Aug 022016
 

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSMTaking a deeper look into our taboo sexual fantasies and kinky desires, can be an extraordinarily illuminating experience.  Furthermore it can have a really positive effect in so many areas of our lives, yet we are often so debilitated by shame that we cannot even tell our nearest and dearest we have these dirty little secrets.

Or else, we proudly live out our fantasies in the kink scene… or by being a player… or masturbating to them… but are afraid to lift the lid and take a closer peak at what they mean and end up missing out on their full potential at best, and hurting ourselves and others, at worst.

One of the reasons that we often feel so much shame around sexual fantasies, is that they frequently tap into parts of us we have suppressed.  We are often in denial about these aspects of ourselves so when our sexual fantasies knock on the door we feel as though they don’t really represent us.  The shame impulse can kick in and we can suppress our fantasies altogether.  Or another common response, is to enjoy kinky desires or taboo fantasies, only for the length of time we are aroused, and then revert to feeling shame in ourselves and brush them back under the proverbial bush.

So many of us fear letting others know what we really think about when fantasising and yet we are all in the same boat!  Even those that initially think they don’t have sexual fantasies, discover they do when we take a closer look.

Common Fantasies

In my work as a lifestyle and professional dominatrix, switch and sex worker I have had the privilege of working closely with thousands of people’s fantasies.  I help them tease them out and create play scenes designed on each individual’s unique erotic wiring. While we are all different, there are common themes that emerge again and again.  There are also common patterns in the aspects of ourselves that we suppress that are directly linked to our fantasy turn ons.

Some are fantasies are about people we know, others are about ideal lovers and many are embarrassingly politically incorrect!  We can feel things that we would never want to act out in everyday life.  Aspects of us come out of the murky depths when we allow ourselves to tap into sexual fantasy!

Love and Power is a very common theme.  Those that see themselves as loving don’t like to see their desire for power for instance and suppress some of these aspects of self, while those that see themselves as powerful secretly desire to surrender to love… Or be forced to… These aspects come out in our fantasy desires.

Some of those that consider themselves “manly” don’t like to have others know they have a suppressed desire for the attributes socially coded as “feminine”.  Yet often those types will be the very ones that come and see me secretly for a cross dressing session… Or to be ravished with strap on…  There are of course also other reasons someone might be drawn to this type of play.  This is just an example of how a suppressed aspect of us might come out through fantasy.

Being ravished, or ravishing someone is a common theme.  Non-consent and rape fantasies can get us hot under the collar even though we don’t really want to experience them in everyday life at all!  These fantasies are an entirely different thing to real rape.  Our fantasy rapist magically knows how to do all the right things to get us off… Forcing us to experience the aspects of us we deny ourselves…

Sometimes we desire to give up all responsibility and be taken care of by some impossibly perfect lover…

Sometimes we fantasise about doing acts we consider dirty with people who are taboo for us to desire…

Sometimes we desire to hurt or be hurt… Physically or emotionally… Or eroticise things that genuinely cause us distress in real life…  Sometimes we eroticise shame itself…

Sometimes our fantasies are less obvious and take a bit more to decipher.  They are complex reflections of our inner world…  as complex and unique as you are, but however yours show up we have a lot to learn by taking a closer look.

Our inner fantasy world is a stage where all the parts of us we deny can come out to play. However, while we remain in shame or denial about these aspects of ourselves, these aspects take on a life of their own and can rebel against us.  They can express themselves in destructive ways.

So what is the antidote?  Well this is exactly what I would love to explore with you in my upcoming workshops series.

In the level 1 workshop you will get a chance to explore your recurrent erotic themes.  We will also explore what happens when we create an intentional relationship with our sexual fantasies.  What happens when we trust our sexual desires as an important message from unconscious selves and cultivate a playful and compassionate curiosity about them?  What happens when we find consensual and healthy ways to live out these aspects through play scenes and role play?  What happens when we all start accepting these sexual expressions in ourselves and in each other and stop being ashamed to admit we all have them?  How will that impact us personally, and collectively as a society?

This workshop is not about trying to “heal” these desires so we don’t have them anymore but quite to the contrary, it is about embracing our denied aspects and creating healthy and super sexy outlets to play with them!  It is about turning our sexual shadows into our allies.

Likewise this workshop also acknowledges that it is possible to act out our fantasies in ways that reinforce the shame and suppression cycle and keep us prisoners.  I explore the ways in which we can avoid those traps.

In level Two, which is a four day, fully catered retreat with optional play party, I share my skills as a professional kinkster and fantasy specialist.  I show you the tools I use to create play scenes that are based on your own, and other people’s fantasy blueprints. Level one teaches you how to work out and relate to those blueprints and level two shows you how to bring them to life through play.  Next year I will also be offering a more in depth Practitioner Level Training that includes these skills and much more.

Interestingly, in my experience, unpacking our unique fantasy blueprints doesn’t kill our turn ons, but instead creates more opportunities to intentionally tap into what can be our most exciting and fulfilling sexual expressions.

It also creates really fertile ground for deeper relationship with ourselves and intimacy with our loved ones.  It brings us into alignment with ourselves and leads to a sense of healthy sexual wholeness.  For some, it can even lead to connection with that aspect of ourselves that is bigger, deeper, wiser than our everyday self.

This work is transformation though play and it’s super hot!  What’s not to love about that!

Are you someone who only ever secretly fantasises while watching porn, during sex or while masturbating but would like to learn how to get more out of these desires by bringing them into your sex life more proactively and openly?  Then this workshop series is for you.

Are you someone who has a partner with taboo desires completely different from your own and experiences confusion about this disconnect? Would you like to understand these fantasies more and learn how to play with them in ways that are mutually fulfilling?  Then come along, this is going to be really helpful for you.

Are you someone who would love to know how to discover your own, and other people’s, sexual fantasy blueprint and how to design a play scene around it that hits all the right buttons?  Well let me share my years of experience and the knowledge I have gleaned from creating thousands of play scenes as a professional.  Level 2, the four-day, fully catered retreat & optional play party will be especially useful for you.   However, first you need to understand level 1.

Are you someone who has played around in the kink scene and done-all-the-things, but feel as though there is something more possible with this play?  Something you can’t quite put your finger on?  Then this is for you too.

All genders and sexual orientations are welcome.  Singles, monogamous couples, poly folk, you are all welcome.  You do not need to have a partner to attend.

There will be no nudity or sexual activities on level 1 but in level 2 there will be the possibilities of your own expression at the optional play party. You could also easily attend level 2 without ever choosing to be nude or play in any overtly sexual ways. You are invited to participate only to whatever level you feel comfortable with at any given moment and honor your learning edge.  Safety and consent frameworks will be openly discussed and put in place. Breaches of these codes of conduct will be taken seriously and may result in your removal without a refund.

Listen to my podcast on Exploring Sexual Shadows here.

Read more about the workshops and BUY TICKETS here.

Join my mailing list to stay informed about upcoming workshops, private coaching and play sessions.

Alternately follow me on Twitter.

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSMAbout Artemisia de Vine
Sydney-based, professional & lifestyle dominatrix, switch & sex worker who specialises in creating opportunities for sexual self discovery through play scenes designed on her client’s unique erotic wiring.  She draws on her experience and training in BDSM, tantra, sexological bodywork, Taoism, personal development coaching, years of work in the adult industry and more.  Her skills and experience span the sensual to the deliciously twisted.  See her website for more.

Jul 252016
 

Artemisia de Vine discipline role play CKWarning, explicit pics and stories about Sydney-based Mistress Artemisia de Vine and her slave.

Her: “You didn’t!”

Me: “Oh yes I did!”

Her: “No way!”

Me:  “Yes, I absolutely did.  I superglued googly eyes to his cock”.

We two Mistresses laughed till we cried at the diabolical absurdity of it.  Tears literally streaming down our faces.  God I love my job!

Being a sadistic humiliatrix doesn’t always have to be terribly strict and stern.  Sometimes it is just damn entertaining.

Mistress Artemisia's Sydney slave CKThough the scene didn’t start out that way.  He kept me waiting 8mins and this is never a good idea.  I instructed him to enter the shared courtyard bathroom and strip naked.  His clothes were to be placed in a neat pile, with his tribute on top and he was to wait.  Cold…  Knowing it was a bathroom used by those in the offices downstairs…  He obediently waited.  He’s submitted to me several times before and knows it is best to obey…

When I eventually did throw the door open and help myself to his pile of clothes, he looked quite pale.  So nervous he was shaking.  I stood there fully clothed with the door open, knowing anyone could walk up at any time.  He had no where to hide.  I savored his panic and took my time…

“You made me wait 8 minutes!”  I said with a raised eyebrow.  I didn’t need to say another word as the point was clearly made.  His eyes darted behind me to check if anyone was there.

I slowly turned  and walked across the open courtyard.  It is semi private but should a neighbor from a nearby building happen to look at just that moment… I instructed him to walk behind me and I walked slowly and deliberately… him naked and me holding his clothes… him bereft of his only shield should someone walk up the stairs…

Finally I had him inside… His heart was racing, eyes struggling to adjust to the dim light.

I locked his clothes away…

“Today’s rules are very simple”, I said with a cocked head and seductively knowing smile.  I reached over and firmly cupped his chin, tipping his head up… my face inches from his.  Forced, intense eye contact.

“You are to remain erect at all times, but you are not to cum.  If you do cum, you will eat it of course.  I will make you lick every last morsel and we will continue anyway even though you are not aroused.  How you feel about it is irrelevant.  I don’t care if you are no longer enjoying our play because you are not horny.  You will obey anyway and I will not be returning your clothes until I am done with you.

Keeping an erection doesn’t sound too hard now does it?

“No Mistress”

Sydney slave edging, Mistress Artemisia CK“But you must keep that erection no matter what I do to you… We will be bring you right to the brink of climax again and again but you must not cum… This is called edging.  Do you agree to these terms?” I asked, deceptively seductive.  Afterall that sounds like a pleasurable session does it not?

“Yes Mistress”

I let a cruel smile spread slowly across my face as I held his gaze in a vice.  “Good,” I purred.

Now, now, dear readers I shall not give away all my secrets… You need to come submit to my whims to discover my tricks…

Suffice it to say that by the end he didn’t know if he was coming or going.  Two and a half hours of slowly building, pleasure, pain and desperation had him doing anything I wanted.

I had him desperate to keep his erection but made it terribly difficult by insisting he repeat back passages from “The History and Art of The Dominatrix” word for word.  Each mistake or incorrect word had… er… consequences…  Yet focusing on getting the reciting correct made it terribly difficult to maintain his erection… which also had consequences… painful ones.

Rather than opening up, this slave armors himself and steels himself against me… trying to endure everything I throw at him.  I needed him to open and surrender so I was distracting the part of his mind that is normally in the driver’s seat in order to let another part break on through… I did this by making that part of his mind focus on reciting while simultaneously overstimulating him in waves of sensations…  Sensory overload… anal and cock stimulation and torture… Sudden and intense pain…  alternating between nearly cumming and then experiencing pain to bring him back from the edge… over and over…

“The Dominatrix archetype overthrows social norms and conventions, upholding the female position of superiority and power”.  He recited with desperation in his voice…  Trying so hard to get every word correct to avoid that terrible no win, rock and hard place…  How I loved watching his struggle, not knowing what to focus on.

In the end all he could do was surrender…  by that stage he was delerious and he would humiliate and degrade himself in any way at all that pleased me…

Sydney slave superglue googly eyes CK…And what pleased me, amongst other things, was supergluing googly eyes to his cock.   Oh how I laughed and laughed!

His utter submission and eventual orgasm was cosmic.  His ego gave up and away he went… into subspace…

But that is not the end dear readers.  It is in the afterglow of this deliberate madness that some of the most profound things happen.  It is afterwards, in the still quietness where he lay broken and blissed on the floor…  Breathing the way I taught him… That is when he truly was free.

“There is no drug like this!  This is so different!  I haven’t ever felt like this before.  You’ve done it again Mistress!  I think you can’t possibly come up with something new to do me and yet you do every time! And every time we go further!  This is… there are no words… This is just wow!  You really really do know what you are doing.”

“Well done slave.  Well done.” I smile fondly as I stroke his forehead and let him soar.   I glow inside.  Peace, connection and bliss through perversion.   This is my art.

Jan 102015
 

 

 

Artemisia de Vine femdom Sydney CK logoDear Diary,

Today I enjoyed testing the flesh of a new slave.  I was in a cruel, sadistic mood and wanted to see what he would do to please Me.  I stripped him of his name and his eyesight by placing him in a hood and then made him prostrate himself before Me.  Slave position… Kneeling with forehead to the ground, hands out in front, palms up, offering himself to Me, his Mistress and his Queen… legs spread to expose his soft, vulnerable places for Me to inspect.

I reminded him that while wearing My collar, he is nothing but a vessel for My entertainment… That it wasn’t about his pleasure but all about Mine… and that I was in a petulantly bored sort of mood in desperate need of a diverting distraction.

He foolishly agreed to be my toy and I purred to Myself.  Let the games begin!

Mistress Artemisia slave sadistic sydney CKI soon had him trussed up, nicely vulnerable… exposed…  legs spread in the air and hands fastened securely above his head… helpless to escape but still able to move a little should he struggle.  This small amount of movement was intentional.  I had a little game planned for him.  I like to torment the mind as well as the body…

In our pre-play consultation, I had discovered slave particularly loathed golden showers.  Useful to know…

I placed marbles on his belly and told him that if he kept perfectly still no matter what I did to him and kept the marbles from rolling off, he would please Me and eventually be set free.  However if the marbles rolled off I would be displeased and he would have to drink My golden nectar.

exposed slave bondage sydney CKThis of course was a diverting game for Me.  I was a entertained for a good couple of hours…  I enjoyed visiting all sorts of teasing unpleasantness on him… nipple torture… cock and ball torture… different unexpected sensations from gentle stroking to sharp searing in delicate places…  and of course, with such a nicely exposed asshole I was too tempted not to torment it.

“Oh but slave, you should be honored to drink My golden nectar.  It is an elite vintage.  I could bottle it and sell it for a fortune.  Other slaves would be delighted to taste My tang on their tongue.  I should make you gargle it and guess the bouquet.  Can you hear Me drinking more water in preparation?  I am brewing a special batch just for you.”

To this slave however, the thought was revolting so the imagery kept him even more obediently still.  As much as I would enjoy forcing him to drink, I actually had other plans.  Torture is so much worse if you choose it yourself… To him drinking My urine was hell.  So much so that he would willingly beg Me to do other painful things to him, and dear diary, I do ever so love a begging slave.

Still while I had him nicely bound and psychologically tormented I may as well see what else I could get out of him.  There was no rush, I didn’t want the game to end too soon.  I wondered what dirty things were in the secret corners of his mind that he had never told a soul?    What things would make him he die of embarrassment  if his friends, team mates and colleagues knew?  I do like having leverage over My slaves and knowledge is power.

I gloved up and pretended to lube up his bottom in preparation for penetration.  However I instead of lube I used a generous amount of deep heat, massaging it into his delicate pucker and slathering his balls with it.  I then stood back and waited for him to realise what I had done.

Artemisia's slave Sydney hood CKIt didn’t take long… Soon whimpering began to escape his lips and he looked distinctly uncomfortable.

The marbles teetered dangerously but slave was determined not to taste My urine.  He managed keep them balanced in a neat row on his quivering flesh.

“Your bottom is looking nice and vulnerable slave?  How is it feeling?”  I asked in amused mock sympathy.

“It burns like nothing else Mistress!” He said breathing sharply and clearly miserably but still determined to prove himself to Me.

“Oh good.  That pleases Me. Though… it is a rather tight hole…  I think it needs stretching, don’t you?”

He gulped, not sure how to answer.

“What no answer slave?  I shall take that as a yes.  Unless…  unless of course you entertain Me in other ways?  I paused a moment to let hope simmer…  Perhaps you’d like to tell me a story? ”

“A story Mistress?”  His confusion was priceless.

sadist ass spreader speculum femdom BDSM CKI didn’t answer for a moment.  I lubed him up and penetrated him with my finger for a while, then inserted one of my favorite toys… the ass spreader…  He would have felt cold metal sliding into his anus.  Probably initially a relief against the burning… I gave the screw a few turns so it slowly began to open his hole, giving him a taste of what was to come.  His confusion about what was happening brought a smirk to My face.

“I tell you what slave, I will begin stretching your asshole open nice and wide.  You will soon want Me to stop.  When you have confessed to Me a dark secret fantasy you have never told a soul I will cease stretching and apply tabasco sauce.  This is a new level of burning but you will beg for Me to do it… unless you want Me to continue to open your hole wider… and wider… and wider…

In order for Me to stop stretching you, I must be convinced it is a true story you have fantasised about slave and I will know if you are lying.  If I am not convinced I will continue stretching until I am.  Your hole is delicate and tight so I would hurry up if I were you”.

A lovely dilemma.  He does not want more burning.  Chili on top of deep heat is significantly unpleasant but very soon the stretching would be so much worse.  Again, I do love it when slaves beg me to torture them…  The trick is to get them to beg for the lesser evil.  I also love humiliating them.

“What is more slave, I am going to make a little video of this.  I am going to record you confessing your perversions to Me.  Perhaps I will keep them secret and safe… perhaps I will put them on the internet for all to see… It depends on how well you please Me”.

I turned the screw a little more, widening his hole to show I meant business.

“Now begin.  Make it good”.

This was a terribly fun game for me!  It went on for some time, with Me slowly turning the screws and opening him wider and wider.

Needless to say I forced some very entertaining confessions from him…  Confessions that had him blushing furiously and Me laughing all the way.  I could tell he was blushing because even though he wore a hood his chest turned bright red.  Beads of sweat turned to riverlets on his flesh… He confessed about fantasising doing some truly dirty things with people who would be shocked if they found out.  I will keep this information in the vault for now…  This knowledge will prove useful in future I am sure.

chili Mistress Sydney anal tortureBy the end he was begging in earnest for Me to fuck him with a tabasco sauce covered dildo… Which I did with glee.  I pushed that chili covered phallus into his strectch and aching bottom, generously spreading more sauce on his sensitive pucker and some for his balls too.

Ooh didn’t slave squirm!    Yet as much as sweated and groaned, he obediently held still enough to not drop the marbles.   I laughed in delight the more he suffered for Me.

This amused Me for some time but Mistress always wins so the marbles had to fall.

I let him think he had almost won his freedom then, without warning, yanked the nipple clamps off.  He cried out in shock and an involuntary convulsion dislodged those marbles and sent them rolling across his flesh almost in slow motion… then one after the other there was an ominous clang and clatter as they dropped to the floor and rolled across My dungeon.

“Oh dear, slave, after trying so hard for hours it looks as though you will still have to drink My golden shower after all.  Not a drop is to be spilt…”

I let that simmer for a moment…  Slave whimpered in dismay…

“Unless of course you beg Me to cane the soles of your feet instead, and thank me for the privilege of being beaten.  What would you prefer slave?”

bastinado sydney mistress foot tortureBeating the soles of the feet is called  bastinado and is really quite intense.  I knew this slave was a sportsman who had to go running later that night… which would prove difficult with sore, bruised feet…

Predictably, slave was soon pleading with Me to use the cane on his soft tootsies…

I took my time to let anticipation build and then whoosh! The cane sung as it sliced the air and sunk into his restrained feet.  He was beautifully tied up in rope bondage with no hope of getting away from Me.   After each slice of pain, he shuddered and gasped, trying to get his breath back.  As soon as he could form the words he dutifully thanked Me for my sadistic attentions and begged for more.

“Stroke One, thank You Mistress, may i please have another…”

Another cruel thwack biting into his tender feet.

“Two thank You Mistress, may i please have another…”

More and more…

“Twenty four thank You Mistress, may i please have another…”  he whimpered, clearly unable to take much more.

Finally I was satisfied.

Well… not quite. I had one last cruel game to play before I sent him back out into the world.  I untied him and led him to the shower.  I had him stand there naked in front of Me.

“Now slave, would you like you to be allowed to cum today?”

“It’s up to You Mistress”.

“Yes I know it is up to Me, but would you like to?”

“Yes Mistress,” he answered uncertainly.

Good then perhaps I will reward you for suffering for Me.  Play with yourself and let me know when you are getting close to climaxing…  However remember I own you.  I own your cock and I own your cum.  You are not to cum without my permission, do you understand?

“Yes Mistress”

I watched him with My arms folded and an amused expression as he tugged away pathetically at his cock.  It was sore and red from the earlier cock-caning and other CBT ministrations but I have learned a man will walk through fire in order to be allowed to cum.  He played with himself, looking both embarrassed and turned on.  His cock began to stand to attention and it wasn’t long before it was straining and stiff.  I watched him start to get close… his eyes closing, his chest heaving and his face making a grimace like they all do when about to orgasm.

“May I please cum Mistress?  I am so close!  Please may I cum?”

Without warning I grabbed the shower hose and turned a full blast of icy water all over him, shocking him out of his arousal.

“Why of course not you dirty little slave!”  I laughed as I held the stream of water mercilessly on him while he scrambled into the corner to get away.  “Of course you can’t.  How entertaining that you thought this was about you!  It is of course all about Me.  Think about that as you struggle around the running track with sore feet and blue balls tonight.  Every step a reminder that you are here to serve Me.”

Based on a real session with Mistress Artemisia de Vine.

NOTE:  There are always layers upon layers of psychological play going on underneath the actual activities in any given scene.  Every scene is negotiated to suit the individual wiring of both myself and the person I am playing with and consent and de-brief is very much part of this process.  I am always struck by the beauty of someone who is so thoroughly cracked open in submission… the trust in me to guide them safetly through this torment…

Slave’s primary intention for the session was not to get horny. It was to submit. Horny feelings may or may not be part of that. What he needed was to truly believe he was not in control anymore and to let his ego go in surrender so he could fly. 

My role is to take on all the ego so he can be free of his…  There is great pleasure in power tripping… Win/win really.  Ironically we end up in the same place… He gets there through the back door while I get there through the front.  There is magic in the intimacy of Domination and submission. 

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyABOUT THE AUTHOR: Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Domme and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness.  She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevent to their personal journey.  She loves to explore pleasure, the Mysteries of Existence and just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.   She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.  She is at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

If the link between BDSM and shadow work intrigues you, you may be interested in reading this blog on Conscious Kink and Humiliation Play.

Another play scene story that may intrigue you: BDSM as Theatre of the Soul: An erotic tale of Sadistic Degradation

And A tale of public Humiliation
A
nd Dear Diary, Today I made my slave…

Website: www.consciouskink.com
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