby tone while I traced one finger down his spine… down the small of his back…  slipping between his buttocks… and circling the ring of his anus.  My voice and sensual touch a contradiction to my words…

“Now darling slave, I am going to make you suffer for my pleasure.  There is no escape from this so you may as well accept your fate.  I enjoy seeing you squirm, hearing you beg and knowing you are doing this in service to Me.  There is nowhere to go… no where to be… there is only Me.  I am your entire world… your entire Universe… until I choose to let you go.  Nothing else exists but your submission to Me and whatever I choose to inflict upon you.  Do you understand?”

He swallowed, sweat breaking out and glistening on the little blonde hairs on the back of his neck even as he leaned into the pleasure of my touch.

“Yes Mistress”

“Good boy”

I continued the hum of soothing sadistic lyrics, all the while massaging and opening his anal sphincters in preparation for my next little game.  I took my sweet time, allowing his hunger to be penetrated to grow.   I could feel myself entering ‘the zone’ in connection to him.  My words dripping like poisonous honey from my tongue, curling like incense smoke through the air… slipping into his ears and wrapping around his mind…  The wildness of the forest… both Mother and Destroyer entering his body…  The more he unfolded and floated, the more we became in synch…  My breath matching his…

The world disappeared and time became an irrelevant concept.  There was only us in this moment.

He began moaning in need, leaning into my finger in an attempt to get me to enter him.

“You like that don’t you little slave?  I think you want something from me don’t you?”

No words, just moaning…

“Oh you don’t want anything from me?  I guess this is all you will get then,”  I teased.

I pressed against his hole with pleasurable little pulses and waited while he worked through his confusion about how he was supposed to act.

“Yes Mistress, I do, but I am your slave to do with as You will.”

“I like it when you beg like the horny little slut you are, slave”.  I could feel his hope rising… his anticipation of being filled and fucked warring with his embarrassment at being made to speak his desires out loud.

“Is there something you would like from me slave?”  I asked again.

He leaned into me in an attempt to get out of saying the words, trying to show me what he wanted with his body rather than suffering the humiliation of begging.

I stopped all stimulation and stepped back, leaving him bereft of my touch.

“I will only ask you one more time, and if I do not hear what I want to hear then you will miss our entirely.  Now, is there something you want from me slave?”

“Yes Mistress, please fuck me Mistress”.

“Oh you want me to fuck you do you?,” I mocked, as I leaned back in and began to seduce his arse hole again.

“Yes Mistress”

“Well then you had better beg for it my pretty boy.  I do so enjoy seeing a powerful man on his hands and knees, face in the toilet, begging to be sodomised.  Please do entertain me before I get bored and wander off.”

“Please fuck me Mistress, please fuck me up the arse,”  he said, embarrassment and resistance making his voice faint.

“Louder please.  And tell me what a little whore you are.  How you will do anything to please me.”

“I am your little whore, Mistress! Please fuck me up the arse!  I will do anything you say Mistress, please just fuck me!”  he said with more conviction this time.

“Now we are getting somewhere, but I am not convinced yet.  I also want warn you that should I grant you this wish, there will be a price.  There is always a price.  Are you willing to pay it?”

“Yes Mistress!”  he was starting to sound more urgent, “Yes I will do anything you say, I am your little slut, your play thing.  Please degrade me, use me, do as you please to me!  I am yours Mistress.  Please fuck me!”

ginger butt plug, figgingWith a satisfied smirk I slipped the head of the newly carved ginger butt plug  into the opening of his hole and began easing it into him.  The effects of ginger take a while to kick in so at first he just writhed in pleasure, opening himself to me.

“Take a deep breath, then breathe all the way out and push down as though you are trying to push the toy out,” I instructed.  As he obeyed, I felt his sphincters relax and I slipped the rest of the ginger in.  The wide base held it firmly in place so it didn’t disappear altogether. I generously thrust it in and out stimulating his prostate and coating every sensitive area with fresh ginger juice.   He bucked with pleasure… to start with…

Then the burning began…

He became confused as his pleasure turned to intensity.

“Mistress!  It burns!  What is it Mistress?”

“What is it?  It is what I want it to be,”  I replied amused.

He began to writhe with a different kind of urgency now as he struggled to process this new experience.   I strapped the butt plug in place with rope and cleverly positioned knots, stood back, folded my arms and watched.  I was purring like the pussy who got the cream.  I do so love to watch a man struggle until he realises the full extent of his helplessness.

The burning built steadily in strength and with each passing minute his begging for me to remove the ginger increased.  He wriggled and strained against his restraints to no avail.

“Oh does that burn does it slave?”  I asked in mock innocence,  “I did tell you there would be a price didn’t I?  You thought it was all about your pleasure didn’t you slave.  Did you think because you paid a tribute for this session, I was here to get you off?  Actually, you are here to entertain Me.”

The more I mocked the harder his cock became, even as he suffered.  More importantly, his normal mind-state had shifted.  He was no longer dominated by the logical, ‘talking self’ part of his consciousness.  He was drifting into a different place within.

“Yes Mistress, I am Yours to do with as you please,”  he squeaked.

I reached down and pinched his nipple, hard, knowing that he would clench in sudden pain, squeezing more ginger juice out and setting off another level of burning.  I followed this sensation with a mixture of pleasurable cock sensations and volley of hard slaps against his buttocks.   Pleasure, pain, pause….

He grunted, his bottom blossomed with red hand prints and an endorphin rush kicked in moments later.   He was getting close now, I could feel it… close to the edge… he just needed a little shove and he would drop, deep, down into subspace and fly… and I would be right there with him, feeding off his reactions and riding high with my own twisted Top space.

“Oh poor slave, you are burning up.  Would you like me to cool you down?”

I didn’t wait for an answer.   I straddled his head, one leg over each side, my thighs pressing against his ears.

“Tell me again how you are just a thing to be used for my entertainment slave.  Tell me again how you are nothing but a fuck toy.  An object.  Owned body, mind and soul.

“Yes Mistress he cried out, inhibitions abandoned now, “I am everything you say.  I am Yours entirely!”

With that, I reached down, slipped my knickers to one side and spread my pussy lips wide open.  I felt the tingles of rushing energy through my body as the urge to urinate built until I could hold it not longer.  I began to relieve myself on his head…  As I let go of my very full bladder, another, more difficult to define, dam broke within me and I snarled with the pleasure of it. I was all powerful Goddess, marking My territory.  Piss splattered on the plastic wrap, forming yellow pools of urine…  and then showered steadily down through the carefully positioned air holes… pungent streams of piss trickling down his face, drenching him thoroughly…  Wayward rivulets entering the corners of his mouth which he licked at greedily, fully in his animal self now…

That was the trigger we both needed.  I felt his whole energy shift.  He just dropped in utter surrender with me riding his back all the way Home.  A moment of living awareness… of being all that is left when the social scripts and ego illusions are torn away…   Just being pure consciousness flying together in ecstasy.

This was not where we engaged in sexual climax to end the scene… This was just the launching pad…  Just the beginning of our play…

Mistress Artemisia de Vine Sydney Pro Domme AzureAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Domme and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness.  She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevent to their personal journey.  She loves to explore pleasure, the Mysteries of Existence and just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.   She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.  She is at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

If the link between BDSM and shadow work intrigues you, you may be interested in reading this blog on Conscious Kink and Humiliation Play. 

Website: www.consciouskink.com
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Sep 272014
 

Professional Disciplinarian SydneyPart Two of a spanking story based on a real domestic discipline and corporal punishment role plays I do with some of my clients.  The basic premise of the script is their idea.  They choose to play the errant husband who wants to be punished by their sister-in-law for taking their wife for granted…. Or very similar variations on the same theme…  Contains adult themes, over-the-knee (OTK) bare bottom hand spanking, caning, corner time, behavior correction, humiliation, coercion, sexism and forced cross-dressing.  


Start with PART ONE here: bare bottomed, OTK, hand spanking…

‘Bend over and place your palms flat in front of you Paul,‘  I said pointing to the solidly constructed wooden table.

He appeared to steal himself for what he knew was coming next but to his credit his did not protest.  Perhaps he thought it best to get it over with.  He laid himself over the table, red spanked bottom poking out from under his business shirt and splayed his fingers out in front of him.

I rummaged around in the draw for a moment watching with amusement as Paul’s head cocked to the side trying to work out what I was doing.  He didn’t dare turn around to look.

Eventually I found what I was looking for and hummed to myself as I walked slowly up behind him, black heels clicking ominously on the tiles.  I bent down close so he could feel the warmth of my breath against his ear as I quietly but firmly explained what was going to happen next.

‘See these marbles?’ I asked holding two large, multi-coloured class orbs in front of his face.

‘Yes.’

‘Yes who?‘

‘Yes Ma’am,‘  He quickly corrected himself.

‘That’s better.  I am going to place these on the backs of your fingers,’ I said following through as I spoke, ‘They need to stay there without rolling off while you receive your discipline.  Each time they roll off we will add another cane stroke to your set.  You currently have two sets of 6 to get through.  Do you understand?’

‘Yes Ma’am‘  he said dismayed.

‘Good boy’.

I stood back up and slowly walked around the table and picked up the junior cane.  “We will start with the lighter of the two since this is your first time”, I said bending the flexible rattan for dramatic effect.

I walked back out of his line of sight, each step deliberate and pronounced in the kitchen acoustics.

‘This is going to hurt.  A lot.  You are going to take it like a man because you know you deserve it and you want your wife back.  This is your penance,’ I stated with no room for argument.  ‘How well you do will have a direct effect on what I choose to tell Clara and you know my influence with her is strong’.

I paused to let that sink in.

‘Between each stroke you will breath all the way out and then when you have gained your composure, you will count the stroke and thank me for taking the time to correct your behavior.  You will say, “One thank you Ma’am, Two thank you Ma’am” and so forth.   Is that clear?

‘Yes Ma’am’, replied Paul with no hesitation this time.

‘Good because if you lose count or forget to thank me, we will begin that set again’.

Paul shifted his weight slightly but did not comment.

I lifted Paul’s shirt out of the way and folded it neatly back exposing him fully.  His bare bottom was swollen and red but as yet unmarked in any way that would last more than a few hours.  It was time to correct this.

‘We tend to remember the lessons that are seared into our flesh Paul”, I said  finding my stance and getting the measure of my swing.  I tapped the cane lightly across both cheeks.
Then taking my time, I drew back and sliced through the air with a perfectly placed stroke.   vivid red welt blossoming across his bottom.

Paul’s sharp intake of breath made it clear he felt it.  Every inch of it.  He let his breath out hard and adjusted himself slightly but the marbles stayed balanced on the back of his hands.

“One thank you Ma’am,”  he said with stiff control that clearly took an effort.

I tapped to take aim again and then whoosh, the cane whipped through the air and landed half an inch below the first welt.

“Phewwww,”  he breathed but did not falter.  “Two thank you Ma’am”.
A third, then a fourth stroke biting into his skin and the already tender flesh beneath.  I could see him wincing and clenching his jaw but his hands remained perfectly still.

I laid out two more strokes with artistic precision.  ‘Five thank you Ma’am’  then ‘Six thank you Ma’am’, he managed to make it through the first round.

‘Good boy Paul.  I can see I am starting to get through to you.  Now tell me about what you have thought about.  How are you going to be proactive in making changes dramatic enough to make you worthy of my sister?’

He cleared his throat and offered, ‘I will definitely help more around the house’.

‘Help you say? To say you are helping implies that housework is your wife’s responsibility and you are assisting her in her duties.  That isn’t good enough.  I need you to understand that housework is as much your responsibility as it is hers.  Do you understand?’

‘Right yes, of course, you are right,’ he said hurriedly, realising his mistake too late.

I walked around the table and placed the junior cane down only to replace it with the senior cane.  Let’s mark this new resolution into your flesh with this, the most painful punishment you have received yet,’  I said, completely devoid of emotion. ‘Time you will thank me exactly as before after each stroke but you will also ask for another stroke to show me you are serious about mending your ways.

I found my stance and practiced my aim again while reminding Paul, ‘This stroke is to remind you that until I say otherwise, it is in fact now your duty to ensure the housework is done.  This is to make up for all the years you have taken Clara for granted, you will now take the role she used to take and if you are lucky she may “help” you every now and then.  Just like you used to “help” her.’

Without waiting for him to agree I pulled back my arm and laid a hard fast stroke right across his bottom.  This time, he couldn’t keep silent.  A jagged moan involuntarily escaped his lips and the marbles wobbled dangerously on the backs of his fingers.

It took him several moments before he gathered himself enough to say, ‘One thank you Ma’am, may I please have another?’

I smiled to myself.  Now my methods were really starting to take effect.  ‘Good.  Let’s see what else you have learned.  What else are you going to do to change your behavior?  Make it good.‘

‘Er… I will be more grateful, especially for Clara’s cooking’.

‘Yes you will, and in order to really value the effort put into cooking, you will now cook as often as you expected Clara to for the foreseeable future.  You will even make a special effort to learn great recipes for her favorite dishes and slave away for hours to lay on three course meals for her and her friends to help her socially network.  You can do this on top of your full time job just like Clara used to do for you.  Do you understand?’.

‘Yes Ma’am!‘ he replied unwilling to argue.

‘I will visit unannounced to spot check you cooking is up to scratch’.

The cane whistled through the air and sliced into his bottom with vicious precision.  His body shuddered  under the impact and he eventually whimpered, ‘Two thank you Ma’am! may I please have another?’

‘Good.  Now what else have you learned?’

‘That I mustn’t demand intimate relations‘ he replied.

‘Correct.  After working all day in an office, coming home and doing the cooking and the housework while you rested with your feet up, the last thing a wife wants is intimate relations.  As part of making yourself worthy of Clara you will be signing up to learn the art of female arousal from a practitioner of the erotic arts and you will attend tantra classes together so you can learn how to truly pleasure a woman.  Not just pleasure, but connect to her, because funnily enough, it is not just about you.  May this cane stroke imprint that deeply on your flesh, ‘ I said as I took aim and delivered my hardest stroke yet.

Paul squirmed and let out a cry.  There was a rolling sound and a loud clunk as both marbles fell off his fingers, rolled across the table and skitted onto the tiles with an echoing clatter.  Instead of staying firmly on the table as requested, both his hands were now rubbing his bottom furiously.
‘Forgotten your instructions already I see,‘ I said calmly, hiding my amusement, ‘Both marbles on the floor! Looks like we will have to add two cane strokes to your total for this set, bringing it up to 8.  Six is the traditional number of course.  Just be grateful I am only adding two strokes and not adding two extra sets of six to keep things neat and tidy’.

Paul groaned.  ‘I can’t!’ he said.

‘Well you can stop at any point of course I reminded him, ‘but it would be a shame since you have come so far.  Five more strokes and you will be finished and my sister will consider taking you back.‘

There was silence as he considered this.

‘‘Pick up the marbles Paul,‘ I said with deathly calm.

He looked at me with concern in his eyes but immediately dropped to his knees to search for the glass spheres.  I just watched and waited, arms folded.

Eventually he found them and presented them to me.

This time he bent over the table without being asked.  I replaced the marbles on the backs of his fingers, leaning in close, brushing against him.
‘What else have you learned Paul?’

He was straining to come up with anything now.  His distress was a playing across the theatre of his face.

‘May I suggest that perhaps this cane stroke could remind you not be so consumed with yourself and your work but also make Clara a priority in your life?’

‘Yes, yes of course!‘  he agreed, relieved to be given a clue. ‘I will pay her much more attention and listen to her feelings and all that,‘  he said guessing at what was required of him.

‘Something like that,‘ I replied amused.  ‘You will no longer only think about how Clara plays the support role to your dreams and passions but will actively play the support role to hers.  That means attending her work functions and listening to the things that are important to her.  It also means arranging to take Clara out to the kinds of entertainment she enjoys.  You will be the perfect opera date for her without a hint that you are bored or disinterested.  Is that clear?’

‘Yes Ma’am,‘ he gulped.

I took aim and delivered the next two strokes in quick succession, cruelly on the same spot.  This was a new level of pain for Paul and he reeled but did not slump for shear terror at the prospect of losing the marbles and having more strokes added to his sentence.

“Four and five thank you Ma’am! May I please have another?’

‘Good I thought to myself.  He really must care for my sister after all to endure this to be given a chance to get back together with her.  At his core he wasn’t a bad man.  He was just spoilt.  Luckily for him there is a cure for spoilt.

‘Repeat after me Paul, “Clara deserves to be treated like the Goddess she is!”

Without hesitation he repeated my words back to me and judging by the tremble in his voice, he actually meant it.

‘Good man,’ I said rewarding him by no longer calling him a ‘boy’ in acknowledgement he was now beginning to behave like an adult.

The last three strokes were no less severe but I no longer tormented him with penance.  I delivered smarting blow one after the other giving him just enough time to gasp and thank me.  Six, seven and finally with a solid crack eight.

He let out sob before he could gather himself.  I nodded to myself in satisfaction.  I had made an impression.  Paul’s re-wiring was under way.

I removed marbles from hands and he sat down with a thump only to spring straight back up again when he realised how sore his bottom was.   He attempted to hide the fact that there were tears in his eyes, and discretely blew his nose into a tissue.  I didn’t say a word until he finished and stood uncertainly waiting to be instructed.

‘Paul, I am going to call Clara and have her pick you up.  In the meantime I want to you to put your trousers back on and stand in corner and wait for her to arrive.  I suggest you use that time to think up the very best apology you can muster’.

He looked miserable but bent down to retrieve his underwear obediently.

‘No not those underwear Paul,‘ I said confiscating his cotton briefs, ‘These ones’.  I held up a pair of pink lacy panties.  You will wear nothing but lady’s knickers until you learn to respect femininity.  You will wear them to work under your expensive suits and you will wear them at home as you do the housework.  They will serve as a reminder to self-correct your behavior as out go about your business.’

Paul’s eyes widened in disbelief at this indignity.  He stood there for a moment then reached over and picked up the lingerie I offered him fir thumb and forefinger as though they would burn him.  His face burned with embarrassment and his jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth but he dared not utter a protest.  He slowly bent down and slipped the offending hot pink panties on, pulling them up over his smarting bottom, dressed himself agin in his neat pinstripe trousers and belt and placed himself in the corner.

The image of him standing there, nose to the wall, waiting patiently was the image of an entirely new Paul.  His re-programming was well under way.
***
A week later I spoke to Clara on the phone.  ‘How are things going with Paul?‘ I asked.

‘Amazing! gushed Clara.  ‘I don’t know what you did to him but it has been all flowers, attentiveness ever since he came back from your place.  He cooks *and* does the dishes!  There have been a few small slip ups where he drifted back into his habitual ways but all I had to do was mention that perhaps he needed some more sister-in-law therapy and he pulled himself into line quick smart!  Just goes to show that your unconventional methods really work.’

Professional Disciplinarian SydneyAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based professional disciplinarian pasionate about all things spanking, domestic discipline and corporal punishment.  She is a true switch and plays the role of both Spanker and Spankee.  She specialises in traditional domestic scenes, from the playful to the intense including behavior correction, role play and ecstatic spanking sessions.  See more here…

Jul 052014
 

Mistress corporate logoHello Ms de Vine,

I just wanted to reiterate how amazing it was and how much I got out of it. The fact that you listened to what I was after and then incorporated it seamlessly into an incredible session, where all the way through the session it really felt like we were in the role play scenario that had been created. I said that the what I was really into was the overlap between submission, pain and sexuality and the session certainly hit that sweet spot (as I suspect you could tell from the mind-blowing orgasm I had at the end!) while also really pushing my boundaries. I’m already thinking about our next session and where I might ask you to push my boundaries a bit further!

Below I’ve put down some more of my thoughts regarding the session. Feel free to use any or all of it (and any of this email) on your blog/website as long as you keep me totally anonymous.

Here is how Anonymous described what actually happened in session

“I made sure I turned up right on time (not early or late) for my 2 hour session with Ms De Vine. Although I was a little nervous she immediately put me at ease with her welcome and a soothing cup of tea with our pre-session chat. I had already talked to Ms De Vine regarding what I was after but the pre-chat went into much further detail and Ms De Vine really digged down into what I was after to ensure that the session was as amazing as possible. I had indicated my likes and dislikes and said to Ms De Vine that my overarching interest was a role play session where we explored the overlap between submission, pain and sexuality.

knickersAfter a quick shower I re-entered the play space (naked naturally) and, as a naughty nephew, started to examine some lingerie that my Auntie has left out. After a couple of minutes she came in and asked what the hell I was doing. Her eyes were immediately drawn to my small cock, which she left me in no doubt was inadequate. I was given two choices, be exposed as a pervert with a tiny dick or take the punishment that my auntie had devised. Naturally I chose to be punished.

Auntie immediately informed my that as I had a small clitty rather than a penis I should be dressed not as a boy but as the girl I was such and was made to put on a pair of Aunties girly panties. They didn’t stay up for very long though as Auntie put me across her knee and gave me a hard spanking. Once my bum was nice and red she led me over to the bench where I was given a further hard spanking with the paddle and strap.

Auntie then led me back to her couch and told me to stand in front of her with my hand on my heads while she tied up my cock and balls. This took some time as Auntie had some trouble due to the smallness of my penis. Auntie of course managed to succeed and then gave my clit and balls the whipping that they deserved. It stung let me tell you leading me to drop my hands a couple of times and incur a further punishment later on. As Auntie had identified my clitty was never going to satisfy a women she generously offered to instruct me in the worship and pleasure of a women using my tongue. I tried my best, but naturally I was not up to the task and so Auntie punished my balls (hard)  further on several occasions with her foot (ball busting). Eventually she told me to stop my inadequate efforts and told me it was time for further punishment.

Mistress high heelsAfter some further cock and ball torture, Auntie told me to lie down on the bench and start playing with my clitty. The fact I only needed to use two fingers to pleasure myself caused Auntie a lot of amusement. Just as I was starting to feel good Auntie started to cane my penis, drawing me close to orgasm several times before bringing the cane down on my cock.

Eventually she took mercy on me and said I could orgasm as long as I begged enough for it. I begged hard let me tell you! Begging Auntie to keep rubbing my little clitty until I could cum. At one point she stopped right on the edge and I thought she was going to stop but after some further begging she kindly allowed me to cum (and have a mind-blowing orgasm). After disgustingly wiping away the cum she told me if she caught me playing with her underwear again the punishment would be twice as bad.

Overall this was a mind-blowing session. Ms De Vine really created a role play environment that I believed I was in all the way throughout. She listened to what I was after and incorporated it into the session (especially the overlap between submission, pain and sexuality) while pushing my boundaries in several areas (beyond even what I had thought possible) and because we had a good understanding of where our interests overlapped I really felt that Ms De Vine was as into the session as I was. In addition she took the time after the session was over to ensure I was ready to re-nter the real world! I will be booking another session soon!”

Jun 082014
 

 

man suit spanking caning scene 1Sneak peek into a real life scene with professional spanking and discipline switch and spankee Artemisia de Vine.  Normally she dishes out the cane strokes but this time the tables are turned and she has to submit…

Bent over in this position, I could peer through my plump thighs and see his shiny black shoes peeking out from the hem of his impeccably pressed trousers… a part of his three-piece suit.   I could also see the cane he held firmly in his hand.  I felt a surge of fear and excitement.

artemisia sydney spankee bottom cane logoI had been elegantly dressed for an evening out but instead I now found myself in a very compromising position.  I was bent over the table with my dress hiked up to my waist exposing my panties.   The tastefully seductive ones I save for special occasions that match my stay up stockings.

He stood there silent, letting me feel the moment.  My heart racing and my cheeks red with the embarrassment at being treated in such a humiliating way.  I felt indignant but part of me was reluctantly thrilled.  Spinning on such a cocktail of warring emotions I felt so alive…  Every moment a sip of eternity… My full being alert and wondering what would happen next.

After what seemed an age, he leaned down over me.  I could feel his masculine body pressing against mine…The crispness of his suit against my skin…  his breath against my neck.

“I want you to be a good girl and hold that position while I spank your bottom until its very sore and red,”  he whispered, every word quietly authoritative and deliberate.  “Then I am going to cane you.  You cannot get out of the cane.  Those searing welts will bite into your flesh.  However, how many strokes you get depends on how well you take my spanking, do you understand?”

I gulped, knowing I was about to experience pain.  Fear and embarrassment surged through me but also a desire to please him.  To take it well.  Just because he wanted me to…

“Do you understand?” he repeated sternly.

I forced the words out my throat,  “Yess, yes Sir”.

******

Snippet from a real life switch, spanking and discipline play scene where the tables were turned and I had to submit to what I normally dish out…   What would you do in his situation?  What would you do in mine?

If this sort of play appeals to you read about sessions available here…  

I know, I know, that was a terrible tease wasn’t it!  Here is a full domesstic discipline spanking and caning story I wrote about Paul who is punished by his sister in law for taking his wife for granted.

Jun 052014
 

dominatrix strap on 1Anal play and, in particular, pegging, is such a popular session!  After all it is one of the best ways to access the male G spot.  Who would want to miss out on that?

Over the years working as a professional dominatrix I’ve become experienced in anal play on men from finger to fist and everything in between.  There are many ways in which to approach anal play.  However, it is not just the toys we use or which anal techniques we’ve learnt but also the attitude with which we approach a play scene that makes the experience full of fireworks.

CDR457840 digital rectal examEach of us has unique erotic wiring, so it is important to go about pegging in a way that taps into your core erotic themes.  It’s no good being all sensual if you are turned on by the idea of being ravished and taken by a dominant woman… Likewise, it is no good being ordered into a degrading position if you are the type who needs seductive coaxing…  Is being pegged a reward or punishment for you?  A sensual connection or a degrading sex act?   Is it a power game or  the expression of equal lovers?  One person’s turn on is another’s trauma so it is an important part of the consent process to discuss this before you play.

To help you ask for what it is you really crave, I have put together some of the more popular scenarios that get my boys excited to bend over for me.  It’s far from an exhaustive list but covers some of the main fantasy  and play styles.  Which one are you?  Are you a combination of several of these?  What key themes do you  need in order for pegging to work for you?

beginner strap onAdded Spice with all Things Nice:

Key themes: Added Sensation, experimentation, Curiosity

This style is for those who are new to exploring anal play and pegging.   This type of player usually does not want to make pegging the entire focus of the session but treat it like an added spice to their main meal to give it a bit of kick.  These types tend to be more sexual rather than BDSM-focused.

Works well with:  Single digit Prostate massage, small training dildo or vibrator, sex

tantra dildoSensual Surrender:

Key Themes: Intimacy, Connection, Sensuality, Opening, Surrender, Ecstasy, Erotic Trance

Not everyone who likes to receive the attentions of my strap on is into being dominated or degraded.  (For those that do like it dirty or all about power and control, scroll on down. Your type is here too).  Anal play can be a deeply sensual, profoundly receptive experience.  To have someone enter your body with fingers or toys is to surrender and open in a way that is hard to describe.  People into this style of pegging often respond well to a full body sensual seduction first to help drop them down into a floaty aroused state.  An extended external anal massage and teasing session helps relax and arouse… preparing the body for penetration.

When its time to begin, we start gently with a single finger, loosening the anal sphincter muscles.  Pegging is never forced.  We wait until the anus invites my dildo in.  We synch rhythms through music and by tuning into what their body is ready for.   Staying deeply relaxed can make way for male G spot orgasms.  For sensual peggers, it’s about taking the time to truly sink into and open to the experience.   There are two main sub categories amongst the Sensual Surrender Types.

intimacy strap on sex2Sensual Intimacy Types:  It is important to note that some of the Sensual Surrender types will be seeking intimacy and connection while others are going into a sort of erotic trance inside themselves.   Those that seek intimacy usually seek eye contact and often enjoy being placed on their back with their legs in the air and being “made love to”.    Supportive leg harnesses and slings can help them relax their legs and therefore anal sphincters while holding this position.

My lovers bottomSensual Erotic Trance Types: are those who like to close their eyes and become completely overwhelmed by the sensations.  They go somewhere inside themselves. For trance types the play style is about facilitating surrender much like a massage therapist.  This kind of experience is about being embodied  and it helps if they feel held and supported so they can let go and submerge themselves in the experience.   This allows the trust needed for them to drop down deep.  It can be quite distracting to try to use intimacy or fantasy when they are in this state.  It can snap them right out of the embodied erotic bliss.   It always pays to negotiate what your intention is for the play session so you are not pulling in different directions.

Works well with: a full body massage, sensation play, feathers, silk scarves, blindfolds, essential oils, tantric breathing and trance techniques, sex slings, supportive foot/leg harnesses.

dominatrix strap on 2Dominatrix Dick:

Key themes: Domination, Control, Fear, Intimidation, Submission, Sadism, Masochism

For some pegging is about being dominated.  The thought of a woman with an intimidating strap-on standing over them, ordering them to bend over and spread their butt cheeks gets them immediately hard…  Or teetering on subspace…  For some this style of play is about being sexually turned on and for others it is purely an act of submission.  It’s very important to communicate which of these you are.  The more information you give your Domme about how you are wired, the more fun she can have manipulating you in ways that suit her…  And this type of session is all about what She wants…

These types often respond well to waiting on their hands and knees, ready to obey their Domme’s every word.    The scene here is about having their boundaries pushed and offering up their vulnerable asshole to please their Mistress.  She makes them take more than they thought possible.  Being a little (or a lot!) afraid of what she will do next is big part of it.  Anal play may be seen as a punishment or a reward in these play scenes. Those into Dominatrix Dick often respond well to being called “slave”. Use safe words in this role play to stop the scene if necessary.

Works well with: Bondage, Punishment, Intense Sensation Play, Fisting, Footing, Butt plugs, Enemas, Prostate milking, Figging, Electric Play, Proctoscopes, Anal hooks.

strap on big blackRavished  Rear End:

Key Themes:  Being Desired,  Taken, Overpowered

For some pegging is about being ravished and taken.  It feels good to be the object of desire and see the urgent need in your lover’s eyes.  It can feel great to be the one being “done to” rather than the one “doing” for a change.  While in real life, no one wants to be raped, it is a very popular role play fantasy to be “forced” to receive the very pleasure we secretly want.   This can take the form of being “forced”  to be penetrated with primal lust.  Perhaps they are made helpless with bondage or perhaps mind games allowing  that psychologically dominate  them to allow themselves to be used for someone else’s animalistic pleasure.

It is important to consent to this in a clear discussion beforehand and to utilise safe words should you need to stop the scene.  A safe word is a word used to stop all activity and check in to see what is wrong.  Safe words are vital in this situation because the person being ravished may want to role play protesting by saying “No, please don’t do it to me!”  and “But you are so big! I’m so scared”  or various other forms of protests.  If you have a safe word,  the ravishing can proceed with the creative gusto and all involved can sink right into the role play without fear they are actually causing harm.

Works well with: Restraint, Mixture of Rough and Sensual play, Erotic Play, Head fucking.

strap on harness 6Reluctantly Naughty:

Key Themes: Naughtiness, Dirtiness, Seduction, Forbidden Fruit, Manipulation, Submission, Coaxing, Nurturing, Control

These players enjoy the fact that anal play is still considered taboo and dirty.  They enjoy the feeling of  “wrongness”  and of  being coaxed and seduced into doing something wicked.   Some like to protest and play innocent but have someone else tease and coax them into giving up their vulnerable hole to be penetrated.   It is a form of submission and control through a mixture of authority and seduction.  Again safe words are a very good idea so you know when the reluctance is play acting and when it is real.

Works well with: Role Play, Age play, Teacher/school student, Boss/employee, Baby sitter/teenaged boy, Hot neighbor caught you peeping through her window and has decided to have her way with you or she’ll dob you in… You get the idea…

squirting strap onSlutty Toy :

Key Themes: Degradation, Being Used, Humiliation, Objectification, Domination and Submission

This style is for those who are turned on by feeling erotically used and degraded.   Picture all the stereotypes of the slut or the whore being used for another’s pleasure.  Of course I am far too sex-positive to really believe those stereotypes but it can be hot to tap into that archetype in role play.   Slutty toys often like being on their hands and knees being trained to deep throat and having their holes stretched by dildo after dildo in by ever increasing size.  These types can enjoy being trained to take whatever Mistress pleases in whatever way she likes.  Some times this can include either fantasising about or actually getting extra people of various genders to join in the fun.

Works well with:  Gang Bangs, Slut training, Exhibitionism, Forced Bi scenarios, Glory Holes, Butt plugs, Spit Roasting

sissy slut strap onThe Sissy Slut

Key Themes: Gender fucking, Being Desired, Feminine, Submissive, Degradation, Feeling Exposed, Vulnerability, Used, Objectification

This is for those who enjoy playing with gender.  It is very common to draw on traditional (and out-dated) ideas about what makes someone masculine and feminine  and swap them around.  Again, I do not believe these stereotypes are how we really are but they are nontheless super hot to mess around with in role play.

Sissy sluts revel in the opportunity to let all their suppressed “feminine” attributes to come out.  Cross dressing is a big part of this one.   “He” becomes “she” and our sissy glories in being a degraded and used sex object in frilly knickers, fishnet stockings and smeared red lipstick.  She can be re-named something like “Fee Fee” or “Trixie Belle” and taught to parade around seductively in high heels and a wig.

Being feminine is equated with being a submissive, objectified, sexually used, slutty, whore being made to get in various humiliating positions and perform sexual services for their Mistress’ entertainment.  In this version of the game our sissy slut’s cock becomes a “clitty” and her asshole becomes her “pussy”.

This can sometimes include a third person (either male or trans) to train the Sissy in real-life forced-bi scenarios.  The sissy may not actually be attracted to men at all but is turned on by being forced to perform the slutty acts in order to please Mistress.  Oral sex, deep throating, being anally penetrated.  In this instance the Mistress’ pegging may be preparation… A training tool so that the sissy can take cock.

Works well with: Role Play, cross dressing, sissy slut training program, forced bi scenarios, golden showers, squirting dildos, begging, gang bangs, glory holes, forced masturbation, edging and so much more.

sweet strap onSweet Gender Bender:

Key Themes: Desired, Femininity, Innocence, Sensuality, Playful Connection, Receptive, Sexual Awakening

Like the sissy slut, this scenario is about a man taking on a feminine archetype  through cross dressing and play acting traditional feminine roles.  However this is not a sexually degrading version of femininity but an innocent version.  Cross dressing in this instance reflects this girlish innocence in whites and pinks, ribbons and frills.

Sweet Gender Bender types often respond well to a “girls night in” role play where they hang out with their strap-on wearing girlfriend.   They play around together getting dressed up, doing each other’s hair and make up, drinking champagne, dancing to music and talking about boys.  It turns into a lesbian encounter where the innocent crossdressing girl is seduced by her girlfriend.

Again our gender bender’s penis becomes her “clitty” and her asshole becomes her “pussy”.  She enjoys the process of being spoken to in all the feminine terms; “Put your sweet little hands on my cock and give it a massage…” and “Let me see your cute little panties, do they match your bra?”  “You look so pretty tonight, that lipstick suits you…”  There is a lot of flouncing in this sort of pegging scene.  Penetration is usually on her back with her legs spread.

Works well with Role Play:  Kissing, Cross dressing, Sexy Dancing, Exhibitionism,  Erotic Teasing, Sensuality, Fashion Parade and Photoshoot

There are of course more styles than this.  We are complex creatures so you may or may not fit neatly into any of these categories.  However, this is an excellent starting point to work out what style of pegging is for you.

 

Extended Anal Training Program:
While a single play session is of course possible and pleasurable, for anal enthusiasts and those keen to explore deeper, I am offering an Extended Anal Training Package.

Anal sphincters become more flexible with training just like doing yoga makes our bodies more flexible.  It really helps to have an experienced anal expert guide you through an anal training program to discover all the nuances possible.  G spots aren’t always the obvious turn on of the cock or clitoris.  Male G spot can be  illusive, just like the female G spot.    It takes time, practice and patience to discover  just what kinds of  pleasure are possible through anal play but as many anal enthusiastc can attest, once you have accessed this kind of pleasure  it can be full body bliss.

I approach anal training as far more than just phsyically training your hole.  It is a mind, body and sometimes heart and soul journey of self discovery.  It is very much about the places we go inside ourselves during play as well as the physcial acts themselves. You can learn to use erotic embodiment practices to drop deeper into your bodies.  This enhances subspace and/or erotic states of consciousness taking play to the next level.  For those keen to see just what is possible I offer the opportunity to be guided down the anal rabbit hole.

Each package takes into account what style of anal player you are… For those into sensual anal play, the program will have a sensual focus.   For slaves types, you will be put through a vigorous anal training process under Mistress’s eagle eye and strict regime.  It is a journey into submission as much as discovering the joys of your ass.  For sissy sluts, there is a slut training regime… You get the picture…

Each Package includes:

  • Four x 2hr in-person play and training sessions
  • Journal keeping
  • Homework tasks that include training, play and education
  • Reporting back at set times
  • Integration processes

Read more about this program, the author, Sydney-based Mistress Artemisia de Vine, and other kink style sessions available here.   Contact her here.

Please note that this blog entry and all other writing on my website is copyright and cannot be reproduced without my express written permission.

 

 

Feb 232014
 

If you have not already read part 1, I suggest you start there.  See part 1 here… 

Mistress high heelsI turned and began walking through the shopping centre, each high-heeled step a deliberate movement of seduction.  He fumbled with the phallic vegetable and bottle of lube I had insisted he purchase.  I could hear his nervous breath as he attempted to hide the objects in his hands while we walked through the busy centre.

He followed me, uncertain of what I planned to do after the earlier humiliation foreplay in the fruit and vegetable section of the supermarket.

I took my time, stopping to look at the various window displays, taking note of my victim’s flushed cheeks in the reflection of the glass.  I enjoyed toying with him.  No doubt his mind was busily trying to work out what I was going to make him do with that impossibly big phallic vegetable.

His skin was bright with embarrassment.  The more he visualised just what I was going to make him do next, the more he felt as though every passing shopper also knew exactly what was about to happen to him.  Exposed… embarrassed… aroused…  desperately wanting to get away from the laser beams of their eyes yet feeling completely turned on by it.

I bent over in my tight, shapely skirt and adjusted my shoe slightly.  I watched with amusement as I saw him shift his jeans uncomfortably… blood flowing unbidden to his crotch making his pants grow tight and stiff.

“No where to hide little mouse… “ I purred.

Next I asked him to purchase me a large drink while he was still holding on the embarrassing objects and struggling with the fact he was semi erect.  Not  hard enough for anyone else to notice, but hard enough to make him very self-conscious.

He ordered the drink, avoiding making eye contact with the cashier, no doubt imagining she knew exactly what was happening in his dirty little mind. She didn’t of course, but that didn’t stop his face from turning several shades more crimson.

I seductively licked my lips and began sucking through my straw, leaving lashings of red lipstick kisses all over it.  I just watched him through heavy lids as I slurped and sucked every last drop down.  Eye contact can speak volumes.  He squirmed…

When I was done I had him dispose of the cup and I walked slowly and deliberately towards the stairs to the second floor where the cinemas reside.  We walked together in tense, excited silence.  Every sense alert, pulsing and alive.

I could feel his relief as we entered the darkened foyer of the cinemas.  It was easier to not be noticed here.  Not so much light and the thick, red carpet muffled the clickety clack of my ridiculously high heels.

unisex-toiletI sauntered over to the unisex toilet and waited until there was no one around.

“Quickly now, in we go!” I said eyeing the bathroom door.

He hesitated but my face expression told him I would tolerate no disobedience so he slipped inside.  It was a large cubicle.  Big enough for what I had planned…

“Hand me the vegetable,” I said calmly.  He passed it to me.  It was a bright green vegetable I didn’t know the name of.  It was covered in wart-like bumps and was as long as my forearm… and certainly a lot thicker…

“Mistress, I… I don’t know if I…”  he began stammering.

I just looked amused and raised one eyebrow.  “You don’t know if you can what, slave?”

He eyed the vegetable and gulped.

Without breaking eye contact, I opened the bottle of lube and deliberately poured it all over the vegetable like chocolate sauce on an ice cream sunday.    Clear, slippery gel wound its tendrils down the vegetable in thick ribbons.

“But… I’m sorry Mistress, but I really don’t think I can take that!” he stammered.

“Is that so, slave?” I purred, again amused.

I reached over and grabbed a handful of hair at the scruff of his neck yanking his head back, opening his mouth and pulling him off-balance.

“I suspect you will do as your told don’t you?”  I whispered so close to his ear that my breath tickled his lobe.

“Besides, I told you there would be… consequences... if you chose a smaller vegetable than I did, didn’t I, slave?”.

His eyes widened but he didn’t answer.

“I can’t hear you” I purred… “Didn’t I warn you slave?”

“Y…Yes Mistress” he stammered.

marsian phallus 2I thrust the tip of the marsian looking phallus in his mouth and watched him strain to take it in… lube spilling down his chin.  He mumbled and moaned but it was muffled by the vegetable unceremoniously stuffed in his orifice.

“Now that I have your full attention, slave, I am going to give you some instructions.  I want to you to listen very carefully and obey to the letter, do you understand?”  He nodded, eyes wide and mouth still full.  I thrust the vegetable in a little further and watched impassively as he struggled to take it.

“In a moment I am going to let you go.  When I do I want you to unzip your jeans and pull them down to your ankles.  I then want you bend over the toilet, resting your hands on the flush tank and present your bottom to me.  You need to be very quiet so we are not overheard. There could be people right outside the door.  Do you understand?

“Yes mistress” he mumbled through the vegetable gag.

I released the scruff of his neck and removed the marsian phallus vegetable from his mouth.  He immediately unzipped his jeans and pulled them down, exposing his very hard cock standing in full salute to me.

I smiled to myself.  Here was a complete stranger I had never met before doing my every bidding.  I took a moment to savor that thrill.  He had contacted me through my professional dominatrix website and we had negotiated a session.  Even though I am a professional with an excellent reputation, it still takes guts to trust and obey someone you do not know.  There is an art to seducing submission out of someone and I love every second of it.

He turned around and assumed the position as instructed.  He no doubt heard the snap of my latex gloves.

“I like being fully dressed when you are all vulnerable and exposed slave”  I whispered throatily.   “Being bent over and humiliated suits you…”

I slapped his perky arse cheek and slithered a lubed finger down his crack, making him jump.

inside toilet cubicle“Shshshsh my wicked boy, we both know you are going to do as you are told and open up for me”.  I reassured him in a lullaby voice of honey seduction. “We both know you like to be fucked and I am going to invade your most secret places”.

I pushed a finger into his arse.  He gasped with the shock of it but soon relaxed into a moan of pleasure.

His hole was tight and we both knew he would never be able to take the vegetable phallus but I was enjoying playing with his head.  With my other hand, I rolled the vegetable between his butt cheeks and down through his thighs to tickle his balls.  I began gently thrusting my finger in and out, massaging his prostate with every stroke.

We could hear the muffled sound of people in the cinema foyer, going about their business.

He began moaning quietly and rocking back and forth, obviously enjoying being penetrated.

“I think you like it don’t you slave?  Tell me how much you like being fucked up the arse slave?  I want to hear you beg for more.”

“Yes Mistress!  I love being your slave.  I’ll do anything you say.  Please fuck me Mistress”.

“You’re a little slut aren’t you slave? Tell me how much of a horny slut you are.”

“I’m your horny little slut, Mistress. I’m your little slut.  Please fuck me Mistress!”.

At this point he was so aroused he would have done anything at all and I knew it.  I thrust a few more times and then stopped abruptly, leaving him empty and desperate for more.

“Now slave, I am going to give you a choice.  You can either take this delightfully large marsian phallus all the way up your arse or you can open your mouth and let me use it as a toilet.  I did drink an awful lot you see…  I want you to drink every last drop of my golden nectar and thank me for it.  Which will it be?”

He hesitated.  I drummed my fingers impatiently.  “Hmmm?”

We both knew that he was revolted by the idea of drinking my piss but that the phallus was impossible for his tight, untrained arse to take.  It wasn’t really a choice.  He would have to become my living toilet.

I held the marsian phallus up for him to assess.  “Which is it to be?”

“I.. I will take the golden shower, Mistress” he stammered.

“Good boy”.  I smiled.  Now lie down on the ground and open your mouth.  I want to hear you say that you are my toilet.

He lay down obediently and half opened his mouth nervously.  He didn’t say anything.  I could feel how humiliating it was for him to say those words out loud.  His cock was harder than ever but still he struggled.

“I want to hear you say it slave” I repeated impatiently.

“I, I am your toilet Mistress.  I am yours to piss on.  You may piss in my mouth and I will drink every last drop.  I am yours to do with as you please”.

“Yes, yes your are.” I purred.

Pouring oil or golden liquid.I slowly hitched my skirt up to reveal my black satin g-string.  I slipped my fingers under the elastic and flicked it against my skin.  I stepped across him so one of my high-heeled shoes was on either side of his head, giving him an exquisite view up my skirt.

I slowly slipped my panties off, sliding them down my plump, stocking-clad legs.  I slipped them down all the way to my ankles so they stretch taut across his nose and mouth filling his nostrils with the scent of my pussy, hesitated a moment, then flicked them off altogether.

“Open your mouth little slave.  Open wider than that.  For if you do not drink every drop, my golden shower will spill all over your shirt and you do not have a change of clothes”.

I let that sink in.

Then I stretched luxuriously and bent down into a squat, positioning my pussy only inches from his face.  So close, yet so far away…

He opened very wide, not wanting to spill a drop.

At first it was just a trickle… a little splish, splash… I controlled the stream in short bursts letting it gush into his open mouth and roll over his tongue.  I heard him struggle not to spit it out… struggle to keep his mouth open…

His cock was so hard I could have used it as a crow bar.  He may be revolted, degraded and humiliated but he was enjoying this as much as I was.

“Taste it slave.  I want you to taste my golden vintage like a wine.  Savor it. Swish it around your mouth, there’s a good little toilet”.

I squirted another warm gush into his open mouth and watched him struggle to obey.  It was a little too much for him however as some spilled out the corners of his mouth and dribbled down his chin and the front of his chest.

I held the phallus up for him to see clearly.  “Drink it ALL up or you will have to take this after all” I threatened with an amused voice. “It will be very entertaining for me”.

He doubled his efforts to comply with my wishes and I began to gush in earnest making it very difficult for him to swallow in time without my piss going all over him.

Just at that point there was a sudden banging on the door.  A male voice, obviously an employee of the cinema, said, “Excuse me but you need to come out of there.  You were both seen entering the toilet and you’ve been in there far too long.  You need to come out immediately!”

puddle“Just a moment please” I said sweetly while continuing to piss all over my slave.  The surprise knock had made me jump, spraying my golden shower all down the front of my slave’s shirt.  He was soaked.  I may as well finish the job I thought sadistically.  I sprayed one final gush all over his face and clothes.

My slave was in a panic.  He had been getting off on the idea of maybe getting caught but to actually be caught!  Well that was the ultimate humiliation!

I calmly stuffed my panties in my handbag and disposed of the vegetable and lube bottle in the bin.

I then folded my arms amused as my slave tried desperately to clean himself up. He wiped his face with toilet paper as best he could but there really wasn’t anything for it but to come out covered in my golden nectar.  He looked terrified!

There was more banging on the door from the manager.  “I really must insist that you come out of there immediately” he said in a commanding loud voice.  This of course attracted attention of passers-by.  When we did open the door there was a small crowd to greet us, all staring at us.

I stepped out perfectly neat and tidy in my tight skirt and seductive heels… a small wicked smile on my face…

My slave followed out awkwardly behind me covered in piss and unable to do a thing about it.  I walked slowly and deliberately across the hall with all eyes burning into us.  I can’t imagine what they were speculating.  Could they smell the urine or did they think it was water on his shirt?

car parkI know my slave had never squirmed so much in painful, arousing embarrassment in his life!  He was both horrified and secretly loving it.  I did not hurry a single step.

Down the esculator and back in to the main shopping centre, we walked the slow parade of shame.  Soaked in my scent he was forced to walk at a sedate pace through the flouro lit halls.  The walk seemed to last forever.   A smile curled my lips every step of the way… enjoying every awkward moment of humiliation… every excrutiating moment of exquisite torture.

After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the car park.

I turned, noticed his straining erection had returned… and simply winked at him… then walked off to my car without another word.

I just left him standing there in the delicious torment of degradation and arousal.  I left him burning with need for release.  Ah, a Mistress can be so cruel.

******

He wrote to me later to tell me that was one of the most extraordinary, unusual and arousing experiences he had ever had.  He has a thoroughly wicked and hot story to climax to over and over for years to come.

******

This story is based on a real session in my early days as a professional dominatrix and humiliatrix.  All sessions are negotiated and consented to and my slave had a safe word he could have used to stop any activities at any time.  I had no intention of actually getting caught and involving innocent by-standers but it just happened that way.

I have written a blog here about how humiliation can actually be a deeply loving and conscious way to approach kink.  Check it out here…

For those interested in sessions with me, I am currently based in Sydney, Australia.  See my website for further details.

This story is copyright and may not be reproduced in any way without express, written permission from me, Artemisia de Vine.

Nov 092013
 

Temptation logoAs a professional Dominatrix, ocassional switch and educator in the world of conscious kink, I am often asked how I can possibly thoroughly enjoy play sessions that intentionally humiliate or embarrass my play partner.  How can I be invested in a loving, self-aware path that focuses on mindfulness and embodied meditation and also be into objectifying, degrading, controlling and belittling another human being?

Warning!  This blog discusses explicit adult themes of a fetish, BDSM and kink nature.   

It’s true that I am both a person who strives for integrity and cares deeply for the well-being of my play partners while at the same time I find it incredibly hot to make them perform erotically humiliating acts.  It’s one of my specialties and personal core erotic themes.  I am a humiliatrix.  I even like to some times, with the right partner, switch roles.  Embarrassment, power and eroticism frequently go hand in hand.

Being conscious about kink certainly doesn’t mean “light  and fluffy” BDSM only.  Delving into the feeling of danger and mystery can often be what ignites our erotic play… taking risks… peeking into the dark crevices of our souls…  exploring power or intensity can be what gives a session its bite and heat… carving a delicious memory into our flesh that lasts a life time.    

It could be as simple as having to bare your bottom and bend over for a thorough spanking… being anally taken by a strap on… forced to worship my feet… verbal put downs from mild  to intense…. being made to kneel… spat on… called names… small cock humiliation… put in degrading positions… being made to eat out of a dog bowl…  forced to drink golden showers…  being treated like a sissy slut…  being tied up, teased and laughed at about how turned on you are and how you are never going to be allowed to actually touch the body in front of you… and far more intense, explicit things I won’t go into here. 

shadow04Erotic Shadows

Conscious kink is not about sanitising that… It is about engaging with it in a consensual and aware way that aims to have a positive effect on all involved and allows us to travel deeper into each moment.  It is about learning and harnessing skills to ride the wave rather than be rolled by it… and to enter states of being and, well, consciousness one cannot get to otherwise.  Consciously approaching kink play takes bravery to be self-aware, take self-responsibility and be the hero on your own erotic quest of self discovery.  Far from detracting from the experience, being conscious in BDSM play only makes it more potent.

Each of us have core erotic themes that run through our fantasies and erotic dream-scape.  Core erotic themes vary greatly from person to person and are very often made up of the parts of us that we have suppressed as part of our personal and cultural upbringing.   As we develop and adopt the socially acceptable ways of being and behaving in any given family or culture, some natural parts of us are deemed inappropriate.   Showing anger might be one… taking up too much body space might be another… openly expressing our sexuality might be another…  According to Carl Jung, all of these aspects of our personality are suppressed into our unconscious where we are no longer aware of it on  a day-to-day basis.   The qualities that are suppressed are called our shadow and contains both negative and positive aspects of us.   Our shadow becomes the part of us we can’t see yet has a huge impact on the way we feel, act and react all the time.

Creating shadows is a natural part of learning to belong to any culture but creating shadows also creates shame.  It’s pretty simple.   Suppressing certain aspects of us also creates shame about those aspects.   Our shadow self is made up of all these suppressed aspects.  We access our unconscious, where our shadow lives, through the images and feelings in day and night dreams, imagination and yes, our sexual fantasies.     

Core erotic themes vary greatly from person to person but we all have them  if we dig deep enough we find common flavors running through our sexual fantasies and none of them are politically correct.  Some people, have core erotic themes that are about longing, being desired, having power, being powerless and some of us have core erotic themes that are formed from the clay of humiliation, embarrassment and shame.   Even those that have non humiliation core erotic themes, may have a smattering of humiliation woven through their fantasies anyway.  It is not universal but is very common.   

portal spaceSexual Fantasy as Portal to the Unconscious

Our sexual fantasies are gateways to these suppressed aspects of ourselves because being aroused or in sub space or both, takes us into a different state of consciousness.  When in these head-spaces we think, feel and experience things differently.  In these states of consciousness the veil between unconscious self and conscious self is thinner.  The unconscious bleeds through and we start to think in the langauge of the unconscious… in dream language… in fantasy language… So we have sexual fantasy and shame hand in hand here…  We also have an opportunity  for  inner alchemy here.  To turn the base metals into gold…  All the ingredients are there.   We have an opportunity for the conscious and unconscious to co-operate and align if we choose to embrace our shadow in our erotically fuelled  and/or subspace altered state of consciousness.   

knickersSissy Sluts as an Example of Erotic Shadow 

Cis men into cross dressing are into it for a huge variety of reasons and not all of them have a core erotic theme based in humiliation.  Like-wise, not every one who has humiliation as a core erotic theme is into cross dressing.   I am just using cross dressing as a possible expression of someone who has humiliation as a core erotic theme in the example below.

A person born in a male body is socialised to “act like a man” and “man up” from the moment he is first put in his pale blue onesy as a baby.   Depending on the particular culture, subculture and family beliefs, the idea of how to ‘act like a man” will have various expressions.  Some common themes are not being allowed to wear pink, satin, frills, flowers, make up, or anything associated with being a “girl”.   Crying, showing emotion, forming intimate connections with mates where feelings are openly shared… skipping… moving the pelvis in a “feminine” way etc…  Along for the ride with this mentality is the idea that men are the “doers” in sex and women are the “done to”.   Sex inherently taints women but not men.  Being receptive is female…  Being penetrated is not a “manly” thing to do. 

These attributes and acts literally have to be trained  out of our boys to turn them into “men”.   That means the attributes were there to start with buthad to be suppressed. Many aspects of  masculinity have to be performed and reinforced and are often reinforced quite brutally.  I’m not saying there aren’t natural differences between people born with penises and those born with pussies, but I am saying there are clearly also some pretty strong socialisation processes.  Boys frequently bully each other the second they show any sign of being “girly”.  Being like a girl is the worst crime and is considered weak, submissive and pathetic.  It may even earn you a beating and being socially ostracized.   There is deep shame in showing any attributes considered feminine.  Having a “big cock” is the ultimate symbol of being a sexually virile manly man and is associated with dominance.

barbieAs a dominatrix, I see a lot of men who are incredibly turned on by being forced to wear girly, frilly panties.  They feel really turned on by being forced to do all those things normally considered “sissy” but have no idea why.  It is such a common pattern there is a common name for it.  It’s called a “sissy slut” session.  The sissy sluts who also have humiliation as part of their turn on want to feel all the girly things forbidden to them and be humiliated for it.   They want to feel sexually desired and objectified the way women often are.  They love the feel of the silky under things against their skin but for the humiliation themed sissies, it isn’t truly hot until they are mocked and degraded for it.   They want to not only be smeared in lipstick and made to take on the body language of girls but they want to be degraded and called a slut for it… forced to suck my strap on and then be used anally.   Some find having their cock mocked as small and useless is a real turn on.   Basically, living out their worst fears and transforming them into something pleasurable through eroticising them.

This is just a small sample of many possible forms humiliation sessions might take.  Anyone of any gender can enjoy humiliation play on either the giving or the recieving end.  Another example could be treated like an animal, caged  and collared… because likewise the aspects of us that are considered uncultured, raw and sexual are often correlated with “acting like an animal”.  

Another person may enjoy eroticising the feeling of being seen and used as just a sex object.   Some may secretly fantasise about being a trussed up like a naked, hog-tied, turkey in the middle of the boardroom table while surrounded with corporate types in suits observing and analyzing them.   Others enjoy the thought of  being de-humanised altogether and treated like a resource.  A thing.  Or actively scolded and dressed down.

It’s not always overtly erotic either.  It can be more about subspace and the state of consciousness people go when the mind is tricked into a state of open surrender.  Sub space = submission space and often ressembles the place meditators aim to access.  A surrender of the ego to let some other part of us take the driver’s seat.  

Humiliation is complex.  I won’t go into all the possible nuances here.  Some of us have it as a deeply rooted core erotic theme that will remain with us for the rest of their lives.  Others of us have other core erotic themes but have aspects of feeling shame and embarrassment threading through our secret masturbation fantasies like a spice that adds the kick.  It’s not surprising really given the mixed messages we are given about our sexuality from the get go.  It’s a source of wonder and great shame.  The sex Goddess is also the “slut” and the “whore”.  

thespianDoesn’t acting it out reinforce it?  How can that be conscious and healthy?

So what do we do with this?   I have met may a tantrika or well-meaning person who thinks we need to heal this aspect of ourselves.  While I agree that working through sexual shame is one of the great works of our era, I do not agree that  our sexual fantasies and consensual role plays should be “healed”.  That is, the aim of conscious kink as I see it, is not to make those uncomfortable fantasies go away.   To avoid embracing our politically incorrect turn ons would be to suppress those aspects of ourselves even further… creating an even stronger struggle between our conscious minds and our shadow selves.   Instead, I propose we embrace our shadow in a conscious, lusty, full power way with a cherry on top!

By creating safe spaces to bring out and explore our shadow selves in a play scene we are creating a container with a neat beginning, middle and end that allows us to let the usually suppressed parts of ourselves take the driver’s seat.  It is a ritual if you like, where we can create temporary, different rules and ways of being that we consent to with awareness.  Our subconscious doesn’t speak the same langauge or play by the same rules as our conscious minds.  In a play scene we are letting the language of the subconscious take over, or at least bleed through.   By acting these shadow aspects of ourselves out, we  create an opportunity to bring the paradoxical elements of ourselves into alignment.  The paradox never goes away but we learn to ride it and find the treasure at the heart of it.  It is right there in the point where darkness and light meet that the magic lies.  

The point is not to turn darkness into light.  Oh no!  Too much sweetness and light leads to spiritual diabetes.  The point is to ride the paradox and engage with it consciously.  

By bringing unconscious and conscious into alignment something powerful happens.  Our shadow is no longer, well unconsciously controlling our feelings, reactions, beliefs, relationships.   Instead, the conscious and unconscious are co operating and co creating.  The shadow becomes our ally rather than our feared monster under the bed and we have a sense of inner alignment.

This moment of paradox in alignment sometimes just happens accidentally without us ever consciously examining any of the whys and hows.   The play is enough on its own to create this effect.   If you are erotically drawn to something and you have the opportunity to live it out in a safe way with consenting adults, then go for it.  Follow those erotic cookie crumbs!  They are leading you to a deeper relationship with your shadow self.   However just doing it randomly is a bit hit and miss.  

If we enter into humiliation play with awareness and conscious intention, we have the potential to nudge the result into an even more effective and powerful place more often.  While there are never any guarentees, the result is far more likely to be empowering rather than reinforcing the status quo.  There is the world of difference between a client who comes to me like our play is a dirty secret, feels ashamed that he has this need, responds unconsciously by being shifty and sleazy and then turning on me afterwards, to a client who comes to me willing to be the hero on his own inner alchemy quest by exploring his Kink proclivities with awareness and taking self-responsibility.   The outcome of the two sessions are vastly different.

In the case of the sissy sluts, conscious kink creates a place to play with gender.   We don’t try to make it politically correct because that would actually kill the power of acting out our shadow selves.  Remember the unconscious is not politically correct and we need to allow space to give it voice.   By acting out our sissy slut, we come into a greater awareness and relationship with the suppressed so-called “girly” or “slutty” parts of ourselves.    Instead of then becoming revolted when men act in “girly” ways without knowing why, we begin to lose that knee jerk revulsion.  We then have more choice around how we interact with gender and allow those around us to interact with their own gender identity in whatever way they choose.  Being  sissy slut doesn’t stop beign a turn on for us and as far as I am concerned it shouldn’t.   What happens is we have a more aware, healthy relationship to our inner sissy slut that ripples out into our relationship with ourself and others in all areas of life. 

erotic themesPersonal Core Erotic Themes

Each of us has different core erotic themes so not every one will be drawn to explore humiliation scenes.   Of those into humiliation, there will be a huge variety of fantasies about how that might manifest in your hottest turn ons.   Certainly not everyone will be turned on by being a made into a sissy slut.  While many men go through the process of having the “girl” beaten out of them through socialisation, only some end up with sissy slut fantasies.   No one really knows why for sure.  

Perhaps instead your fantasies are based on being caught masturbating, or having the girl you fancy use her power over you to make you jump through hoops?   Being degraded and having your mouth used as a toilet…  Or simply being made to beg to be fucked…  Maybe you like role play where you are caught rifling through your neighbor’s  knicker draw and she threatens to tell your parents if you don’t do exactly as she says…  Maybe you fantasise about being naked in a board room full of corporate types in suits?  The scenarios are endless and I have become very creative in finding ways to tease out those hots spots in an individual’s core erotic theme.  

The reason that I am drawn to humiliation play is that is one of my own core erotic themes.  I get it.  I really get it.  My goodness did it take me a long time to be able to admit it!   I’m into degrading and erotically humiliating others and under the right circumstances, I’m turned on by having the tables turned.  Oh the shame of having humiliation and degradation as a turn on.  *Cue irony*

As an aside, It is also worth noting that having core erotic themes like humiliation, does not stop us from also accessing other forms of erotic pleasure like making love, sensuality, ecstatic erotically-fuelled trance states, kundalini experiences and more.   Fantasy and kink play is only one possible expression out of many.   If you only know how to be aroused from your core erotic theme and can’t access any other forms of erotic interaction, then I suggest going to a sexologcial bodyworker or other conscious sexuality professional and learning how to access even more potential within you.  More options  = more ways of playing and connecting with self and others. 

ying-yang-yin-x-250943 So what makes Conscious Kink humiliation play sessions any different? 

There are all sorts of skills from neo-tantra, mindfulness and other somatic embodiment practices that are helpful to enhance any sort of kink play.  There are all sorts of subtle ways of  moving into deeper relationship with self from various esoteric traditions and somatic body-mind techniques.  Techniques from tantra, yoga, mindfulness and transcendental meditation practices all translate well into kink play.  However,  a really great place to start is simply with intention and awareness.

Just being aware that this play is a opportunity to own our erotic shadow selves and make them an ally already makes a big difference to how we approach any session.   Having the intention to tune into and embrace our erotic shadow changes everything.

I find discussing and stating out loud our intention in a clear sentence or two before we begin has a subtle but potent impact on a play scene.  Our unconscious responds to our intentions in ways that ripple out into our lives in ways we can’t really pre-conceive.   Having the intention, to love and respect ourselves and consciously let go for a given amount of time to fully enter into a normally suppressed way of being, accepting ourselves and each other “warts and all” makes a big difference.  Being witnessed, accepted and held in our  secret, sexy, vulnerable, shameful places is huge!

This kind of play often leads to a way of being where our shadow selves start to work with us in everyday life rather than control us in unconscious ways, bursting out like volcanos in seemingly unconnected areas of our lives.  Personally, I have been blown away with just how powerful simple tools like intention and awareness have.

barbed candleConscious Kink as a Spiritual Path 

Each person has their own spiritual or existential perspective and far be it from me to tell you what to think.  You certainly don’t  have to adopt my take on spirituality for this process to work.   However, to me, the great soul work of being human is to fully experience being human and awaken to our full selves.  Awaken all the layers…  We often wander about in a sleep walk, living our pre-programmed social scripts and wonder why we feel dissatisfied.   The antidote is to wake up!

More and more people are waking up and truly living.  One of the key ways to do this is to befriend our shadow selves and turn it into an ally.    One excellent and effective way to do this is through accessing our sexuality… where the veils between the conscious and unconscious are naturally thinner and alignment is more easily achievable.

I am of the school of thought that we are not human beings having a spiritual experience but we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  That means everything is already sacred just the way it is.  However the ultimate experience is being conscious of and fully exploring our humanity with awareness of our inner spark of divinity.  We feel the most right, the most content and at “home” when we are in alignment with all aspects of ourselves.

Sounds good, so where do we start?  

So all this sounds really exciting and you’d like to play.   Start by thinking about the common themes running through your hottest, most forbidden fantasies.  The ones you hardly dare think about unless you are so aroused you are about to cum.   There will likely be lots of different scenarios you enjoy.  Take notice of what the underlying themes are.  What common ingredient makes it hot for you again and again no matter what shape the fantasy takes?   Break that down so you can clearly communicate it and consent to it, agreeing to safewords and after-care.

hand shakeConsent, Negotiation and Safe words

Humiliation is a volatile fantasy to play with.  It has to be very carefully discussed and consented to before hand because one person’s turn on is the next person’s traumatic experience.  I can’t emphasis enough how important it is to discuss a potential humiliation scene thoroughly and work out exactly what hits the hot buttons and which ones hit the genuine ouch buttons.   It is important for all parties involved to consent to certain activities, attitudes and understand the vibe of the individual player’s core erotic theme.  

No matter how much you plan, there is always a certain amount of risk in these kinds of games.  I get my play partners to actively acknowledge that risk and take self-responsibility for it.  Having a plan for if things go awry is really useful.    We agree to a safe word that can stop our play at any time if needed.  I ask my play partners not to use the safe word willy-nilly but to take three long, slow breaths before using it.  If they still need to use, it, go for it but make sure they need to.  Life isn’t all nice kittens and pie and sometimes the most challenging parts of the play turn out, in hindsight, to be what really gave it power.

My most immediate psychological “first aid” tool for if my play partner or I becomes triggered is to focus on breathing.   When an unexpected surge of emotion rises in us, as it sometimes does when working with erotic alchemy,  I get the person to focus completely on their breath.  Counting with them and guiding them to breath very slowly and fully.. letting the air fall all the way out before taking the next breath.   Doing this for ten breaths is often enough to shift the burst of emotive energy  to be able to talk about it and feel into what needs to happen next.  If what needs to happen is beyond my scope, I have the numbers of highly respected, kink-friendly counsellors and psychotherapists handy.

It’s also important to discuss after-care.  Even if my play partner is grinning from ear to ear at the end of our session, aftercare may be needed to bring things full circle.   It is good to discuss with the person what they need to reassure them they are a respected, valuable human being.  For some people suddenly becoming all nurturing at the end of the session would burst the bubble for them but for others, it is essential or they will feel weepy and empty for days.  There are no fixed rules so communication and risk aware experimentation is key.    Quite often a blanket, a cup of tea and a chance to de-brief about the experience is enough.

If your play partner is not experienced, it may help to seek out someone in the kink and/or tantra scene who is who can help you work it out.   The local kink scene often runs workshops and skill shares.  Or else you can book in for a professional session with a dominatrix or switch. Some professionals approach their play more consciously than others so ask questions until you find the right fit.  Many kink professionals are happy to see couples and guide them into a play session together.  

If you are looking to specifically learn the skills to take humiliation into the realm of conscious play as part of your personal journey into great self-awareness, personal transformation, discovery and alignment then there are people listed on my website who work in those areas offering everytign from counselling, workshops, and play sessions.   There is a book list on the resources section of my website.   You are also welcome to sign up to my mailing list to keep an eye out for upcoming workshops or book in for a personalised consultation or play session.  Skype sessions consultations available.  

Most of all, remember that while this kind of play can push boundaries and be challenging, it is also lots and lots of  fun and one hell of an adventure!   Good luck on your quest to discover even more of your inner world and get off in the process.  Yay for the paradox of holy smut!

 – Artemisia de Vine: Goddess of Conscious Kink

 

All material on this blog is copyright and the property of Artemisia de Vine.