Dec 132016
 

artemisia-de-vine-prAs part of the sexological bodyworkers collective, I am presenting a workshop on Embodying Sexual Fantasy in the Educational Erotica weekend held in Sydney this coming February 18-19.

Twelve of Australia’s leading sex educators are gathering for a unique weekend of the most practical, interesting and concept shifting sex ed on offer – artfully facilitated with heart, humour, wisdom and fun.

Presenters and Weekend schedule Here 

Tickets Here:  Early bird is available until Dec 20 if you are looking to buy a Christmas gift for a loved one that will bring you closer together.

Embodying Sexual Fantasy Workshop with Artemisia de Vine

This workshop takes a closer look at the role of sexual fantasy and asks the questions, what happens when we create an intentional relationship with our fantasy selves?  What happens when we hear the inner voice that is speaking to us through our fantasies?

This is a chance to explore how things shift when we move our sexual fantasies from the head, into the body through consensual, embodied play scenes, based on the recurring emotional themes that emerge.

From enjoying imagining certain body parts, to imagining what it would be like to have sex with a certain person right through to elaborate, sometimes taboo, storylines, most people engage with sexual fantasy. Sometimes these fantasies can seem to go against the grain of our own moral compass bringing about inner conflict and confusion.

With a playful, compassionate, curiosity, I will guide us into peeking under the hood of our sexual fantasies. It is a good beginning for those interested in exploring the hidden corners of our sexual psyche and turning our fantasies into our allies.

Note: Even though I am a professional dominatrix, this is a workshop on sexual fantasy, not on BDSM/kink as such. BDSM themes may come up but equally so may sexual fantasies of any kind. Clothes remain on in this workshop and while we do have a chance to engage in embodied learning, we will not be engaging in sexual activities. You are invited to participate only at the level you choose to at any given time.

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSM CKBio: Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Dominatrix and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness. Her expertise extends beyond BDSM as she is a devoted student of the erotic arts from the sensual to kinky edge play.

She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevant to their personal journey.

She loves to explore the erotic psyche in relation to the Mysteries of Existence and engages play styles that asks just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.

She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.

She is at heart, interested in exploring the ways in which owning our suppressed side can make us whole and how creating an intentional relationship with sexual fantasies can lead us home to ourselves.

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Oct 162016
 
london-2

 

artemisia-strict-disciplinarianHere I am in London, the city of smacked bottoms and let me tell you, I like it.

In my first week I was invited to join Miss Elsa Svenson in disciplining two wayward gents. There is something so fabulous about travelling to the other side of the planet and walking straight into a school room scene with the chance to wield the cane. I had been jet lagged, disoriented by being in a foreign country where nothing seemed to work as I expected and feeling overwhelmed by the London underground. Strange as it may seem, it was the sound of crooked kaboo and dragon canes slicing through the air and landing soundly on school boy bottom flesh, that helped me feel grounded. Ah, yes this is feeling is home.

 

 

 

Miss Elsa Svenson: Good old fashioned discipline

Miss Elsa Svenson: Good old fashioned discipline

Miss Svenson

is a no nonsense, strict disciplinarian with a large collection of corrective tools that have been beautifully broken in over many a bottom. Slippers, taws, straps of all thicknesses and levels of severity. She is the headmistress personified and is strictly non erotic in her administration of behaviour correction. I liked her immediately.

We are talking about the possibility of doing some filming together before I leave with me as a new teacher in her school, bringing Australian flavour to detention time. You can see some of her clips here. Also, you can follow her on twitter.

 

 

kentmistress0390I also had the privilege of seeing Miss Eleanor Sullivan in action. This woman is brilliant at a severe telling off and harsh, heavy-handed spanking. She was relentless in her ministrations. I was impressed with her endurance. She also appears in some of Miss Svenson’s clips and you can follow her on twitter.

three-disciplinarians

Eleanor Sullivan, Elsa Svenson & Artemisia de Vine smiling after thoroughly disciplining a naughty peeping tom.

I also learned that it is possible to have a naughty boy bent over all three of our laps at the same time, in such a position that we can all easily access his bottom. If two ladies sit side by side on chairs, opposite the third lady who is facing us on her chair… knees touching and slightly interlaced… then the naughty boy is bent over all of us and we can all manage quite a good swing.

We took turns beating his bottom for being a peeping tom. A thorough slippering from his “mother” and the “girl-next-door” who he had been spying on, as well as her “mother”. Oh my! Three incensed women putting him in his place. What a un/lucky character he was.

Electra Amore roleplays Irene & Artemisia de Vine play Ella

Electra Amore roleplays Irene & Artemisia de Vine play Ella

Switching!

While back in Sydney I am far more often the disciplinarian, I am here to experience both sides of the coin. I have accepted a few appointments with polite gentlemen who wish to bend me over their knee and am looking forward to it, if with some trepidation. I have my advert on spankee finder, so may be tempted to accept a few more opportunities to experience what I normally dish out, if gentlemen approach with the right attitude. These will be in London central, Woking & perhaps Birmingham if there is enough interest to take the trip.

Email me or contact me on my UK number 07340716336.  You can also follow me on twitter or join my mailing list.  See my spanking gallery here. 

 

Mr Possum, my travelling companion has tasted the delights of lovely English bottom flesh too. He was tight-lipped about details as a gentleman should be but he did have an extra twinkle in his eye and spring in his step after enjoying the company of Lily Ann last week. He has a few more lined up spankees. We are in the process of setting up a blog for him to tell his own tales, publish his prolific spanking stories and talk about the Australian scene. Keep an eye out for that.

 

New Disciplinary tools

Meantime, I have ordered several new implements from David at Quality Control and have my eye on several more from The London Tanner. I am hoping to meet a few other implement makers while I am here. I will be eager to test them out so let me know if you are keen to offer me your bottom in a session. I see people of all genders.

A big thank you to all those of you who have reached out to make me feel welcome, offered to play tour guide and proffer tips about the local scene. Please keep the invitations to spanking parties and events coming.

Sep 102016
 

The below spanking story is written by professional disciplinarian & switch spankee, Artemisia de Vine and contains: Bare Bottom spanking & caning as well as a double figging, embarrassment, humiliation, assumed patriarchal family roles and eroticised sexist concepts.  Irene teaches her half sister Ella a lesson in lady-like behaviour.  Pictures are of professional Mistress Electra Amore and Switch Artemisia de Vine role playing Irene and Ella.

 

 

Irene’s back was stiff with cold formality and her silver soup spoon clanked a little louder than it needed to against the delicate china bowl. Little droplets of creamy butternut splashed onto the pristine white table-cloth.   Oblivious, her new boyfriend, Harold, continued to sneak glances at Ella’s ample cleavage across the table.

“Interesting choice of frock for a family dinner, sister dear,”  said Irene with a deceptive causal tone.  “Wherever did you get it?”

“Yes it was a great find!” replied Ella, purposely ignoring the hint of venom in Irene’s polite sentiments.  “I got it on sale at that cute little boutique near the old Princess Theatre.  It was the last one left and fits like a glove.”

“Shame they didn’t have any other sizes left.  Perhaps one size up would have been a little more modest.”  said Irene through a fixed smile that did not reach her eyes.

Ella’s sweetly plump face reddened in recognition of her half-sister’s mood.  Her nostrils flared slightly.

Of course taunting Ella had the opposite effect that Irene wanted as now all eyes focused squarely on Ella’s milky bosom threatening to spill out of her low-cut black V-neck with every indignant breath.  To make things worse, an attractive blush blossomed on her chest and cheeks.

“It’s a perfect fit,” said Harold appreciatively, “Very nice indeed”.

restaurant set

restaurant set

There was an uncomfortable adjusting of pearl necklaces and shuffling in seats as the rest of the extended family felt the ripple of tension. Uncle Victor, the religious one in the family, was clearly the most uncomfortable and his bulbous red nose, twitched in disapproval.  Only cousin Jack remained laid back in his chair and looked amused at the show.

Aunt Rachel, a prim, grey haired lady of social graces and an ever-present urge to play peace maker, coughed delicately and interjected, “Irene tells me you have a yacht and are going to spend the summer sailing the Greek Islands, Harold.”

“Yes!” boomed Harold magnanimously, “I was going to announce that after dessert.  You are welcome to join us.  You too, Ella,”   He grinned, returning his attention back to his girlfriend’s half sister.

“Really!  I’ve always wanted to go.  That would be lovely!”  beamed Ella.  Her mind filled with visions of bikini clad sun baking and cocktails on the deck.  While she came from a family of money, she did not have a lot of her own so this was a wonderful opportunity.

spilt-red-wineThere was a clunk and crash as Irene’s wine glass fell to the floor, spraying velvety shiraz down her cream shirt and all over the rich oranges and earthy tones of the Persian rug.

“Oh dear!” she tutted, feathers clearly ruffled.  Her hands trembled slightly as she brushed at the stain, but she only succeeded in smearing the wine further.

“Are you alright my dear?”  Harold asked, suddenly reverting to attentive boyfriend.  There was much fussing and concern for Irene but no one lifted a finger in a practical sense.  Ella thought, not for the first time, that should her family suddenly have to look after themselves, evolution would simply wipe them out.  Their survival skills revolved around how to best hire someone else to do the work for them.

Miss Brown, the family housekeeper, rushed forward with a dust pan and began cleaning up the mess with starched efficiency.

“How clumsy of me!”  muttered Irene, “Please do excuse me while I go change.  Ella, would you be so kind as to give me a hand?”

“Of course!”  replied, Ella, hiding the foreboding she felt welling up in her stomach.  She knew how jealous Irene became if she wasn’t the centre of her lover’s attention.

They had this sibling rivalry since they were teenagers and it still flared up now they were in their thirties.  Irene was a brunette with a perfect hourglass figure and the air of a well-bred lady.  Plump hips, curving into a small waste and flaring back out again to large shapely breasts.  The sort of breasts that hung like fruit on the tree of temptation, thought Ella, with a  flash of her own jealousy.  Irene had the kind of curves that caught the eye of most men and was used to receiving admiring attention.  Surely she could share a little harmless admiration here and there?

Ella was all blonde curls and dimples and was the larger of the two ladies.  Larger curves meant larger breasts.  Ridiculously large.  Her figure may not be quite as perfect an hour-glass but she made up for that with her excessive cleavage.

As soon as the two women were through the hall and out of ear shot, Irene grabbed Ella by the arm and guided her firmly down the hall.  “What do you think you are doing?” hissed Irene.  “If Daddy were here you wouldn’t dare wear such a dress to a family dinner!

“What are you talking about, it’s not that bad! Let go! You are hurting my arm!”

Irene flashed an angry look at her sister but kept her back in perfectly dignified pose as she continued to stride purposefully towards her own quarters.  She didn’t say another word.  Ella didn’t know what was more disconcerting, the fuming silence or the pain in her arm as Irene’s grip tightened.

Finally, Irene relinquished her hold in order to push open the heavy wooden door of her room, revealing luscious cream rugs and a four-poster bed.

“Honestly Ella, I can’t believe you still haven’t grown up!” scolded Irene as she unbuttoned her shirt, revealing an electric blue satin balconette bra that framed her own assets to beautiful  advantage. “It is completely inappropriate for you to wear something like that to dinner.”

“Really Irene, I don’t know why you worry so much.  Harold loves you, he was just having a little peek.  Men do that, they can’t help themselves.”

“You always do this!  You down play the havoc you cause with your immodest dress.  Did you see how uncomfortable poor uncle Victor was!”  She said unzipping her navy linen skirt and letting it pool around her ankles to reveal matching blue satin knickers and a suspender belt holding up seamed stockings.

“I see you have romantic plans for the evening,” Ella teased, “Perhaps tonight’s entertainment will turn out to be good for you after all.  It may bring out the passion in old Harold.”

Refusing to rise to the bait, Irene strode over her to her carved, rosewood wardrobe and selected a simple, elegant, black dress.   She pulled it up over her ripe round bottom and straightened the snug fit around her tiny waist.

“Come here and give me a hand with the zip will you?”

Ella did as she was asked but showed no signs of apology.

Irene’s face was once again the picture of perfect calm as she smoothed her hair and adjusted her earrings in the mirror.  She contemplated Ella in the reflection over her shoulder.

“So think you are coming to the Greek Islands with me this summer do you?”  she asked dangerously calm.

Ella tidied her hair nervously. She recognised that tone and knew her sister was up to something.

“Well yes!” A hint of uncertainty and defensiveness coloured her voice.  “Harold has invited me directly,  you heard.  You know how much I have always wanted to go.”

“Hmmm… I think perhaps he may be persuaded to change his mind about that.”

Ella’s eyes widened.  “Come now, there is no need to be like that.  I know you feel a little jealous right now but it will all blow over in a jiffy and Harold will be all over you in a bikini when we get to Greece”.

“Really?  You still haven’t learned have you.  You have no idea how uncomfortable you make everyone when you wear a dress like that!  You are such a child!  If only daddy was still here to bend you over his knee for a spanking like he did when we were young.  Though perhaps if he had of spanked you more often, you would not be so spoiled now.”

“Oh ha ha.  Now you are just being spiteful.”  snorted Ella

“No actually I am quite serious.  I really have had enough of you flirting with my boyfriends.  I have reached the very end of my tether.  You can prove to me that you have learned your lesson and changed, or no Greek Island adventures for you.”

Worried now, Ella paused and fidgeted with a blonde ringlet, trying to think of a way to pacify her sister.

“Look Irene, it really isn’t that big of a deal… “ she began but was cut off by the icy look Irene shot her.

“Alright, I will go and get changed if it bothers you that much.  Though your lovely Harold may wonder why both of us got changed when wine was only spilled on your blouse.”

“No it is too late for that.  I really want proof you’ve changed.  I can’t have you bouncing those breasts of yours all around the Aegean if I can’t trust that you’ve truly learned your lesson.  You will have to satisfy me or miss out on the holiday.”

Ella sighed impatiently, “Ok fine.  What is it you want me to do?”

A brief smile flashed across Irene’s face.  She could see several moves ahead in this game of chess and could take her sweet time.  Ella had no idea she had already lost.

“I want to give you the spanking you deserve.  If you are going to be so childish, I am going to treat you like a child and give you a sound spanking just like daddy would have.”

Ella just scoffed dismissively.

Irene did not smile.  She stood there, dignified, with one eyebrow raised.

“Oh I am perfectly serious sister dear.  What is more, you will take whatever punishment I choose to dish out until I am satisfied that you have learned your lesson.  That, or miss out on the holiday.  It is up to you.”

Ella’s smile faded as it began to dawn on her that her sister was not messing about.

“You are not serious!”  protested Ella clinging to denial.  “You know how much I want to come on holidays with you!”

Ella begged and pleaded but Irene would not be moved.  It was a sound spanking or no Greece.  Seeing that her only hope of bathing in sun bedazzled water and flirting with shirtless sailors, was to get back on Irene’s good side, she reasoned to herself that a spanking would be over very quickly, but a holiday would last all summer…

Still not really believing she was doing this, Ella said, “So you will be happy with a spanking?  That will sort your mood out and we can all get on with having a lovely time?”

“A proper spanking and suitable punishment until I am satisfied you have truly learned your lesson,” Irene repeated.

“Ok fine, if it will get you out of this sour mood!” conceded Ella rolling her eyes.

irenes-dresserA slight smile curled the corner of Irene’s mouth as she re-applied her frosted berry lipstick in the dresser mirror.  She was silent as she dabbed a little perfume on both wrists and then, taking her time, turned around.  Leaning back on the dresser’s edge, she contemplated her half-sister.  After several weighted moments she reached a conclusion and pronounced it in definite tones, “Go into Daddy’s office and assume the position he used to insist on.  Wait for me there.”

Ella laughed nervously.  “Are you serious?”

Irene replied serenely, “I couldn’t be more serious sister dear.  I am fed up and now I am going to do what should have been done a long time ago.  Go now and wait for me.”  She turned back to the mirror as though Ella’s obedience was an unarguable certainty.

Ella paused but the thought of being left behind while everyone sent postcards from her dream holiday irked her too much.  Besides, it couldn’t be too bad.  The spanking would have to be over quickly she repeated to herself, or else everyone at the dinner table would wonder what had happened to them.  They would not start the next course until both women returned.  Yes, just a quick spanking and it will all be over. As ridiculous as this is, I shall just play along and let Irene have her little power play.  She will feel better soon. Then we can all get on with the fun.”  She slipped out the door and down the hall, red satin slippers silent on thick carpets.

As with all these old houses, artwork hung on the walls with candlesticks and vases on elegantly carved side tables were dispersed at intervals.  She passed a portrait of daddy and glanced up.  He was Irene’s daddy too. How formal and stern he looked in this painting!  His temples greying against his dark curly hair and neatly trimmed beard. Oh how she missed him!  He was such a strong, supportive presence in their lives.  True, he had occasionally had to discipline both girls, and their brother Freddie too, but he had only ever done so for their own good.

Ella rubbed her bottom unconsciously as she remembered being bent over his study chair.  “Irene is right”, she thought, “Daddy wouldn’t be pleased with me wearing this dress.  I guess I hadn’t thought it all the way through…. Still, he is gone now and I am a grown woman.  Besides it was harmless really.  All men look! I can’t help it if I am well endowed”.

office-book-caseShe wandered further down the hall until she reached the brass door handle of daddy’s office.  She hadn’t been in there in years.  As the door creaked open she let out a little gasp.  It was all exactly as he had left it!

His heavy wooden desk dominated the room with it’s carved lion paw legs and leather banker’s top.  A large ornately framed mirror hung on the wall behind his high-backed brown leather chair.  Surrounded on both sides of the mirror were floor to ceiling bookcases full of all her father’s favourites.

Ella kicked her shoes off and sunk her toes into the rug.  Wow, just coming back in here made her feel like a young girl again.  She spun slowly taking it all in. Lamps, maps and oddities her father had picked up on his travels filled every available surface.  Another mirror leaned against the wall by the door. She remembered her father telling her it was too large to hang.  When she was young, she never thought to question why a man would want so many mirrors in his study but now she was older, it struck her as a little odd.

But then she saw the red velvet armchair and forgot all about it.  It was the chair that her long-dead mother used to sit and read in and Daddy had never had the heart to remove it. He had long imaginary conversations with her memory even well after he re-married.  Perhaps he even discussed how to raise her, mused Ella.  But this chair also had another history…

Daddy had spanked his offspring in different positions depending on the severity of the misdemeanour.  If he was giving them a hand spanking for something naughty but not too bad, he would bend them over his knee.  If the crime warranted a bigger swing than was possible sitting down, he had them lean on their elbows on the red velvet armchair raising their bottoms high to make an easy target.  If they were really bad, they had to bend over the desk so their full weight was supported should their knees buckle.

Ella had never been made to bend over the desk but she remembered watching red-faced Freddie bent over it as he received the strap followed by the cane on the day he crashed his mother’s car.  The whole family had been marched in to witness his disgrace and he had been made to lower his pants in front of them all!

Ella shuddered remembering how sore his bottom had looked after that sound thrashing!

Suddenly the door creaked open behind her.  She hadn’t heard Irene walking down the hall across those thick carpets.

“You aren’t taking this seriously at all are you!” She tutted severely as she swung the door open.  “I told you to assume the position and here you are daydreaming!  You are only going to make this worse on yourself you know.”

“Fine!” retorted Ella, rebellion warring with desire to make peace and get it over with.   She strode over to the red armchair with exaggerated fawning obedience and bent over, leaning on her elbows for support like she had as a young girl.  “Yes Ma’am!”

Irene was silent.  She didn’t say a word or make a move to come closer.  Ella began to feel awkward, and a burn of embarrassment rise in her cheeks.  She felt silly bent over in front of her grown sister but stubbornly refused to turn around and see what Irene was doing.

Still the silence continued.  A soundless battle of wills.  Both women determined not to let the other get the upper hand.

Eventually Irene spoke.  “I don’t think you should be afforded the protection of that dress, sister dear” she said with quiet confidence.  “It will only serve to lessen the sting.  No it will have to be lifted out of the way”.  Before, Ella could protest, she stepped forward and swiftly raised the hem of Ella’s offending dress, sliding it up over her round bottom and folding it neatly on her waist.

Ella tensed, shocked, but was determined not to give Irene any more satisfaction than necessary.  She didn’t know how to respond.  Her mind raced.  Here she was a grown woman,  nearly forty years old and her little sister was determined to make this punishment as humiliating as possible by lifting her dress and exposing her knickers!  Frantically, she tried to remember what underwear she had thoughtlessly put on that morning.

Irene stood back and admired the effect her action had on her sister. She had noticed Ella’s quickened breath.  Her plump, creamy bottom was framed in full-brief black satin underwear and matching stay up stockings.

“Planning on seducing someone wearing those stockings were we?”  asked Irene with deadly calm.

“No not at all!” Ella exclaimed, realising that her choice of undergarments would ignite Irene’s jealousy all the more.  Especially if she thought she had designs on Harold!

“You really have no shame do you sister?” Irene shook her head, her face the picture of offended modesty.  She tapped her black patent shoes against floor in irritation.

“Well if you insist on having your breasts out for the whole world to see, I don’t see why you shouldn’t also have your bottom exposed.  It seems fitting considering how you got into this mess after all!”

Irene reached out and slipped her thumbs underneath Ella’s underwear  and began to pull them down.

“Are you serious!” croaked a mortified Ella, standing up in horror and wriggling to get away.

“Absolutely!  You keep asking that and I assure you I am serious. It is time you learned the price of your immodesty and since our daddy isn’t here to teach you I shall just have to take you in hand myself.  Now stand still.  I won’t believe you have learned your lesson until you understand the impact your actions have on others and show you are willing to make amends by taking your deserved punishment.

Ella just stood there in disbelief.  Did her sister really want her to bare her bottom!   She stared at her Irene, trying, and failing, to come up with a response.  She gapped but no words came out.  All rebuffs had fled her mind.  It really was a no win situation.

After several tense moments she realised that her only choice was to protest and lose her trip to Greece or obey and get this over with.   Feeling thoroughly embarrassed she painstakingly bent back over the chair, gripped the arm to stop herself from leaping up again and submitted to Irene’s humiliating directions.

Irene made a small sound of victory in her throat and leaned forward in a cloud of musky perfume and self-satisfaction. Again she hooked her thumbs under the elastic and theatrically pulled down her sister’s underwear.  She took her time knowing full well the embarrassment she was stirring in her sibling.  She pulled them down low enough to ensure no modesty remained but then let them bunch neatly.  She was fastidiously neat and always had been.

Then she stood back to enjoy the effect.  She knew she had hit the mark because Ella’s breathing was a short and sharp despite her attempts to hide her shame.  Teaching Ella her lesson was not without its enjoyment.

The bottom before her was a lovely one.  Not the rear of a slender young teenager but rather full, ripe, woman’s buttocks.  Plump, soft and inviting.  Ella’s body rather reminded Irene of renaissance nudes, only with larger breasts.  Somehow the loveliness of Ella’s rear only incense her more. It seemed to Irene that the whiteness of her sister’s skin was crying out to be marked crimson for her unladylike crimes.

“Are you feeling embarrassed Ella?” she asked.

“Well yes, this is a bit unusual!”  replied Ella, attempting to keep her dignity.

“Really! Well now you know how I felt when you humiliated me in front of the entire family with your display, flirting with Harold like that!  Goodness knows what they think of me now!  You really deserve to feel utterly embarrassed by your own behaviour but since you do not seem to have the sense to, I shall make you feel it now as part of your punishment.”

Ella groaned.  She should have known it wouldn’t be as simple as a quick spanking.  Irene was a woman scorned.

Spankee Artemisia de Vine Spanker Electra Amore

Spankee Artemisia de Vine Spanker Electra Amore

And then, without warning, came the first jolting slap.  It surprised all thought from Ella’s mind! Before she could even yelp, the first was followed closely by the staccato ring of five more hard spanks that left her breathless and wriggling to get out of the way.

Irene was business-like in her delivery.  Open handed stings, one after the other.  The shock of it made Ella bounce forward and squeal.  She hadn’t been ready for that!

“Oh hold still, you baby!  That is only child’s play.  I plan on warming your bottom nicely before we rejoin the others.  The more you wriggle about the worse it will be for you. Now get back in position.”  Irene’s voice was all confident command now that she felt in control again.

Ella slumped forward before she could catch herself.  It had hurt a lot more than she remembered but it had been a couple of decades since she had been forced to suffer this indignity.

“If you do not get back in position Ella, I will have to assume you have changed your mind on our deal.”

With reluctant obedience, Ella centred herself, weight resting on her forearms so she could raise her bottom high as she had been taught.  Strange how it all came flooding back… all those instructions on how to hold yourself in the way that was expected by her father.

However that wasn’t good enough for Irene.  She took hold of Ella’s shapely hips and re-positioned her, arching her back even further making Ella feel even more exposed.

“What is more, sister dear,” continued Irene in her patronising voice,  I want to know you appreciate the effort I am taking to bring you back in line… for you own good… and the good of the family.  I want you to demonstrate your gratefulness and thank me after each set of six spanks and politely ask me for more.  If I think you have learned your lesson I will stop.  If not, I will comply with your request and continue to dish out your discipline. Do you understand me?”

Ella realised that she was not going to get out of this with her dignity anywhere near in tact and decided her best plan was doing her utmost to please her sister to make this whole ordeal end as soon as possible.

“Yes Irene” she agreed, trying to keep the sullenness out of her voice.

“Yes ma’am”, you will call me ma’am until this is all over.  After all wasn’t it you who started that with your earlier sarcasm? Besides, you lost your right to be my equal when you jiggled your breasts like bait on a hook in front of my boyfriend.  Like a tramp!  A proper hussy! You weren’t brought up to behave that way now were you?” lectured Irene gaining momentum.

Then without waiting for an answer she began spanking her sister hard.

“One, two, three, four, five, six!”

Ella reeled. She gasped and couldn’t think clearly. She hadn’t expected her sister to be so strong!  She had hardly time to catch her breath when Irene tapped her foot impatiently and demanded, “I’m waiting!”

Ella gritted her teeth.  “Thank you ma’am, may I please have another set of six?”

Oh my she was never going to live this down!  Irene was going to lord it over her all summer now.

Whack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack!

Ella’s bottom was really getting hot now!

“Thank you ma’am, may I please have another set of six?”  It was just so grating having to ask for more.  She longed to rub her sore bottom but didn’t dare provoke her sister further.

Irene’s arm showed no sign of tiring as she delivered another round of stinging retribution.  It seemed as though she was going to keep it up all night!  Each slap bit into Ella’s soft flesh, and sent it jiggling.

Several more rounds of this passed and it seemed as though Irene would never be satisfied.  She continued to imprint her no-nonsense lesson into her sister’s flesh until finally, Ella burst out sobbing.  “Please!  I am sorry!  I can’t take any more!  Please, I’ve had enough!”

“There, there!” cooed Irene, rubbing her sister’s sore bottom to comfort it.  “You say you are sorry is that right?”

“Yes I am very sorry!”

“Maam.  Say I am sorry ma’am”.

“I… I am sorry ma’am”  choked Ella between sobs, relieved that the ordeal was over.  Irene’s hands felt so lovely and cool on her sore, swollen bottom.

“But interestingly,” continued Irene, “What I heard is that you only apologised because you wanted the spanking to stop.  Not because you have really learned your lesson at all.”  She paused for effect and let that sink in, then continued,  “I will tell you what.  I will stop spanking you and let you return to the family meal if you agree to continue this punishment after dinner.  That will give you some time to recover and think about your actions.  Perhaps you will form a more genuine apology then.  Otherwise we can just continue with the spanking now.  It is your choice”.

Ella’s poor bottom was so red!  She couldn’t bare the thought of another round of spanking so she reluctantly agreed and stood up to cover herself.

“Oh, and there is one more thing…” said Irene with the air of one springing a trap, “You are to feel the sting of embarrassment that you caused me for the rest of the meal”.

Ella looked around and wiped her tears.  What was this new turn of events?

“Did you know that uncle Victor was telling me the most fascinating story just the other day, continued Irene, fumbling around in her handbag.  “Do you know what they used to do to young girls caught in inappropriate self… er… young ladies with promiscuous inclinations shall we say… back in Victorian times?”

“Er no…”  said Ella nervously.

ginger-figging-spanking-ck“They were quite clever, our forebears.  They had to train inappropriate behaviour out of the young ladies and they had just the method to do it.  They used these!”  she said reaching into her tan leather handbag and producing something wrapped in a handkerchief.  She began unwrapping it to reveal a yellowish tan object.

Ella leaned closer for a better look.  At first she wasn’t sure what she was looking at and then she caught its scent.

“Is that ginger?”  she asked puzzled.

“Yes my dear, it is indeed.  I have taken the time to skin it and carve it into a suitable plug shape especially for you”.

“What are you going to do with it?” asked Ella eyes growing wide with suspicion.

“Why I am going to do just what our ancestors did when a woman behaved like a little hussy.  Have you heard of figging my dear sister? If you think with your lady parts, then I shall teach you not to.  Now bend over”.

“What!”  spluttered Ella.

“You heard me.  Bend over.  Unless of course you would prefer me to continue spanking you?  We have been gone some time now and someone is sure to come looking for us.  Imagine if it is uncle Victor who opens the door to the site of your bare bottom.  You will have to explain to him exactly why you are in this predicament.  Would you prefer that?”

Ella was horrified!

“If it is cousin Jack they send to fetch us, I doubt he will keep his mouth shut.  He will find the whole thing terribly amusing!”

“Ok, ok!”  Ella agreed in desperation, “I’ll do it!”  Her whole face rivaled tomatoes for redness, as she bent back over.  Even her ears burned crimson to match her bottom.

inserting-ginger-figgging-sydney-spankee-ck“That’s right dear, now arch your back so I have a good view of that bottom of yours.  Stand with your feet a foot apart. Quick smart!”  Irene clapped her hands smartly.

Disbelievingly, Ella obeyed.  She had gone through too much now to miss out on Greece.  If she did not commit to the ordeal until the end, all she had already suffered would be for nothing.  She had to submit to her jealous sister’s retribution.

Something cold, hard and moist slid up her thigh and between her legs.  Her sister’s warm fingers spread her gently but firmly open and she felt the tip of the ginger nestling against her lady parts.  Irene made sure to get ginger juice everywhere sensitive before gently pushing the root inside her sister.  She pushed it in deep but left the flared based on the outside for easy removal.  This method also ensured the ginger juices would rub against the most sensitive area near the opening.

“Stay there, I am not quite done.” commanded Irene.  Ella groaned.  What now?

She felt a second ginger root plug against her buttocks.  Where had that come from?

Irene slipped a knee between Ella’s thighs,  and use it to push them further apart.  Once Irene was happy that Ella’s position made her nicely open and available, she spread her buttocks without preamble. “Now remember you brought this on yourself sister dear” Irene smirked, as she began to roll the tip of the ginger root around Ella’s alarmed pucker.  Taking her time to work her sister’s hole open, she slowly inserted the second root in her bottom.  Two roots!

Ella couldn’t quite believe what was happening! It didn’t seem real. She felt so full and uncomfortable!

Reverting back to business-like efficiency, Irene pulled Ella’s underwear up over her smarting bottom and gave her buttock one last satisfied slap.

“If you are to prove that you are genuinely sorry, you will make recompense by wearing those ginger plugs for the rest of the meal.  Each time you feel them, you will remember that the shame of it is a reminder of the humiliation you put me through earlier.  The sensation of the roots will remind you to check your behaviour and ensure it is ladylike and modest.  However, you are not to change out of that dress!  You are to wear your bosom out for all to see for the rest of the meal, knowing what a disgrace you are.  You wanted to put yourself on display after all…”

Ella stood up slowly.  She felt the rough fibres of the ginger root nestled inside her.  It was a strange, hard feeling.  Even more disconcerting was that a part of her felt pleasure against her will.  Still she couldn’t believe her sister would do this to her!  It felt so invasive!

“Come now, we must get back.”  Irene grasped Ella by the arm and pushed her out into the hall in front of her so she could enjoy watching her sister trying to walk normally down the long hall towards the dining room.

corridorElla stumbled, straightened and then stepped carefully, keeping her back erect.  She tried walking one way, and then another but nothing seemed to make the alien objects feel any less intrusive.  One painstaking step after the other…  Try as she might, she couldn’t quite achieve a normal gate.

Irene laughed quietly.  “ Quickly now, they will be wondering where we have got to!”

Just as they walked through the entrance of the dining room, the burning sensation began.  Ella stumbled a little as stinging heat began to pulse in her most delicate of areas and her face blushed full sunset crimson.  Oh what was this new hell?  She longed to rub herself to get some relief.  She half turned to duck back into the hall.

“There you two are!” bellowed Harold in his American accent.  “We were about to send out a search party!”  The whole table turned to witness the two women’s entrance.  Ella felt their eyes burning into her.  She had never felt so naked!   With her bottom smarting and her privates on fire she was sure they all knew!  She was suddenly aware of how little her dress actually covered.

“Are you ok Ella dear?” asked her step mother, sounding concerned.  “You look rather unwell.”

Irene leaned in and hissed in Ella’s ear.  “You are to stay the whole meal and then meet me in daddy’s office afterwards for your finale or the deal is off.”
“No I’m fine, really.”  Ella unconvincingly replied to her step mother.  “Please I am fine.  Don’t let me hold you all up any longer.  Let’s begin the next course.”

She felt as though the distance to the dining table had suddenly extended to the length of a foot ball field.  She was sure that everyone could tell she was walking strangely and each awkward step seemed an exercise in slow motion humiliation.  Worse, she couldn’t hurry because each movement made more ginger juice release and mingled with her own natural juices, trickle down into every fold and crevice. Each sway of her hip as she walked made the burn became so much more intense.

Finally, after what seemed an age,  she reached her destination.  However, instead of relief she face a new ordeal.  She winced as she sat down on the hard chair.  Both her sore bottom and the movement of the slightly protruding ginger plugs reminded her rudely of her predicament.  She experimented, rocking backwards and forwards trying to find a comfortable position but it was no good.  As soon as one area got some relief, the other area experienced more pressure.   It took all her self control not to wriggle and fidget as another wave of burning ginger juice took effect.

Irene’s mood was utterly transformed from earlier.  She played the lady, all full of graciousness and banter, talking to all the guests.  No one would have guessed what had passed between the sister’s only moment before.  Or perhaps this marked change in both women would mean they did suspect… did they?  Ella blushed again hoping they did not.

quail-asparigus

She sat miserably at the table feeling terribly exposed.  She became ever so aware of her under-covered bosom just as Irene predicted.  She blushed whenever anyone spoke to her and was so polite and demur that Harold loudly exclaimed he thought her a different person to the sister-in-law-to-be he had been bantering with only twenty minutes before.  He had such a loud voice and kept drawing the attention of the whole gathering back to Ella over and over again.  However instead of enjoying it this time, she cringed and tried to deflect the attention back to her sister.

Irene’s eyes glittered with amusement as she watched Ella squirm under the attention she had previously enjoyed so much.  Despite this sign of Irene’s appeasement, each time Harold’s eyes lingered a split second longer than they should on Ella’s cleavage, Ella sense of dread increased.  What would happen to her when she was next alone in daddy’s study with Irene?

Ella’s senses were heightened and she became sensitive to everything around her.  Everything her family said seemed to be an accusation in disguise.  The meal dragged on.  Several people asked for second helpings of quail and asparagus, drawing out the process even longer.  Ella couldn’t concentrate and left her own meal hardly touched.

The worst of it was when Uncle Victor, the insufferable, self righteous, religious one of the family, leaned in close to her and began talking to her about the sermon he had particularly enjoyed last Sunday.  It was terribly confusing to have burning and, well, confusing feelings in her lady parts while her uncle was talking about the bible to her!

bible-smiteOh how he droned on, his eyes boring into her intensely!  His yellow teeth obliviously chattering a condemnation of her sins. Or at least that is what it seemed like to poor Ella but he couldn’t really know.   Could he?

“It isn’t in fashion to preach from the old testament any more but I find comfort in the clarity severity brings don’t you?”  He asked without waiting for an answer.  “The God of the old testament was much more decisive!  If one strayed from the path, He wasn’t afraid to send them swift and just retribution to bring them back in line.  He wasn’t caught in any namby pamby political correctness!  The Almighty is the very definition of justice!”

Did he know?  No! No? Of course he didn’t.  Did he?

Irene took perverse delight in asking Ella to pass her various things.  Usually directly after Harold had paid a little too much attention to Ella.  Irene deliberately chose objects that required Ella to lean forward and stretch out in order to comply.  This had the unpleasant effect of rocking the protruding parts of the ginger against the chair and starting another round of burning as more juice was released.  Ella was forced to smile politely at her sister as she passed her one object or another, all the while feeling a renewed alarming sensations in her nether regions.  Irene maintained piercing eye contact as she leaned back forcing Ella to lean ever further forward in order to achieve her task of passing the salt or sauce.

Finally, dessert was brought out and placed in front of each member of the family.  Baked pears with almonds and… “What is that lovely spicy flavour I detect Miss Brown?” asked cousin Jack.

pears“Cinnamon and ginger,”  she replied amicably.

This was just too much for poor Ella to bear.  She dropped her spoon with a loud clatter and it sprayed ginger covered pear juice all over the tablecloth before it clanged loudly to the floor.  This is the second time that evening that the carpets suffered new marks.

Of course, all the noisy fuss meant all eyes turned to Ella again and she was forced to struggle to keep her composure as she bent down to pick up the slippery silverware from the ground.  She wished the earth wold swallow her whole! The position she was forced to get in to reach for her spoon really did make certain hidden objects notably uncomfortable and she couldn’t help a small grunting moan escape her lips.  She felt sure she would die of shame right there.  With the private parts pulsing alarmingly and all eyes boring into her… Irene was stifling a laugh in her napkin…

Would it ever end?

Eventually it did. The last spoon scraped across the delicate china ware and the last morsel of desert was licked from the corner of aunt Rachel’s mouth.  The family began pushing back their chairs and moving away from the table.

Irene came around behind Ella and whispered in her ear.  “I think it is time for you to retire to the office.  I shall be a bit longer of course.  This time I expect you to assume the position properly.  Lean over the desk this time.  Expose your bottom in preparation for me and wait.”

Ella’s stomach sunk.  The desk!  That meant Irene had saved the worst till last.  She didn’t know if she could take anymore!  However, if she didn’t go through with it till the very end, all she had suffered would be for naught.  It seemed the further she got into this mess, the more committed she became to getting through till the end.  She couldn’t go back now.

Far more contritely, than her earlier brash self, she whispered quietly, “Yes Irene”.

“Yes who?” asked Irene with a meaningful eyebrow raise.

Ella’s heart skipped a beat.  Every one seemed busy talking amongst themselves and not paying attention, but what if someone overheard?  Still she didn’t dare refuse.

“Yes Maam”.  She said, madly blushing.

“Much better”.

****

Artemisia de Vine

Artemisia de Vine

As soon as Ella was alone she rubbed her poor burning parts.  How she had longed to all meal but hadn’t been able to.  The burning had settled down now but the uncomfortable roots remained in place, reminding her of their offensive effects.

This time, she did not dawdle.  She went straight to her father’s large wooden desk and leaned across it.  The cool leather felt soothing against her breasts.

As she reached down to lift her own skirts as per her instructions, she caught a glimpse of herself in the large mirror behind the desk.  In the reflection was also the large mirror behind her on the wall.  She was horrified to realised she could see herself from every humiliating angle.

Had her father done this deliberately?  How strange!

Still, unwilling to give Irene more ammunition, she hurriedly lifted her dress and lowered her underwear.  The little knobs of ginger protruded rudely but stayed in place.

And she waited… this time Irene was in no hurry.  Ella was left to look at herself in this humiliating position in all the mirrors and consider what had gotten her into this situation.

From this angle she could see that yes she really was exposing a dangerous amount of bosom.  When she leaned over like this, they very nearly fell right out!  She was unable to look away herself and had to concede that yes it was a rather distracting thing to wear to a family dinner.  No wonder Harold had been unable to stop peeking at her!

Still, she waited.  Her bottom exposed to the door.  Should anyone but Irene walk in she would but thoroughly humiliated indeed!

Finally she heard voices in the corridor.  It was Irene and who was that she was talking to?  She heard low talking and then loudly, “Ok good night dear!  I will be with you shortly.  I just have one last thing to finish up before I come to bed”.

Then in she walked.  Her eyes caught Ella’s in the reflection and held them like a spotlight…. Irene was fully exposed to her sister and felt about an inch tall.  She could not get away from that all seeing gaze.

Instead of walking in and closing the door behind her, Irene leaned against the door frame with one hand hiding something behind her back.   The effect sent panic through Ella.  Although no one was in the hall, anyone could wander by at any time… yet Irene seem unconcerned.

“And what have we learned this evening Ella?” She asked with disconcerting confidence, making no attempt to keep her voice down.  We will be going ahead with this next phase of discipline no matter how well you apologise but I hope you have had a very good think about your behaviour and have prepared a suitable apology because the severity of your next punishment depends entirely on how convinced I am.”

With that, she produced a cane from behind her back and flexed it suggestively.

“ The cane!  I have never been caned before!  Where on earth did you get a cane from?”

“From me,” said a male voice as another figure stepped through the door.  It was uncle Victor clothed in religious zeal, twitching nose radiating judgement!

His eyes darted down as he took in the full picture before him.  “Hmmm… quite the spectacle!  But then again you are used to making a spectacle of yourself aren’t you my dear.”  He said without emotion.

Ella felt a wave of humiliation rise like fire through her whole body.  Her hands automatically darted to pull down her dress and cover herself.

Electra Amore roleplays Irene & Artemisia de Vine play Ella

Electra Amore roleplays Irene & Artemisia de Vine play Ella

“Don’t you dare move sister!” warned Irene darting forward and placing the tip of the cane under Ella’s chin.

“Uncle Victor is daddy’s brother and since daddy can’t be here to pull you in line, I have had a good talk with Uncle Victor.  He too had noticed your outrageous behaviour of late and agreed something needed to be done about it.  You will stay in this position and be witnessed in your disgrace.
“It is my duty, of course, to preserve the harmony in this family as far as possible now that my brother has gone.  When Irene talked of your ongoing problematic behaviour earlier this week, we came up with a plan.”

“He had known!”  thought Ella,  “That hateful man!  Oh how Irene must be loving this!  She knows how much Uncle Victor gets under my skin.”

And then out loud, “Wait a minute! You planned this?  Earlier this week?!”

“Yes sister, we did.  Tonight is not a one off.  Your behaviour has been unacceptable for some time.  We knew that it would only be a matter of time before you did something we could make an example of.”

Electra roleplays Irene telling off Ella (Artemisia)

Electra roleplays Irene telling off Ella (Artemisia)

Ella fumed!  She had been tricked into this!  Yet she didn’t dare move.  There she was, bent over and exposed with the ginger roots effectively nailing her to the desk… the very punishment uncle Victor had told Irene about! Yet she dared not stand up.  She had come too far now.  She felt weak in the knees and grasped the edge of the desk with white knuckled desperation.

“Yes, while I am the man of this house now that your father is gone, it would have been inappropriate for me to administer this particular punishment.  We had to arrange it so that your sister would be the one to perform that little procedure.”

He continued, “Your grandfather used to dish out discipline to your father and I when we were growing up and it did us the world of good.  He was a strong believer that physical pain was not enough of a deterrent on its own.  He believed that a punishment should also be embarrassing in order to be effective and should suit the nature of the misdemeanour or character flaw.  Your flaw, is flaunting and mis-using your womanly wiles so this is the most appropriate way to purge you of this habit.  Your father was too lenient on you after your mother died Ella, and it shows.  I am here to make up for that lack.  I hope tonight’s demonstration has hit the mark.

Now, for your apology.  I am here to witness and decide the severity of your caning depending on how convinced we are that you have learned your lesson.”

Ella gulped.  She could see herself in all the mirrors and multiple reflections of her relatives too.  It seemed that the room was full of jealous sisters and looming religious zealot uncles, all witnessing her disgrace.  Fractal accusations of her character.  She had better make this good.

“I hadn’t realised that I had been causing such a problem!  It all seemed harmless to me but I see now that I have been selfish.  I have created distance between you and Harold, Irene, and for that I am sorry. I shall be much more considerate in future”.

Her words were met with silence.

“I really am sorry”.  She added hastily and was surprised to find she meant it.  “I was childish and inappropriate”.

After a little more silence, her uncle finally spoke.  “Do you agree that you caused pain to your sister and deserve to feel pain in return?

“Yes I suppose that is true.  Yes I do deserve to receive the cane.  The pain of losing Harold would have been far worse than canes.  I will accept my punishment.”

Irene nodded triumphantly.

“Six of the best and we will say no more of it,” pronounced uncle Victor.  He fully entered the room and finally shut the door behind him much to Ella’s relief.  He then sat down, sour faced in the red velvet chair and crossed his legs to observe proceedings.

Irene moved over and tested the cane by swishing it through the air.

“You will thank me after each stroke as before, counting as we go,” pronounced Irene.

“Yes Maam,”  replied a contrite Ella.

Electra Amore playing Irene & Artemisia de Vine playing Ella bare bottom

Electra Amore playing Irene & Artemisia de Vine playing Ella bare bottom

Irene stood to one side of her sister and reached down to hold her by the hips, adjusting Ella’s bottom so it was in the most convenient position.  She then began tapping the cane against her sister’s bottom to practice her aim.  It was still a little pink from her earlier spanking.  Irene took her time.  Then, the cane whizzed through the air and bit neatly into Ella’s flesh.

A red welt raised immediately and Ella gasped!  Even with her new attitude, she wasn’t ready for how much the cane would hurt and she nearly forgot to thank her sister.

“One thank you Ma’am, may I please have another?”  she wheezed trying to catch her breath.

Before she had time to gather herself fully, the next stroke was whirring through the air with surprising accuracy.  When had Irene learned to use the cane?

All thoughts of such matters quickly disappeared as the cane hit home of the third time.  Ella’s bottom was on fire!

“Three thank you ma’am, may I please have another”.

Uncle Victor was silent in his chair but Ella was keenly aware of his presence. His self righteousness crawled all over her skin.

Artemisia playing Ella

Artemisia playing Ella

Whoosh! The cane struck again. And again.

“Four thank you ma’am, may I please have another?” Moaned Ella

“Five thank you ma’am, may I please have another?”

And finally, pausing just for moment, Irene struck her sister one last time.

“Six thank you ma’am.”  cried Ella bursting into tears.  “I’m so sorry Irene.  I didn’t know how much I had hurt you.  I really didn’t.  I am sorry”.

“There, there” soothed Irene, rubbing her sister’s bottom in comfort.  “Shshshshs….  It’s all ok.  You’ve learned your lesson and everything will be alright now.

Artemisia as Ella: Six of the best!

Artemisia as Ella: Six of the best!

Irene’s hands were cool and soft on her Ella’s sore bottom caressing the six, neat, red welts in a row.  Ella felt strangely childlike being comforted like this and somehow it really did make her feel better.

“I don’t think you need these anymore either,” said Irene, as she slipped her fingers lower to get a grip on a protruding ginger root.  She gently tugged on it and removed the plug from her sister and dropped it in a near by wastepaper basket.  Then, running her fingers down, she felt for the other root and tenderly removed it too.

“I wonder what the cleaner will think of that!” She laughed gently as the second root joined the first.  Ella looked up at her sister through tear stained eyes and began to giggle too.  The two women turned and hugged closely,  Irene still rubbing poor Ella’s bottom.

Uncle Victor simply said, “Good.  Now kiss and make up like good girls”.    He leaned back, uncrossed and re-crossed his legs in irritating satisfaction as Irene wiped away Ella’s tears and the two women kissed affectionately on the lips.  Things were looking good for a harmonious Greek holiday.

***********
hug-afterwardsRead about Artemisia’s Grand Spanking Adventure coming up in London Oct-Nov 2016.

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Jul 202016
 

 

shadow workshop fb-banner-level-one

Artemisia de Vine Conscious Erotic ArtsHi, I am Artemisia de Vine and I am a Sydney-based, professional & lifestyle dominatrix, switch & creative kinkster. I also have a strong, sensual side to my sexuality. We are complex beings with many attributes are we not?

I am here to invite you to my upcoming workshops

Exploring our Sexual Shadows through Taboo Fantasy & Kink  – Byron Bay Aug 5-7 and Sept 29-Oct 2

 

I have created a pod cast which gives you a great introduction to this topic.  If you listen all the way until the end you will get a code word that will allow you to get level 1 tickets at the early bird prices even though early bird has finished.  Furthermore, if you bring a friend and you both book and pay at once, you will both get an additional $50 off your tickets!

Check out the podcast here

Purchase Tickets here

 

Or if you prefer to read…
I have had the privilege of working closely with thousands of people to tease out their unique erotic fingerprint and turn those underlying, and often unconscious, motivations into play scenes. I approach my work, and personal play, with intention and awareness as well as heart and passion. I purposefully create opportunities to interact with more levels of ourselves through our sexuality. This work has the potential to be profound and I am blown away again and again by the positive impact it has on people.

In these workshops we will create a safe and compassionate atmosphere where we can explore the ways in which we can create more satisfying sexual experiences while also deliberately going on a journey of self discovery that brings us into a much deeper alignment with ourselves.

We do this by first discovering our erotic blueprints and what they reveal about our personal erotic shadow. Our erotic shadow contains so much that is important for us if we want to be whole and our fantasies hold important keys to creating intentional relationship with this aspect of ourselves. I will guide you through how to become aware of your own erotic treasure map.

Once we know more about ourselves on this level, we move from an intellectual understanding, into an embodied awareness by creating play scenes based on these sexual blueprints. I go through all the tools I use to design scenes with my clients including the tools needed to create a safe container where we can access some of our most potent peak erotic turn ons.

In order to be whole, we need to embrace all of ourselves, even the forbidden parts. We need to make our sexual shadow our ally and give it safe and healthy expression.

What is our shadow?

When we are first born into the world, we are full of potential. We have the full spectrum of possibilities within us. As we are socialised into our family, our extended social networks and our society as a whole, we learn that some parts of us are acceptable and others are not. This is the process for everyone no matter how open-minded and loving our parents and loved ones may be and no matter what culture you are brought up in.

Both attributes we consider positive and negative end up in our unconscious. However they have not gone away. They are still there influencing our emotions and reactions in ways we are not aware of. It is almost like they take on a life of their own. This is the aspect of ourselves we call the shadow.

An unowned shadow, with a life of its own, can feel really scary. It seems to erupt at inconvenient times in ways that confuse and harm us and those around us.

When we were young, we cut off aspects of ourselves and seem to spend the rest of our lives trying to feel whole again. A person who can reintegrate their shadow in healthy ways feels in alignment with themselves. They are able to access a sense of wholeness and access far more of their potential. Their relationships with others come from a more mature place. More than that, they are able to use their shadow ally as a bridge to access and create a relationship with the deeper part of themselves that carries a wisdom beyond the part of us that is normally in the driver’s seat. That mysterious bigger, deeper, wider self.

FurnitureSo what has this got to do with our sexual fantasies and kink? 

Guess what! Our taboo kinky and/or sexual fantasies are a fantastic way of turning our shadow into our ally!

Sexual fantasies, just like our dreams, speak in the language of the unconscious. They are not logical, or politically correct. In both dreams and fantasies, we often act in ways we never would in everyday life. We often get to express desires that we didn’t even know we had. The langauge of the unconscious is symbolic. Dreams and sexual fantasies speak the language of symbols and reveal so much about what is going on beneath our awareness.

Furthermore, our sexual fantasies allow us to be aroused. Being aroused is an altered state of consciousness where the veils between our unconscious and conscious minds are naturally thinner. We can have a more intentional interaction with both aspects at this time.

I guide each of my client and play partners into an in-depth consultation about their particular fantasies… I peel back the layers of the fantasy to see the common themes that emerge again and again. What are the underlying motivations for arousal? What situations work for you to create the optimum interaction with your shadow? Now I am offering to guide you through this process too.

Dracula RavenBut why role plays and play scenes?

The wonderful thing about play scenes is that they allow us to interact with our fantasies on a different level than if we just had a wee secret wank while thinking about them. Play scenes are embodied ways of acting out the symbols that make sense to our unconscious minds… they are giving our shadow a place in our lives within the safe container of a clearly negotiated and consensual framework.

This has a profound effect on us. Here is what one person has to say about this work.

“Before i went on this journey with you i was aware of some of my turn ons but was afraid of them because they had led to pain in previous relationships. My turn ons were hidden from the world and everyone around me, even my partners. It was a source that i fed off with pornography and in a very unsatisfying way. I wanted to satisfy these turn on so bad but thought that I wasn’t allowed to and knew that i would never work up the courage to.

I couldn’t imagine how i could ever have a different relationship to my shadow and have it be something that i could delve into and derive deep personal satisfaction from in embodied and lived ways. Also i associated my desires with a lack of consent and violence towards women, i felt shame for that and chastised myself for my desires, I thought that i would never be able to work around that.

interfacing with my shadow has helped me to become aware of and work through very key personal issues that i always wanted to confront and explore but never knew how. I was blocked from creating a relationship with those parts of me that i knew were holding me back. I’ve been able to push through some key limitation and grow in very unexpected ways.

Also i just feel so much more sexually satisfied and I’ve felt moments of sexual power and pleasure that i never thought possible.”

This first workshop will be about exploring our erotic shadows.

We will look more closely into why taboo sexual fantasy is actually an ideal method of meeting and integrating our shadows safely. We will look into the frameworks we need to keep ourselves safe and happy while we explore the taboo. I will guide you through some (fully clothed and non sexual) exercises to help you identify your core erotic themes and decipher them as clues to your unique shadow. By the end of this workshop you will:

* Be well on your way to becoming conscious of your unique erotic wiring and how that is linked to your shadow.
* You will have access to frameworks that create safety for exploring this side of ourselves.
* You will have ways of working out your future play partner’s unique erotic fingerprints or core erotic themes.

You will not be required to share your personal taboo fantasies publically unless you choose to and can participate in activities only to the level you feel comfortable at any given time. Consent and safe containers for exploration are important to me.  If this sounds like you, then pop on over here to buy yourself a ticket

Level two:  Shadow Expressions: Learning to play with Fantasy and Kink

So you are keen to explore deeper but how do you bring this to life? You want to create erotic play scenes based on the information you now have about your erotic shadows. What now?

This workshop an immersive intensive and fully catered retreat, where I teach you the tools I use as a professional. These are skills you need to create play scenes for yourself and your play partners that are designed on your unique erotic wiring.

By the end of this workshop you will have created a scene from beginning to end including pre-play consultations and aftercare. You will have a chance to explore a version of this play scene (which doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual) in the play party evening. We will all get a chance to de-brief and learn from each other’s experiences the next day.  If this is for you, then pop on over here to purchase your ticket.

Practitioner Training:
This is something I am very excited about! Next year I will be launching professional training for those who want to incorporate this work, and more, into their professional practices. This goes into a lot more detail about the skills needed to be a practitioner of this style of work. I will share the skills and tools I use to create sessions for clients who want to use their sexuality as a form of self discovery. BDSM practitioners, Sex workers, therapists, sexological bodyworkers and those that just want to be seriously skilled in this work for their personal play, are welcome.

Please join my mailing list here to stay informed.

Jul 192016
 

dancing shadowAn Introductory Evening: Exploring Sexual Shadows: A deeper look into fantasy & kink with Artemisia de Vine  Aug 3, Byron Bay

Artemisia de Vine is offering two incredible workshops here in our region (Byron Bay) reflecting her extensive experience and knowledge in the area of sexual fantasy, shadow and kink. This introduction evening is a stand alone event and also an introduction to find out what to expect from participating in her Level 1 (https://www.facebook.com/events/248718658838845/) and Level 2 (https://www.facebook.com/events/686938861446741) trainings. Artemisia is a walking powerhouse and this is an event not be missed for anyone curious, open and wanting to learn more.

COST: Early Bird $55 available until July 14th
Full Price: $65

Make sure you join my mailing list here for more info on this and future workshops and events.

Dec 042014
 

 

 

Artemisia de Vine Conscious Erotic ArtsMy name is Artemisia de Vine and I am a Sydney-based sex worker who specialises in the conscious erotic arts with a greedy appreciation for the deeply sensual through to the utterly kinky.  I am a classically trained BDSM, kink & fetish professional as well as a domestic spanking & discipline switch, erotic massage and conscious sex practitioner and occasional GFE (girlfriend experience) escort.  I am often asked why my sessions are so deliciously unique and seem to satisfy on such a deep level.

My Philosophy is that we can use our sexuality for escapism or for self discovery.  I choose to focus on the later.  If we approach our adult play time with awareness, a sense of open curiosity, bringing our whole selves to the table, our sexuality is not only deeply satisfying but an avenue to discover ourselves.  In some cases this leads to profound personal growth and transformation as we step more fully into our whole being.

The best way I have found to go about this, is through following our erotic cookie crumbs through our inner landscapes and express this with lusty play.  Fun, real and sexy as hell!

The primary reason for my sessions is not therapy though often there are therapeutic side effects.  The reason is because we are inherently sexual beings.  So much of the world fears sex because it truly is powerful.  It has the potential to be destructive or incredibly beautiful.  It can lead us home to ourselves.  By owning our sexuality, all of it, secret dark corners in our minds as well as loving lushness, we create a conscious relationship with ourselves and our lovers.  I am fascinated with how consensual exploration of the full spectrum of erotic possibilities within us with can not only be incredibly hot but can lead us home to ourselves and make us whole.

My Sessions Suit those who sense there is something more to sexuality and yearn for a skilled, open-minded companion to play, explore and discover with.  I create spaces where you can be just who you need to be in the moment.   You do not need to worry that I will impose kink on you if you are a sensual being or vise versa.

The focus is helping you uncover who you really are as an erotic being once the socially prescribed sexual scripts fall away.  I design sessions around your unique erotic “fingerprint”  in conjunction with my own erotic wiring.  I find sessions are just so much more satisfying for both of us if we take the time to find where we naturally overlap and play in that zone.  Clearly there are some things I am not drawn to so will recommend other practitioners if necessary.

My sessions focus on the journey, not just the destination so I recommend a minimum of a 2hr booking.

Artemisia de Vine antique queen final logoBut Where to Start?  Initially we just chat on the phone for a few minutes to get to know each other and feel into whether or not we are compatible.  If it feels right we arrange a booking.

In order to create the place for authentic sexual expression, I offer a consultation process as part of the booking.  I ask questions that draw out things you may not even be aware of about yourself, make suggestions of things you might like to explore with me and teach you simple but effective techniques to aid you in dropping down into the experience more fully.  The more we approach sexuality with awareness the more we can fully turn up with all of ourselves.  The erotic is so much more fulfilling when we open and include the physical & the psychosexual.

This in-depth consultation is part of discovering just who you are and what is erotically possible for you. It is about arming you with the skills needed to get the most out of our play time.  It is also part of allowing the time get out of our heads and into our bodies, peel back the layers and allow our (not always conscious) desires come to the fore.  As such it is part of the session and is best done leading into play time.

However skype session consultations are possible if you prefer.  They cost $150, which is taken off the price of your booking should you choose to go ahead.

Which Session is for me? 

I have two websites, for the sensual erotic arts and one for my kinky side.  You may not fit neatly into any of the below categories and that’s ok.  We can work design something especially for you in our consultation.  However below is a summary of the different aspects of me to give you an idea of the types of sessions I enjoy.

Mistress Artemisia Sydney Pro Domme TealMistress: No mere dabbler in BDSM, I am a classically trained Mistress who has dedicated over ten years to perfecting her art.  I can be wickedly playful, sensually enticing or strict and sadistic depending on my whim. Either way I will ignite your senses and crawl under your skin, deep within your psyche.  I take charge with an elegant, cat-like grace and confidence born of natural dominance, intelligent perception and a deep knowledge of the hidden world of dark fantasies. I delight in pulling your strings and making you dance to my tune… to the tune that is also reflected deep within you… I love that unmasked moment of surrender, where you cannot be anything but your true self.  Witnessed, held, taken…

Check out my blog for stories about the kinds of sessions I get up to.    See the variety of BDSM sessions available.

Note: Mistress sessions are not full service.

 

Kinky Role Play:  I love to explore just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behavior and nudge our boundaries.  I access all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but do so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved. I am at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

Besides! Playing with our forbidden fantasies and exploring power can be super hot! Be it Aunt/nephew, Age Play, Boss/Employee, Teacher/student or many more scenarios. Feel free to email me the gist of your fantasies. I generally like being the one in charge but will switch for the right gentleman.

Maybe full service: case by case negotiation and different fees apply depending on content.

 

Lady spanked mirrorIMG_7257-2 copySwitch/Submissive: For select gentlemen I enjoy switching and taking the submissive or bottom role in kinky play.  This may or may not be sexual depending on what we negotiate together.    The kinds of sessions I like to switch in are usually role play or discipline sessions however I am open to discussing other possibilities.

(Sex is not the main focus of these session but may be included as an extra towards the end).


Domestic Discipline: 
Traditional corporal punishment, spanking & discipline sessions have a whole different culture than BDSM.  I am pretty mad about every to do with it and happily take the role of either spanker or spankee in these sessions.  See more here including my spanking gallery.

 

erotic massage sydney logoErotic Massage Practitioner: Hot oil… soft, soft breasts… exquisite, full body skin on skin sensuality… surrender to the pleasure of highly skilled touch…  My sessions are far more than a “rub and tug”. These sessions are for those that truly want to delve into their eroticism and tantalize the whole being. This sumptuous array of sessions suit those that wish to surrender to full being pleasure, explore deeper and discover even more.  Read why my prostate massage sessions are so famous here.


Conscious Sex Companion: Have you ever wished you had a personal, skilled courtesan to explore with? Someone to make your erotic journey the object of their skilled, holistic and compassionate focus? Someone, attractive, friendly, seductive and knowledgable in the conscious erotic arts? Do you have a sense that there is something more to sex but are not sure how to access it? I am part guide to the Mysteries… part lover and playmate… For it is through a combination of conscious exploration and play that we find the treasure… I hold the space, play the role needed, provide the atmosphere and know-how for you to holistically explore your own unique sexual universe.  See more here. 


plus size sydney escort busty bondeEscort (GFE): 
For for select gentlemen who wish to enjoy a playful, sensual time with me to relax, unwind, explore and treat ourselves to un-rushed pleasure, I offer the girlfriend experience. This session is for those times when you do not want to focus on learning tantra or other conscious erotic exploration but just want to enjoy the company of a warm, friendly voluptuous woman. Time to be held in my soft bosom, stroked skin-on-skin and loved up. Let’s pleasure each other in my erotic oasis.  Here is a blog about what it is like on a GFE date with me.

About Me:  I have pretty much dedicated my life to the erotic arts.  I learn from every sexuality professional and pioneer I can.  What do I do with my holidays?  Go learn more sex geekery and put it together in creative ways to create experiences and opportunities for explorers of eros.  It is my life and my passion and I love nothing more than to help people access their full sexual and/or kinky potential.

I draw on aspects of sexological bodywork, lomilomi, tantra, Taoism, BDSM, somatic psychology and many other mindfully embodied practices.
At a Glance: I am a voluptuous, blonde, 39yo with creamy white skin, luscious G cup breasts and size 16 womanly curves.  I stand 5 foot 6 or 166cm without heels.  There are galleries on both websites.

Contact: I prefer initial contact to be via a phone chat so we can get a feel for whether or not we are on the same page.  However, if you cannot get hold of me, feel free to shoot me a text or email and I will get back to you.

Contact and Fees for Sensual sessions. 
Contact and Fees for Kinky sessions. 

Nov 012014
 

 

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyAs I shoved his face into my toilet and began to secure his head in place with plastic wrap he gagged a little and began to resist.   I grabbed a tuft of his sandy hair and pushed him back into position.  His naked knees scrambled on the shiny white tiles, hands struggling against leather restraints behind his back.  With no way to balance himself he was easy to push around.   He was forced to comply.

“I thought you said I could do whatever I liked to you slave? Are you taking back your promises so soon?”

“No Mistress,  I’ll try harder Mistress,”

“Yes you will… but soon you won’t exactly have much choice in the matter,”  I smiled to myself as a rush of sadistic pleasure coursed through my body.  I love this game.

I tugged on the collar around his neck,  slipping cold metal chains through the loops with an echoing clatter and then wrapping them around the toilet.  I soon had him chained to the cistern, padlocked in place, face squarely over the toilet bowl.  I slipped the key into my cleavage for safe keeping.

“Now you will really have to impress me to be let free slave, and I am going to test your resolve,”  I told him in a calm, slightly amused tone.

“Yes Mistress,”  he replied, his voice betraying his nervousness.

I shoved his face further into the toilet and resumed plastic-wrapping his head in place.   I could feel the power rush coming on, slowing everything down…  making me feel so alive… the throbbing in my veins became connected to the beat of all Life.  The sound of plastic being unrolled, became amplified, squeaking and straining as I stretched it up over the back of his head and down around the toilet bowl… passing it through underneath and back up around again…  round and round until he was unable to move his head at all.

I stood back, wiped the hint of moisture from my brow and admired my handy work, catching a glimpse of satisfaction on my face in the bathroom mirror.  I turned and stared at myself as I stood over my little silk worm snug in his perverted cocoon.

Mistress Artemisia de Vine crop logoMy womanly shape was highlighted by an elegant sheer slip while black fake fur draped my shoulders highlighting my excessive bosom.  The soft curves of my breasts swept down to a tightly corseted waist and widened again considerably to frame voluptuous hips and thighs.  I reached up and twisted the pearls around my neck fascinated by the way my wild blonde curls made me look so deceptively innocent.

I just adored the juxtaposition of such lady-like femininity against the flushed with raw power and cruelty on my face.   I was no mere girl, posing with a whip and looking pretty to tantalize men’s gaze.  My reflection showed a mature kind of attractiveness that can only come from those who have explored themselves… from those that carry an inner knowingness and calm confidence.   My beauty doesn’t come from picture-perfect features,  it comes from being a fully fledged woman in her power.

My attention returned to my slave.  A familiar visage.  Yet another powerful corporate man, naked and bent over in the perfect position to leave him feeling exposed and degraded.  His bottom poked out in easy swiping distance and his s0-called manhood, his cock and balls, dangled nice and vulnerable for me to reach should I so choose.  The way he was fastened there left no way for him to protect them from me…  and he was rock hard.  He was loving this even as he experience a myriad of challenging emotions.

This is what they don’t understand, I thought to myself.  Those sweet eyed, well-meaning, yoga folk and their conscious living.  They are all meditation and green juice but they do not understand that in order to really be whole, we have to own all of ourselves, dark twisted bits as well as the love and light.

Owning our shadow and creating a conscious relationship with it, is part of the spiritual path.   The dark side is in us… always there…  snarling in the depths… hidden in the corners of our hearts and minds…  We are All Things, us mad humans… We are consciousness in an animal body capable of every kind of horror and wonder under the sun…

The more we deny it by trying to control it or suppress it, the more is pops out in other areas of our lives…  and the more it controls us, taking the steering wheel from deep within our unconscious and creating havoc in unexpected areas of our lives. The dark-side butterfly effect.

Owning this aspect of me is what makes me whole.  BDSM is theatre of the soul where we live out all our archetypes… all of them get voice… With consent and awareness this kind of lust, cruelty and power play can lead us Home to ourselves.  Being filthy is the holiest thing I know how to do.

Without warning I stabbed air holes through the plastic with a skewer, sharp metal piercing jagged fissures right near his vulnerable face… him unable to move out of the way.  He could surrender and trust or remain in fear.

He jumped and strained but could not escape… he hadn’t let go yet… He was still holding onto control… to the illusion that he had an impact on the outcome of our play.  The blood pumping through his jugular veins pulsed at a rapid rate…  His breath was sharp and shallow in his chest fogging up the plastic-wrap… Adrenalin.

I let him brew for a while, anticipating what would happen next while I prepared the next part of our little game.  No doubt he could hear me opening draws, scraping metal implements against the bench top…

As I got out the ginger root I had been brewing in the fridge and began carving it into a suitable shape, I could feel the animal in my body mirroring my slave’s rush.   The smell of his fear mingled with the fiery pungency of ginger juice set off the cat-like sadist in me.  A primal urge within just wanted to toy with him… degrade and humiliate him… peeling away the masks of his ego and his resistance until the core of him was exposed…  This lawyer, used to being in control… stuck in his head justifying his existence through logic and rhetoric… denying and suppressing his emotions… his feelings… his instincts… yes, this lawyer was to be broken down.

My role was to bring him face to face with all of that, dragging him squirming and screaming to stare his vulnerability in the eye…  To shatter the illusion of order and control…   Initiate him into his very fear of helplessness, and ultimately, into facing his own inevitable Death… where he could finally surrender to the peace of the void beyond.  Freedom.  Home.

But he is not on this journey alone.  I may be acting as his guide but I am on a journey of my own.  There is pleasure seeing him stripped of his dignity.   There is pleasure in cruelty and in feeling powerful… In playing God.  When engaged with through conscious exchange of power like this, it can lead me Home too.

The game is this.  I strip his ego down until he submits and surrenders remembering who he really is under all the constructs while at the same time I build my own ego up until it is a fiery supernova, exploding and setting me free to be my core, authentic self.   We are both heading to the same destination… him through the front door and me through the back.

Mistress high heelsHe could no doubt hear my slow deliberate steps as my stiletto heels clicked ominously on the tiles, signalling my approach.  His body tensed, every sense alert.

I began speaking to him in a soothing, hypnotic, lullaby tone while I traced one finger down his spine… down the small of his back…  slipping between his buttocks… and circling the ring of his anus.  My voice and sensual touch a contradiction to my words…

“Now darling slave, I am going to make you suffer for my pleasure.  There is no escape from this so you may as well accept your fate.  I enjoy seeing you squirm, hearing you beg and knowing you are doing this in service to Me.  There is nowhere to go… no where to be… there is only Me.  I am your entire world… your entire Universe… until I choose to let you go.  Nothing else exists but your submission to Me and whatever I choose to inflict upon you.  Do you understand?”

He swallowed, sweat breaking out and glistening on the little blonde hairs on the back of his neck even as he leaned into the pleasure of my touch.

“Yes Mistress”

“Good boy”

I continued the hum of soothing sadistic lyrics, all the while massaging and opening his anal sphincters in preparation for my next little game.  I took my sweet time, allowing his hunger to be penetrated to grow.   I could feel myself entering ‘the zone’ in connection to him.  My words dripping like poisonous honey from my tongue, curling like incense smoke through the air… slipping into his ears and wrapping around his mind…  The wildness of the forest… both Mother and Destroyer entering his body…  The more he unfolded and floated, the more we became in synch…  My breath matching his…

The world disappeared and time became an irrelevant concept.  There was only us in this moment.

He began moaning in need, leaning into my finger in an attempt to get me to enter him.

“You like that don’t you little slave?  I think you want something from me don’t you?”

No words, just moaning…

“Oh you don’t want anything from me?  I guess this is all you will get then,”  I teased.

I pressed against his hole with pleasurable little pulses and waited while he worked through his confusion about how he was supposed to act.

“Yes Mistress, I do, but I am your slave to do with as You will.”

“I like it when you beg like the horny little slut you are, slave”.  I could feel his hope rising… his anticipation of being filled and fucked warring with his embarrassment at being made to speak his desires out loud.

“Is there something you would like from me slave?”  I asked again.

He leaned into me in an attempt to get out of saying the words, trying to show me what he wanted with his body rather than suffering the humiliation of begging.

I stopped all stimulation and stepped back, leaving him bereft of my touch.

“I will only ask you one more time, and if I do not hear what I want to hear then you will miss our entirely.  Now, is there something you want from me slave?”

“Yes Mistress, please fuck me Mistress”.

“Oh you want me to fuck you do you?,” I mocked, as I leaned back in and began to seduce his arse hole again.

“Yes Mistress”

“Well then you had better beg for it my pretty boy.  I do so enjoy seeing a powerful man on his hands and knees, face in the toilet, begging to be sodomised.  Please do entertain me before I get bored and wander off.”

“Please fuck me Mistress, please fuck me up the arse,”  he said, embarrassment and resistance making his voice faint.

“Louder please.  And tell me what a little whore you are.  How you will do anything to please me.”

“I am your little whore, Mistress! Please fuck me up the arse!  I will do anything you say Mistress, please just fuck me!”  he said with more conviction this time.

“Now we are getting somewhere, but I am not convinced yet.  I also want warn you that should I grant you this wish, there will be a price.  There is always a price.  Are you willing to pay it?”

“Yes Mistress!”  he was starting to sound more urgent, “Yes I will do anything you say, I am your little slut, your play thing.  Please degrade me, use me, do as you please to me!  I am yours Mistress.  Please fuck me!”

ginger butt plug, figgingWith a satisfied smirk I slipped the head of the newly carved ginger butt plug  into the opening of his hole and began easing it into him.  The effects of ginger take a while to kick in so at first he just writhed in pleasure, opening himself to me.

“Take a deep breath, then breathe all the way out and push down as though you are trying to push the toy out,” I instructed.  As he obeyed, I felt his sphincters relax and I slipped the rest of the ginger in.  The wide base held it firmly in place so it didn’t disappear altogether. I generously thrust it in and out stimulating his prostate and coating every sensitive area with fresh ginger juice.   He bucked with pleasure… to start with…

Then the burning began…

He became confused as his pleasure turned to intensity.

“Mistress!  It burns!  What is it Mistress?”

“What is it?  It is what I want it to be,”  I replied amused.

He began to writhe with a different kind of urgency now as he struggled to process this new experience.   I strapped the butt plug in place with rope and cleverly positioned knots, stood back, folded my arms and watched.  I was purring like the pussy who got the cream.  I do so love to watch a man struggle until he realises the full extent of his helplessness.

The burning built steadily in strength and with each passing minute his begging for me to remove the ginger increased.  He wriggled and strained against his restraints to no avail.

“Oh does that burn does it slave?”  I asked in mock innocence,  “I did tell you there would be a price didn’t I?  You thought it was all about your pleasure didn’t you slave.  Did you think because you paid a tribute for this session, I was here to get you off?  Actually, you are here to entertain Me.”

The more I mocked the harder his cock became, even as he suffered.  More importantly, his normal mind-state had shifted.  He was no longer dominated by the logical, ‘talking self’ part of his consciousness.  He was drifting into a different place within.

“Yes Mistress, I am Yours to do with as you please,”  he squeaked.

I reached down and pinched his nipple, hard, knowing that he would clench in sudden pain, squeezing more ginger juice out and setting off another level of burning.  I followed this sensation with a mixture of pleasurable cock sensations and volley of hard slaps against his buttocks.   Pleasure, pain, pause….

He grunted, his bottom blossomed with red hand prints and an endorphin rush kicked in moments later.   He was getting close now, I could feel it… close to the edge… he just needed a little shove and he would drop, deep, down into subspace and fly… and I would be right there with him, feeding off his reactions and riding high with my own twisted Top space.

“Oh poor slave, you are burning up.  Would you like me to cool you down?”

I didn’t wait for an answer.   I straddled his head, one leg over each side, my thighs pressing against his ears.

“Tell me again how you are just a thing to be used for my entertainment slave.  Tell me again how you are nothing but a fuck toy.  An object.  Owned body, mind and soul.

“Yes Mistress he cried out, inhibitions abandoned now, “I am everything you say.  I am Yours entirely!”

With that, I reached down, slipped my knickers to one side and spread my pussy lips wide open.  I felt the tingles of rushing energy through my body as the urge to urinate built until I could hold it not longer.  I began to relieve myself on his head…  As I let go of my very full bladder, another, more difficult to define, dam broke within me and I snarled with the pleasure of it. I was all powerful Goddess, marking My territory.  Piss splattered on the plastic wrap, forming yellow pools of urine…  and then showered steadily down through the carefully positioned air holes… pungent streams of piss trickling down his face, drenching him thoroughly…  Wayward rivulets entering the corners of his mouth which he licked at greedily, fully in his animal self now…

That was the trigger we both needed.  I felt his whole energy shift.  He just dropped in utter surrender with me riding his back all the way Home.  A moment of living awareness… of being all that is left when the social scripts and ego illusions are torn away…   Just being pure consciousness flying together in ecstasy.

This was not where we engaged in sexual climax to end the scene… This was just the launching pad…  Just the beginning of our play…

Mistress Artemisia de Vine Sydney Pro Domme AzureAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Domme and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness.  She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevent to their personal journey.  She loves to explore pleasure, the Mysteries of Existence and just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.   She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.  She is at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

If the link between BDSM and shadow work intrigues you, you may be interested in reading this blog on Conscious Kink and Humiliation Play. 

Website: www.consciouskink.com
Subscribe to mailing list
Follow her on Twitter

 

 

Sep 272014
 

Professional Disciplinarian SydneyPart Two of a spanking story based on a real domestic discipline and corporal punishment role plays I do with some of my clients.  The basic premise of the script is their idea.  They choose to play the errant husband who wants to be punished by their sister-in-law for taking their wife for granted…. Or very similar variations on the same theme…  Contains adult themes, over-the-knee (OTK) bare bottom hand spanking, caning, corner time, behavior correction, humiliation, coercion, sexism and forced cross-dressing.  


Start with PART ONE here: bare bottomed, OTK, hand spanking…

‘Bend over and place your palms flat in front of you Paul,‘  I said pointing to the solidly constructed wooden table.

He appeared to steal himself for what he knew was coming next but to his credit his did not protest.  Perhaps he thought it best to get it over with.  He laid himself over the table, red spanked bottom poking out from under his business shirt and splayed his fingers out in front of him.

I rummaged around in the draw for a moment watching with amusement as Paul’s head cocked to the side trying to work out what I was doing.  He didn’t dare turn around to look.

Eventually I found what I was looking for and hummed to myself as I walked slowly up behind him, black heels clicking ominously on the tiles.  I bent down close so he could feel the warmth of my breath against his ear as I quietly but firmly explained what was going to happen next.

‘See these marbles?’ I asked holding two large, multi-coloured class orbs in front of his face.

‘Yes.’

‘Yes who?‘

‘Yes Ma’am,‘  He quickly corrected himself.

‘That’s better.  I am going to place these on the backs of your fingers,’ I said following through as I spoke, ‘They need to stay there without rolling off while you receive your discipline.  Each time they roll off we will add another cane stroke to your set.  You currently have two sets of 6 to get through.  Do you understand?’

‘Yes Ma’am‘  he said dismayed.

‘Good boy’.

I stood back up and slowly walked around the table and picked up the junior cane.  “We will start with the lighter of the two since this is your first time”, I said bending the flexible rattan for dramatic effect.

I walked back out of his line of sight, each step deliberate and pronounced in the kitchen acoustics.

‘This is going to hurt.  A lot.  You are going to take it like a man because you know you deserve it and you want your wife back.  This is your penance,’ I stated with no room for argument.  ‘How well you do will have a direct effect on what I choose to tell Clara and you know my influence with her is strong’.

I paused to let that sink in.

‘Between each stroke you will breath all the way out and then when you have gained your composure, you will count the stroke and thank me for taking the time to correct your behavior.  You will say, “One thank you Ma’am, Two thank you Ma’am” and so forth.   Is that clear?

‘Yes Ma’am’, replied Paul with no hesitation this time.

‘Good because if you lose count or forget to thank me, we will begin that set again’.

Paul shifted his weight slightly but did not comment.

I lifted Paul’s shirt out of the way and folded it neatly back exposing him fully.  His bare bottom was swollen and red but as yet unmarked in any way that would last more than a few hours.  It was time to correct this.

‘We tend to remember the lessons that are seared into our flesh Paul”, I said  finding my stance and getting the measure of my swing.  I tapped the cane lightly across both cheeks.
Then taking my time, I drew back and sliced through the air with a perfectly placed stroke.   vivid red welt blossoming across his bottom.

Paul’s sharp intake of breath made it clear he felt it.  Every inch of it.  He let his breath out hard and adjusted himself slightly but the marbles stayed balanced on the back of his hands.

“One thank you Ma’am,”  he said with stiff control that clearly took an effort.

I tapped to take aim again and then whoosh, the cane whipped through the air and landed half an inch below the first welt.

“Phewwww,”  he breathed but did not falter.  “Two thank you Ma’am”.
A third, then a fourth stroke biting into his skin and the already tender flesh beneath.  I could see him wincing and clenching his jaw but his hands remained perfectly still.

I laid out two more strokes with artistic precision.  ‘Five thank you Ma’am’  then ‘Six thank you Ma’am’, he managed to make it through the first round.

‘Good boy Paul.  I can see I am starting to get through to you.  Now tell me about what you have thought about.  How are you going to be proactive in making changes dramatic enough to make you worthy of my sister?’

He cleared his throat and offered, ‘I will definitely help more around the house’.

‘Help you say? To say you are helping implies that housework is your wife’s responsibility and you are assisting her in her duties.  That isn’t good enough.  I need you to understand that housework is as much your responsibility as it is hers.  Do you understand?’

‘Right yes, of course, you are right,’ he said hurriedly, realising his mistake too late.

I walked around the table and placed the junior cane down only to replace it with the senior cane.  Let’s mark this new resolution into your flesh with this, the most painful punishment you have received yet,’  I said, completely devoid of emotion. ‘Time you will thank me exactly as before after each stroke but you will also ask for another stroke to show me you are serious about mending your ways.

I found my stance and practiced my aim again while reminding Paul, ‘This stroke is to remind you that until I say otherwise, it is in fact now your duty to ensure the housework is done.  This is to make up for all the years you have taken Clara for granted, you will now take the role she used to take and if you are lucky she may “help” you every now and then.  Just like you used to “help” her.’

Without waiting for him to agree I pulled back my arm and laid a hard fast stroke right across his bottom.  This time, he couldn’t keep silent.  A jagged moan involuntarily escaped his lips and the marbles wobbled dangerously on the backs of his fingers.

It took him several moments before he gathered himself enough to say, ‘One thank you Ma’am, may I please have another?’

I smiled to myself.  Now my methods were really starting to take effect.  ‘Good.  Let’s see what else you have learned.  What else are you going to do to change your behavior?  Make it good.‘

‘Er… I will be more grateful, especially for Clara’s cooking’.

‘Yes you will, and in order to really value the effort put into cooking, you will now cook as often as you expected Clara to for the foreseeable future.  You will even make a special effort to learn great recipes for her favorite dishes and slave away for hours to lay on three course meals for her and her friends to help her socially network.  You can do this on top of your full time job just like Clara used to do for you.  Do you understand?’.

‘Yes Ma’am!‘ he replied unwilling to argue.

‘I will visit unannounced to spot check you cooking is up to scratch’.

The cane whistled through the air and sliced into his bottom with vicious precision.  His body shuddered  under the impact and he eventually whimpered, ‘Two thank you Ma’am! may I please have another?’

‘Good.  Now what else have you learned?’

‘That I mustn’t demand intimate relations‘ he replied.

‘Correct.  After working all day in an office, coming home and doing the cooking and the housework while you rested with your feet up, the last thing a wife wants is intimate relations.  As part of making yourself worthy of Clara you will be signing up to learn the art of female arousal from a practitioner of the erotic arts and you will attend tantra classes together so you can learn how to truly pleasure a woman.  Not just pleasure, but connect to her, because funnily enough, it is not just about you.  May this cane stroke imprint that deeply on your flesh, ‘ I said as I took aim and delivered my hardest stroke yet.

Paul squirmed and let out a cry.  There was a rolling sound and a loud clunk as both marbles fell off his fingers, rolled across the table and skitted onto the tiles with an echoing clatter.  Instead of staying firmly on the table as requested, both his hands were now rubbing his bottom furiously.
‘Forgotten your instructions already I see,‘ I said calmly, hiding my amusement, ‘Both marbles on the floor! Looks like we will have to add two cane strokes to your total for this set, bringing it up to 8.  Six is the traditional number of course.  Just be grateful I am only adding two strokes and not adding two extra sets of six to keep things neat and tidy’.

Paul groaned.  ‘I can’t!’ he said.

‘Well you can stop at any point of course I reminded him, ‘but it would be a shame since you have come so far.  Five more strokes and you will be finished and my sister will consider taking you back.‘

There was silence as he considered this.

‘‘Pick up the marbles Paul,‘ I said with deathly calm.

He looked at me with concern in his eyes but immediately dropped to his knees to search for the glass spheres.  I just watched and waited, arms folded.

Eventually he found them and presented them to me.

This time he bent over the table without being asked.  I replaced the marbles on the backs of his fingers, leaning in close, brushing against him.
‘What else have you learned Paul?’

He was straining to come up with anything now.  His distress was a playing across the theatre of his face.

‘May I suggest that perhaps this cane stroke could remind you not be so consumed with yourself and your work but also make Clara a priority in your life?’

‘Yes, yes of course!‘  he agreed, relieved to be given a clue. ‘I will pay her much more attention and listen to her feelings and all that,‘  he said guessing at what was required of him.

‘Something like that,‘ I replied amused.  ‘You will no longer only think about how Clara plays the support role to your dreams and passions but will actively play the support role to hers.  That means attending her work functions and listening to the things that are important to her.  It also means arranging to take Clara out to the kinds of entertainment she enjoys.  You will be the perfect opera date for her without a hint that you are bored or disinterested.  Is that clear?’

‘Yes Ma’am,‘ he gulped.

I took aim and delivered the next two strokes in quick succession, cruelly on the same spot.  This was a new level of pain for Paul and he reeled but did not slump for shear terror at the prospect of losing the marbles and having more strokes added to his sentence.

“Four and five thank you Ma’am! May I please have another?’

‘Good I thought to myself.  He really must care for my sister after all to endure this to be given a chance to get back together with her.  At his core he wasn’t a bad man.  He was just spoilt.  Luckily for him there is a cure for spoilt.

‘Repeat after me Paul, “Clara deserves to be treated like the Goddess she is!”

Without hesitation he repeated my words back to me and judging by the tremble in his voice, he actually meant it.

‘Good man,’ I said rewarding him by no longer calling him a ‘boy’ in acknowledgement he was now beginning to behave like an adult.

The last three strokes were no less severe but I no longer tormented him with penance.  I delivered smarting blow one after the other giving him just enough time to gasp and thank me.  Six, seven and finally with a solid crack eight.

He let out sob before he could gather himself.  I nodded to myself in satisfaction.  I had made an impression.  Paul’s re-wiring was under way.

I removed marbles from hands and he sat down with a thump only to spring straight back up again when he realised how sore his bottom was.   He attempted to hide the fact that there were tears in his eyes, and discretely blew his nose into a tissue.  I didn’t say a word until he finished and stood uncertainly waiting to be instructed.

‘Paul, I am going to call Clara and have her pick you up.  In the meantime I want to you to put your trousers back on and stand in corner and wait for her to arrive.  I suggest you use that time to think up the very best apology you can muster’.

He looked miserable but bent down to retrieve his underwear obediently.

‘No not those underwear Paul,‘ I said confiscating his cotton briefs, ‘These ones’.  I held up a pair of pink lacy panties.  You will wear nothing but lady’s knickers until you learn to respect femininity.  You will wear them to work under your expensive suits and you will wear them at home as you do the housework.  They will serve as a reminder to self-correct your behavior as out go about your business.’

Paul’s eyes widened in disbelief at this indignity.  He stood there for a moment then reached over and picked up the lingerie I offered him fir thumb and forefinger as though they would burn him.  His face burned with embarrassment and his jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth but he dared not utter a protest.  He slowly bent down and slipped the offending hot pink panties on, pulling them up over his smarting bottom, dressed himself agin in his neat pinstripe trousers and belt and placed himself in the corner.

The image of him standing there, nose to the wall, waiting patiently was the image of an entirely new Paul.  His re-programming was well under way.
***
A week later I spoke to Clara on the phone.  ‘How are things going with Paul?‘ I asked.

‘Amazing! gushed Clara.  ‘I don’t know what you did to him but it has been all flowers, attentiveness ever since he came back from your place.  He cooks *and* does the dishes!  There have been a few small slip ups where he drifted back into his habitual ways but all I had to do was mention that perhaps he needed some more sister-in-law therapy and he pulled himself into line quick smart!  Just goes to show that your unconventional methods really work.’

Professional Disciplinarian SydneyAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based professional disciplinarian pasionate about all things spanking, domestic discipline and corporal punishment.  She is a true switch and plays the role of both Spanker and Spankee.  She specialises in traditional domestic scenes, from the playful to the intense including behavior correction, role play and ecstatic spanking sessions.  See more here…

Sep 272014
 

Professional Disciplinarian SydneyPart One of a spanking story based on a real domestic discipline and corporal punishment role plays I do with some of my clients.  The basic premise of the script is their idea.   They choose to play the errant husband who wants to be punished by their sister-in-law for taking their wife for granted…  or very similar variations on that theme…  Contains adult themes, over-the-knee (OTK) bare bottom hand spanking, caning, corner time, behavior correction, humiliation, coercion, sexism and forced cross-dressing.

‘All of it!’ I said sternly, as he struggled to swallow another large mouthful of gloopy, cold porridge.   Paul, a lean but muscular man in his 40’s, loosened his imported grey & cream silk tie and looked up at me sullenly from his seat at the kitchen table.  He ran a hand through his cropped walnut hair with perfectly manicured fingers and wrinkled his nose in distaste.  He stared up at me, an unspoken protest in his hazel eyes and a crimson frustration on his pale white cheeks but chewed on with silent determination.

Out there, in the corporate world, he was a manager.  He was the type who was so self assured he never questioned his entitlement to bark orders, have others run his errands and to plonk himself down in the most comfortable seat without a thought for anyone else. He was used to having others do as he told them.

Here he obeyed me.  He didn’t dare not to.

‘Fifty chews before each swallow,‘ I ordered him,  ‘I want you to meditate on each mouthful and remember how you got yourself into this situation.’

He sighed heavily but obediently spooned another mouthful of claggy oats into his mouth and began chewing resentfully.   The sound of his rhythmic munching matched the ticking of the gilded clock on the wall above his head.  I counted in a clipped tone to ensure he knew I meant exactly what I had said.  50 chews.  No more, no less.

Two springy rattan canes rested on the bench in front of him reminding him of what was to come.  One junior cane, 8mm in diameter and 60cm long for so-called lighter strokes and one senior cane at 10 mm thick, 80cm long, heavy enough to make a decent impact on the flesh that one would not forget in a hurry.

Paul couldn’t get out of the punishment but how many cuts he received, depended on how well he took the rest of his discipline and how satisfied I was that he had learned his lesson.

I ran my palms down the thighs of my fitted skirt to straighten out imaginary wrinkles, cleared my throat in a prim, lady-like manner and leaned down towards him.  My cream shirt, though buttoned sensibly did little to hide my large round breasts.  Nothing I wore ever managed to hide them.  They just rebelliously protruded with alarming regularity.

‘After each mouthful is swallowed I want you to say, “I will never be ungrateful for my wife’s cooking again”, do you understand me?‘  I ordered in a calm, no nonsense tone.  ‘Your wife has sent you to me to correct the behavior that is destroying your relationship and you will not leave here until I am convinced your behavior is permanently corrected’.

He nodded, chewed for a little longer, swallowed and repeated quietly, ‘I will never be ungrateful for my wife’s cooking again’.

‘Loud and clear please, say it again so I can hear you properly’.

He blushed, an internal struggle on his face as he felt the injustice of his position.

I bent down to pick up the junior cane and flex it provocatively.  ‘It seems you are not taking this seriously Paul.  Perhaps you need six of the best to motivate you?  Stand up, drop your trousers’.

His eyes widened in protest, ‘But I did what you said!’ he complained.

‘Why are you arguing with me?  Is that doing as I say?’ I said with one raised eyebrow.  ‘Need I remind you that you agreed to this Paul?  It is unconventional marriage therapy but extremely effective.  You need to convince me you are thoroughly reformed before your wife, my sister, will take you back.  The more you resist, the longer this will take… and the redder your bottom will be.  I suggest you do not keep me waiting’.

He visibly swallowed the words he longed to say, this educated man used to having his own way…  Used to having female personal assistants do his bidding… Used to taking his wife for granted in a million little ways…

I calmly stared him down until he complied.  He stood up, pushed the wooden chair back making a dramatic scraping sound against the pristine white tiles and began fumbling with the clasp on his back leather belt.

‘Look is this really necessary?  Can’t you just cane me over my pants?‘  his embarrassment at being treated like a naughty little boy causing his voice to crack a little.

‘You do realise that delaying will do nothing to get you out of this Paul?‘ I replied ignoring his discomfort.

He sighed heavily again and removed the belt entirely, folding it neatly on the table  beside him and then when he could find nothing else left to delay the matter, he reluctantly dropped his perfectly creased, pinstriped pants. He stood there looking at me, waiting for his next instruction.

I let the corner of my mouth curl in the hint of a satisfied smile.  I leaned back, arms folded across my breasts and looked at the image before me.  Paul still had his crisp white office shirt and pinstriped vest on, his tie loosened around his neck but his pants made an appealing pool around his ankles and shiny, black polished shoes.  He looked distractingly appealing in those gray cotton briefs.  He was an attractive man.

He would make a beautiful husband for my sister Clara if he could only be taught to respect women.  He was single child whose mother had doted on him and he took his wife’s efforts in their relationship for granted as a result.  His attitude was also causing problems amongst the female staff at work.

What it came down to is that he was spoilt.  I am a firm believer that it is never too late to take a man over my knee and give him a sound spanking.  Strict discipline is thoroughly under-rated in today’s politically correct world.  I had seen my sister suffering in her relationship with Paul and eventually she became so exasperated that she came around to my way of thinking.  We had put our heads together to plot a way to get Paul the behavior correction he so clearly needed.

‘Since this is your first ever corporal punishment experience Paul, we will begin with a thorough hand spanking to warm up your flesh.  This is a kindness on my part for which you should be grateful.

He just stood there silently.

‘When someone is kind to you Paul, it is polite to say thank you’.
He hesitated.

‘Thank you,‘  he mumbled.

‘Thank you who?‘ I asked?

He just looked confused.

‘Thank you Ma’am,‘  I instructed. ‘For the remainder of our time together you will always refer to me as ma’am to remind you of your place’.

‘Yes… Yes, ma’am,‘ he said not sure if I was joking of not.  He would soon discover I was deadly serious.

Fetch me that chair,‘ I said pointing to the one he had previously occupied.

He complied, turning to give me a lovely view of his perfectly formed buttocks as he shuffled across the floor compensating for the fact that his pants were playing the part of shackles around his ankles.

He placed the chair in the centre of the room and stood back to give me access.  His full attention was on me.  This was an improvement from his usual oblivious selfishness.

I, took my suit jacket off and hung it neatly over the back of the chair and sat down, straight backed and proper.  I rolled up my shirt sleeves, adjusted my pearl necklace and slid my skirt up a little to make myself more comfortable.  As I did so, a little more of my nylon clad thighs became visible.  I pretended not to notice and patted my leg.

“Lean over my lap Paul.  Place yourself so your bottom is in easy reach of my right hand’.

‘Yes.’

‘Yes who?‘  I purred dangerously.

‘Yes Ma’am,‘  He quickly corrected himself and awkwardly tried to lay himself over my lap.   I had to grasp his waist firmly and pull him closer to me to ensure he did not fall off.

This is for your own good you know Paul,‘ I said leaning forward and neatly pulling down his underwear to expose his pale round bottom.

‘Now look here,‘ said Paul wriggling himself free and standing up indignantly, ‘ I have agreed to submit to your unusual methods because it is the only way that I can get my wife back, but you are her sister!  My sister in law!  I have to see you at Christmas dinners and social events!  I did not not agree to be humiliated like this!  It is just not right that you pull down my underwear!’

‘You did agree to do whatever it takes to convince me you are worthy of Clara, Paul.  She is my little sister and looks up to my opinion in these matters.  If I tell her you are contrite and truly sorry then she will give you another chance.

However, you are right, you do not have to go ahead.  You can leave at any time.‘  I said picking up my mobile phone and searching for Clara’s number.   I soon found her plump smiling face in amongst my contacts.  Her deceptively cherubic face framed by neat blonde hair tied back in a sensible ponytail.

‘Look!’  I said holding up the phone so he could have a good look at her image.  Her large soft eyes, porcelain skin and impressive cleavage reminding him how much she meant to him.

She was definitely my sister!  We looked very much alike.  We both sported womanly curves, and a mature sort of attractiveness, though I was a little taller and 3 years older.  She was 35 now and running out of time to have children.  She needed  her husband to grow up so he could become good father material.  Something he clearly wasn’t going to be capable of if he was still acting like a child himself.

‘We can video call her right now and tell her you’ve called the whole thing off if you would prefer,’ I said matter-of-fact.

I pressed dial before he could answer and his eyes widened.  The phone took a moment to register and then began to ring.

One… then two rings…

‘No dont call her!  Just give me a minute!  Can’t we be reasonable about this?‘  He pleaded, trousers still around his ankles.

I just continued to hold the phone so he could clearly see it was still ringing while I calmly stared him down.  We both knew she could answer at any second.

‘Ok!  I’ll do it!  Just hang up.  I’ll do as you say.‘  he conceded desperately.

‘Yes you will,’ I smiled smugly, enjoying his consternation, and clicked the red disconnect button with my thumb.  ‘And for making such a fuss I have decided it will be two sets of six cane strokes.  Now quickly, stop wasting my time, bend over my lap’.

‘Yes… Ma’am’, he said remembering the Ma’am part just in time.

I tapped my foot impatiently on the tiles and nodded towards my thighs.  “Assume the position then.  Quick smart.”

He reluctantly complied, a look of disbelief that this was actually happening on his face.

Once he was firmly back in place, I sat there silent for just a moment, letting the anticipation build.  Paul had never been spanked in his life, let alone caned.  I was going to thoroughly enjoy breaking in his virgin bottom.

The stinging slap echoed through the kitchen, bouncing off the neat rows of china dishes and spice jars.   Paul jolted.

I remained silent and waited, letting the sensation sink in…  Letting the uncertainty of my next move build in his mind…

‘How many spanks will there be Ma’am?‘  he asked.

‘I think three rounds of three minutes each.  Each round will get a little firmer than the last until you are well and truly red and sore.  I will see if I think you need more at the end of that’.

‘Is that a lot Ma’am?‘  he asked, trying not to word his question in a way that would not provoke me further.

‘It is a light-average warm up.  Since this is your first time receiving this sort of discipline we will need to see how you bottom responds and proceed accordingly’.

I reached my hand into my jacket pocket, and retrieved an egg timer.  I then leaned down  and placed it in front of Paul on the floor.  ‘When the sand runs out we will stop for a break’.

Slap!  My cupped hand delivered another stinging blow, this time to his right buttock.  My hand print showed red against his snowy cheek.

Slowly at first I delivered a rhythmic succession of firm but not extraordinarily hard thwacks.  First one buttock and then the other… Paul was doing his best to take this alien experience with a manly stoicism.

Smack! Smack! Smack!  I leisurely treated each cheek to equal treatment, pausing between each sharp slap to let Paul fully absorb the sensation.  He took his first ever hand spanking in stiff silence with his eyes fixed on the grains tumbling through the narrow necked egg timer.  Eventually the last granule slipped through and I ceased my first round.

Paul’s muscles relaxed and slumped forward.  I made a mental note.  We would need to work on his posture too but for now he had taken his punishment well.

‘Very good Paul.  We are beginning to get somewhere.  Two more rounds of that and then we will begin in earnest’.

He grunted but did not reply.  I gave his bottom a good rub since his hands were occupied holding himself up.  I generously kneaded for a good minute and then remembering how he had showed so little consideration for Clara, abruptly decided that was enough molly coddling.

‘Ok, now for round two’.

This time I did not wait for him to brace himself.  I just began a steady drumming against his flesh.  Faster this time and quite a lot harder.  He began to curl up on his toes, clench his buttocks and holding his breath but not making a sound.

Amused at his inexperience, I noticed how he was making things more difficult for himself. ‘It will hurt less if you remember to breath and relax your muscles Paul,’ I said over the top of stinging spanks. He didn’t pay any attention, too overwhelmed by the painful indignity he was being subjected to to comprehend what I was saying.  I just shrugged and continued to lay into his pretty flesh.

I steadily built the intensity as the punishment wore on.  By the end of two minutes he was twisting his hips slightly to get away from each blow.  As we got closer to three he began letting out involuntary grunts with each blow.

‘Ten seconds to go I said turning the heat up even further with a volley of smarting spanks.  I heard his gasp and he begin to wiggle as his composure started to slip.

Five more seconds… 4… 3… 2… 1…

His breath was a valve letting out bottled up steam as I stopped hitting him and gave his bottom another rub.  He slumped in momentary relief.

‘Do you remember why you are receiving this discipline Paul?‘
‘Yes Ma’am, for disrespecting my wife Ma’am’.  He said breathing faster than usual.

‘Yes that is correct, what was it you said about her cooking again?‘  I said reaching down into my briefcase and removing a printed out email.

‘I… I can’t remember exactly,’  more than a hint of nervousness in his voice.

‘Let me remind you then shall I?,”  I said using his back like it was my desk.  ‘You said, her champignon chowder was as flavorless as porridge.  Apparently your work colleagues found this rather amusing.  You all got a jolly laugh at her expense after she slaved away over a hot stove all afternoon for you.  Isn’t that right?’

‘Well yes when you put it that way it does sound rather bad.  I was just trying to get a laugh.  Lighten the tension you know.  It was important for the business deal’.

‘Is the business deal so important that you would sacrifice your Clara’s dignity to seal it?‘ I asked deceptively mildly.

‘Ah no, I guess not’.

‘She also has a full time job you know and yet every evening she comes home and cooks dinner for you both while you loosen your belt in front of the TV with your feet on the coffee table.  She goes to all the trouble of cooking a lovely meal for your work colleagues to help you seal the deal you so desperately want and all you can do is humiliate her by publicly making her the butt of a joke.  A joke in poor taste at that.  What do you have to say for yourself?’

‘Well, in my defense it really was a bland chowder,‘  he argued missing the point entirely.

I sighed, ‘ It looks as though I will need to clear my calendar for the rest of the week.  You are such a slow learner that we may need to repeat this process every evening until you finally understand the gravity of your behavior and how it is destroying your marriage’.

‘Look I am sorry.  I do get it.  It wasn’t a nice thing to say.  I will take care not to be so flippant in future,‘  Paul quickly corrected himself.

‘Hmmm… we’ll see,‘ I responded in a voice clearly unconvinced, running my fingers along the fold creases of the email.

It seems this problem is a lot deeper than just one incident though isn’t it.  There is a real pattern of behavior that needs correcting from the foundation up.  Clara has some other complaints.  Let’s see what they are shall we?’

Paul shifted nervously, still awkwardly draped across my lap.

‘1. Laziness at home.

  1. Not following instructions when asked to help
  2. Being ungrateful, especially about cooking
  3. Being too consumed by your work and yourself
  4. Demanding intimate relations

‘My, my Paul, this does seem to be a deep seated problem doesn’t it.  I want to you think about these complaints and how you can improve yourself if you want to ever feel the sweet arms of my sister around you again.  I want to you to think long and hard while you receive your next round of spanking.

Without warning I began to spank him as hard and fast as I could without pause for the next three minutes.  I have a lot of practice correcting the behavior of errant husbands so my arm is quite strong.  This time he soon forgot his dignity and squirmed trying to get away from my hand.  With one smooth movement I adjusted Paul so he was only draped over one thigh while the other stocking-clad leg wrapped over the top of his to hold him solidly in place.  Then I just continued dispassionately, determined to teach him a lesson.

He was really feeling the effects of being reduced to a naughty boy now!  Unable to squirm away and unable to stop moans of pain escaping his lips, he no longer resembled the arrogant man who had earlier entered my kitchen.  He looked like the naughty little boy he was.
Last ten seconds, I said and really drew on my reserves to lay into him.

9…. 8… 7…

Paul grunted with each solid thwack.

6… 5… 4…

I had to really hold him still now…

3… 2… 1…

I stopped as suddenly as I had begun and gave myself a moment to catch my breath.  Paul just lay there panting and limp.  He would have to learn to take his punishment with more dignity in future.

After a moments pause, I untwined my leg from his and helped him up and gave him a chance to rub his own swollen, red bottom this time.  It really was blushing furiously now.  By the look on his face it was really smarting.

I stood up, straightened my skirt and brushed back a blonde curl that had managed to escape my tidy bun.  I stood unimpressed with my hands on my hips waiting for Paul to stop massaging his buttocks and give his attention back to me.

After giving him a moment to orient himself I reminded him, ‘This isn’t over yet Paul.  I want you to sit down and continue eating that whole bowl of cold porridge, meditate on why you are here for 50 whole chews per mouthful and thank me gratefully for feeding you between each bite.  Do you understand?‘

He nodded.  It did seem to be finally dawning on him how serious I was about this.  He went to pull up his pants.

‘uh-uh,‘ I shook my head.  You will remain trouser-less until this ordeal is over.  You may remove your shoes and pants entirely and fold them neatly.

He nodded, defeated and bent down to do as I said.

‘You may put them neatly in the laundry basket for now,‘ I instructed.

He did as he was told.  After placing his belonging neatly in the basket he came back and stood in front of me waiting to be told what to do.  His eyes were fixed on his toes.

‘Good’, I observed to myself,  ‘He is learning to follow instructions’.

‘Sit down Paul, there is still the matter of the porridge’.

He  sat down much more contritely this time, gingerly adjusting his sore bottom on the hard wooden chair and he began to eat.

I stood over him the whole time, watching like a hawk and counting his chews.  ‘You had better make sure you chew exactly 50 times or else I will add extra cane strokes for each chew you miss,‘  I threatened.

Glumly he continued, completely focused on getting it right.  “Thank you for the porridge Ma’am.  I will never be ungrateful for my wife’s cooking again,’ he parroted at the end of each swallow.  I was starting to believe it was sinking in.  However there were other items on that list of complaints from Clara so this was far from over yet.

Eventually he gulped down the last bit of porridge and I allowed him a glass of water.  He even thanked me without being asked to.  A definite improvement.

‘Now we are going to move onto the actual punishment Paul, I said eyeing the canes.

SEE PART TWO HERE…

Read other spanking and discipline stories here including: Ella is Taught a Lesson in Lady-like Behaviour: Punished by her half sister.

Professional Disciplinarian SydneyAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based professional disciplinarian & switch passionate about all things spanking, domestic discipline and corporal punishment.  She is a true switch and plays the role of both Spanker and Spankee.  She specialises in traditional scenes, from the playful to the intense including behavior correction, role play and ecstatic spanking sessions.  See more here…

Sep 112014
 

 

racist request number blockedMy beautiful colleague and fellow sex worker, Amber, received this enquiry today.  As you may guess from the context of the enquiry, Amber is black.  It made her feel ill.

If you have trouble reading the image, it says:

“Say 7:30-8pm for an hour/two depending on if you do doubles, black slave white masters role play etc with two handsome/physically fit white south Africans :)”

It is just wrong on so many levels. Fractally Wrong.  It is hard to know where to start!

However, when I finally I stopped fuming on Amber’s behalf, it did get me thinking about how to go about power exchange play within the context of a society rife with systems of privilege.  How do we negotiate our forbidden fantasies while also taking into account issues of racism, sexism etc?  Whether you are approaching a sexuality professional or a personal lover, these things bare weighty consideration and clearly folk like the above punters need lessons!

Many people excuse this sort insensitive sexual request by saying “Oh, it is only a fantasy”.

NewTrayLet me say, I’m a  professional dominatrix and switch so you better believe I role-play all sorts of politically incorrect fantasies.  I’m no prude when it comes to going hard to wrong-town and getting my freak on.  I honestly believe that when approached with awareness, sensitivity and consent, living out our forbidden fantasies can be deeply healing, not to mention superbly hot!

I would never, ever send a text like that casually asking for a racist session!

That said, some people, who are subject to real life racism, do in fact choose to live out eroticised versions of their pain.  I know because they have approached me.  So let us explore more appropriate ways of going about it.

Our amazing psyches erotise real life wounds and trauma in an attempt to transmute pain into pleasure.   When we do this consciously it can be empowering.  It can be a journey into owning our erotic shadows and making them work for us.

FurnitureFor example, it is very common for people to have sexual fantasies about being degraded or used… yet they do not really want to be degraded or used outside of a sexual context…  It is very well documented that lots of people enjoy rape fantasies but most definitely do not really want to be raped for real…

Some men enjoy having the size of their cock mocked in an erotic role play sense and yet in real life want their cock appreciated and admired…  Many women enjoy being called a slut or a whore during sex but in every day life hate being sexually harassed on the street or slut-shamed for expressing their sexuality…

You get the picture.  We often erotise what which hurts us the most.  The reasons for this are too complex to go into fully here, although if this topic interests you, you may enjoy this blog.

With this in mind,  I believe consensual, race-based, power exchange role play has its place.  It is possible to make the conscious choice to explore this aspect of the human psyche with willing participants.

However,  it is essential to do this in context.  We are living in a society where racism is insideously ever-present yet seemingly invisible to those on the privileged end of the race spectrum.   Race-based role play is situated deeply in systemic-level pain that is oh so real for the individuals within it.  Basically, racism is real kids and we need to take that into account.

 

On this day in 1957, 15-year-old Elizabeth Eckford encountered an angry mob when she attempted to enter Little Rock Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas

On this day in 1957, 15-year-old Elizabeth Eckford encountered an angry mob when she attempted to enter Little Rock Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas

It is very dicey for the for the party who comes from the benefiting side of racism to initiate this kind of play.   It is just astoundingly inappropriate for a white person to approach a person of colour randomly by text and ask them with no preamble or sensitivity!  This sort of request could be soul-crushingly offensive to someone who is already suffering.

Not everyone who has experienced racism is going to erotise it just like not everyone who has genuinely been oppressed for being a sex worker is going to eroticse being called a whore…  and not every man who has felt pain at the size of their cock will get off on being humiliated by it…  We all have different coping mechanisms.

But for those who do process racism by eroticising it, like all power-based sexual fantasies, it can be hugely hot and healing if initiated by those on the oppressed side of the coin… While race play is not my personal turn on, I’ve had clients request this of me and we had immensely powerful sessions together that have left us both stunned at how positive the outcome can be when done right!  However, they approached me and I provided the safe space for them to explore what they needed to.

If those on the privileged side of racism do initiate race play,  they damn well better have a thorough understanding of racism and be consciously doing everything possible to be sensitive about it… and actively contributing to a world without racism… They better have an openly stated intention to explore their own role in systems of privilege too otherwise they are just reinforcing the status quo. 

 

The enquiry Amber received is a yet another unconsciously racist micro aggression that Amber has to put up with.

Oww_Papercut_14365Micro aggressions are like a death of a thousand papercuts.  They are just a momentary wince, but to be on the receiving end of them day after day after day, it leaves your psyche a bloody pulp.  After years of this, yet another paper cut is enough to make you scream! 

 

everyday-sexism-bookIt is a similar story with gender-based power exchange  in sexual role play. Those that are on the benefiting side of sexism, damn well better be aware of it and be sensitive about it before approaching those that are oppressed by it.  Especially if asking them to play the role of sexual submissive, engage in sexist dirty talk or enact sexist stereotypes.

 

ilovelucyspankingThis isn’t just relevant for overt kinky role plays.  This is relevent for sex between non-kinky heterosexual couples too.  It pays to get active consent before assuming that is your job to take the lead for instance…

I am a Switch.  That means sometimes I take the dominant role and other times I take the submissive role in my kink play.   When I sub I sometimes like to live out sexist fantasies.

Sometimes I really get off on being called a slut or a whore or being ordered into my place.  Sometimes I like having my power taken away and being told what to do.  Sometimes I like overtly sexist banter while I am bent over someone’s lap and thoroughly spanked…

The truth is,  sexist power exchange is one of my hottest turn ons!  It is also one of my most painful realities as I am on the receiving end of sexist micro-aggression after sexist micro-aggression on a daily basis.  This stuff is genuinely wounding me in real life.

This means that I only feel safe and healthy playing these games if my male play partners are not blind to their gender privilege and if they approach me in such a way that shows respect and asks consent.  No leaping in there assuming because they have a cock and I have a pussy, they are going to take the lead in the sexual dance!

Privilege systems are complex and can work the other way too.  Many men prefer their lovers (of any gender) to take the lead but patriarchal themes make them feel ashamed of this.  Sexism has negative effects on pretty much everyone.  However for now I’ll stick to my main point.  That is, if you belong to the gender who only got the vote less than a century ago, it can feel really invasive to have someone from the gender who has had the vote for centuries, assume power over you.

Unfortunately we live in a world that is still full of unconscious gender and race privilege.  It’s in the very walls of our institutions.  Centuries of sexism and racism don’t just go away.  We’ve come far, and I’m proud of us for that, but we still have a big old hang over to deal with and privilege systems are still very much a problem.

ending racism So how do we go about setting up power exchange play in a healthy way when privilege is involved?

To do systemically privileged power play well, it is best to start by demonstrating your awareness of the issues when approaching a potential play partner.  Show, don’t tell them, that you understand the issues around power imbalance and empathise with their experiences.  

If you don’t have a clear understanding of these issues then damn well put in the time and effort to research it.  It’s time for some self-examination and education!  Make it clear to your potential partner-in-crime, you want to go about this play in ways that lead to less sexism and racism in the world.

gender equalityOnce trust is established and you have agreed to play, it is important to put systems in place to make a healthy outcome.

Personally I have a thorough pre-play consultation to establish boundaries and intentions together and put safe words in place to stop the action if things get too raw.   I also factor in a healthy de-brief and integration period afterwards.  Nothing rushed.

I arrange for aftercare where love and genuine respect is shown to all parties.  We may have been really mean to each other during sexy play times so this is important to bring things full circle.   Keeping in contact for several days afterwards is part of the process as these things can unfold for some time.

Participants may need to talk about how the play effected them in the context of every day lived experiences of racism or sexism.  Listening with presence and full attention is the way to go.  Having our voice heard by those who benefit from privilege systems is a huge part of healing.  It then allows space to hear how these systems are actually hurting everyone.  It helps us become a team working for mutually beneficial outcomes.

I also like to put in place a plan for how to handle things if any trauma buttons get inadvertently pushed mid-play.  In the rush of fight, flight, freeze or emotional melt down it helps to have tools prepared to manage the situation.  This can include agreeing to use safe words, communicating what is going on for you and then, if appropriate,  just holding each other tight while breathing slow conscious breaths until the emotion has moved on and we are calm enough to work through it… or keep playing as it appropriate…

It may sounds like I take the magic out of the play by doing all this but actually the opposite happens.  Once there is a safe container established, we are free to push each other deep into areas of play that otherwise wouldn’t be possible.  With the safety of trust, respect and big-hearted intention towards each other, we can create the space to fly!

When approached consciously, kinky power exchange play can lead us home to wholeness in ourselves in the most unexpected ways.  Perhaps even help heal racism and sexism overall.  Society is after all, made up of us.   Microcosm/macrocosm.  Dealing with the big problems as they appear in miniature versions in our personal relationships may be the only real way to make a difference.

Artemisia de Vine

Artemisia de Vine

About the Author: Artemisia de Vine is a professional dominatrix, switch, sex worker and practitioner of the conscious erotic arts based in Sydney, Australia. Described as elegantly perverted,  she sports a greedy appreciation for the full spectrum of human sexuality, from the sensual to the elaborately kinky.   She is passionate about helping people explore their unique erotic wiring through play sessions.  She approaches sexuality as a form of self discovery with the potential for great pleasure, connection, personal transformation and most of all, fun!

Website: Conscious Kink:

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Jul 052014
 

Mistress corporate logoHello Ms de Vine,

I just wanted to reiterate how amazing it was and how much I got out of it. The fact that you listened to what I was after and then incorporated it seamlessly into an incredible session, where all the way through the session it really felt like we were in the role play scenario that had been created. I said that the what I was really into was the overlap between submission, pain and sexuality and the session certainly hit that sweet spot (as I suspect you could tell from the mind-blowing orgasm I had at the end!) while also really pushing my boundaries. I’m already thinking about our next session and where I might ask you to push my boundaries a bit further!

Below I’ve put down some more of my thoughts regarding the session. Feel free to use any or all of it (and any of this email) on your blog/website as long as you keep me totally anonymous.

Here is how Anonymous described what actually happened in session

“I made sure I turned up right on time (not early or late) for my 2 hour session with Ms De Vine. Although I was a little nervous she immediately put me at ease with her welcome and a soothing cup of tea with our pre-session chat. I had already talked to Ms De Vine regarding what I was after but the pre-chat went into much further detail and Ms De Vine really digged down into what I was after to ensure that the session was as amazing as possible. I had indicated my likes and dislikes and said to Ms De Vine that my overarching interest was a role play session where we explored the overlap between submission, pain and sexuality.

knickersAfter a quick shower I re-entered the play space (naked naturally) and, as a naughty nephew, started to examine some lingerie that my Auntie has left out. After a couple of minutes she came in and asked what the hell I was doing. Her eyes were immediately drawn to my small cock, which she left me in no doubt was inadequate. I was given two choices, be exposed as a pervert with a tiny dick or take the punishment that my auntie had devised. Naturally I chose to be punished.

Auntie immediately informed my that as I had a small clitty rather than a penis I should be dressed not as a boy but as the girl I was such and was made to put on a pair of Aunties girly panties. They didn’t stay up for very long though as Auntie put me across her knee and gave me a hard spanking. Once my bum was nice and red she led me over to the bench where I was given a further hard spanking with the paddle and strap.

Auntie then led me back to her couch and told me to stand in front of her with my hand on my heads while she tied up my cock and balls. This took some time as Auntie had some trouble due to the smallness of my penis. Auntie of course managed to succeed and then gave my clit and balls the whipping that they deserved. It stung let me tell you leading me to drop my hands a couple of times and incur a further punishment later on. As Auntie had identified my clitty was never going to satisfy a women she generously offered to instruct me in the worship and pleasure of a women using my tongue. I tried my best, but naturally I was not up to the task and so Auntie punished my balls (hard)  further on several occasions with her foot (ball busting). Eventually she told me to stop my inadequate efforts and told me it was time for further punishment.

Mistress high heelsAfter some further cock and ball torture, Auntie told me to lie down on the bench and start playing with my clitty. The fact I only needed to use two fingers to pleasure myself caused Auntie a lot of amusement. Just as I was starting to feel good Auntie started to cane my penis, drawing me close to orgasm several times before bringing the cane down on my cock.

Eventually she took mercy on me and said I could orgasm as long as I begged enough for it. I begged hard let me tell you! Begging Auntie to keep rubbing my little clitty until I could cum. At one point she stopped right on the edge and I thought she was going to stop but after some further begging she kindly allowed me to cum (and have a mind-blowing orgasm). After disgustingly wiping away the cum she told me if she caught me playing with her underwear again the punishment would be twice as bad.

Overall this was a mind-blowing session. Ms De Vine really created a role play environment that I believed I was in all the way throughout. She listened to what I was after and incorporated it into the session (especially the overlap between submission, pain and sexuality) while pushing my boundaries in several areas (beyond even what I had thought possible) and because we had a good understanding of where our interests overlapped I really felt that Ms De Vine was as into the session as I was. In addition she took the time after the session was over to ensure I was ready to re-nter the real world! I will be booking another session soon!”

Jun 052014
 

dominatrix strap on 1Anal play and, in particular, pegging, is such a popular session!  After all it is one of the best ways to access the male G spot.  Who would want to miss out on that?

Over the years working as a professional dominatrix I’ve become experienced in anal play on men from finger to fist and everything in between.  There are many ways in which to approach anal play.  However, it is not just the toys we use or which anal techniques we’ve learnt but also the attitude with which we approach a play scene that makes the experience full of fireworks.

CDR457840 digital rectal examEach of us has unique erotic wiring, so it is important to go about pegging in a way that taps into your core erotic themes.  It’s no good being all sensual if you are turned on by the idea of being ravished and taken by a dominant woman… Likewise, it is no good being ordered into a degrading position if you are the type who needs seductive coaxing…  Is being pegged a reward or punishment for you?  A sensual connection or a degrading sex act?   Is it a power game or  the expression of equal lovers?  One person’s turn on is another’s trauma so it is an important part of the consent process to discuss this before you play.

To help you ask for what it is you really crave, I have put together some of the more popular scenarios that get my boys excited to bend over for me.  It’s far from an exhaustive list but covers some of the main fantasy  and play styles.  Which one are you?  Are you a combination of several of these?  What key themes do you  need in order for pegging to work for you?

beginner strap onAdded Spice with all Things Nice:

Key themes: Added Sensation, experimentation, Curiosity

This style is for those who are new to exploring anal play and pegging.   This type of player usually does not want to make pegging the entire focus of the session but treat it like an added spice to their main meal to give it a bit of kick.  These types tend to be more sexual rather than BDSM-focused.

Works well with:  Single digit Prostate massage, small training dildo or vibrator, sex

tantra dildoSensual Surrender:

Key Themes: Intimacy, Connection, Sensuality, Opening, Surrender, Ecstasy, Erotic Trance

Not everyone who likes to receive the attentions of my strap on is into being dominated or degraded.  (For those that do like it dirty or all about power and control, scroll on down. Your type is here too).  Anal play can be a deeply sensual, profoundly receptive experience.  To have someone enter your body with fingers or toys is to surrender and open in a way that is hard to describe.  People into this style of pegging often respond well to a full body sensual seduction first to help drop them down into a floaty aroused state.  An extended external anal massage and teasing session helps relax and arouse… preparing the body for penetration.

When its time to begin, we start gently with a single finger, loosening the anal sphincter muscles.  Pegging is never forced.  We wait until the anus invites my dildo in.  We synch rhythms through music and by tuning into what their body is ready for.   Staying deeply relaxed can make way for male G spot orgasms.  For sensual peggers, it’s about taking the time to truly sink into and open to the experience.   There are two main sub categories amongst the Sensual Surrender Types.

intimacy strap on sex2Sensual Intimacy Types:  It is important to note that some of the Sensual Surrender types will be seeking intimacy and connection while others are going into a sort of erotic trance inside themselves.   Those that seek intimacy usually seek eye contact and often enjoy being placed on their back with their legs in the air and being “made love to”.    Supportive leg harnesses and slings can help them relax their legs and therefore anal sphincters while holding this position.

My lovers bottomSensual Erotic Trance Types: are those who like to close their eyes and become completely overwhelmed by the sensations.  They go somewhere inside themselves. For trance types the play style is about facilitating surrender much like a massage therapist.  This kind of experience is about being embodied  and it helps if they feel held and supported so they can let go and submerge themselves in the experience.   This allows the trust needed for them to drop down deep.  It can be quite distracting to try to use intimacy or fantasy when they are in this state.  It can snap them right out of the embodied erotic bliss.   It always pays to negotiate what your intention is for the play session so you are not pulling in different directions.

Works well with: a full body massage, sensation play, feathers, silk scarves, blindfolds, essential oils, tantric breathing and trance techniques, sex slings, supportive foot/leg harnesses.

dominatrix strap on 2Dominatrix Dick:

Key themes: Domination, Control, Fear, Intimidation, Submission, Sadism, Masochism

For some pegging is about being dominated.  The thought of a woman with an intimidating strap-on standing over them, ordering them to bend over and spread their butt cheeks gets them immediately hard…  Or teetering on subspace…  For some this style of play is about being sexually turned on and for others it is purely an act of submission.  It’s very important to communicate which of these you are.  The more information you give your Domme about how you are wired, the more fun she can have manipulating you in ways that suit her…  And this type of session is all about what She wants…

These types often respond well to waiting on their hands and knees, ready to obey their Domme’s every word.    The scene here is about having their boundaries pushed and offering up their vulnerable asshole to please their Mistress.  She makes them take more than they thought possible.  Being a little (or a lot!) afraid of what she will do next is big part of it.  Anal play may be seen as a punishment or a reward in these play scenes. Those into Dominatrix Dick often respond well to being called “slave”. Use safe words in this role play to stop the scene if necessary.

Works well with: Bondage, Punishment, Intense Sensation Play, Fisting, Footing, Butt plugs, Enemas, Prostate milking, Figging, Electric Play, Proctoscopes, Anal hooks.

strap on big blackRavished  Rear End:

Key Themes:  Being Desired,  Taken, Overpowered

For some pegging is about being ravished and taken.  It feels good to be the object of desire and see the urgent need in your lover’s eyes.  It can feel great to be the one being “done to” rather than the one “doing” for a change.  While in real life, no one wants to be raped, it is a very popular role play fantasy to be “forced” to receive the very pleasure we secretly want.   This can take the form of being “forced”  to be penetrated with primal lust.  Perhaps they are made helpless with bondage or perhaps mind games allowing  that psychologically dominate  them to allow themselves to be used for someone else’s animalistic pleasure.

It is important to consent to this in a clear discussion beforehand and to utilise safe words should you need to stop the scene.  A safe word is a word used to stop all activity and check in to see what is wrong.  Safe words are vital in this situation because the person being ravished may want to role play protesting by saying “No, please don’t do it to me!”  and “But you are so big! I’m so scared”  or various other forms of protests.  If you have a safe word,  the ravishing can proceed with the creative gusto and all involved can sink right into the role play without fear they are actually causing harm.

Works well with: Restraint, Mixture of Rough and Sensual play, Erotic Play, Head fucking.

strap on harness 6Reluctantly Naughty:

Key Themes: Naughtiness, Dirtiness, Seduction, Forbidden Fruit, Manipulation, Submission, Coaxing, Nurturing, Control

These players enjoy the fact that anal play is still considered taboo and dirty.  They enjoy the feeling of  “wrongness”  and of  being coaxed and seduced into doing something wicked.   Some like to protest and play innocent but have someone else tease and coax them into giving up their vulnerable hole to be penetrated.   It is a form of submission and control through a mixture of authority and seduction.  Again safe words are a very good idea so you know when the reluctance is play acting and when it is real.

Works well with: Role Play, Age play, Teacher/school student, Boss/employee, Baby sitter/teenaged boy, Hot neighbor caught you peeping through her window and has decided to have her way with you or she’ll dob you in… You get the idea…

squirting strap onSlutty Toy :

Key Themes: Degradation, Being Used, Humiliation, Objectification, Domination and Submission

This style is for those who are turned on by feeling erotically used and degraded.   Picture all the stereotypes of the slut or the whore being used for another’s pleasure.  Of course I am far too sex-positive to really believe those stereotypes but it can be hot to tap into that archetype in role play.   Slutty toys often like being on their hands and knees being trained to deep throat and having their holes stretched by dildo after dildo in by ever increasing size.  These types can enjoy being trained to take whatever Mistress pleases in whatever way she likes.  Some times this can include either fantasising about or actually getting extra people of various genders to join in the fun.

Works well with:  Gang Bangs, Slut training, Exhibitionism, Forced Bi scenarios, Glory Holes, Butt plugs, Spit Roasting

sissy slut strap onThe Sissy Slut

Key Themes: Gender fucking, Being Desired, Feminine, Submissive, Degradation, Feeling Exposed, Vulnerability, Used, Objectification

This is for those who enjoy playing with gender.  It is very common to draw on traditional (and out-dated) ideas about what makes someone masculine and feminine  and swap them around.  Again, I do not believe these stereotypes are how we really are but they are nontheless super hot to mess around with in role play.

Sissy sluts revel in the opportunity to let all their suppressed “feminine” attributes to come out.  Cross dressing is a big part of this one.   “He” becomes “she” and our sissy glories in being a degraded and used sex object in frilly knickers, fishnet stockings and smeared red lipstick.  She can be re-named something like “Fee Fee” or “Trixie Belle” and taught to parade around seductively in high heels and a wig.

Being feminine is equated with being a submissive, objectified, sexually used, slutty, whore being made to get in various humiliating positions and perform sexual services for their Mistress’ entertainment.  In this version of the game our sissy slut’s cock becomes a “clitty” and her asshole becomes her “pussy”.

This can sometimes include a third person (either male or trans) to train the Sissy in real-life forced-bi scenarios.  The sissy may not actually be attracted to men at all but is turned on by being forced to perform the slutty acts in order to please Mistress.  Oral sex, deep throating, being anally penetrated.  In this instance the Mistress’ pegging may be preparation… A training tool so that the sissy can take cock.

Works well with: Role Play, cross dressing, sissy slut training program, forced bi scenarios, golden showers, squirting dildos, begging, gang bangs, glory holes, forced masturbation, edging and so much more.

sweet strap onSweet Gender Bender:

Key Themes: Desired, Femininity, Innocence, Sensuality, Playful Connection, Receptive, Sexual Awakening

Like the sissy slut, this scenario is about a man taking on a feminine archetype  through cross dressing and play acting traditional feminine roles.  However this is not a sexually degrading version of femininity but an innocent version.  Cross dressing in this instance reflects this girlish innocence in whites and pinks, ribbons and frills.

Sweet Gender Bender types often respond well to a “girls night in” role play where they hang out with their strap-on wearing girlfriend.   They play around together getting dressed up, doing each other’s hair and make up, drinking champagne, dancing to music and talking about boys.  It turns into a lesbian encounter where the innocent crossdressing girl is seduced by her girlfriend.

Again our gender bender’s penis becomes her “clitty” and her asshole becomes her “pussy”.  She enjoys the process of being spoken to in all the feminine terms; “Put your sweet little hands on my cock and give it a massage…” and “Let me see your cute little panties, do they match your bra?”  “You look so pretty tonight, that lipstick suits you…”  There is a lot of flouncing in this sort of pegging scene.  Penetration is usually on her back with her legs spread.

Works well with Role Play:  Kissing, Cross dressing, Sexy Dancing, Exhibitionism,  Erotic Teasing, Sensuality, Fashion Parade and Photoshoot

There are of course more styles than this.  We are complex creatures so you may or may not fit neatly into any of these categories.  However, this is an excellent starting point to work out what style of pegging is for you.

Artemisia de Vine

Extended Anal Training Program:
While a single play session is of course possible and pleasurable, for anal enthusiasts and those keen to explore deeper, I am offering an Extended Anal Training Package.

Anal sphincters become more flexible with training just like doing yoga makes our bodies more flexible.  It really helps to have an experienced anal expert guide you through an anal training program to discover all the nuances possible.  G spots aren’t always the obvious turn on of the cock or clitoris.  Male G spot can be  illusive, just like the female G spot.    It takes time, practice and patience to discover  just what kinds of  pleasure are possible through anal play but as many anal enthusiastc can attest, once you have accessed this kind of pleasure  it can be full body bliss.

I approach anal training as far more than just phsyically training your hole.  It is a mind, body and sometimes heart and soul journey of self discovery.  It is very much about the places we go inside ourselves during play as well as the physcial acts themselves. You can learn to use erotic embodiment practices to drop deeper into your bodies.  This enhances subspace and/or erotic states of consciousness taking play to the next level.  For those keen to see just what is possible I offer the opportunity to be guided down the anal rabbit hole.

Each package takes into account what style of anal player you are… For those into sensual anal play, the program will have a sensual focus.   For slaves types, you will be put through a vigorous anal training process under Mistress’s eagle eye and strict regime.  It is a journey into submission as much as discovering the joys of your ass.  For sissy sluts, there is a slut training regime… You get the picture…

Each Package includes:

  • Four x 2hr in-person play and training sessions
  • Journal keeping
  • Homework tasks that include training, play and education
  • Reporting back at set times
  • Integration processes

Read more about this program, the author, Sydney-based Mistress Artemisia de Vine, and other kink style sessions available here.   Contact her here.

Please note that this blog entry and all other writing on my website is copyright and cannot be reproduced without my express written permission.

 

 

Mar 052014
 

Artemisia de Vine conscious kink logoDe Vine by name and divine by nature.  I believe each form of life has the spark of divinity within them and I am no exception.  Neither are you.  I identify as a Goddess of conscious kink.  I have a Goddess persona.

In this persona I am deliberately playing with gendered archetypes.  The truth is anyone of any sex or gender can tap into these archetypes and have a powerful experience.  We all contain within us the full spectrum of possibilities.  My intention here is to draw out these aspects of myself and embody them so that you can have a chance to explore your relationship to them.  I become the mirror you can consciously interact with.

Like the Goddesses of myth, I have many forms and tap into many universal archetypes… Mother, Destroyer, Nurturer, Devourer, Queen, Siren, Seductress, Leader, Warrior, Demoness, Maiden… the moods of the sea… Your greatest ecstasy and your worst nightmare.   The holy grail.

A Goddess knows she does not have to be hard to be powerful and takes her pleasure as she pleases. She doesn’t fit neatly into categories like dominant and submissive… straight or gay… dark or light… vanilla or kink… She has a greedy appreciation of the lot.  She accesses the full spectrum of archetypes consciously and can use any colour on the personality palette to weave her play scene or ritual.

 websitebackground0.gifA Goddess of Conscious Kink is Sex, Death and Rebirth in all its cycles.

How do you feel when you think of these archetypes?  Are you humbled and want to worship her in reverence and awe?  Do you feel helpless like a small boat on the angry sea?  Do you feel the urge to control her?  Punish her?  Beg for her attentions or mercy?  What if we could consciously create a space where we could explore all of those aspects in erotic role play?  What if we could be truly honest about the complex relationship we have to these archetypes and explore the different forms they take through kink play… power play… sadomasochism… sensuality?

In my Goddess persona, I create spaces for people who want to encompass, express and experience the full spectrum or a specific aspect with awareness.

 

Artemisia de Vine antique queen final kinklogoHow is a Kinky Goddess Session Different to a Typical Dominatrix Session? 

The main difference is the intention behind the session.  We intend to consciously explore archetypes of gender,  power and desire in a slightly different way than traditional Mistress sessions.

There is nothing at all wrong with traditional Mistress sessions and I offer those too.  If that is more to  your taste then see here…

Goddess sessions tend to be more ceremonial in nature and allow for more conscious exploration of the esoteric aspects of kink, BDSM and beyond.  It  works really well with tantric techniques, ritual, Goddess worship, pain, ordeal,  initiation, role play, psychodrama, sensory deprivation, physical restriction, service ceremonies and conscious erotic shadow exploration.  I am adept at designing and creating Conscious Kink rituals to really explore the potential of our erotic shadow.

While any variety of traditional BDSM activities can be included in these sessions, they are approached with a different flavor… more mindful… more focus on states of consciousness… a clear intention for the session…connecting to  and exploring our whole selves during play, including mind, body, spirit.

Each session is negotiated  and designed individually depending on the intent and purpose.

Read more about Conscious Kink here… 

 

diamond pussy CK logo2Can you give me examples of some sessions?

A great example is the Goddess Worship Ceremony.   This session suits those that are aroused by and/or drawn to being in worshipful service. It is an opportunity to mindfully enter into a state of being that allows you to feel the honor of worship with a meditative attention to detail and an embodied awareness of every exquisite and/or excruciating moment.  For the length of the session I become your entire world.  Everything else falls away.  There is nothing but your complete service to me.

We begin with you naked before me and I guide you into a mindful state of being through breath, ceremony and deliberate symbolic acts.  I have you reverently bathe my feet with warm scented water… teaching you exactly how to touch to give, not to take… teaching you how I wish to be served… As you enter deeper and deeper into the state of worship, recognising and honoring the divine spark in me… surrendering and letting go… opening deeper and deeper… you are gradually allowed to earn the right to bathe more and more of my body…

Once you have entered the right state and I am happy with your touch, you are instructed how to use your mouth in worship… until you are in full service to every nook and cranny I desire… for as long as I desire…

For some people this remains a sensual worship… some are honored with the privilege of drinking the Goddess’s golden nectar…  For others it becomes an ordeal where they feel used…  perhaps restrained… having their face sat on while the Goddess is indifferent to their efforts to please her… Perhaps in your fantasies The Goddess is cruel, forcing you to worship with no concern for your comfort or desire… or perhaps she is motherly and nurturing… or seductively dangerous and in control… Perhaps a regal queen…  All this is negotiated.  We deliberately access the aspects we both agree to explore.

TraySadomasochist Goddess Ceremony Perhaps you are more of a masochist and desire to feel helpless while offering up your pain as an act of worship to the Goddess?  CBT? Bondage? Caning? Flogging? Nipple torture?  If so you will also be guided into an mindful state where you use each breath to offer up your pain in sacrifice.  You have the opportunity to dedicate your session to a specific intention should you choose.  Again the session here is focused very much on accessing certain states of embodied consciousness.   

FurnitureSwitch Power Play and Role Play Ceremony Perhaps you are more suited to a scenario where you explore your relationship to the Goddess through role play and power play… Perhaps you are in control or perhaps I am…  Maybe we switch… What attitude towards the Goddess are you drawn to explore?  Are there aspects of humiliation and degradation?  Of forcing desired acts?  Do you want to explore age play?   Or other themes of power and desire?

Again this is clearly negotiated and entered into with awareness.  We have a clear beginning and end and bring it all back full circle to mutual respect at the end.  It is a chance to let ourselves fully enter into a particular role and experience “what is” for the agreed span of time.  This can be very powerful not to mention seriously hot! 

Mistress high heelsAre you the Goddess? Perhaps you want to explore drawing on the Goddess archetypes within you?  In this session you would be guided into a deep experience of drawing out the chosen archetype within you by using some simple but very powerful, guided, mindful, embodiment exercises.  Once you are deeply in your persona we can explore erotic and/or power play together in that state.  Perhaps through being the slut, the object of objectification, degradation, desire or just feeling the joy of sensual satins on your skin by wearing clothes traditionally seen as feminine… What would it be like for you to be worshipped or reviled as Goddess?  So many possibilities!

These are just a few examples of how a Goddess session could look.  Each session is designed around the unique wiring of both of us.  We find where we overlap and agree on an intention and work out a scenario from there.

 

Do I have to be religious or new age to benefit these sessions? 

Absolutely not!  I do not impose my beliefs on you.  You do however need to be drawn to a session where the spark of life within each or us is seen as something worth honoring.  From there we can design a session around your particular worldview and intentions taking into account your personal boundaries and beliefs.  However these sessions do tend to appeal to those who are into yoga, meditation and appreciate the mind, body, spirit connection.  They suit those who enjoy the journey of deep self discovery and connection.

 

dominatrix cropped textWhat about chakras and energy work?

Yes I believe in these things and am experienced in using them in a kinky context.  We can include this side of things if you choose to but this is done with your consent, not inflicted on you.  I find the more aspects of us we include in our kink play, the more profound the experience.  However I cannot predict how you will experience this as it is different from person to person and session to session.  I can guide you into this aspect of kink play… or not… depending on your inclinations and our agreed on intention.

I draw on aspects of tantra, taoism, sexual shamanic traditions, meditation, various erotic body-mind techniques.  Mostly it is about deepening the states of consciousness possible and engaging all of us with awareness and intention.

 

Do these sessions include PIV (penis/dildo in vagina) sex? 

Usually not but occasionally it feels right for a session to include this.  I am not at all against this kind of sex!  It is however my experience that when PIV becomes involved it often becomes the main focus and the richness of the kink is missed.   It is my experience that in most scenarios, the places we travel to together become so much deeper when PIV is taken off the table.  Furthermore, sometimes sex is simply completely irrelevant to the head space we are aiming to achieve.

Having said this, occasionally it does feel exactly the right thing to do for a particular scenario.  I am happy to include PIV sex when I feel that it would honestly enhance the experience and not detract from it.   And, quite frankly, if I feel like it.  A Goddess tends not to do anything she doesn’t want to whether or not she is playing the submissive or dominant role.   I do charge extra for sexual sessions.

 

venus 3Sounds great!  How do I arrange a session?

We need to have a chat on the phone to work out the best way we can play together.  I will guide you through working out the best kind of scenario for you. This really needs to be done by phone because we need to get a feel for each other.   You can shoot me an initial email at artemisia@consciouskink.com to sound out the basics of the kind of session you are after but we will need to speak in person to negotiate.

Call me between 10:30am-8pm Mon-Friday on 0420 415 658.

You can check out location, prices and practical details here…

If you enjoyed this blog and would like to find out about future workshops, blogs and events as well as tours to your area, sign up to my mailing list.

 

 

Feb 232014
 

If you have not already read part 1, I suggest you start there.  See part 1 here… 

Mistress high heelsI turned and began walking through the shopping centre, each high-heeled step a deliberate movement of seduction.  He fumbled with the phallic vegetable and bottle of lube I had insisted he purchase.  I could hear his nervous breath as he attempted to hide the objects in his hands while we walked through the busy centre.

He followed me, uncertain of what I planned to do after the earlier humiliation foreplay in the fruit and vegetable section of the supermarket.

I took my time, stopping to look at the various window displays, taking note of my victim’s flushed cheeks in the reflection of the glass.  I enjoyed toying with him.  No doubt his mind was busily trying to work out what I was going to make him do with that impossibly big phallic vegetable.

His skin was bright with embarrassment.  The more he visualised just what I was going to make him do next, the more he felt as though every passing shopper also knew exactly what was about to happen to him.  Exposed… embarrassed… aroused…  desperately wanting to get away from the laser beams of their eyes yet feeling completely turned on by it.

I bent over in my tight, shapely skirt and adjusted my shoe slightly.  I watched with amusement as I saw him shift his jeans uncomfortably… blood flowing unbidden to his crotch making his pants grow tight and stiff.

“No where to hide little mouse… “ I purred.

Next I asked him to purchase me a large drink while he was still holding on the embarrassing objects and struggling with the fact he was semi erect.  Not  hard enough for anyone else to notice, but hard enough to make him very self-conscious.

He ordered the drink, avoiding making eye contact with the cashier, no doubt imagining she knew exactly what was happening in his dirty little mind. She didn’t of course, but that didn’t stop his face from turning several shades more crimson.

I seductively licked my lips and began sucking through my straw, leaving lashings of red lipstick kisses all over it.  I just watched him through heavy lids as I slurped and sucked every last drop down.  Eye contact can speak volumes.  He squirmed…

When I was done I had him dispose of the cup and I walked slowly and deliberately towards the stairs to the second floor where the cinemas reside.  We walked together in tense, excited silence.  Every sense alert, pulsing and alive.

I could feel his relief as we entered the darkened foyer of the cinemas.  It was easier to not be noticed here.  Not so much light and the thick, red carpet muffled the clickety clack of my ridiculously high heels.

unisex-toiletI sauntered over to the unisex toilet and waited until there was no one around.

“Quickly now, in we go!” I said eyeing the bathroom door.

He hesitated but my face expression told him I would tolerate no disobedience so he slipped inside.  It was a large cubicle.  Big enough for what I had planned…

“Hand me the vegetable,” I said calmly.  He passed it to me.  It was a bright green vegetable I didn’t know the name of.  It was covered in wart-like bumps and was as long as my forearm… and certainly a lot thicker…

“Mistress, I… I don’t know if I…”  he began stammering.

I just looked amused and raised one eyebrow.  “You don’t know if you can what, slave?”

He eyed the vegetable and gulped.

Without breaking eye contact, I opened the bottle of lube and deliberately poured it all over the vegetable like chocolate sauce on an ice cream sunday.    Clear, slippery gel wound its tendrils down the vegetable in thick ribbons.

“But… I’m sorry Mistress, but I really don’t think I can take that!” he stammered.

“Is that so, slave?” I purred, again amused.

I reached over and grabbed a handful of hair at the scruff of his neck yanking his head back, opening his mouth and pulling him off-balance.

“I suspect you will do as your told don’t you?”  I whispered so close to his ear that my breath tickled his lobe.

“Besides, I told you there would be… consequences... if you chose a smaller vegetable than I did, didn’t I, slave?”.

His eyes widened but he didn’t answer.

“I can’t hear you” I purred… “Didn’t I warn you slave?”

“Y…Yes Mistress” he stammered.

marsian phallus 2I thrust the tip of the marsian looking phallus in his mouth and watched him strain to take it in… lube spilling down his chin.  He mumbled and moaned but it was muffled by the vegetable unceremoniously stuffed in his orifice.

“Now that I have your full attention, slave, I am going to give you some instructions.  I want to you to listen very carefully and obey to the letter, do you understand?”  He nodded, eyes wide and mouth still full.  I thrust the vegetable in a little further and watched impassively as he struggled to take it.

“In a moment I am going to let you go.  When I do I want you to unzip your jeans and pull them down to your ankles.  I then want you bend over the toilet, resting your hands on the flush tank and present your bottom to me.  You need to be very quiet so we are not overheard. There could be people right outside the door.  Do you understand?

“Yes mistress” he mumbled through the vegetable gag.

I released the scruff of his neck and removed the marsian phallus vegetable from his mouth.  He immediately unzipped his jeans and pulled them down, exposing his very hard cock standing in full salute to me.

I smiled to myself.  Here was a complete stranger I had never met before doing my every bidding.  I took a moment to savor that thrill.  He had contacted me through my professional dominatrix website and we had negotiated a session.  Even though I am a professional with an excellent reputation, it still takes guts to trust and obey someone you do not know.  There is an art to seducing submission out of someone and I love every second of it.

He turned around and assumed the position as instructed.  He no doubt heard the snap of my latex gloves.

“I like being fully dressed when you are all vulnerable and exposed slave”  I whispered throatily.   “Being bent over and humiliated suits you…”

I slapped his perky arse cheek and slithered a lubed finger down his crack, making him jump.

inside toilet cubicle“Shshshsh my wicked boy, we both know you are going to do as you are told and open up for me”.  I reassured him in a lullaby voice of honey seduction. “We both know you like to be fucked and I am going to invade your most secret places”.

I pushed a finger into his arse.  He gasped with the shock of it but soon relaxed into a moan of pleasure.

His hole was tight and we both knew he would never be able to take the vegetable phallus but I was enjoying playing with his head.  With my other hand, I rolled the vegetable between his butt cheeks and down through his thighs to tickle his balls.  I began gently thrusting my finger in and out, massaging his prostate with every stroke.

We could hear the muffled sound of people in the cinema foyer, going about their business.

He began moaning quietly and rocking back and forth, obviously enjoying being penetrated.

“I think you like it don’t you slave?  Tell me how much you like being fucked up the arse slave?  I want to hear you beg for more.”

“Yes Mistress!  I love being your slave.  I’ll do anything you say.  Please fuck me Mistress”.

“You’re a little slut aren’t you slave? Tell me how much of a horny slut you are.”

“I’m your horny little slut, Mistress. I’m your little slut.  Please fuck me Mistress!”.

At this point he was so aroused he would have done anything at all and I knew it.  I thrust a few more times and then stopped abruptly, leaving him empty and desperate for more.

“Now slave, I am going to give you a choice.  You can either take this delightfully large marsian phallus all the way up your arse or you can open your mouth and let me use it as a toilet.  I did drink an awful lot you see…  I want you to drink every last drop of my golden nectar and thank me for it.  Which will it be?”

He hesitated.  I drummed my fingers impatiently.  “Hmmm?”

We both knew that he was revolted by the idea of drinking my piss but that the phallus was impossible for his tight, untrained arse to take.  It wasn’t really a choice.  He would have to become my living toilet.

I held the marsian phallus up for him to assess.  “Which is it to be?”

“I.. I will take the golden shower, Mistress” he stammered.

“Good boy”.  I smiled.  Now lie down on the ground and open your mouth.  I want to hear you say that you are my toilet.

He lay down obediently and half opened his mouth nervously.  He didn’t say anything.  I could feel how humiliating it was for him to say those words out loud.  His cock was harder than ever but still he struggled.

“I want to hear you say it slave” I repeated impatiently.

“I, I am your toilet Mistress.  I am yours to piss on.  You may piss in my mouth and I will drink every last drop.  I am yours to do with as you please”.

“Yes, yes your are.” I purred.

Pouring oil or golden liquid.I slowly hitched my skirt up to reveal my black satin g-string.  I slipped my fingers under the elastic and flicked it against my skin.  I stepped across him so one of my high-heeled shoes was on either side of his head, giving him an exquisite view up my skirt.

I slowly slipped my panties off, sliding them down my plump, stocking-clad legs.  I slipped them down all the way to my ankles so they stretch taut across his nose and mouth filling his nostrils with the scent of my pussy, hesitated a moment, then flicked them off altogether.

“Open your mouth little slave.  Open wider than that.  For if you do not drink every drop, my golden shower will spill all over your shirt and you do not have a change of clothes”.

I let that sink in.

Then I stretched luxuriously and bent down into a squat, positioning my pussy only inches from his face.  So close, yet so far away…

He opened very wide, not wanting to spill a drop.

At first it was just a trickle… a little splish, splash… I controlled the stream in short bursts letting it gush into his open mouth and roll over his tongue.  I heard him struggle not to spit it out… struggle to keep his mouth open…

His cock was so hard I could have used it as a crow bar.  He may be revolted, degraded and humiliated but he was enjoying this as much as I was.

“Taste it slave.  I want you to taste my golden vintage like a wine.  Savor it. Swish it around your mouth, there’s a good little toilet”.

I squirted another warm gush into his open mouth and watched him struggle to obey.  It was a little too much for him however as some spilled out the corners of his mouth and dribbled down his chin and the front of his chest.

I held the phallus up for him to see clearly.  “Drink it ALL up or you will have to take this after all” I threatened with an amused voice. “It will be very entertaining for me”.

He doubled his efforts to comply with my wishes and I began to gush in earnest making it very difficult for him to swallow in time without my piss going all over him.

Just at that point there was a sudden banging on the door.  A male voice, obviously an employee of the cinema, said, “Excuse me but you need to come out of there.  You were both seen entering the toilet and you’ve been in there far too long.  You need to come out immediately!”

puddle“Just a moment please” I said sweetly while continuing to piss all over my slave.  The surprise knock had made me jump, spraying my golden shower all down the front of my slave’s shirt.  He was soaked.  I may as well finish the job I thought sadistically.  I sprayed one final gush all over his face and clothes.

My slave was in a panic.  He had been getting off on the idea of maybe getting caught but to actually be caught!  Well that was the ultimate humiliation!

I calmly stuffed my panties in my handbag and disposed of the vegetable and lube bottle in the bin.

I then folded my arms amused as my slave tried desperately to clean himself up. He wiped his face with toilet paper as best he could but there really wasn’t anything for it but to come out covered in my golden nectar.  He looked terrified!

There was more banging on the door from the manager.  “I really must insist that you come out of there immediately” he said in a commanding loud voice.  This of course attracted attention of passers-by.  When we did open the door there was a small crowd to greet us, all staring at us.

I stepped out perfectly neat and tidy in my tight skirt and seductive heels… a small wicked smile on my face…

My slave followed out awkwardly behind me covered in piss and unable to do a thing about it.  I walked slowly and deliberately across the hall with all eyes burning into us.  I can’t imagine what they were speculating.  Could they smell the urine or did they think it was water on his shirt?

car parkI know my slave had never squirmed so much in painful, arousing embarrassment in his life!  He was both horrified and secretly loving it.  I did not hurry a single step.

Down the esculator and back in to the main shopping centre, we walked the slow parade of shame.  Soaked in my scent he was forced to walk at a sedate pace through the flouro lit halls.  The walk seemed to last forever.   A smile curled my lips every step of the way… enjoying every awkward moment of humiliation… every excrutiating moment of exquisite torture.

After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the car park.

I turned, noticed his straining erection had returned… and simply winked at him… then walked off to my car without another word.

I just left him standing there in the delicious torment of degradation and arousal.  I left him burning with need for release.  Ah, a Mistress can be so cruel.

******

He wrote to me later to tell me that was one of the most extraordinary, unusual and arousing experiences he had ever had.  He has a thoroughly wicked and hot story to climax to over and over for years to come.

******

This story is based on a real session in my early days as a professional dominatrix and humiliatrix.  All sessions are negotiated and consented to and my slave had a safe word he could have used to stop any activities at any time.  I had no intention of actually getting caught and involving innocent by-standers but it just happened that way.

I have written a blog here about how humiliation can actually be a deeply loving and conscious way to approach kink.  Check it out here…

For those interested in sessions with me, I am currently based in Sydney, Australia.  See my website for further details.

This story is copyright and may not be reproduced in any way without express, written permission from me, Artemisia de Vine.

Dec 162013
 

 

Temptation logoPleased to announce my upcoming workshops at the Celebrating Sexuality Conference  just outside Melbourne in Feb 14-16.

It is a two-hour introduction to my more in-depth 2 day workshop on this topic.   If you are interested in attending the more extensive version of this or other workshops, be sure to join my mailing list to find out when they are being held.

Artemisia de Vine Goddess of Conscious Kink & the Erotic Arts presents: Embracing our Erotic Shadows through Fantasy & Role Play.

Professional dominatrix, switch & practitioner of the conscious erotic arts, Artemisia brings her expertise and passion for entering into the deeper realms of kink play to life in this workshop.

In this workshop, Artemisia introduces the idea of consciously using role play to engage our vulnerable, hidden, erotic shadows and “forbidden” sexuality in a way that benefits ourselves and our loved ones and allows us to form a deeper, more aware relationship with our shadow selves. She guides you through fun but potent exercises and provides practical tools for creating role play scenes and rituals. There is no nudity and you do not have to share your personal erotic fantasies. Engage in the practical exercises only to whatever level you choose to.

Fantasies often get a bad rap amongst tantra circles as something that takes us away from being fully present and embodied with ourselves and our lovers. Sexual fantasies are toted as acceptable in popular culture but very rarely is their potential to access healing, personal growth and spirituality ever talked about or explored. Often our sexual fantasies are different to our lovers and it can be quite scary to share them. We quite often don’t want to admit we have them ourselves because the nature of fantasy is that of strange dream-like desires, images and urges that drift up from our unconscious mind only when we are aroused. In fantasy we act in ways towards ourselves and each other in way we may not really want to in everyday life. This can be confusing and a source of shame. Artemisia presents an accessible but powerful ways of embracing our shadow selves through fantasy, erotic role play rituals.

Artemisia is a professional and lifestyle kinkster, sex worker, somatic sex coach, workshop facilitator, public speaker, blogger and aspiring author. Trained in sexological bodywork, various forms of neo-tantra, lomi lomi bodywork, BDSM and draws on various esoteric erotic traditions. Her whole life is dedicated to passionately exploring and sharing the erotic arts in aware and delicious ways.

Should you enjoy this introductory workshop and want to explore deeper, Artemisia offers more in-depth one-on-one sessions and lessons and a far more in-depth 2 day workshop on this topic.  Join her mailing list to hear about upcoming opportunities and browse her Conscious Kink website for current offerings.

Nov 182013
 

Mistress A

Had a fantastic talk after an intense humiliation session. The only part of us that gets upset when we are humiliated is the ego. By surrendering to humiliation we can sometimes also surrender the ego and find a beautiful sub space.  Sent that client home wearing a nappy… ;)

A brave erotic adventurer of a young man asked me to role play an unrequited love scene.  Fascinating and potent stuff!  He had such a great attitude and I loved playing with him.

My cross dressing, exhibitionist ,sissy slut is an absolute darling who delights in buying really hot, good quality sexy things for herself.  She also brought me roses cut from the garden she tends herself.

What will tomorrow bring?  Bring it on Canberra!

(Only in Canberra until Nov 21st…. but will be back so join my mailing list if you want to know when I tour here again).

Nov 092013
 

Temptation logoAs a professional Dominatrix, ocassional switch and educator in the world of conscious kink, I am often asked how I can possibly thoroughly enjoy play sessions that intentionally humiliate or embarrass my play partner.  How can I be invested in a loving, self-aware path that focuses on mindfulness and embodied meditation and also be into objectifying, degrading, controlling and belittling another human being?

Warning!  This blog discusses explicit adult themes of a fetish, BDSM and kink nature.   

It’s true that I am both a person who strives for integrity and cares deeply for the well-being of my play partners while at the same time I find it incredibly hot to make them perform erotically humiliating acts.  It’s one of my specialties and personal core erotic themes.  I am a humiliatrix.  I even like to some times, with the right partner, switch roles.  Embarrassment, power and eroticism frequently go hand in hand.

Being conscious about kink certainly doesn’t mean “light  and fluffy” BDSM only.  Delving into the feeling of danger and mystery can often be what ignites our erotic play… taking risks… peeking into the dark crevices of our souls…  exploring power or intensity can be what gives a session its bite and heat… carving a delicious memory into our flesh that lasts a life time.    

It could be as simple as having to bare your bottom and bend over for a thorough spanking… being anally taken by a strap on… forced to worship my feet… verbal put downs from mild  to intense…. being made to kneel… spat on… called names… small cock humiliation… put in degrading positions… being made to eat out of a dog bowl…  forced to drink golden showers…  being treated like a sissy slut…  being tied up, teased and laughed at about how turned on you are and how you are never going to be allowed to actually touch the body in front of you… and far more intense, explicit things I won’t go into here. 

shadow04Erotic Shadows

Conscious kink is not about sanitising that… It is about engaging with it in a consensual and aware way that aims to have a positive effect on all involved and allows us to travel deeper into each moment.  It is about learning and harnessing skills to ride the wave rather than be rolled by it… and to enter states of being and, well, consciousness one cannot get to otherwise.  Consciously approaching kink play takes bravery to be self-aware, take self-responsibility and be the hero on your own erotic quest of self discovery.  Far from detracting from the experience, being conscious in BDSM play only makes it more potent.

Each of us have core erotic themes that run through our fantasies and erotic dream-scape.  Core erotic themes vary greatly from person to person and are very often made up of the parts of us that we have suppressed as part of our personal and cultural upbringing.   As we develop and adopt the socially acceptable ways of being and behaving in any given family or culture, some natural parts of us are deemed inappropriate.   Showing anger might be one… taking up too much body space might be another… openly expressing our sexuality might be another…  According to Carl Jung, all of these aspects of our personality are suppressed into our unconscious where we are no longer aware of it on  a day-to-day basis.   The qualities that are suppressed are called our shadow and contains both negative and positive aspects of us.   Our shadow becomes the part of us we can’t see yet has a huge impact on the way we feel, act and react all the time.

Creating shadows is a natural part of learning to belong to any culture but creating shadows also creates shame.  It’s pretty simple.   Suppressing certain aspects of us also creates shame about those aspects.   Our shadow self is made up of all these suppressed aspects.  We access our unconscious, where our shadow lives, through the images and feelings in day and night dreams, imagination and yes, our sexual fantasies.     

Core erotic themes vary greatly from person to person but we all have them  if we dig deep enough we find common flavors running through our sexual fantasies and none of them are politically correct.  Some people, have core erotic themes that are about longing, being desired, having power, being powerless and some of us have core erotic themes that are formed from the clay of humiliation, embarrassment and shame.   Even those that have non humiliation core erotic themes, may have a smattering of humiliation woven through their fantasies anyway.  It is not universal but is very common.   

portal spaceSexual Fantasy as Portal to the Unconscious

Our sexual fantasies are gateways to these suppressed aspects of ourselves because being aroused or in sub space or both, takes us into a different state of consciousness.  When in these head-spaces we think, feel and experience things differently.  In these states of consciousness the veil between unconscious self and conscious self is thinner.  The unconscious bleeds through and we start to think in the langauge of the unconscious… in dream language… in fantasy language… So we have sexual fantasy and shame hand in hand here…  We also have an opportunity  for  inner alchemy here.  To turn the base metals into gold…  All the ingredients are there.   We have an opportunity for the conscious and unconscious to co-operate and align if we choose to embrace our shadow in our erotically fuelled  and/or subspace altered state of consciousness.   

knickersSissy Sluts as an Example of Erotic Shadow 

Cis men into cross dressing are into it for a huge variety of reasons and not all of them have a core erotic theme based in humiliation.  Like-wise, not every one who has humiliation as a core erotic theme is into cross dressing.   I am just using cross dressing as a possible expression of someone who has humiliation as a core erotic theme in the example below.

A person born in a male body is socialised to “act like a man” and “man up” from the moment he is first put in his pale blue onesy as a baby.   Depending on the particular culture, subculture and family beliefs, the idea of how to ‘act like a man” will have various expressions.  Some common themes are not being allowed to wear pink, satin, frills, flowers, make up, or anything associated with being a “girl”.   Crying, showing emotion, forming intimate connections with mates where feelings are openly shared… skipping… moving the pelvis in a “feminine” way etc…  Along for the ride with this mentality is the idea that men are the “doers” in sex and women are the “done to”.   Sex inherently taints women but not men.  Being receptive is female…  Being penetrated is not a “manly” thing to do. 

These attributes and acts literally have to be trained  out of our boys to turn them into “men”.   That means the attributes were there to start with buthad to be suppressed. Many aspects of  masculinity have to be performed and reinforced and are often reinforced quite brutally.  I’m not saying there aren’t natural differences between people born with penises and those born with pussies, but I am saying there are clearly also some pretty strong socialisation processes.  Boys frequently bully each other the second they show any sign of being “girly”.  Being like a girl is the worst crime and is considered weak, submissive and pathetic.  It may even earn you a beating and being socially ostracized.   There is deep shame in showing any attributes considered feminine.  Having a “big cock” is the ultimate symbol of being a sexually virile manly man and is associated with dominance.

barbieAs a dominatrix, I see a lot of men who are incredibly turned on by being forced to wear girly, frilly panties.  They feel really turned on by being forced to do all those things normally considered “sissy” but have no idea why.  It is such a common pattern there is a common name for it.  It’s called a “sissy slut” session.  The sissy sluts who also have humiliation as part of their turn on want to feel all the girly things forbidden to them and be humiliated for it.   They want to feel sexually desired and objectified the way women often are.  They love the feel of the silky under things against their skin but for the humiliation themed sissies, it isn’t truly hot until they are mocked and degraded for it.   They want to not only be smeared in lipstick and made to take on the body language of girls but they want to be degraded and called a slut for it… forced to suck my strap on and then be used anally.   Some find having their cock mocked as small and useless is a real turn on.   Basically, living out their worst fears and transforming them into something pleasurable through eroticising them.

This is just a small sample of many possible forms humiliation sessions might take.  Anyone of any gender can enjoy humiliation play on either the giving or the recieving end.  Another example could be treated like an animal, caged  and collared… because likewise the aspects of us that are considered uncultured, raw and sexual are often correlated with “acting like an animal”.  

Another person may enjoy eroticising the feeling of being seen and used as just a sex object.   Some may secretly fantasise about being a trussed up like a naked, hog-tied, turkey in the middle of the boardroom table while surrounded with corporate types in suits observing and analyzing them.   Others enjoy the thought of  being de-humanised altogether and treated like a resource.  A thing.  Or actively scolded and dressed down.

It’s not always overtly erotic either.  It can be more about subspace and the state of consciousness people go when the mind is tricked into a state of open surrender.  Sub space = submission space and often ressembles the place meditators aim to access.  A surrender of the ego to let some other part of us take the driver’s seat.  

Humiliation is complex.  I won’t go into all the possible nuances here.  Some of us have it as a deeply rooted core erotic theme that will remain with us for the rest of their lives.  Others of us have other core erotic themes but have aspects of feeling shame and embarrassment threading through our secret masturbation fantasies like a spice that adds the kick.  It’s not surprising really given the mixed messages we are given about our sexuality from the get go.  It’s a source of wonder and great shame.  The sex Goddess is also the “slut” and the “whore”.  

thespianDoesn’t acting it out reinforce it?  How can that be conscious and healthy?

So what do we do with this?   I have met may a tantrika or well-meaning person who thinks we need to heal this aspect of ourselves.  While I agree that working through sexual shame is one of the great works of our era, I do not agree that  our sexual fantasies and consensual role plays should be “healed”.  That is, the aim of conscious kink as I see it, is not to make those uncomfortable fantasies go away.   To avoid embracing our politically incorrect turn ons would be to suppress those aspects of ourselves even further… creating an even stronger struggle between our conscious minds and our shadow selves.   Instead, I propose we embrace our shadow in a conscious, lusty, full power way with a cherry on top!

By creating safe spaces to bring out and explore our shadow selves in a play scene we are creating a container with a neat beginning, middle and end that allows us to let the usually suppressed parts of ourselves take the driver’s seat.  It is a ritual if you like, where we can create temporary, different rules and ways of being that we consent to with awareness.  Our subconscious doesn’t speak the same langauge or play by the same rules as our conscious minds.  In a play scene we are letting the language of the subconscious take over, or at least bleed through.   By acting these shadow aspects of ourselves out, we  create an opportunity to bring the paradoxical elements of ourselves into alignment.  The paradox never goes away but we learn to ride it and find the treasure at the heart of it.  It is right there in the point where darkness and light meet that the magic lies.  

The point is not to turn darkness into light.  Oh no!  Too much sweetness and light leads to spiritual diabetes.  The point is to ride the paradox and engage with it consciously.  

By bringing unconscious and conscious into alignment something powerful happens.  Our shadow is no longer, well unconsciously controlling our feelings, reactions, beliefs, relationships.   Instead, the conscious and unconscious are co operating and co creating.  The shadow becomes our ally rather than our feared monster under the bed and we have a sense of inner alignment.

This moment of paradox in alignment sometimes just happens accidentally without us ever consciously examining any of the whys and hows.   The play is enough on its own to create this effect.   If you are erotically drawn to something and you have the opportunity to live it out in a safe way with consenting adults, then go for it.  Follow those erotic cookie crumbs!  They are leading you to a deeper relationship with your shadow self.   However just doing it randomly is a bit hit and miss.  

If we enter into humiliation play with awareness and conscious intention, we have the potential to nudge the result into an even more effective and powerful place more often.  While there are never any guarentees, the result is far more likely to be empowering rather than reinforcing the status quo.  There is the world of difference between a client who comes to me like our play is a dirty secret, feels ashamed that he has this need, responds unconsciously by being shifty and sleazy and then turning on me afterwards, to a client who comes to me willing to be the hero on his own inner alchemy quest by exploring his Kink proclivities with awareness and taking self-responsibility.   The outcome of the two sessions are vastly different.

In the case of the sissy sluts, conscious kink creates a place to play with gender.   We don’t try to make it politically correct because that would actually kill the power of acting out our shadow selves.  Remember the unconscious is not politically correct and we need to allow space to give it voice.   By acting out our sissy slut, we come into a greater awareness and relationship with the suppressed so-called “girly” or “slutty” parts of ourselves.    Instead of then becoming revolted when men act in “girly” ways without knowing why, we begin to lose that knee jerk revulsion.  We then have more choice around how we interact with gender and allow those around us to interact with their own gender identity in whatever way they choose.  Being  sissy slut doesn’t stop beign a turn on for us and as far as I am concerned it shouldn’t.   What happens is we have a more aware, healthy relationship to our inner sissy slut that ripples out into our relationship with ourself and others in all areas of life. 

erotic themesPersonal Core Erotic Themes

Each of us has different core erotic themes so not every one will be drawn to explore humiliation scenes.   Of those into humiliation, there will be a huge variety of fantasies about how that might manifest in your hottest turn ons.   Certainly not everyone will be turned on by being a made into a sissy slut.  While many men go through the process of having the “girl” beaten out of them through socialisation, only some end up with sissy slut fantasies.   No one really knows why for sure.  

Perhaps instead your fantasies are based on being caught masturbating, or having the girl you fancy use her power over you to make you jump through hoops?   Being degraded and having your mouth used as a toilet…  Or simply being made to beg to be fucked…  Maybe you like role play where you are caught rifling through your neighbor’s  knicker draw and she threatens to tell your parents if you don’t do exactly as she says…  Maybe you fantasise about being naked in a board room full of corporate types in suits?  The scenarios are endless and I have become very creative in finding ways to tease out those hots spots in an individual’s core erotic theme.  

The reason that I am drawn to humiliation play is that is one of my own core erotic themes.  I get it.  I really get it.  My goodness did it take me a long time to be able to admit it!   I’m into degrading and erotically humiliating others and under the right circumstances, I’m turned on by having the tables turned.  Oh the shame of having humiliation and degradation as a turn on.  *Cue irony*

As an aside, It is also worth noting that having core erotic themes like humiliation, does not stop us from also accessing other forms of erotic pleasure like making love, sensuality, ecstatic erotically-fuelled trance states, kundalini experiences and more.   Fantasy and kink play is only one possible expression out of many.   If you only know how to be aroused from your core erotic theme and can’t access any other forms of erotic interaction, then I suggest going to a sexologcial bodyworker or other conscious sexuality professional and learning how to access even more potential within you.  More options  = more ways of playing and connecting with self and others. 

ying-yang-yin-x-250943 So what makes Conscious Kink humiliation play sessions any different? 

There are all sorts of skills from neo-tantra, mindfulness and other somatic embodiment practices that are helpful to enhance any sort of kink play.  There are all sorts of subtle ways of  moving into deeper relationship with self from various esoteric traditions and somatic body-mind techniques.  Techniques from tantra, yoga, mindfulness and transcendental meditation practices all translate well into kink play.  However,  a really great place to start is simply with intention and awareness.

Just being aware that this play is a opportunity to own our erotic shadow selves and make them an ally already makes a big difference to how we approach any session.   Having the intention to tune into and embrace our erotic shadow changes everything.

I find discussing and stating out loud our intention in a clear sentence or two before we begin has a subtle but potent impact on a play scene.  Our unconscious responds to our intentions in ways that ripple out into our lives in ways we can’t really pre-conceive.   Having the intention, to love and respect ourselves and consciously let go for a given amount of time to fully enter into a normally suppressed way of being, accepting ourselves and each other “warts and all” makes a big difference.  Being witnessed, accepted and held in our  secret, sexy, vulnerable, shameful places is huge!

This kind of play often leads to a way of being where our shadow selves start to work with us in everyday life rather than control us in unconscious ways, bursting out like volcanos in seemingly unconnected areas of our lives.  Personally, I have been blown away with just how powerful simple tools like intention and awareness have.

barbed candleConscious Kink as a Spiritual Path 

Each person has their own spiritual or existential perspective and far be it from me to tell you what to think.  You certainly don’t  have to adopt my take on spirituality for this process to work.   However, to me, the great soul work of being human is to fully experience being human and awaken to our full selves.  Awaken all the layers…  We often wander about in a sleep walk, living our pre-programmed social scripts and wonder why we feel dissatisfied.   The antidote is to wake up!

More and more people are waking up and truly living.  One of the key ways to do this is to befriend our shadow selves and turn it into an ally.    One excellent and effective way to do this is through accessing our sexuality… where the veils between the conscious and unconscious are naturally thinner and alignment is more easily achievable.

I am of the school of thought that we are not human beings having a spiritual experience but we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  That means everything is already sacred just the way it is.  However the ultimate experience is being conscious of and fully exploring our humanity with awareness of our inner spark of divinity.  We feel the most right, the most content and at “home” when we are in alignment with all aspects of ourselves.

Sounds good, so where do we start?  

So all this sounds really exciting and you’d like to play.   Start by thinking about the common themes running through your hottest, most forbidden fantasies.  The ones you hardly dare think about unless you are so aroused you are about to cum.   There will likely be lots of different scenarios you enjoy.  Take notice of what the underlying themes are.  What common ingredient makes it hot for you again and again no matter what shape the fantasy takes?   Break that down so you can clearly communicate it and consent to it, agreeing to safewords and after-care.

hand shakeConsent, Negotiation and Safe words

Humiliation is a volatile fantasy to play with.  It has to be very carefully discussed and consented to before hand because one person’s turn on is the next person’s traumatic experience.  I can’t emphasis enough how important it is to discuss a potential humiliation scene thoroughly and work out exactly what hits the hot buttons and which ones hit the genuine ouch buttons.   It is important for all parties involved to consent to certain activities, attitudes and understand the vibe of the individual player’s core erotic theme.  

No matter how much you plan, there is always a certain amount of risk in these kinds of games.  I get my play partners to actively acknowledge that risk and take self-responsibility for it.  Having a plan for if things go awry is really useful.    We agree to a safe word that can stop our play at any time if needed.  I ask my play partners not to use the safe word willy-nilly but to take three long, slow breaths before using it.  If they still need to use, it, go for it but make sure they need to.  Life isn’t all nice kittens and pie and sometimes the most challenging parts of the play turn out, in hindsight, to be what really gave it power.

My most immediate psychological “first aid” tool for if my play partner or I becomes triggered is to focus on breathing.   When an unexpected surge of emotion rises in us, as it sometimes does when working with erotic alchemy,  I get the person to focus completely on their breath.  Counting with them and guiding them to breath very slowly and fully.. letting the air fall all the way out before taking the next breath.   Doing this for ten breaths is often enough to shift the burst of emotive energy  to be able to talk about it and feel into what needs to happen next.  If what needs to happen is beyond my scope, I have the numbers of highly respected, kink-friendly counsellors and psychotherapists handy.

It’s also important to discuss after-care.  Even if my play partner is grinning from ear to ear at the end of our session, aftercare may be needed to bring things full circle.   It is good to discuss with the person what they need to reassure them they are a respected, valuable human being.  For some people suddenly becoming all nurturing at the end of the session would burst the bubble for them but for others, it is essential or they will feel weepy and empty for days.  There are no fixed rules so communication and risk aware experimentation is key.    Quite often a blanket, a cup of tea and a chance to de-brief about the experience is enough.

If your play partner is not experienced, it may help to seek out someone in the kink and/or tantra scene who is who can help you work it out.   The local kink scene often runs workshops and skill shares.  Or else you can book in for a professional session with a dominatrix or switch. Some professionals approach their play more consciously than others so ask questions until you find the right fit.  Many kink professionals are happy to see couples and guide them into a play session together.  

If you are looking to specifically learn the skills to take humiliation into the realm of conscious play as part of your personal journey into great self-awareness, personal transformation, discovery and alignment then there are people listed on my website who work in those areas offering everytign from counselling, workshops, and play sessions.   There is a book list on the resources section of my website.   You are also welcome to sign up to my mailing list to keep an eye out for upcoming workshops or book in for a personalised consultation or play session.  Skype sessions consultations available.  

Most of all, remember that while this kind of play can push boundaries and be challenging, it is also lots and lots of  fun and one hell of an adventure!   Good luck on your quest to discover even more of your inner world and get off in the process.  Yay for the paradox of holy smut!

 – Artemisia de Vine: Goddess of Conscious Kink

 

All material on this blog is copyright and the property of Artemisia de Vine.   

Oct 122013
 

vintage spanking 3I am a spanking enthusiast based in Sydney, Australia.  I thoroughly enjoy the role of spanker and spankee.  There doesn’t appear to be much of a traditional spanking scene in Australia and I intend to remedy that with my fabulous spanking enthusiast colleagues.

There is something truly, wickedly divine about a spanking.  I simply adore being both a spanker and a spankee.  I love everything about it.  The nervous anticipation… the playfulness… the sternness… the lovely floaty trance inducing rhythmic spanking… and the shock of the harsh punishment spankings… paddles… canes… taws… hand spanking… OTK (over the knee) and more.   I love the red, tender welts that serve as a reminder…  The embarrassment of being put-in-line… The thrill of exploring power over each other.

Each spanking session has its own flavor but there are a few that stand out as worth mentioning.

One of my favorite playmates and I really enjoy exploring the role play of boss who has caught his secretary stealing from petty cash… She can be fired or she can save her job and take a sound spanking followed by six of the best cane strokes.   Blushing and protesting she bends over his knee for a long hand spanking… Skirts hiked up and panties down…  The humiliation of it is quite delicious.  Then, when she is thoroughly warmed up, she is striped naked and made to bend over the desk to take the paddle, strap and finally the cane.  It is an intoxicating mix of pleasure and pain.

Vintage-Spanking-Image 6However when this is done, the secretary realises that actually the boss has been embezzling money which is a far worse crime.  She uses this information to turn the tables on him in a sizzling scene where she gives far more punishment than she gets and won’t stop until she gets a pay rise.   Oh boy does the boss regret his earlier degradation of her as he is forced to take everything she dishes out or be publicly outed and possibly face jail time.   It is a terribly fun game of humiliation and revenge, giggles and banter and squeals as cane bites flesh.
Another favorite is playing card games or board games like snakes and ladders.  Who ever loses gets the next spanking.   School student being disciplined in the principle’s office is another fun game…  Over the chair, touch your toes… Thwack, thwack, thwack!

Here is a tale I wrote out about Paul who is disciplined by his sister-in-law for not appreciating his wife.  Hope you enjoy it!

However, on occasion I do not want any role play at all.  I simply want to float in the genuine pleasure of a rhythmic spanking.   Spanking can actually be used beautifully with tantric techniques to induce an erotic, ecstatic trance.   People have been using pleasure and pain for centuries to carry them into altered states of consciousness for pleasure, ordeal initiations and for spiritual experiences.
I have loved spanking for as long as I can remember.  It is a personal passion.   I think the English tradition of the spankee is truly fabulous and aim to bring something similar to Sydney.  I also plan on exploring a few non traditional ways of exploring too.  As well as my professional sessions, I dream of having spanking parties and events.  I am seriously considering making a few spanking clips in future so stay tuned.  Perhaps even drop me a line to suggest a favorite spanking scenario.