Jan 262017
 

Domina Artemisia de Vine slave CK

 

Do you know how good it is to be praised for what most of society tells me is wrong? A part of me I’ve tried to squeeze into conformity in order to be lovable?

I unfurl that part of me when I am Mistress in The deVinery. I am a caged bird, set free… soaring in the skies…

Do you know how good it is to be appreciated instead of shunned when I unleash like that?

This week’s good medicine:

“There is just no doubt at all that you are genuinely dominant. I normally struggle to submit because the dominants I’ve played with feel more like they are playing a role. The part of me that needs to submit just doesn’t believe it. With you though, there is just no doubt whatsoever. You don’t even have to try. You just are dominant. Sipping tea and laughing, you still radiate dominance. It’s glorious.”

And…

“I come back to submit to you because it is so rare to meet a woman so thoroughly in her power. You just are dominant. It’s intoxicating just to be around it.”

My submissives, pets, slaves and kinky adventurers often have transformative experiences by exploring themselves with me. However it does work both ways. They heal me too.

I appreciate their submission so very much.  It enables me to be who I am without censor.

Spanking switch circle

Spanking switch circle

“But hang on…. aren’t you a switch?”  

Yes, yes I am.  I am a dominant personality.  I just am the leader in most of my personal primary relationships.  I am naturally dominant in my every day beingness.

I also love being a Mistress.  It feels right.

I also very much enjoy switching, under the right circumstances, with the right people.  Professionally this is usually through role play scenes and domestic-style discipline.  

I adore receiving a well administered spanking and caning session.  To me this feels like the gift akin to receiving a massage.  It’s so good!  I can float for hours on the bliss of it!  I’ve even thought of training a service sub to spank me just the way I like it.  However, receiving from a confident dominant is also a delicious gift because the more they can take control, the further I let go.   Like jumping from a ledge, knowing someone will catch you.

artemisia-visits-brightonI also genuinely enjoy exploring power exchange role plays on a professional level.  Being “blackmailed” by my boss into pulling down my knickers, bending over the desk and receiving a thorough spanking/caning for losing an important account.  Love it!   Such a fun game!  But that is just it… it is a fun role-play game.  I can and do go quite far into a submissive role with it and get a lot out of it but it is a different thing to being a submissive personality.

There are limits to how far as I go into submission on a professional level because to really enter into the blissfulness of full surrender, I need established trust with a special person.  I have worked very hard to make sure I am trustworthy as a professional dominant so that my ongoing slaves, subs, pets etc can submit to me for real.  However, not many clients have the skill level to be able to do that back for me.

I do explore submission far deeper in my personal life when I get the chance.  I naturally desire to enter into all the beautiful spaces that submission can take me… the self discovery… subspace… the ego dissolution experience… awakening of the secret core of me that can only happen when ego gets out of the driver’s seat… I think my intimate experience in this area makes me a better Mistress.  It certainly gives me a much deeper embodied empathy for what my subs are going through which means I can guide and protect them better even as I push them into more and more challenging places…

Switching is so valuable and I recommend everyone try it even if it doesn’t appear to be your natural inclination.  In fact I plan on writing a blog about the spirituality of switching very soon.

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine, Dominatrix, BDSM

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine, Dominatrix, BDSM

However, I am not a submissive personality.

In my personal relationships I tend to be Queen in everyday life and I am drawn to partners that want to be my gallant knight, or general of my army.  We have an open and warm respect for each other’s opinions and needs but I tend to lead more often than not.  What is normally expected in a standard patriarchal relationship but in reverse.  Matriarchy.  I frequently date younger men.

Within negotiated scenes, they rule and I genuinely submit.   Wholeheartedly surrender and open.  We often switch in the bedroom.  It becomes a clearly negotiated power exchange where everyone is happy and everyone gets a turn exploring all aspects of themselves.

However I am still a dominant personality.  This is never going to change.  It just is. I didn’t have to overcome anything to be this way, I just am this way.  Most men find me undate-able because this threatens them too much. Ridiculous, yet deeply ingrained, patriarchal notions that make them equate allowing a woman to be the head of the household with making them weak.  That to be like a woman is weak.  Talk about misogyny!  If you think taking the role you expect women to take is inherently degrading, then there is a problem.  Take a closer look at that.

I receive the message that I am unlovable because I am dominant, over and over and over.  My male submissives receive the message they are unlovable over and over and over again.  So when my submissives show such appreciation for my dominant side, I purr and appreciate the hell out of them right back.   Bring it on.

Sydney Domina Artemisia de Vine

Sydney Domina Artemisia de Vine

See my website for other blogs or to apply for one-on-one sessions

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Or Instagram which is new so be patient because pics coming soon.  

Sep 112016
 
Mistress Artemisia de Vine

Mistress Artemisia de Vine

I do love getting a parcel with new kinky goodies.  There is something so exciting about opening a package and getting to test out a new piece of equipment.  This week I received one of Mr Martin’s  PM leather hand-made hobble belts.  That is, an attractive leather belt you can wear every day, that double as restraints.  Very handy!

Being a big fan of brown leather, I asked for a brown version of the standard black hobble with stainless steel squares.   I am yet to test out the restraint part on anyone other than myself but I do like the look of it on my waist.  It is also easy to clip on my favorite impact play toys if I want to wear it to a play party.

The pictures of the lovely ladies being restrained are from PMleather’s site.

Full, disclosure, I did get this product for free because Mr Martin was hoping I would write about it.  However, I was under no obligation to do so.  I decided to mention it because I am happy with it.  If anyone else would like me to blog about their products, you are also welcome to send me free samples but be warned, I will be honest in my opinions.

Aug 132016
 

 

cross dressing sydney boot fetish sissy Mistress blurred ck

 

It was an absolute delight to session with Sarah, the fabulous sissy and shoe fetishist yesterday.  Sarah asked if she could bring her shoe collection to show me.  I eagerly agreed as I do love shoes.  When she got here, she brought suit case after suitcase into the room… all full of shoes!  She even brought a surfboard cover full of shoes! I didn’t count them but she said there were 98 pairs there.

shoe boot fetish sydney Mistress Artemisia blurred CK

 

I invited my friend, M, over to join in the fun.  M has an interest in learning about sissies, cross-dressing and fetishes and has a natural inclination towards helping others explore their sissy side but lacks the confidence to conduct professional sessions.  However with her clear passion for all things cross dressing and sissy, I am sure it won’t be long before she runs brilliant sessions!

At first M was quiet and just observed but it didn’t take her long to break out and get drawn into the games.  Much to sissy Sarah’s delight, by the end of the afternoon, M was right into it!   There was a shoe fetish spit roasting scene with Sarah on all fours sucking the divine heels M was wearing while I took Sarah from behind wearing this fabulous butt plug attached to a shoe!

shoe fetish butt plug sydney Mistress Artemisia CK

Amongst all this fabulousness was a bunch of dresses that Sarah paraded around for us.  This pleased M so much that she joined me in donning a strap-on and our sweet sissy Sarah obediently became our slutty bitch.

Sydney fetishist sissy cross dress CK
At the close of our play,  Sissy Sarah gifted both M and I a pair of beautiful shoes each.  M was delighted with her elegant black and white heals while I am so very pleased with my great thigh high leather boots.

Not all my session are about intense domination.  Sometimes it is about letting our hair down and having a romp.  All in all it was a great afternoon of shoe sniffing, champagne sipping, girly lesbian fun.

Sissy Sarah

Sissy Sarah

sissy sydney shoes fetish domina CK

Aug 022016
 

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSMTaking a deeper look into our taboo sexual fantasies and kinky desires, can be an extraordinarily illuminating experience.  Furthermore it can have a really positive effect in so many areas of our lives, yet we are often so debilitated by shame that we cannot even tell our nearest and dearest we have these dirty little secrets.

Or else, we proudly live out our fantasies in the kink scene… or by being a player… or masturbating to them… but are afraid to lift the lid and take a closer peak at what they mean and end up missing out on their full potential at best, and hurting ourselves and others, at worst.

One of the reasons that we often feel so much shame around sexual fantasies, is that they frequently tap into parts of us we have suppressed.  We are often in denial about these aspects of ourselves so when our sexual fantasies knock on the door we feel as though they don’t really represent us.  The shame impulse can kick in and we can suppress our fantasies altogether.  Or another common response, is to enjoy kinky desires or taboo fantasies, only for the length of time we are aroused, and then revert to feeling shame in ourselves and brush them back under the proverbial bush.

So many of us fear letting others know what we really think about when fantasising and yet we are all in the same boat!  Even those that initially think they don’t have sexual fantasies, discover they do when we take a closer look.

Common Fantasies

In my work as a lifestyle and professional dominatrix, switch and sex worker I have had the privilege of working closely with thousands of people’s fantasies.  I help them tease them out and create play scenes designed on each individual’s unique erotic wiring. While we are all different, there are common themes that emerge again and again.  There are also common patterns in the aspects of ourselves that we suppress that are directly linked to our fantasy turn ons.

Some are fantasies are about people we know, others are about ideal lovers and many are embarrassingly politically incorrect!  We can feel things that we would never want to act out in everyday life.  Aspects of us come out of the murky depths when we allow ourselves to tap into sexual fantasy!

Love and Power is a very common theme.  Those that see themselves as loving don’t like to see their desire for power for instance and suppress some of these aspects of self, while those that see themselves as powerful secretly desire to surrender to love… Or be forced to… These aspects come out in our fantasy desires.

Some of those that consider themselves “manly” don’t like to have others know they have a suppressed desire for the attributes socially coded as “feminine”.  Yet often those types will be the very ones that come and see me secretly for a cross dressing session… Or to be ravished with strap on…  There are of course also other reasons someone might be drawn to this type of play.  This is just an example of how a suppressed aspect of us might come out through fantasy.

Being ravished, or ravishing someone is a common theme.  Non-consent and rape fantasies can get us hot under the collar even though we don’t really want to experience them in everyday life at all!  These fantasies are an entirely different thing to real rape.  Our fantasy rapist magically knows how to do all the right things to get us off… Forcing us to experience the aspects of us we deny ourselves…

Sometimes we desire to give up all responsibility and be taken care of by some impossibly perfect lover…

Sometimes we fantasise about doing acts we consider dirty with people who are taboo for us to desire…

Sometimes we desire to hurt or be hurt… Physically or emotionally… Or eroticise things that genuinely cause us distress in real life…  Sometimes we eroticise shame itself…

Sometimes our fantasies are less obvious and take a bit more to decipher.  They are complex reflections of our inner world…  as complex and unique as you are, but however yours show up we have a lot to learn by taking a closer look.

Our inner fantasy world is a stage where all the parts of us we deny can come out to play. However, while we remain in shame or denial about these aspects of ourselves, these aspects take on a life of their own and can rebel against us.  They can express themselves in destructive ways.

So what is the antidote?  Well this is exactly what I would love to explore with you in my upcoming workshops series.

In the level 1 workshop you will get a chance to explore your recurrent erotic themes.  We will also explore what happens when we create an intentional relationship with our sexual fantasies.  What happens when we trust our sexual desires as an important message from unconscious selves and cultivate a playful and compassionate curiosity about them?  What happens when we find consensual and healthy ways to live out these aspects through play scenes and role play?  What happens when we all start accepting these sexual expressions in ourselves and in each other and stop being ashamed to admit we all have them?  How will that impact us personally, and collectively as a society?

This workshop is not about trying to “heal” these desires so we don’t have them anymore but quite to the contrary, it is about embracing our denied aspects and creating healthy and super sexy outlets to play with them!  It is about turning our sexual shadows into our allies.

Likewise this workshop also acknowledges that it is possible to act out our fantasies in ways that reinforce the shame and suppression cycle and keep us prisoners.  I explore the ways in which we can avoid those traps.

In level Two, which is a four day, fully catered retreat with optional play party, I share my skills as a professional kinkster and fantasy specialist.  I show you the tools I use to create play scenes that are based on your own, and other people’s fantasy blueprints. Level one teaches you how to work out and relate to those blueprints and level two shows you how to bring them to life through play.  Next year I will also be offering a more in depth Practitioner Level Training that includes these skills and much more.

Interestingly, in my experience, unpacking our unique fantasy blueprints doesn’t kill our turn ons, but instead creates more opportunities to intentionally tap into what can be our most exciting and fulfilling sexual expressions.

It also creates really fertile ground for deeper relationship with ourselves and intimacy with our loved ones.  It brings us into alignment with ourselves and leads to a sense of healthy sexual wholeness.  For some, it can even lead to connection with that aspect of ourselves that is bigger, deeper, wiser than our everyday self.

This work is transformation though play and it’s super hot!  What’s not to love about that!

Are you someone who only ever secretly fantasises while watching porn, during sex or while masturbating but would like to learn how to get more out of these desires by bringing them into your sex life more proactively and openly?  Then this workshop series is for you.

Are you someone who has a partner with taboo desires completely different from your own and experiences confusion about this disconnect? Would you like to understand these fantasies more and learn how to play with them in ways that are mutually fulfilling?  Then come along, this is going to be really helpful for you.

Are you someone who would love to know how to discover your own, and other people’s, sexual fantasy blueprint and how to design a play scene around it that hits all the right buttons?  Well let me share my years of experience and the knowledge I have gleaned from creating thousands of play scenes as a professional.  Level 2, the four-day, fully catered retreat & optional play party will be especially useful for you.   However, first you need to understand level 1.

Are you someone who has played around in the kink scene and done-all-the-things, but feel as though there is something more possible with this play?  Something you can’t quite put your finger on?  Then this is for you too.

All genders and sexual orientations are welcome.  Singles, monogamous couples, poly folk, you are all welcome.  You do not need to have a partner to attend.

There will be no nudity or sexual activities on level 1 but in level 2 there will be the possibilities of your own expression at the optional play party. You could also easily attend level 2 without ever choosing to be nude or play in any overtly sexual ways. You are invited to participate only to whatever level you feel comfortable with at any given moment and honor your learning edge.  Safety and consent frameworks will be openly discussed and put in place. Breaches of these codes of conduct will be taken seriously and may result in your removal without a refund.

Listen to my podcast on Exploring Sexual Shadows here.

Read more about the workshops and BUY TICKETS here.

Join my mailing list to stay informed about upcoming workshops, private coaching and play sessions.

Alternately follow me on Twitter.

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSMAbout Artemisia de Vine
Sydney-based, professional & lifestyle dominatrix, switch & sex worker who specialises in creating opportunities for sexual self discovery through play scenes designed on her client’s unique erotic wiring.  She draws on her experience and training in BDSM, tantra, sexological bodywork, Taoism, personal development coaching, years of work in the adult industry and more.  Her skills and experience span the sensual to the deliciously twisted.  See her website for more.

Jul 252016
 

Artemisia de Vine discipline role play CKWarning, explicit pics and stories about Sydney-based Mistress Artemisia de Vine and her slave.

Her: “You didn’t!”

Me: “Oh yes I did!”

Her: “No way!”

Me:  “Yes, I absolutely did.  I superglued googly eyes to his cock”.

We two Mistresses laughed till we cried at the diabolical absurdity of it.  Tears literally streaming down our faces.  God I love my job!

Being a sadistic humiliatrix doesn’t always have to be terribly strict and stern.  Sometimes it is just damn entertaining.

Mistress Artemisia's Sydney slave CKThough the scene didn’t start out that way.  He kept me waiting 8mins and this is never a good idea.  I instructed him to enter the shared courtyard bathroom and strip naked.  His clothes were to be placed in a neat pile, with his tribute on top and he was to wait.  Cold…  Knowing it was a bathroom used by those in the offices downstairs…  He obediently waited.  He’s submitted to me several times before and knows it is best to obey…

When I eventually did throw the door open and help myself to his pile of clothes, he looked quite pale.  So nervous he was shaking.  I stood there fully clothed with the door open, knowing anyone could walk up at any time.  He had no where to hide.  I savored his panic and took my time…

“You made me wait 8 minutes!”  I said with a raised eyebrow.  I didn’t need to say another word as the point was clearly made.  His eyes darted behind me to check if anyone was there.

I slowly turned  and walked across the open courtyard.  It is semi private but should a neighbor from a nearby building happen to look at just that moment… I instructed him to walk behind me and I walked slowly and deliberately… him naked and me holding his clothes… him bereft of his only shield should someone walk up the stairs…

Finally I had him inside… His heart was racing, eyes struggling to adjust to the dim light.

I locked his clothes away…

“Today’s rules are very simple”, I said with a cocked head and seductively knowing smile.  I reached over and firmly cupped his chin, tipping his head up… my face inches from his.  Forced, intense eye contact.

“You are to remain erect at all times, but you are not to cum.  If you do cum, you will eat it of course.  I will make you lick every last morsel and we will continue anyway even though you are not aroused.  How you feel about it is irrelevant.  I don’t care if you are no longer enjoying our play because you are not horny.  You will obey anyway and I will not be returning your clothes until I am done with you.

Keeping an erection doesn’t sound too hard now does it?

“No Mistress”

Sydney slave edging, Mistress Artemisia CK“But you must keep that erection no matter what I do to you… We will be bring you right to the brink of climax again and again but you must not cum… This is called edging.  Do you agree to these terms?” I asked, deceptively seductive.  Afterall that sounds like a pleasurable session does it not?

“Yes Mistress”

I let a cruel smile spread slowly across my face as I held his gaze in a vice.  “Good,” I purred.

Now, now, dear readers I shall not give away all my secrets… You need to come submit to my whims to discover my tricks…

Suffice it to say that by the end he didn’t know if he was coming or going.  Two and a half hours of slowly building, pleasure, pain and desperation had him doing anything I wanted.

I had him desperate to keep his erection but made it terribly difficult by insisting he repeat back passages from “The History and Art of The Dominatrix” word for word.  Each mistake or incorrect word had… er… consequences…  Yet focusing on getting the reciting correct made it terribly difficult to maintain his erection… which also had consequences… painful ones.

Rather than opening up, this slave armors himself and steels himself against me… trying to endure everything I throw at him.  I needed him to open and surrender so I was distracting the part of his mind that is normally in the driver’s seat in order to let another part break on through… I did this by making that part of his mind focus on reciting while simultaneously overstimulating him in waves of sensations…  Sensory overload… anal and cock stimulation and torture… Sudden and intense pain…  alternating between nearly cumming and then experiencing pain to bring him back from the edge… over and over…

“The Dominatrix archetype overthrows social norms and conventions, upholding the female position of superiority and power”.  He recited with desperation in his voice…  Trying so hard to get every word correct to avoid that terrible no win, rock and hard place…  How I loved watching his struggle, not knowing what to focus on.

In the end all he could do was surrender…  by that stage he was delerious and he would humiliate and degrade himself in any way at all that pleased me…

Sydney slave superglue googly eyes CK…And what pleased me, amongst other things, was supergluing googly eyes to his cock.   Oh how I laughed and laughed!

His utter submission and eventual orgasm was cosmic.  His ego gave up and away he went… into subspace…

But that is not the end dear readers.  It is in the afterglow of this deliberate madness that some of the most profound things happen.  It is afterwards, in the still quietness where he lay broken and blissed on the floor…  Breathing the way I taught him… That is when he truly was free.

“There is no drug like this!  This is so different!  I haven’t ever felt like this before.  You’ve done it again Mistress!  I think you can’t possibly come up with something new to do me and yet you do every time! And every time we go further!  This is… there are no words… This is just wow!  You really really do know what you are doing.”

“Well done slave.  Well done.” I smile fondly as I stroke his forehead and let him soar.   I glow inside.  Peace, connection and bliss through perversion.   This is my art.

May 272015
 

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyYou should have seen my slave’s face as I dangled the keys to his chastity device over the edge of the escalator… I teased him till he became convinced I wouldn’t really do it and then with a giggle and a cock of the head, curious to see what he would do, I let them fall all the way to the shopping centre ground floor.

I was terribly amused as he scrambled to get them before anyone else picked them up… He lost all his dignity, head bobbing amongst the crowd, trying to get past the shoppers…

chastity 5Just the right amount of fear of being caught… such an aphrodisiac!

I placed my hand on his heart when he obediently brought them back to me and dropped them back down my cleavage for safe keeping. At that moment he was alive! Blood thumping through his veins and eyes bright… He was outside the social scripts now and able to see everything more clearly.

Apr 272015
 

 

Double femdom Sydney sessionsSubmit to the creatively wicked whims of two experienced Mistresses!

My dear friend Mistress Electra Amore is staying with me at The deVinery this month and we are whipping up a storm.  We play really well together, bouncing off each other’s elegantly twisted imaginations to create truly fabulous scenes.

If the idea of multiple golden showers makes you quiver, now is a great time to visit us. We are offering both short GS sessions and luxuriously long ones… Perhaps an extra Mistress to walk in at the opportune moment to add Her golden nectar?  

Or perhaps you enjoy four sets of hands going to work on your body… sensory deprivation and over stimulation… humiliation… impact play… spit roasting with two strap ons… medical examinations…  Can you handle the spotlight gaze of two dominants prodding, picking, pocking you into a submissive position?

We are particularly fond of:

  • Corporal punishment and discipline sessions

  • Cock & Ball Torture

  • Golden Showers

  • Humiliation, Objectification & Degradation

    mrs harpers dice smallerFor our spanking and caning enthusiasts, we may even switch!
    Three bottoms between us… We will challenge you to a game of Madam Harper’s traditional English Disciplinary Dice for wayward boys, errant slaves and willful husbands.  How ever the dice rolls decides who is punished, how many strokes and with what implements!


  • Alternatively stricter scenarios, roles plays and ecstatic trance spankings and canings available.  

    You are welcome to make a booking with either of us individually or both or us together for discounted rates because we enjoy playing together that much!  Contact myself on 0420 415 658 or Electra on 0412 569 969 to enquire.

    Artemisia de Vine www.consciouskink.com
    Electra Amore www.mistresselectraamore.com

     

 

Apr 122015
 


Artemisia de Vine Sydney Mistress busty CKDear Diary,

You should have seen our submissive’s overawed face this afternoon. After nearly two hours of putting him in a submissive trance state, to then find himself lying under two excessively busty Mistreses and receiving double golden showers…

Mistress Electra Amore slowly worked her way up his leg towards his groin with her golden nectar, while I  trickled pee all over his face… spilling into his eagerly open mouth…

“Thank you Mistresses! That was so good it was almost too much! You really know what you are doing!”

Then later…

Mistress Artemisia, how come I am still shaking even though I have cum already? How come I can still feel like I am floating and tingling? I can’t stand up yet Mistress, can I just lie here for a while?”

There really is an art to putting someone in a submissive trance…

Mistress Electra and I will be offering double domination sessions for the next few weeks here at The deVinery for those that would like to indulge.  Both short and long and luxurious sessions available. Call 0420 415 658 to enquire.

Feb 062015
 

 

Male slave kneeling storiesBlindfolded and on all fours he waited for instructions, his ears alert to every sound.

I waited, watching his shallow, sharp breathing.  He had offered himself to me in service and wanted to be trained to worship me just how I like it. Little did he know what that would actually mean.

I ran a finger deliberately down his spine, teasing his buttocks and then tickling his balls. Twining my fingers around them, I pulled the sack skin tight and quickly slid a tie around the base of his cock. With a twist here and there it wasn’t long before his package was snugly bound in a classic cock-tie that separated his balls from each other and from his penis. This held him stiff while also drawing the skin of each testicle taut, enhancing sensitivity.

“So you’d like the honor of worshipping my intimate nooks and crannies would you slave? My wet, velvety places?” I asked in an amused but seductive voice.

“Yes Mistress, very much so, Mistress”.

“There is a price you know. Such an honor does not come free. Are you willing to pay?”

“Yes Mistress, do whatever you like with me Mistress”.

Without hesitation the whirring of the cane sliced through the air and bit into his soft buttocks. Two, Three, Four, Five, Six in a row… Cold strokes with no warm up.

Slave yelped in pain and surprise but held his position with a dedicated determination to take whatever I dished out. While his efforts where admirable, if he thought that was the only price he would have to pay he was mistaken.

While the red welts were still blossoming across his bottom, I attached a rope to his cock-tie and I soon had his balls tied to the bed railing behind him.  This meant his cock and balls were tugged on if he tried to move at all.

I then sauntered around him to lay myself down in a luxurious pile of cushions in front of his bowed head.  I slipped my g-string off, flicking him in the face with it, and spread my legs… My pussy just out of reach…

“Can you smell that my dear slave? Take a deep breath and breathe me in. Does that smell good to you? How badly do you want to serve me? You can worship me if you can reach me… Prove to me that it is about my pleasure, not yours…”

He hesitated.  He longed to please me, to taste me, but he would have to strain against the cock and ball bondage in a very painful way to make me come.

He reach forward, struggling to reach me. He was clearly in quite some discomfort and couldn’t help moaning in pain as he endeavored to prove himself to me.

I moved slightly further away and laughed, “Come on slave, I thought you wanted to worship my pussy? I thought you said it wasn’t about your pleasure, it was only about mine?”

He groaned in dismay and strained to reach me, this time clearly in quite a lot of pain as the bondage pulled on his cock and balls. Still desperate to reach the holy grail nestled between my legs, he pushed himself…

“You know I take quite a long time to come slave, we could be here for a while… my clitoris is higher up… come a little closer…”

 

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyBased on a real life session with Sydney-based Mistress Artemisia de Vine
Disclaimer: Don’t try this at home unless you’ve been shown how to tie the cock and balls in a way that will not damage the ductus deferens when tugged. See Artemisia’s  website here

Find out more about Slave training Goddess Worship Sessions here

Follow her on Twitter: @ArtemisiadeVine

Sign up for her mailing list

Feb 052015
 

 

male slave kneelingSlavehood is a vocation, comparable and equal in every way to any religious calling. — J. Mikael Togneri

I really need a service oriented slave… or servant… to help me tend this Temple of Perversion.

Someone to:

* Let me practice on them and use them for kinky experiments.
* Someone willing to tend to my equipment with reverence.
* Someone to drive me around.
* Help me plot interesting kinky games to play… come up with ways of making them happen…
* Someone to be my personal assistant in all things BDSM as well as other erotic arts.
* Yes this includes loads of fun opportunities but also includes cleaning, grunt work and unpleasant tasks to make my life easier.   Sometimes it is boring.  Sometimes outright unpleasant.  Don’t make the mistake of thinking being in service to me and my work here at The deVinery is always easy.
* Someone reliable, punctual, polite, dedicated & with useful skills to offer.
*Someone who sees service as a lifestyle and important aspect of who they are, not just a fun game to try to get free sessions out of me.  

***Big bonus if they are good at admin and/or editing.***

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyOf course, we need to enjoy each others company. There needs to be connection.  I am actually an introvert so if they drain me rather than feed my energy levels with their presence I am unlikely to continue the arrangement.  They need to understand and be passionate about the way I approach my BDSM, domestic discipline and erotic exploration as I have very particular visions and prefer someone who can play a support role to those visions.

What do you get out of it? Well to be swept into my mad world of course! It is awfully fun in here.  Read through the rest of my blog  and websites to get a feel for the erotic arts I have dedicated myself to and for my attitude towards those entrusted to my care.   My kink site and my sensual erotic arts site.

For a service oriented person service is its own reward.  If you are not fulfilled by service then this is not the right position for you.

For a slave or servant who proves themselves, there is an opportunity to go on quite a journey of self discovery.  I will place them under my protection and negotiate ways to support their journey into Dominance and submission as appropriate to our particular dynamic.  Training, nurture, punishment and opportunities to blossom are all possibilities.

No I won’t have sex with you.  Nor is this a romantic arrangement.

All genders welcome to apply.

maidIf you are such a creature, copy and paste the below questions into an email, fill in the answers and send it to artemisia@consciouskink.com.  Should you be successful in your application you will be interviewed.  Here you will have the opportunity to ask me all the questions you need to ensure I am worthy of your service, because it works both ways.

Those that make it to the next stage will be granted a trial period with training.  Mutual agreements that suit and benefit us both will form during this time.  The more honest, grounded and realistic you are in answering these questions the more likely I am to take notice.

Name:

Age:

Gender:

Profession:

Best contact:

Your location & how long it would take you to get to me here in Glebe, Sydney:

Attach a picture of yourself so I can get a feel for you.

butlerWhat does service mean to you?

What experience, if any, have you had being in service?

What was the most rewarding and motivating aspect of that service?
(If you have had no experience, what do you imagine that to be?)
What have you learned simply doesn’t work for you?  Deal breakers?
What can go wrong you would like to avoid?
What do you honestly need in order to dedicate yourself in service? Emotionally, physically, spiritually?

What do you need from me realistically?  Time, attention, emotional connection, respect, safety, appreciation, punishment, personal development, play time etc

Why are you interested in serving me and my temple of perversion, The deVinery, in particular? Why me?

What are you realistically offering in terms of:
* Time per week (Remember to realistically factor in your job, family etc)
* Skills (cooking, admin, kinky furniture making, sewing, massage, business skills, diplomacy etc)
* Acts of service (cleaning, driving me around, grocery shopping, massage, thoughful gifts, lifting, carrying, gardening etc)

The de Vinery temple to the erotic

From your perspective and in your own words, what is my work all about?

How are you the right person to play support role to that vision?

When and how did you first know you were service oriented?

Which of the following archetypes is closest to describing you? Number them with 1 being most like you and 9 being least like you:
* Slave, owned and collared
* Servant
* Maid
* Butler
* Personal Assistant
* Best friend and support actress to my leading actress role
* Knight
* Trainee wishing to learn my arts and willing to work for it
*Other, please specify

Attach any references from previous service or other well-known and respected members of the kink community.

 

 

 

Jan 102015
 

 

 

Artemisia de Vine femdom Sydney CK logoDear Diary,

Today I enjoyed testing the flesh of a new slave.  I was in a cruel, sadistic mood and wanted to see what he would do to please Me.  I stripped him of his name and his eyesight by placing him in a hood and then made him prostrate himself before Me.  Slave position… Kneeling with forehead to the ground, hands out in front, palms up, offering himself to Me, his Mistress and his Queen… legs spread to expose his soft, vulnerable places for Me to inspect.

I reminded him that while wearing My collar, he is nothing but a vessel for My entertainment… That it wasn’t about his pleasure but all about Mine… and that I was in a petulantly bored sort of mood in desperate need of a diverting distraction.

He foolishly agreed to be my toy and I purred to Myself.  Let the games begin!

Mistress Artemisia slave sadistic sydney CKI soon had him trussed up, nicely vulnerable… exposed…  legs spread in the air and hands fastened securely above his head… helpless to escape but still able to move a little should he struggle.  This small amount of movement was intentional.  I had a little game planned for him.  I like to torment the mind as well as the body…

In our pre-play consultation, I had discovered slave particularly loathed golden showers.  Useful to know…

I placed marbles on his belly and told him that if he kept perfectly still no matter what I did to him and kept the marbles from rolling off, he would please Me and eventually be set free.  However if the marbles rolled off I would be displeased and he would have to drink My golden nectar.

exposed slave bondage sydney CKThis of course was a diverting game for Me.  I was a entertained for a good couple of hours…  I enjoyed visiting all sorts of teasing unpleasantness on him… nipple torture… cock and ball torture… different unexpected sensations from gentle stroking to sharp searing in delicate places…  and of course, with such a nicely exposed asshole I was too tempted not to torment it.

“Oh but slave, you should be honored to drink My golden nectar.  It is an elite vintage.  I could bottle it and sell it for a fortune.  Other slaves would be delighted to taste My tang on their tongue.  I should make you gargle it and guess the bouquet.  Can you hear Me drinking more water in preparation?  I am brewing a special batch just for you.”

To this slave however, the thought was revolting so the imagery kept him even more obediently still.  As much as I would enjoy forcing him to drink, I actually had other plans.  Torture is so much worse if you choose it yourself… To him drinking My urine was hell.  So much so that he would willingly beg Me to do other painful things to him, and dear diary, I do ever so love a begging slave.

Still while I had him nicely bound and psychologically tormented I may as well see what else I could get out of him.  There was no rush, I didn’t want the game to end too soon.  I wondered what dirty things were in the secret corners of his mind that he had never told a soul?    What things would make him he die of embarrassment  if his friends, team mates and colleagues knew?  I do like having leverage over My slaves and knowledge is power.

I gloved up and pretended to lube up his bottom in preparation for penetration.  However I instead of lube I used a generous amount of deep heat, massaging it into his delicate pucker and slathering his balls with it.  I then stood back and waited for him to realise what I had done.

Artemisia's slave Sydney hood CKIt didn’t take long… Soon whimpering began to escape his lips and he looked distinctly uncomfortable.

The marbles teetered dangerously but slave was determined not to taste My urine.  He managed keep them balanced in a neat row on his quivering flesh.

“Your bottom is looking nice and vulnerable slave?  How is it feeling?”  I asked in amused mock sympathy.

“It burns like nothing else Mistress!” He said breathing sharply and clearly miserably but still determined to prove himself to Me.

“Oh good.  That pleases Me. Though… it is a rather tight hole…  I think it needs stretching, don’t you?”

He gulped, not sure how to answer.

“What no answer slave?  I shall take that as a yes.  Unless…  unless of course you entertain Me in other ways?  I paused a moment to let hope simmer…  Perhaps you’d like to tell me a story? ”

“A story Mistress?”  His confusion was priceless.

sadist ass spreader speculum femdom BDSM CKI didn’t answer for a moment.  I lubed him up and penetrated him with my finger for a while, then inserted one of my favorite toys… the ass spreader…  He would have felt cold metal sliding into his anus.  Probably initially a relief against the burning… I gave the screw a few turns so it slowly began to open his hole, giving him a taste of what was to come.  His confusion about what was happening brought a smirk to My face.

“I tell you what slave, I will begin stretching your asshole open nice and wide.  You will soon want Me to stop.  When you have confessed to Me a dark secret fantasy you have never told a soul I will cease stretching and apply tabasco sauce.  This is a new level of burning but you will beg for Me to do it… unless you want Me to continue to open your hole wider… and wider… and wider…

In order for Me to stop stretching you, I must be convinced it is a true story you have fantasised about slave and I will know if you are lying.  If I am not convinced I will continue stretching until I am.  Your hole is delicate and tight so I would hurry up if I were you”.

A lovely dilemma.  He does not want more burning.  Chili on top of deep heat is significantly unpleasant but very soon the stretching would be so much worse.  Again, I do love it when slaves beg me to torture them…  The trick is to get them to beg for the lesser evil.  I also love humiliating them.

“What is more slave, I am going to make a little video of this.  I am going to record you confessing your perversions to Me.  Perhaps I will keep them secret and safe… perhaps I will put them on the internet for all to see… It depends on how well you please Me”.

I turned the screw a little more, widening his hole to show I meant business.

“Now begin.  Make it good”.

This was a terribly fun game for me!  It went on for some time, with Me slowly turning the screws and opening him wider and wider.

Needless to say I forced some very entertaining confessions from him…  Confessions that had him blushing furiously and Me laughing all the way.  I could tell he was blushing because even though he wore a hood his chest turned bright red.  Beads of sweat turned to riverlets on his flesh… He confessed about fantasising doing some truly dirty things with people who would be shocked if they found out.  I will keep this information in the vault for now…  This knowledge will prove useful in future I am sure.

chili Mistress Sydney anal tortureBy the end he was begging in earnest for Me to fuck him with a tabasco sauce covered dildo… Which I did with glee.  I pushed that chili covered phallus into his strectch and aching bottom, generously spreading more sauce on his sensitive pucker and some for his balls too.

Ooh didn’t slave squirm!    Yet as much as sweated and groaned, he obediently held still enough to not drop the marbles.   I laughed in delight the more he suffered for Me.

This amused Me for some time but Mistress always wins so the marbles had to fall.

I let him think he had almost won his freedom then, without warning, yanked the nipple clamps off.  He cried out in shock and an involuntary convulsion dislodged those marbles and sent them rolling across his flesh almost in slow motion… then one after the other there was an ominous clang and clatter as they dropped to the floor and rolled across My dungeon.

“Oh dear, slave, after trying so hard for hours it looks as though you will still have to drink My golden shower after all.  Not a drop is to be spilt…”

I let that simmer for a moment…  Slave whimpered in dismay…

“Unless of course you beg Me to cane the soles of your feet instead, and thank me for the privilege of being beaten.  What would you prefer slave?”

bastinado sydney mistress foot tortureBeating the soles of the feet is called  bastinado and is really quite intense.  I knew this slave was a sportsman who had to go running later that night… which would prove difficult with sore, bruised feet…

Predictably, slave was soon pleading with Me to use the cane on his soft tootsies…

I took my time to let anticipation build and then whoosh! The cane sung as it sliced the air and sunk into his restrained feet.  He was beautifully tied up in rope bondage with no hope of getting away from Me.   After each slice of pain, he shuddered and gasped, trying to get his breath back.  As soon as he could form the words he dutifully thanked Me for my sadistic attentions and begged for more.

“Stroke One, thank You Mistress, may i please have another…”

Another cruel thwack biting into his tender feet.

“Two thank You Mistress, may i please have another…”

More and more…

“Twenty four thank You Mistress, may i please have another…”  he whimpered, clearly unable to take much more.

Finally I was satisfied.

Well… not quite. I had one last cruel game to play before I sent him back out into the world.  I untied him and led him to the shower.  I had him stand there naked in front of Me.

“Now slave, would you like you to be allowed to cum today?”

“It’s up to You Mistress”.

“Yes I know it is up to Me, but would you like to?”

“Yes Mistress,” he answered uncertainly.

Good then perhaps I will reward you for suffering for Me.  Play with yourself and let me know when you are getting close to climaxing…  However remember I own you.  I own your cock and I own your cum.  You are not to cum without my permission, do you understand?

“Yes Mistress”

I watched him with My arms folded and an amused expression as he tugged away pathetically at his cock.  It was sore and red from the earlier cock-caning and other CBT ministrations but I have learned a man will walk through fire in order to be allowed to cum.  He played with himself, looking both embarrassed and turned on.  His cock began to stand to attention and it wasn’t long before it was straining and stiff.  I watched him start to get close… his eyes closing, his chest heaving and his face making a grimace like they all do when about to orgasm.

“May I please cum Mistress?  I am so close!  Please may I cum?”

Without warning I grabbed the shower hose and turned a full blast of icy water all over him, shocking him out of his arousal.

“Why of course not you dirty little slave!”  I laughed as I held the stream of water mercilessly on him while he scrambled into the corner to get away.  “Of course you can’t.  How entertaining that you thought this was about you!  It is of course all about Me.  Think about that as you struggle around the running track with sore feet and blue balls tonight.  Every step a reminder that you are here to serve Me.”

Based on a real session with Mistress Artemisia de Vine.

NOTE:  There are always layers upon layers of psychological play going on underneath the actual activities in any given scene.  Every scene is negotiated to suit the individual wiring of both myself and the person I am playing with and consent and de-brief is very much part of this process.  I am always struck by the beauty of someone who is so thoroughly cracked open in submission… the trust in me to guide them safetly through this torment…

Slave’s primary intention for the session was not to get horny. It was to submit. Horny feelings may or may not be part of that. What he needed was to truly believe he was not in control anymore and to let his ego go in surrender so he could fly. 

My role is to take on all the ego so he can be free of his…  There is great pleasure in power tripping… Win/win really.  Ironically we end up in the same place… He gets there through the back door while I get there through the front.  There is magic in the intimacy of Domination and submission. 

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyABOUT THE AUTHOR: Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Domme and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness.  She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevent to their personal journey.  She loves to explore pleasure, the Mysteries of Existence and just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.   She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.  She is at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

If the link between BDSM and shadow work intrigues you, you may be interested in reading this blog on Conscious Kink and Humiliation Play.

Another play scene story that may intrigue you: BDSM as Theatre of the Soul: An erotic tale of Sadistic Degradation

And A tale of public Humiliation
A
nd Dear Diary, Today I made my slave…

Website: www.consciouskink.com
Subscribe to mailing list
Follow her on Twitter

 

Dec 162014
 

Artemisia de Vine antique queen final kinklogo

 

Welcome to the Temple of Perversion!

Select worthy slaves and submissives are chosen to be trained to serve this voluptuous Goddess in intimate body worship… just how I like it… until I am thoroughly satisfied…

Artemisia de Vine femdom Sydney CK logoI can be sensual and intimate, slutty and degrading, or strict and cruel…

Queening… scented oil bathing ceremony… exquisite mindful touch… and training to truly enter into service body and mind…  To receive the touch I truly desire, I guide you into an aroused, meditative-like place of erotic flow and instruct you in how to pleasure Me.

Depending on my whim and your progress in training, this may include pussy, arse and breast worship.

Artemisia de Vine

Artemisia de Vine

I allow the time to truly peel back the layers of your psyche so you enter into a space of service.  Entering The de Vinery is a timeless experience, a feast of the senses… desires of the flesh, and the secret spirit within… Here is the unfolding of the shadowy, hidden corners of your being…  Here you find freedom in the bliss of submission…

To worship the intimate crevices of the Goddess and drink of Her nectar is de Vine indeed!  To witness her in the throws of ecstasy… Sometimes, slaves are honored with female ejaculation…  Some slaves are honored with golden showers…

For those more advanced, tantric energy exchange techniques can be included in the worship ceremony.

If I am pleased, I may reward you… If not… you may be subjected to My punishments… or My perverse whims… some sessions are sensual and intimate… some are about teaching you your place… or using you for My entertainment…

Artemisia de Vine femdom Sydney logoWe will find where our erotic wiring naturally overlaps and play in those zones. Consent and flavor of session is negotiated in a thorough pre-play consultation.

Sessions vary greatly depending on person to person, mutual agreement, mood, and intention.  Can include: Queening, face sitting, female ejaculation, golden showers, smothering, sensual tantric worship, slave training, energy worship/cycling, role play, punishments, restraint, rewards, orgasm denial, orgasm control , ritual and much more…  See other  BDSM and Mistress sessions available here.

90mins $400

2hrs  $500

2.5hrs $600 *recommended

Apply by calling direct on 0420 415 658
Email: artemisia@consciouskink.com
Website: www.consciouskink.com

Dec 112014
 

Mistress Artemisia Sydney Pro Domme TealI forbade my slave from releasing the contents of a generous enema then insisted he perform a hundred vigorous star jumps.  I eyed him with amusement as he struggled to obey.  This was part of his obedience training and he needed to learn that his body no longer belonged to him.  Even the basic functions of eating and evacuating body waste were  no longer under his control.   I am Mistress.

He continued to jump up and down as commanded but the difficulty of holding the contents of the enema in became increasingly intense and nearly impossible to contain completely.  Of course he had to lick up any drops he spilt on my bathroom floor… and there was quite a bit of spillage despite how desperately he tried to hold on…  So down on his hands and knees he went to lap up every drop of water that leaked from his anus.

All his holes are mine to use.  If I want him to lick anal juice then he will lick anal juice.

Just when he thought this torment was finally over I announced there would be fifty cold strokes of the cane before he would be allowed to release the enema.  He was cramping, red faced and pleading…  I took my time slicing into his tender bottom flesh again and again.   Caning hurts more when one is tense… but he did not dare unclench.

When he was truly frantic with desperation I allowed him to sit on the toilet but I made him wait even longer while I counted down slowly… ever so slowly… from ten… really testing his obedience in the face of intense discomfort and bodily distress…

When finally I let him release I stood over him watching his humiliation with amusement.  Being witnessed noisily exploding leaves little room for dignity…   A reminder that even his right to privacy belongs to me…

After several minutes of bowel explosions, I had him  stand in the shower, bend over and spread his buttocks while I hosed him down thoroughly with cold water… This was just the preparation for the rest of our play session…  The real torture was about to begin…

Pain, then pleasure, then pain again… edging… riding the crest of the wave but forbidden to cum… used… degraded… begging… humiliated… When I finally decided to let him ejaculate of course he was forced to eat it all… I waited until it was cold and he was no longer aroused…  A reminder that his obedience is about what I want, not about making him horny…

I’ve been humming happily to myself all afternoon.

There is a level of intimacy and trust when playing with our shadow side that you just don’t get when we only see each other’s “nice” persona.

I did what it took to convince his mind he was no longer in control so he could let go and fly… he offered himself up to me in sacrifice for my entertainment… and believe me I was entertained…  A beautifully perverse arrangement between consenting adults.

Enema timeAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Domme and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness.  She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevent to their personal journey.  She loves to explore pleasure, the Mysteries of Existence and just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.   She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.  She is at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

If the link between BDSM and shadow work intrigues you, you may be interested in reading this blog on Conscious Kink and Humiliation Play.

Other Blogs about real play scenes you may enjoy:  De Vine Torment: Sydney Mistress tortures Her Slave

BDSM as Theatre of the Soul: A Tale of Sadistic Degradation

Website: www.consciouskink.com

Subscribe to mailing list
Follow her on Twitter

 

 

Dec 042014
 

 

 

Artemisia de Vine Conscious Erotic ArtsMy name is Artemisia de Vine and I am a Sydney-based sex worker who specialises in the conscious erotic arts with a greedy appreciation for the deeply sensual through to the utterly kinky.  I am a classically trained BDSM, kink & fetish professional as well as a domestic spanking & discipline switch, erotic massage and conscious sex practitioner and occasional GFE (girlfriend experience) escort.  I am often asked why my sessions are so deliciously unique and seem to satisfy on such a deep level.

My Philosophy is that we can use our sexuality for escapism or for self discovery.  I choose to focus on the later.  If we approach our adult play time with awareness, a sense of open curiosity, bringing our whole selves to the table, our sexuality is not only deeply satisfying but an avenue to discover ourselves.  In some cases this leads to profound personal growth and transformation as we step more fully into our whole being.

The best way I have found to go about this, is through following our erotic cookie crumbs through our inner landscapes and express this with lusty play.  Fun, real and sexy as hell!

The primary reason for my sessions is not therapy though often there are therapeutic side effects.  The reason is because we are inherently sexual beings.  So much of the world fears sex because it truly is powerful.  It has the potential to be destructive or incredibly beautiful.  It can lead us home to ourselves.  By owning our sexuality, all of it, secret dark corners in our minds as well as loving lushness, we create a conscious relationship with ourselves and our lovers.  I am fascinated with how consensual exploration of the full spectrum of erotic possibilities within us with can not only be incredibly hot but can lead us home to ourselves and make us whole.

My Sessions Suit those who sense there is something more to sexuality and yearn for a skilled, open-minded companion to play, explore and discover with.  I create spaces where you can be just who you need to be in the moment.   You do not need to worry that I will impose kink on you if you are a sensual being or vise versa.

The focus is helping you uncover who you really are as an erotic being once the socially prescribed sexual scripts fall away.  I design sessions around your unique erotic “fingerprint”  in conjunction with my own erotic wiring.  I find sessions are just so much more satisfying for both of us if we take the time to find where we naturally overlap and play in that zone.  Clearly there are some things I am not drawn to so will recommend other practitioners if necessary.

My sessions focus on the journey, not just the destination so I recommend a minimum of a 2hr booking.

Artemisia de Vine antique queen final logoBut Where to Start?  Initially we just chat on the phone for a few minutes to get to know each other and feel into whether or not we are compatible.  If it feels right we arrange a booking.

In order to create the place for authentic sexual expression, I offer a consultation process as part of the booking.  I ask questions that draw out things you may not even be aware of about yourself, make suggestions of things you might like to explore with me and teach you simple but effective techniques to aid you in dropping down into the experience more fully.  The more we approach sexuality with awareness the more we can fully turn up with all of ourselves.  The erotic is so much more fulfilling when we open and include the physical & the psychosexual.

This in-depth consultation is part of discovering just who you are and what is erotically possible for you. It is about arming you with the skills needed to get the most out of our play time.  It is also part of allowing the time get out of our heads and into our bodies, peel back the layers and allow our (not always conscious) desires come to the fore.  As such it is part of the session and is best done leading into play time.

However skype session consultations are possible if you prefer.  They cost $150, which is taken off the price of your booking should you choose to go ahead.

Which Session is for me? 

I have two websites, for the sensual erotic arts and one for my kinky side.  You may not fit neatly into any of the below categories and that’s ok.  We can work design something especially for you in our consultation.  However below is a summary of the different aspects of me to give you an idea of the types of sessions I enjoy.

Mistress Artemisia Sydney Pro Domme TealMistress: No mere dabbler in BDSM, I am a classically trained Mistress who has dedicated over ten years to perfecting her art.  I can be wickedly playful, sensually enticing or strict and sadistic depending on my whim. Either way I will ignite your senses and crawl under your skin, deep within your psyche.  I take charge with an elegant, cat-like grace and confidence born of natural dominance, intelligent perception and a deep knowledge of the hidden world of dark fantasies. I delight in pulling your strings and making you dance to my tune… to the tune that is also reflected deep within you… I love that unmasked moment of surrender, where you cannot be anything but your true self.  Witnessed, held, taken…

Check out my blog for stories about the kinds of sessions I get up to.    See the variety of BDSM sessions available.

Note: Mistress sessions are not full service.

 

Kinky Role Play:  I love to explore just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behavior and nudge our boundaries.  I access all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but do so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved. I am at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

Besides! Playing with our forbidden fantasies and exploring power can be super hot! Be it Aunt/nephew, Age Play, Boss/Employee, Teacher/student or many more scenarios. Feel free to email me the gist of your fantasies. I generally like being the one in charge but will switch for the right gentleman.

Maybe full service: case by case negotiation and different fees apply depending on content.

 

Lady spanked mirrorIMG_7257-2 copySwitch/Submissive: For select gentlemen I enjoy switching and taking the submissive or bottom role in kinky play.  This may or may not be sexual depending on what we negotiate together.    The kinds of sessions I like to switch in are usually role play or discipline sessions however I am open to discussing other possibilities.

(Sex is not the main focus of these session but may be included as an extra towards the end).


Domestic Discipline: 
Traditional corporal punishment, spanking & discipline sessions have a whole different culture than BDSM.  I am pretty mad about every to do with it and happily take the role of either spanker or spankee in these sessions.  See more here including my spanking gallery.

 

erotic massage sydney logoErotic Massage Practitioner: Hot oil… soft, soft breasts… exquisite, full body skin on skin sensuality… surrender to the pleasure of highly skilled touch…  My sessions are far more than a “rub and tug”. These sessions are for those that truly want to delve into their eroticism and tantalize the whole being. This sumptuous array of sessions suit those that wish to surrender to full being pleasure, explore deeper and discover even more.  Read why my prostate massage sessions are so famous here.


Conscious Sex Companion: Have you ever wished you had a personal, skilled courtesan to explore with? Someone to make your erotic journey the object of their skilled, holistic and compassionate focus? Someone, attractive, friendly, seductive and knowledgable in the conscious erotic arts? Do you have a sense that there is something more to sex but are not sure how to access it? I am part guide to the Mysteries… part lover and playmate… For it is through a combination of conscious exploration and play that we find the treasure… I hold the space, play the role needed, provide the atmosphere and know-how for you to holistically explore your own unique sexual universe.  See more here. 


plus size sydney escort busty bondeEscort (GFE): 
For for select gentlemen who wish to enjoy a playful, sensual time with me to relax, unwind, explore and treat ourselves to un-rushed pleasure, I offer the girlfriend experience. This session is for those times when you do not want to focus on learning tantra or other conscious erotic exploration but just want to enjoy the company of a warm, friendly voluptuous woman. Time to be held in my soft bosom, stroked skin-on-skin and loved up. Let’s pleasure each other in my erotic oasis.  Here is a blog about what it is like on a GFE date with me.

About Me:  I have pretty much dedicated my life to the erotic arts.  I learn from every sexuality professional and pioneer I can.  What do I do with my holidays?  Go learn more sex geekery and put it together in creative ways to create experiences and opportunities for explorers of eros.  It is my life and my passion and I love nothing more than to help people access their full sexual and/or kinky potential.

I draw on aspects of sexological bodywork, lomilomi, tantra, Taoism, BDSM, somatic psychology and many other mindfully embodied practices.
At a Glance: I am a voluptuous, blonde, 39yo with creamy white skin, luscious G cup breasts and size 16 womanly curves.  I stand 5 foot 6 or 166cm without heels.  There are galleries on both websites.

Contact: I prefer initial contact to be via a phone chat so we can get a feel for whether or not we are on the same page.  However, if you cannot get hold of me, feel free to shoot me a text or email and I will get back to you.

Contact and Fees for Sensual sessions. 
Contact and Fees for Kinky sessions. 

Nov 012014
 

 

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyAs I shoved his face into my toilet and began to secure his head in place with plastic wrap he gagged a little and began to resist.   I grabbed a tuft of his sandy hair and pushed him back into position.  His naked knees scrambled on the shiny white tiles, hands struggling against leather restraints behind his back.  With no way to balance himself he was easy to push around.   He was forced to comply.

“I thought you said I could do whatever I liked to you slave? Are you taking back your promises so soon?”

“No Mistress,  I’ll try harder Mistress,”

“Yes you will… but soon you won’t exactly have much choice in the matter,”  I smiled to myself as a rush of sadistic pleasure coursed through my body.  I love this game.

I tugged on the collar around his neck,  slipping cold metal chains through the loops with an echoing clatter and then wrapping them around the toilet.  I soon had him chained to the cistern, padlocked in place, face squarely over the toilet bowl.  I slipped the key into my cleavage for safe keeping.

“Now you will really have to impress me to be let free slave, and I am going to test your resolve,”  I told him in a calm, slightly amused tone.

“Yes Mistress,”  he replied, his voice betraying his nervousness.

I shoved his face further into the toilet and resumed plastic-wrapping his head in place.   I could feel the power rush coming on, slowing everything down…  making me feel so alive… the throbbing in my veins became connected to the beat of all Life.  The sound of plastic being unrolled, became amplified, squeaking and straining as I stretched it up over the back of his head and down around the toilet bowl… passing it through underneath and back up around again…  round and round until he was unable to move his head at all.

I stood back, wiped the hint of moisture from my brow and admired my handy work, catching a glimpse of satisfaction on my face in the bathroom mirror.  I turned and stared at myself as I stood over my little silk worm snug in his perverted cocoon.

Mistress Artemisia de Vine crop logoMy womanly shape was highlighted by an elegant sheer slip while black fake fur draped my shoulders highlighting my excessive bosom.  The soft curves of my breasts swept down to a tightly corseted waist and widened again considerably to frame voluptuous hips and thighs.  I reached up and twisted the pearls around my neck fascinated by the way my wild blonde curls made me look so deceptively innocent.

I just adored the juxtaposition of such lady-like femininity against the flushed with raw power and cruelty on my face.   I was no mere girl, posing with a whip and looking pretty to tantalize men’s gaze.  My reflection showed a mature kind of attractiveness that can only come from those who have explored themselves… from those that carry an inner knowingness and calm confidence.   My beauty doesn’t come from picture-perfect features,  it comes from being a fully fledged woman in her power.

My attention returned to my slave.  A familiar visage.  Yet another powerful corporate man, naked and bent over in the perfect position to leave him feeling exposed and degraded.  His bottom poked out in easy swiping distance and his s0-called manhood, his cock and balls, dangled nice and vulnerable for me to reach should I so choose.  The way he was fastened there left no way for him to protect them from me…  and he was rock hard.  He was loving this even as he experience a myriad of challenging emotions.

This is what they don’t understand, I thought to myself.  Those sweet eyed, well-meaning, yoga folk and their conscious living.  They are all meditation and green juice but they do not understand that in order to really be whole, we have to own all of ourselves, dark twisted bits as well as the love and light.

Owning our shadow and creating a conscious relationship with it, is part of the spiritual path.   The dark side is in us… always there…  snarling in the depths… hidden in the corners of our hearts and minds…  We are All Things, us mad humans… We are consciousness in an animal body capable of every kind of horror and wonder under the sun…

The more we deny it by trying to control it or suppress it, the more is pops out in other areas of our lives…  and the more it controls us, taking the steering wheel from deep within our unconscious and creating havoc in unexpected areas of our lives. The dark-side butterfly effect.

Owning this aspect of me is what makes me whole.  BDSM is theatre of the soul where we live out all our archetypes… all of them get voice… With consent and awareness this kind of lust, cruelty and power play can lead us Home to ourselves.  Being filthy is the holiest thing I know how to do.

Without warning I stabbed air holes through the plastic with a skewer, sharp metal piercing jagged fissures right near his vulnerable face… him unable to move out of the way.  He could surrender and trust or remain in fear.

He jumped and strained but could not escape… he hadn’t let go yet… He was still holding onto control… to the illusion that he had an impact on the outcome of our play.  The blood pumping through his jugular veins pulsed at a rapid rate…  His breath was sharp and shallow in his chest fogging up the plastic-wrap… Adrenalin.

I let him brew for a while, anticipating what would happen next while I prepared the next part of our little game.  No doubt he could hear me opening draws, scraping metal implements against the bench top…

As I got out the ginger root I had been brewing in the fridge and began carving it into a suitable shape, I could feel the animal in my body mirroring my slave’s rush.   The smell of his fear mingled with the fiery pungency of ginger juice set off the cat-like sadist in me.  A primal urge within just wanted to toy with him… degrade and humiliate him… peeling away the masks of his ego and his resistance until the core of him was exposed…  This lawyer, used to being in control… stuck in his head justifying his existence through logic and rhetoric… denying and suppressing his emotions… his feelings… his instincts… yes, this lawyer was to be broken down.

My role was to bring him face to face with all of that, dragging him squirming and screaming to stare his vulnerability in the eye…  To shatter the illusion of order and control…   Initiate him into his very fear of helplessness, and ultimately, into facing his own inevitable Death… where he could finally surrender to the peace of the void beyond.  Freedom.  Home.

But he is not on this journey alone.  I may be acting as his guide but I am on a journey of my own.  There is pleasure seeing him stripped of his dignity.   There is pleasure in cruelty and in feeling powerful… In playing God.  When engaged with through conscious exchange of power like this, it can lead me Home too.

The game is this.  I strip his ego down until he submits and surrenders remembering who he really is under all the constructs while at the same time I build my own ego up until it is a fiery supernova, exploding and setting me free to be my core, authentic self.   We are both heading to the same destination… him through the front door and me through the back.

Mistress high heelsHe could no doubt hear my slow deliberate steps as my stiletto heels clicked ominously on the tiles, signalling my approach.  His body tensed, every sense alert.

I began speaking to him in a soothing, hypnotic, lullaby tone while I traced one finger down his spine… down the small of his back…  slipping between his buttocks… and circling the ring of his anus.  My voice and sensual touch a contradiction to my words…

“Now darling slave, I am going to make you suffer for my pleasure.  There is no escape from this so you may as well accept your fate.  I enjoy seeing you squirm, hearing you beg and knowing you are doing this in service to Me.  There is nowhere to go… no where to be… there is only Me.  I am your entire world… your entire Universe… until I choose to let you go.  Nothing else exists but your submission to Me and whatever I choose to inflict upon you.  Do you understand?”

He swallowed, sweat breaking out and glistening on the little blonde hairs on the back of his neck even as he leaned into the pleasure of my touch.

“Yes Mistress”

“Good boy”

I continued the hum of soothing sadistic lyrics, all the while massaging and opening his anal sphincters in preparation for my next little game.  I took my sweet time, allowing his hunger to be penetrated to grow.   I could feel myself entering ‘the zone’ in connection to him.  My words dripping like poisonous honey from my tongue, curling like incense smoke through the air… slipping into his ears and wrapping around his mind…  The wildness of the forest… both Mother and Destroyer entering his body…  The more he unfolded and floated, the more we became in synch…  My breath matching his…

The world disappeared and time became an irrelevant concept.  There was only us in this moment.

He began moaning in need, leaning into my finger in an attempt to get me to enter him.

“You like that don’t you little slave?  I think you want something from me don’t you?”

No words, just moaning…

“Oh you don’t want anything from me?  I guess this is all you will get then,”  I teased.

I pressed against his hole with pleasurable little pulses and waited while he worked through his confusion about how he was supposed to act.

“Yes Mistress, I do, but I am your slave to do with as You will.”

“I like it when you beg like the horny little slut you are, slave”.  I could feel his hope rising… his anticipation of being filled and fucked warring with his embarrassment at being made to speak his desires out loud.

“Is there something you would like from me slave?”  I asked again.

He leaned into me in an attempt to get out of saying the words, trying to show me what he wanted with his body rather than suffering the humiliation of begging.

I stopped all stimulation and stepped back, leaving him bereft of my touch.

“I will only ask you one more time, and if I do not hear what I want to hear then you will miss our entirely.  Now, is there something you want from me slave?”

“Yes Mistress, please fuck me Mistress”.

“Oh you want me to fuck you do you?,” I mocked, as I leaned back in and began to seduce his arse hole again.

“Yes Mistress”

“Well then you had better beg for it my pretty boy.  I do so enjoy seeing a powerful man on his hands and knees, face in the toilet, begging to be sodomised.  Please do entertain me before I get bored and wander off.”

“Please fuck me Mistress, please fuck me up the arse,”  he said, embarrassment and resistance making his voice faint.

“Louder please.  And tell me what a little whore you are.  How you will do anything to please me.”

“I am your little whore, Mistress! Please fuck me up the arse!  I will do anything you say Mistress, please just fuck me!”  he said with more conviction this time.

“Now we are getting somewhere, but I am not convinced yet.  I also want warn you that should I grant you this wish, there will be a price.  There is always a price.  Are you willing to pay it?”

“Yes Mistress!”  he was starting to sound more urgent, “Yes I will do anything you say, I am your little slut, your play thing.  Please degrade me, use me, do as you please to me!  I am yours Mistress.  Please fuck me!”

ginger butt plug, figgingWith a satisfied smirk I slipped the head of the newly carved ginger butt plug  into the opening of his hole and began easing it into him.  The effects of ginger take a while to kick in so at first he just writhed in pleasure, opening himself to me.

“Take a deep breath, then breathe all the way out and push down as though you are trying to push the toy out,” I instructed.  As he obeyed, I felt his sphincters relax and I slipped the rest of the ginger in.  The wide base held it firmly in place so it didn’t disappear altogether. I generously thrust it in and out stimulating his prostate and coating every sensitive area with fresh ginger juice.   He bucked with pleasure… to start with…

Then the burning began…

He became confused as his pleasure turned to intensity.

“Mistress!  It burns!  What is it Mistress?”

“What is it?  It is what I want it to be,”  I replied amused.

He began to writhe with a different kind of urgency now as he struggled to process this new experience.   I strapped the butt plug in place with rope and cleverly positioned knots, stood back, folded my arms and watched.  I was purring like the pussy who got the cream.  I do so love to watch a man struggle until he realises the full extent of his helplessness.

The burning built steadily in strength and with each passing minute his begging for me to remove the ginger increased.  He wriggled and strained against his restraints to no avail.

“Oh does that burn does it slave?”  I asked in mock innocence,  “I did tell you there would be a price didn’t I?  You thought it was all about your pleasure didn’t you slave.  Did you think because you paid a tribute for this session, I was here to get you off?  Actually, you are here to entertain Me.”

The more I mocked the harder his cock became, even as he suffered.  More importantly, his normal mind-state had shifted.  He was no longer dominated by the logical, ‘talking self’ part of his consciousness.  He was drifting into a different place within.

“Yes Mistress, I am Yours to do with as you please,”  he squeaked.

I reached down and pinched his nipple, hard, knowing that he would clench in sudden pain, squeezing more ginger juice out and setting off another level of burning.  I followed this sensation with a mixture of pleasurable cock sensations and volley of hard slaps against his buttocks.   Pleasure, pain, pause….

He grunted, his bottom blossomed with red hand prints and an endorphin rush kicked in moments later.   He was getting close now, I could feel it… close to the edge… he just needed a little shove and he would drop, deep, down into subspace and fly… and I would be right there with him, feeding off his reactions and riding high with my own twisted Top space.

“Oh poor slave, you are burning up.  Would you like me to cool you down?”

I didn’t wait for an answer.   I straddled his head, one leg over each side, my thighs pressing against his ears.

“Tell me again how you are just a thing to be used for my entertainment slave.  Tell me again how you are nothing but a fuck toy.  An object.  Owned body, mind and soul.

“Yes Mistress he cried out, inhibitions abandoned now, “I am everything you say.  I am Yours entirely!”

With that, I reached down, slipped my knickers to one side and spread my pussy lips wide open.  I felt the tingles of rushing energy through my body as the urge to urinate built until I could hold it not longer.  I began to relieve myself on his head…  As I let go of my very full bladder, another, more difficult to define, dam broke within me and I snarled with the pleasure of it. I was all powerful Goddess, marking My territory.  Piss splattered on the plastic wrap, forming yellow pools of urine…  and then showered steadily down through the carefully positioned air holes… pungent streams of piss trickling down his face, drenching him thoroughly…  Wayward rivulets entering the corners of his mouth which he licked at greedily, fully in his animal self now…

That was the trigger we both needed.  I felt his whole energy shift.  He just dropped in utter surrender with me riding his back all the way Home.  A moment of living awareness… of being all that is left when the social scripts and ego illusions are torn away…   Just being pure consciousness flying together in ecstasy.

This was not where we engaged in sexual climax to end the scene… This was just the launching pad…  Just the beginning of our play…

Mistress Artemisia de Vine Sydney Pro Domme AzureAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Domme and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness.  She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevent to their personal journey.  She loves to explore pleasure, the Mysteries of Existence and just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.   She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.  She is at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

If the link between BDSM and shadow work intrigues you, you may be interested in reading this blog on Conscious Kink and Humiliation Play. 

Website: www.consciouskink.com
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Oct 112014
 


sexy submissive housewifeAs far as I am concerned, heterosexual M/f submission is not an excuse to have a housewife who doesn’t threaten your ego by speaking back or challenging your opinions. It’s not an excuse to live an unexamined sexist lifestyle that reinforces the status quo. It is not an excuse to avoid self-awareness or difficult feelings.

Submission may look very much like a 1950s sexist dynamic from the outside… or not… but the difference is where it is coming from.

The kind of submission I resonate with is not about obliviously reinforcing structures of privilege (sexism, racism, hetero-centrism etc)… it is not even about rebelling against those systems… It is about self exploration with another that includes playing with and owning our secret shadow selves through erotic play… through conscious power negotiation… through awareness of where we sit within privilege systems and choosing to interact with them and ourselves with heart and well, consciousness.

It’s a path that takes some serious bravery and vulnerability from all parties. It takes in-depth communication from all involved. A submissive’s opinion, feelings and intelligent mind are not silenced but valued. It is a journey of personal transformation, connection and intimacy like nothing else I’ve known.

It takes the abuse and damage caused by sexist and other privilege systems and turns it on its head, creating something exquisitely beautiful because it is based on consciousness, trust, respect and love… and because while we are agreeing to Dominant and submissive power roles we are doing so from the base assumptions that both roles are of value. We are in fact equals but we are not in a system of equality so that needs to be negotiated intentionally.

Temptation logoAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based professional and lifestyle Kinkster.  She is a natural Switch (both Dominant and submissive at different times).  She specialises in BDSM play sessions that focus on exploring, playing and personal discovery with heart and awareness.  Read more at her website Conscious Kink.

Sep 112014
 

 

racist request number blockedMy beautiful colleague and fellow sex worker, Amber, received this enquiry today.  As you may guess from the context of the enquiry, Amber is black.  It made her feel ill.

If you have trouble reading the image, it says:

“Say 7:30-8pm for an hour/two depending on if you do doubles, black slave white masters role play etc with two handsome/physically fit white south Africans :)”

It is just wrong on so many levels. Fractally Wrong.  It is hard to know where to start!

However, when I finally I stopped fuming on Amber’s behalf, it did get me thinking about how to go about power exchange play within the context of a society rife with systems of privilege.  How do we negotiate our forbidden fantasies while also taking into account issues of racism, sexism etc?  Whether you are approaching a sexuality professional or a personal lover, these things bare weighty consideration and clearly folk like the above punters need lessons!

Many people excuse this sort insensitive sexual request by saying “Oh, it is only a fantasy”.

NewTrayLet me say, I’m a  professional dominatrix and switch so you better believe I role-play all sorts of politically incorrect fantasies.  I’m no prude when it comes to going hard to wrong-town and getting my freak on.  I honestly believe that when approached with awareness, sensitivity and consent, living out our forbidden fantasies can be deeply healing, not to mention superbly hot!

I would never, ever send a text like that casually asking for a racist session!

That said, some people, who are subject to real life racism, do in fact choose to live out eroticised versions of their pain.  I know because they have approached me.  So let us explore more appropriate ways of going about it.

Our amazing psyches erotise real life wounds and trauma in an attempt to transmute pain into pleasure.   When we do this consciously it can be empowering.  It can be a journey into owning our erotic shadows and making them work for us.

FurnitureFor example, it is very common for people to have sexual fantasies about being degraded or used… yet they do not really want to be degraded or used outside of a sexual context…  It is very well documented that lots of people enjoy rape fantasies but most definitely do not really want to be raped for real…

Some men enjoy having the size of their cock mocked in an erotic role play sense and yet in real life want their cock appreciated and admired…  Many women enjoy being called a slut or a whore during sex but in every day life hate being sexually harassed on the street or slut-shamed for expressing their sexuality…

You get the picture.  We often erotise what which hurts us the most.  The reasons for this are too complex to go into fully here, although if this topic interests you, you may enjoy this blog.

With this in mind,  I believe consensual, race-based, power exchange role play has its place.  It is possible to make the conscious choice to explore this aspect of the human psyche with willing participants.

However,  it is essential to do this in context.  We are living in a society where racism is insideously ever-present yet seemingly invisible to those on the privileged end of the race spectrum.   Race-based role play is situated deeply in systemic-level pain that is oh so real for the individuals within it.  Basically, racism is real kids and we need to take that into account.

 

On this day in 1957, 15-year-old Elizabeth Eckford encountered an angry mob when she attempted to enter Little Rock Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas

On this day in 1957, 15-year-old Elizabeth Eckford encountered an angry mob when she attempted to enter Little Rock Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas

It is very dicey for the for the party who comes from the benefiting side of racism to initiate this kind of play.   It is just astoundingly inappropriate for a white person to approach a person of colour randomly by text and ask them with no preamble or sensitivity!  This sort of request could be soul-crushingly offensive to someone who is already suffering.

Not everyone who has experienced racism is going to erotise it just like not everyone who has genuinely been oppressed for being a sex worker is going to eroticse being called a whore…  and not every man who has felt pain at the size of their cock will get off on being humiliated by it…  We all have different coping mechanisms.

But for those who do process racism by eroticising it, like all power-based sexual fantasies, it can be hugely hot and healing if initiated by those on the oppressed side of the coin… While race play is not my personal turn on, I’ve had clients request this of me and we had immensely powerful sessions together that have left us both stunned at how positive the outcome can be when done right!  However, they approached me and I provided the safe space for them to explore what they needed to.

If those on the privileged side of racism do initiate race play,  they damn well better have a thorough understanding of racism and be consciously doing everything possible to be sensitive about it… and actively contributing to a world without racism… They better have an openly stated intention to explore their own role in systems of privilege too otherwise they are just reinforcing the status quo. 

 

The enquiry Amber received is a yet another unconsciously racist micro aggression that Amber has to put up with.

Oww_Papercut_14365Micro aggressions are like a death of a thousand papercuts.  They are just a momentary wince, but to be on the receiving end of them day after day after day, it leaves your psyche a bloody pulp.  After years of this, yet another paper cut is enough to make you scream! 

 

everyday-sexism-bookIt is a similar story with gender-based power exchange  in sexual role play. Those that are on the benefiting side of sexism, damn well better be aware of it and be sensitive about it before approaching those that are oppressed by it.  Especially if asking them to play the role of sexual submissive, engage in sexist dirty talk or enact sexist stereotypes.

 

ilovelucyspankingThis isn’t just relevant for overt kinky role plays.  This is relevent for sex between non-kinky heterosexual couples too.  It pays to get active consent before assuming that is your job to take the lead for instance…

I am a Switch.  That means sometimes I take the dominant role and other times I take the submissive role in my kink play.   When I sub I sometimes like to live out sexist fantasies.

Sometimes I really get off on being called a slut or a whore or being ordered into my place.  Sometimes I like having my power taken away and being told what to do.  Sometimes I like overtly sexist banter while I am bent over someone’s lap and thoroughly spanked…

The truth is,  sexist power exchange is one of my hottest turn ons!  It is also one of my most painful realities as I am on the receiving end of sexist micro-aggression after sexist micro-aggression on a daily basis.  This stuff is genuinely wounding me in real life.

This means that I only feel safe and healthy playing these games if my male play partners are not blind to their gender privilege and if they approach me in such a way that shows respect and asks consent.  No leaping in there assuming because they have a cock and I have a pussy, they are going to take the lead in the sexual dance!

Privilege systems are complex and can work the other way too.  Many men prefer their lovers (of any gender) to take the lead but patriarchal themes make them feel ashamed of this.  Sexism has negative effects on pretty much everyone.  However for now I’ll stick to my main point.  That is, if you belong to the gender who only got the vote less than a century ago, it can feel really invasive to have someone from the gender who has had the vote for centuries, assume power over you.

Unfortunately we live in a world that is still full of unconscious gender and race privilege.  It’s in the very walls of our institutions.  Centuries of sexism and racism don’t just go away.  We’ve come far, and I’m proud of us for that, but we still have a big old hang over to deal with and privilege systems are still very much a problem.

ending racism So how do we go about setting up power exchange play in a healthy way when privilege is involved?

To do systemically privileged power play well, it is best to start by demonstrating your awareness of the issues when approaching a potential play partner.  Show, don’t tell them, that you understand the issues around power imbalance and empathise with their experiences.  

If you don’t have a clear understanding of these issues then damn well put in the time and effort to research it.  It’s time for some self-examination and education!  Make it clear to your potential partner-in-crime, you want to go about this play in ways that lead to less sexism and racism in the world.

gender equalityOnce trust is established and you have agreed to play, it is important to put systems in place to make a healthy outcome.

Personally I have a thorough pre-play consultation to establish boundaries and intentions together and put safe words in place to stop the action if things get too raw.   I also factor in a healthy de-brief and integration period afterwards.  Nothing rushed.

I arrange for aftercare where love and genuine respect is shown to all parties.  We may have been really mean to each other during sexy play times so this is important to bring things full circle.   Keeping in contact for several days afterwards is part of the process as these things can unfold for some time.

Participants may need to talk about how the play effected them in the context of every day lived experiences of racism or sexism.  Listening with presence and full attention is the way to go.  Having our voice heard by those who benefit from privilege systems is a huge part of healing.  It then allows space to hear how these systems are actually hurting everyone.  It helps us become a team working for mutually beneficial outcomes.

I also like to put in place a plan for how to handle things if any trauma buttons get inadvertently pushed mid-play.  In the rush of fight, flight, freeze or emotional melt down it helps to have tools prepared to manage the situation.  This can include agreeing to use safe words, communicating what is going on for you and then, if appropriate,  just holding each other tight while breathing slow conscious breaths until the emotion has moved on and we are calm enough to work through it… or keep playing as it appropriate…

It may sounds like I take the magic out of the play by doing all this but actually the opposite happens.  Once there is a safe container established, we are free to push each other deep into areas of play that otherwise wouldn’t be possible.  With the safety of trust, respect and big-hearted intention towards each other, we can create the space to fly!

When approached consciously, kinky power exchange play can lead us home to wholeness in ourselves in the most unexpected ways.  Perhaps even help heal racism and sexism overall.  Society is after all, made up of us.   Microcosm/macrocosm.  Dealing with the big problems as they appear in miniature versions in our personal relationships may be the only real way to make a difference.

Artemisia de Vine

Artemisia de Vine

About the Author: Artemisia de Vine is a professional dominatrix, switch, sex worker and practitioner of the conscious erotic arts based in Sydney, Australia. Described as elegantly perverted,  she sports a greedy appreciation for the full spectrum of human sexuality, from the sensual to the elaborately kinky.   She is passionate about helping people explore their unique erotic wiring through play sessions.  She approaches sexuality as a form of self discovery with the potential for great pleasure, connection, personal transformation and most of all, fun!

Website: Conscious Kink:

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Sep 082014
 

Artemisia nude submissive CKThe truth is, life is hard. Keeping busy and fucking casually for our dopamine hit is just another numbing drug. It doesn’t work. Another distraction… The core self will feel the misalignment… The lack of meaning and purpose… We just keep finding more extreme sexual conquests and activities to keep the pain stuffed in its box.

I can’t play that game.

My invitation as a BDSM specialist, as a whore… and as a lover… is to open deeply, bravely, richly to all that is. My role is guide and playmate in engaging with sexuality, from the sensual to the kinky, as a means of exploration not escapism. Peeling back the masks and layers… Discovery of self, of each other… Of this whole damn, wonderfully messy, being alive business… We can use our sexuality to create something beautiful and meaningful.

That’s my offering to the world and the only thing I can see worth dedicating myself to.  If this resonates with you I invite you to come sexplore with me.

HeelsAbout the author:  Artemisia de Vine is a practitioner of the Conscious Erotic Arts and has a greedy appreciation for the full spectrum of human sexuality, from the sensual to the kinky.  She specialises in Conscious Kink and BDSM but is also very well known for her conscious sexuality, erotic massage and escort sessions.

For BDSM and kink sessions see here.

For Conscious sexuality, erotic massage, escort sessions see here.

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