Oct 162016
 
london-2

 

artemisia-strict-disciplinarianHere I am in London, the city of smacked bottoms and let me tell you, I like it.

In my first week I was invited to join Miss Elsa Svenson in disciplining two wayward gents. There is something so fabulous about travelling to the other side of the planet and walking straight into a school room scene with the chance to wield the cane. I had been jet lagged, disoriented by being in a foreign country where nothing seemed to work as I expected and feeling overwhelmed by the London underground. Strange as it may seem, it was the sound of crooked kaboo and dragon canes slicing through the air and landing soundly on school boy bottom flesh, that helped me feel grounded. Ah, yes this is feeling is home.

 

 

 

Miss Elsa Svenson: Good old fashioned discipline

Miss Elsa Svenson: Good old fashioned discipline

Miss Svenson

is a no nonsense, strict disciplinarian with a large collection of corrective tools that have been beautifully broken in over many a bottom. Slippers, taws, straps of all thicknesses and levels of severity. She is the headmistress personified and is strictly non erotic in her administration of behaviour correction. I liked her immediately.

We are talking about the possibility of doing some filming together before I leave with me as a new teacher in her school, bringing Australian flavour to detention time. You can see some of her clips here. Also, you can follow her on twitter.

 

 

kentmistress0390I also had the privilege of seeing Miss Eleanor Sullivan in action. This woman is brilliant at a severe telling off and harsh, heavy-handed spanking. She was relentless in her ministrations. I was impressed with her endurance. She also appears in some of Miss Svenson’s clips and you can follow her on twitter.

three-disciplinarians

Eleanor Sullivan, Elsa Svenson & Artemisia de Vine smiling after thoroughly disciplining a naughty peeping tom.

I also learned that it is possible to have a naughty boy bent over all three of our laps at the same time, in such a position that we can all easily access his bottom. If two ladies sit side by side on chairs, opposite the third lady who is facing us on her chair… knees touching and slightly interlaced… then the naughty boy is bent over all of us and we can all manage quite a good swing.

We took turns beating his bottom for being a peeping tom. A thorough slippering from his “mother” and the “girl-next-door” who he had been spying on, as well as her “mother”. Oh my! Three incensed women putting him in his place. What a un/lucky character he was.

Electra Amore roleplays Irene & Artemisia de Vine play Ella

Electra Amore roleplays Irene & Artemisia de Vine play Ella

Switching!

While back in Sydney I am far more often the disciplinarian, I am here to experience both sides of the coin. I have accepted a few appointments with polite gentlemen who wish to bend me over their knee and am looking forward to it, if with some trepidation. I have my advert on spankee finder, so may be tempted to accept a few more opportunities to experience what I normally dish out, if gentlemen approach with the right attitude. These will be in London central, Woking & perhaps Birmingham if there is enough interest to take the trip.

Email me or contact me on my UK number 07340716336.  You can also follow me on twitter or join my mailing list.  See my spanking gallery here. 

 

Mr Possum, my travelling companion has tasted the delights of lovely English bottom flesh too. He was tight-lipped about details as a gentleman should be but he did have an extra twinkle in his eye and spring in his step after enjoying the company of Lily Ann last week. He has a few more lined up spankees. We are in the process of setting up a blog for him to tell his own tales, publish his prolific spanking stories and talk about the Australian scene. Keep an eye out for that.

 

New Disciplinary tools

Meantime, I have ordered several new implements from David at Quality Control and have my eye on several more from The London Tanner. I am hoping to meet a few other implement makers while I am here. I will be eager to test them out so let me know if you are keen to offer me your bottom in a session. I see people of all genders.

A big thank you to all those of you who have reached out to make me feel welcome, offered to play tour guide and proffer tips about the local scene. Please keep the invitations to spanking parties and events coming.

Dec 112014
 

Mistress Artemisia Sydney Pro Domme TealI forbade my slave from releasing the contents of a generous enema then insisted he perform a hundred vigorous star jumps.  I eyed him with amusement as he struggled to obey.  This was part of his obedience training and he needed to learn that his body no longer belonged to him.  Even the basic functions of eating and evacuating body waste were  no longer under his control.   I am Mistress.

He continued to jump up and down as commanded but the difficulty of holding the contents of the enema in became increasingly intense and nearly impossible to contain completely.  Of course he had to lick up any drops he spilt on my bathroom floor… and there was quite a bit of spillage despite how desperately he tried to hold on…  So down on his hands and knees he went to lap up every drop of water that leaked from his anus.

All his holes are mine to use.  If I want him to lick anal juice then he will lick anal juice.

Just when he thought this torment was finally over I announced there would be fifty cold strokes of the cane before he would be allowed to release the enema.  He was cramping, red faced and pleading…  I took my time slicing into his tender bottom flesh again and again.   Caning hurts more when one is tense… but he did not dare unclench.

When he was truly frantic with desperation I allowed him to sit on the toilet but I made him wait even longer while I counted down slowly… ever so slowly… from ten… really testing his obedience in the face of intense discomfort and bodily distress…

When finally I let him release I stood over him watching his humiliation with amusement.  Being witnessed noisily exploding leaves little room for dignity…   A reminder that even his right to privacy belongs to me…

After several minutes of bowel explosions, I had him  stand in the shower, bend over and spread his buttocks while I hosed him down thoroughly with cold water… This was just the preparation for the rest of our play session…  The real torture was about to begin…

Pain, then pleasure, then pain again… edging… riding the crest of the wave but forbidden to cum… used… degraded… begging… humiliated… When I finally decided to let him ejaculate of course he was forced to eat it all… I waited until it was cold and he was no longer aroused…  A reminder that his obedience is about what I want, not about making him horny…

I’ve been humming happily to myself all afternoon.

There is a level of intimacy and trust when playing with our shadow side that you just don’t get when we only see each other’s “nice” persona.

I did what it took to convince his mind he was no longer in control so he could let go and fly… he offered himself up to me in sacrifice for my entertainment… and believe me I was entertained…  A beautifully perverse arrangement between consenting adults.

Enema timeAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Domme and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness.  She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevent to their personal journey.  She loves to explore pleasure, the Mysteries of Existence and just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.   She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.  She is at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

If the link between BDSM and shadow work intrigues you, you may be interested in reading this blog on Conscious Kink and Humiliation Play.

Other Blogs about real play scenes you may enjoy:  De Vine Torment: Sydney Mistress tortures Her Slave

BDSM as Theatre of the Soul: A Tale of Sadistic Degradation

Website: www.consciouskink.com

Subscribe to mailing list
Follow her on Twitter

 

 

Dec 042014
 

 

 

Artemisia de Vine Conscious Erotic ArtsMy name is Artemisia de Vine and I am a Sydney-based sex worker who specialises in the conscious erotic arts with a greedy appreciation for the deeply sensual through to the utterly kinky.  I am a classically trained BDSM, kink & fetish professional as well as a domestic spanking & discipline switch, erotic massage and conscious sex practitioner and occasional GFE (girlfriend experience) escort.  I am often asked why my sessions are so deliciously unique and seem to satisfy on such a deep level.

My Philosophy is that we can use our sexuality for escapism or for self discovery.  I choose to focus on the later.  If we approach our adult play time with awareness, a sense of open curiosity, bringing our whole selves to the table, our sexuality is not only deeply satisfying but an avenue to discover ourselves.  In some cases this leads to profound personal growth and transformation as we step more fully into our whole being.

The best way I have found to go about this, is through following our erotic cookie crumbs through our inner landscapes and express this with lusty play.  Fun, real and sexy as hell!

The primary reason for my sessions is not therapy though often there are therapeutic side effects.  The reason is because we are inherently sexual beings.  So much of the world fears sex because it truly is powerful.  It has the potential to be destructive or incredibly beautiful.  It can lead us home to ourselves.  By owning our sexuality, all of it, secret dark corners in our minds as well as loving lushness, we create a conscious relationship with ourselves and our lovers.  I am fascinated with how consensual exploration of the full spectrum of erotic possibilities within us with can not only be incredibly hot but can lead us home to ourselves and make us whole.

My Sessions Suit those who sense there is something more to sexuality and yearn for a skilled, open-minded companion to play, explore and discover with.  I create spaces where you can be just who you need to be in the moment.   You do not need to worry that I will impose kink on you if you are a sensual being or vise versa.

The focus is helping you uncover who you really are as an erotic being once the socially prescribed sexual scripts fall away.  I design sessions around your unique erotic “fingerprint”  in conjunction with my own erotic wiring.  I find sessions are just so much more satisfying for both of us if we take the time to find where we naturally overlap and play in that zone.  Clearly there are some things I am not drawn to so will recommend other practitioners if necessary.

My sessions focus on the journey, not just the destination so I recommend a minimum of a 2hr booking.

Artemisia de Vine antique queen final logoBut Where to Start?  Initially we just chat on the phone for a few minutes to get to know each other and feel into whether or not we are compatible.  If it feels right we arrange a booking.

In order to create the place for authentic sexual expression, I offer a consultation process as part of the booking.  I ask questions that draw out things you may not even be aware of about yourself, make suggestions of things you might like to explore with me and teach you simple but effective techniques to aid you in dropping down into the experience more fully.  The more we approach sexuality with awareness the more we can fully turn up with all of ourselves.  The erotic is so much more fulfilling when we open and include the physical & the psychosexual.

This in-depth consultation is part of discovering just who you are and what is erotically possible for you. It is about arming you with the skills needed to get the most out of our play time.  It is also part of allowing the time get out of our heads and into our bodies, peel back the layers and allow our (not always conscious) desires come to the fore.  As such it is part of the session and is best done leading into play time.

However skype session consultations are possible if you prefer.  They cost $150, which is taken off the price of your booking should you choose to go ahead.

Which Session is for me? 

I have two websites, for the sensual erotic arts and one for my kinky side.  You may not fit neatly into any of the below categories and that’s ok.  We can work design something especially for you in our consultation.  However below is a summary of the different aspects of me to give you an idea of the types of sessions I enjoy.

Mistress Artemisia Sydney Pro Domme TealMistress: No mere dabbler in BDSM, I am a classically trained Mistress who has dedicated over ten years to perfecting her art.  I can be wickedly playful, sensually enticing or strict and sadistic depending on my whim. Either way I will ignite your senses and crawl under your skin, deep within your psyche.  I take charge with an elegant, cat-like grace and confidence born of natural dominance, intelligent perception and a deep knowledge of the hidden world of dark fantasies. I delight in pulling your strings and making you dance to my tune… to the tune that is also reflected deep within you… I love that unmasked moment of surrender, where you cannot be anything but your true self.  Witnessed, held, taken…

Check out my blog for stories about the kinds of sessions I get up to.    See the variety of BDSM sessions available.

Note: Mistress sessions are not full service.

 

Kinky Role Play:  I love to explore just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behavior and nudge our boundaries.  I access all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but do so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved. I am at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

Besides! Playing with our forbidden fantasies and exploring power can be super hot! Be it Aunt/nephew, Age Play, Boss/Employee, Teacher/student or many more scenarios. Feel free to email me the gist of your fantasies. I generally like being the one in charge but will switch for the right gentleman.

Maybe full service: case by case negotiation and different fees apply depending on content.

 

Lady spanked mirrorIMG_7257-2 copySwitch/Submissive: For select gentlemen I enjoy switching and taking the submissive or bottom role in kinky play.  This may or may not be sexual depending on what we negotiate together.    The kinds of sessions I like to switch in are usually role play or discipline sessions however I am open to discussing other possibilities.

(Sex is not the main focus of these session but may be included as an extra towards the end).


Domestic Discipline: 
Traditional corporal punishment, spanking & discipline sessions have a whole different culture than BDSM.  I am pretty mad about every to do with it and happily take the role of either spanker or spankee in these sessions.  See more here including my spanking gallery.

 

erotic massage sydney logoErotic Massage Practitioner: Hot oil… soft, soft breasts… exquisite, full body skin on skin sensuality… surrender to the pleasure of highly skilled touch…  My sessions are far more than a “rub and tug”. These sessions are for those that truly want to delve into their eroticism and tantalize the whole being. This sumptuous array of sessions suit those that wish to surrender to full being pleasure, explore deeper and discover even more.  Read why my prostate massage sessions are so famous here.


Conscious Sex Companion: Have you ever wished you had a personal, skilled courtesan to explore with? Someone to make your erotic journey the object of their skilled, holistic and compassionate focus? Someone, attractive, friendly, seductive and knowledgable in the conscious erotic arts? Do you have a sense that there is something more to sex but are not sure how to access it? I am part guide to the Mysteries… part lover and playmate… For it is through a combination of conscious exploration and play that we find the treasure… I hold the space, play the role needed, provide the atmosphere and know-how for you to holistically explore your own unique sexual universe.  See more here. 


plus size sydney escort busty bondeEscort (GFE): 
For for select gentlemen who wish to enjoy a playful, sensual time with me to relax, unwind, explore and treat ourselves to un-rushed pleasure, I offer the girlfriend experience. This session is for those times when you do not want to focus on learning tantra or other conscious erotic exploration but just want to enjoy the company of a warm, friendly voluptuous woman. Time to be held in my soft bosom, stroked skin-on-skin and loved up. Let’s pleasure each other in my erotic oasis.  Here is a blog about what it is like on a GFE date with me.

About Me:  I have pretty much dedicated my life to the erotic arts.  I learn from every sexuality professional and pioneer I can.  What do I do with my holidays?  Go learn more sex geekery and put it together in creative ways to create experiences and opportunities for explorers of eros.  It is my life and my passion and I love nothing more than to help people access their full sexual and/or kinky potential.

I draw on aspects of sexological bodywork, lomilomi, tantra, Taoism, BDSM, somatic psychology and many other mindfully embodied practices.
At a Glance: I am a voluptuous, blonde, 39yo with creamy white skin, luscious G cup breasts and size 16 womanly curves.  I stand 5 foot 6 or 166cm without heels.  There are galleries on both websites.

Contact: I prefer initial contact to be via a phone chat so we can get a feel for whether or not we are on the same page.  However, if you cannot get hold of me, feel free to shoot me a text or email and I will get back to you.

Contact and Fees for Sensual sessions. 
Contact and Fees for Kinky sessions. 

Nov 012014
 

 

Mistress Artemisia de vine sassyAs I shoved his face into my toilet and began to secure his head in place with plastic wrap he gagged a little and began to resist.   I grabbed a tuft of his sandy hair and pushed him back into position.  His naked knees scrambled on the shiny white tiles, hands struggling against leather restraints behind his back.  With no way to balance himself he was easy to push around.   He was forced to comply.

“I thought you said I could do whatever I liked to you slave? Are you taking back your promises so soon?”

“No Mistress,  I’ll try harder Mistress,”

“Yes you will… but soon you won’t exactly have much choice in the matter,”  I smiled to myself as a rush of sadistic pleasure coursed through my body.  I love this game.

I tugged on the collar around his neck,  slipping cold metal chains through the loops with an echoing clatter and then wrapping them around the toilet.  I soon had him chained to the cistern, padlocked in place, face squarely over the toilet bowl.  I slipped the key into my cleavage for safe keeping.

“Now you will really have to impress me to be let free slave, and I am going to test your resolve,”  I told him in a calm, slightly amused tone.

“Yes Mistress,”  he replied, his voice betraying his nervousness.

I shoved his face further into the toilet and resumed plastic-wrapping his head in place.   I could feel the power rush coming on, slowing everything down…  making me feel so alive… the throbbing in my veins became connected to the beat of all Life.  The sound of plastic being unrolled, became amplified, squeaking and straining as I stretched it up over the back of his head and down around the toilet bowl… passing it through underneath and back up around again…  round and round until he was unable to move his head at all.

I stood back, wiped the hint of moisture from my brow and admired my handy work, catching a glimpse of satisfaction on my face in the bathroom mirror.  I turned and stared at myself as I stood over my little silk worm snug in his perverted cocoon.

Mistress Artemisia de Vine crop logoMy womanly shape was highlighted by an elegant sheer slip while black fake fur draped my shoulders highlighting my excessive bosom.  The soft curves of my breasts swept down to a tightly corseted waist and widened again considerably to frame voluptuous hips and thighs.  I reached up and twisted the pearls around my neck fascinated by the way my wild blonde curls made me look so deceptively innocent.

I just adored the juxtaposition of such lady-like femininity against the flushed with raw power and cruelty on my face.   I was no mere girl, posing with a whip and looking pretty to tantalize men’s gaze.  My reflection showed a mature kind of attractiveness that can only come from those who have explored themselves… from those that carry an inner knowingness and calm confidence.   My beauty doesn’t come from picture-perfect features,  it comes from being a fully fledged woman in her power.

My attention returned to my slave.  A familiar visage.  Yet another powerful corporate man, naked and bent over in the perfect position to leave him feeling exposed and degraded.  His bottom poked out in easy swiping distance and his s0-called manhood, his cock and balls, dangled nice and vulnerable for me to reach should I so choose.  The way he was fastened there left no way for him to protect them from me…  and he was rock hard.  He was loving this even as he experience a myriad of challenging emotions.

This is what they don’t understand, I thought to myself.  Those sweet eyed, well-meaning, yoga folk and their conscious living.  They are all meditation and green juice but they do not understand that in order to really be whole, we have to own all of ourselves, dark twisted bits as well as the love and light.

Owning our shadow and creating a conscious relationship with it, is part of the spiritual path.   The dark side is in us… always there…  snarling in the depths… hidden in the corners of our hearts and minds…  We are All Things, us mad humans… We are consciousness in an animal body capable of every kind of horror and wonder under the sun…

The more we deny it by trying to control it or suppress it, the more is pops out in other areas of our lives…  and the more it controls us, taking the steering wheel from deep within our unconscious and creating havoc in unexpected areas of our lives. The dark-side butterfly effect.

Owning this aspect of me is what makes me whole.  BDSM is theatre of the soul where we live out all our archetypes… all of them get voice… With consent and awareness this kind of lust, cruelty and power play can lead us Home to ourselves.  Being filthy is the holiest thing I know how to do.

Without warning I stabbed air holes through the plastic with a skewer, sharp metal piercing jagged fissures right near his vulnerable face… him unable to move out of the way.  He could surrender and trust or remain in fear.

He jumped and strained but could not escape… he hadn’t let go yet… He was still holding onto control… to the illusion that he had an impact on the outcome of our play.  The blood pumping through his jugular veins pulsed at a rapid rate…  His breath was sharp and shallow in his chest fogging up the plastic-wrap… Adrenalin.

I let him brew for a while, anticipating what would happen next while I prepared the next part of our little game.  No doubt he could hear me opening draws, scraping metal implements against the bench top…

As I got out the ginger root I had been brewing in the fridge and began carving it into a suitable shape, I could feel the animal in my body mirroring my slave’s rush.   The smell of his fear mingled with the fiery pungency of ginger juice set off the cat-like sadist in me.  A primal urge within just wanted to toy with him… degrade and humiliate him… peeling away the masks of his ego and his resistance until the core of him was exposed…  This lawyer, used to being in control… stuck in his head justifying his existence through logic and rhetoric… denying and suppressing his emotions… his feelings… his instincts… yes, this lawyer was to be broken down.

My role was to bring him face to face with all of that, dragging him squirming and screaming to stare his vulnerability in the eye…  To shatter the illusion of order and control…   Initiate him into his very fear of helplessness, and ultimately, into facing his own inevitable Death… where he could finally surrender to the peace of the void beyond.  Freedom.  Home.

But he is not on this journey alone.  I may be acting as his guide but I am on a journey of my own.  There is pleasure seeing him stripped of his dignity.   There is pleasure in cruelty and in feeling powerful… In playing God.  When engaged with through conscious exchange of power like this, it can lead me Home too.

The game is this.  I strip his ego down until he submits and surrenders remembering who he really is under all the constructs while at the same time I build my own ego up until it is a fiery supernova, exploding and setting me free to be my core, authentic self.   We are both heading to the same destination… him through the front door and me through the back.

Mistress high heelsHe could no doubt hear my slow deliberate steps as my stiletto heels clicked ominously on the tiles, signalling my approach.  His body tensed, every sense alert.

I began speaking to him in a soothing, hypnotic, lullaby tone while I traced one finger down his spine… down the small of his back…  slipping between his buttocks… and circling the ring of his anus.  My voice and sensual touch a contradiction to my words…

“Now darling slave, I am going to make you suffer for my pleasure.  There is no escape from this so you may as well accept your fate.  I enjoy seeing you squirm, hearing you beg and knowing you are doing this in service to Me.  There is nowhere to go… no where to be… there is only Me.  I am your entire world… your entire Universe… until I choose to let you go.  Nothing else exists but your submission to Me and whatever I choose to inflict upon you.  Do you understand?”

He swallowed, sweat breaking out and glistening on the little blonde hairs on the back of his neck even as he leaned into the pleasure of my touch.

“Yes Mistress”

“Good boy”

I continued the hum of soothing sadistic lyrics, all the while massaging and opening his anal sphincters in preparation for my next little game.  I took my sweet time, allowing his hunger to be penetrated to grow.   I could feel myself entering ‘the zone’ in connection to him.  My words dripping like poisonous honey from my tongue, curling like incense smoke through the air… slipping into his ears and wrapping around his mind…  The wildness of the forest… both Mother and Destroyer entering his body…  The more he unfolded and floated, the more we became in synch…  My breath matching his…

The world disappeared and time became an irrelevant concept.  There was only us in this moment.

He began moaning in need, leaning into my finger in an attempt to get me to enter him.

“You like that don’t you little slave?  I think you want something from me don’t you?”

No words, just moaning…

“Oh you don’t want anything from me?  I guess this is all you will get then,”  I teased.

I pressed against his hole with pleasurable little pulses and waited while he worked through his confusion about how he was supposed to act.

“Yes Mistress, I do, but I am your slave to do with as You will.”

“I like it when you beg like the horny little slut you are, slave”.  I could feel his hope rising… his anticipation of being filled and fucked warring with his embarrassment at being made to speak his desires out loud.

“Is there something you would like from me slave?”  I asked again.

He leaned into me in an attempt to get out of saying the words, trying to show me what he wanted with his body rather than suffering the humiliation of begging.

I stopped all stimulation and stepped back, leaving him bereft of my touch.

“I will only ask you one more time, and if I do not hear what I want to hear then you will miss our entirely.  Now, is there something you want from me slave?”

“Yes Mistress, please fuck me Mistress”.

“Oh you want me to fuck you do you?,” I mocked, as I leaned back in and began to seduce his arse hole again.

“Yes Mistress”

“Well then you had better beg for it my pretty boy.  I do so enjoy seeing a powerful man on his hands and knees, face in the toilet, begging to be sodomised.  Please do entertain me before I get bored and wander off.”

“Please fuck me Mistress, please fuck me up the arse,”  he said, embarrassment and resistance making his voice faint.

“Louder please.  And tell me what a little whore you are.  How you will do anything to please me.”

“I am your little whore, Mistress! Please fuck me up the arse!  I will do anything you say Mistress, please just fuck me!”  he said with more conviction this time.

“Now we are getting somewhere, but I am not convinced yet.  I also want warn you that should I grant you this wish, there will be a price.  There is always a price.  Are you willing to pay it?”

“Yes Mistress!”  he was starting to sound more urgent, “Yes I will do anything you say, I am your little slut, your play thing.  Please degrade me, use me, do as you please to me!  I am yours Mistress.  Please fuck me!”

ginger butt plug, figgingWith a satisfied smirk I slipped the head of the newly carved ginger butt plug  into the opening of his hole and began easing it into him.  The effects of ginger take a while to kick in so at first he just writhed in pleasure, opening himself to me.

“Take a deep breath, then breathe all the way out and push down as though you are trying to push the toy out,” I instructed.  As he obeyed, I felt his sphincters relax and I slipped the rest of the ginger in.  The wide base held it firmly in place so it didn’t disappear altogether. I generously thrust it in and out stimulating his prostate and coating every sensitive area with fresh ginger juice.   He bucked with pleasure… to start with…

Then the burning began…

He became confused as his pleasure turned to intensity.

“Mistress!  It burns!  What is it Mistress?”

“What is it?  It is what I want it to be,”  I replied amused.

He began to writhe with a different kind of urgency now as he struggled to process this new experience.   I strapped the butt plug in place with rope and cleverly positioned knots, stood back, folded my arms and watched.  I was purring like the pussy who got the cream.  I do so love to watch a man struggle until he realises the full extent of his helplessness.

The burning built steadily in strength and with each passing minute his begging for me to remove the ginger increased.  He wriggled and strained against his restraints to no avail.

“Oh does that burn does it slave?”  I asked in mock innocence,  “I did tell you there would be a price didn’t I?  You thought it was all about your pleasure didn’t you slave.  Did you think because you paid a tribute for this session, I was here to get you off?  Actually, you are here to entertain Me.”

The more I mocked the harder his cock became, even as he suffered.  More importantly, his normal mind-state had shifted.  He was no longer dominated by the logical, ‘talking self’ part of his consciousness.  He was drifting into a different place within.

“Yes Mistress, I am Yours to do with as you please,”  he squeaked.

I reached down and pinched his nipple, hard, knowing that he would clench in sudden pain, squeezing more ginger juice out and setting off another level of burning.  I followed this sensation with a mixture of pleasurable cock sensations and volley of hard slaps against his buttocks.   Pleasure, pain, pause….

He grunted, his bottom blossomed with red hand prints and an endorphin rush kicked in moments later.   He was getting close now, I could feel it… close to the edge… he just needed a little shove and he would drop, deep, down into subspace and fly… and I would be right there with him, feeding off his reactions and riding high with my own twisted Top space.

“Oh poor slave, you are burning up.  Would you like me to cool you down?”

I didn’t wait for an answer.   I straddled his head, one leg over each side, my thighs pressing against his ears.

“Tell me again how you are just a thing to be used for my entertainment slave.  Tell me again how you are nothing but a fuck toy.  An object.  Owned body, mind and soul.

“Yes Mistress he cried out, inhibitions abandoned now, “I am everything you say.  I am Yours entirely!”

With that, I reached down, slipped my knickers to one side and spread my pussy lips wide open.  I felt the tingles of rushing energy through my body as the urge to urinate built until I could hold it not longer.  I began to relieve myself on his head…  As I let go of my very full bladder, another, more difficult to define, dam broke within me and I snarled with the pleasure of it. I was all powerful Goddess, marking My territory.  Piss splattered on the plastic wrap, forming yellow pools of urine…  and then showered steadily down through the carefully positioned air holes… pungent streams of piss trickling down his face, drenching him thoroughly…  Wayward rivulets entering the corners of his mouth which he licked at greedily, fully in his animal self now…

That was the trigger we both needed.  I felt his whole energy shift.  He just dropped in utter surrender with me riding his back all the way Home.  A moment of living awareness… of being all that is left when the social scripts and ego illusions are torn away…   Just being pure consciousness flying together in ecstasy.

This was not where we engaged in sexual climax to end the scene… This was just the launching pad…  Just the beginning of our play…

Mistress Artemisia de Vine Sydney Pro Domme AzureAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Domme and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness.  She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevent to their personal journey.  She loves to explore pleasure, the Mysteries of Existence and just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.   She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.  She is at heart, a kinky shadow worker exploring the ways in which owning our dark side can make us whole.

If the link between BDSM and shadow work intrigues you, you may be interested in reading this blog on Conscious Kink and Humiliation Play. 

Website: www.consciouskink.com
Subscribe to mailing list
Follow her on Twitter

 

 

Sep 272014
 

Professional Disciplinarian SydneyPart Two of a spanking story based on a real domestic discipline and corporal punishment role plays I do with some of my clients.  The basic premise of the script is their idea.  They choose to play the errant husband who wants to be punished by their sister-in-law for taking their wife for granted…. Or very similar variations on the same theme…  Contains adult themes, over-the-knee (OTK) bare bottom hand spanking, caning, corner time, behavior correction, humiliation, coercion, sexism and forced cross-dressing.  


Start with PART ONE here: bare bottomed, OTK, hand spanking…

‘Bend over and place your palms flat in front of you Paul,‘  I said pointing to the solidly constructed wooden table.

He appeared to steal himself for what he knew was coming next but to his credit his did not protest.  Perhaps he thought it best to get it over with.  He laid himself over the table, red spanked bottom poking out from under his business shirt and splayed his fingers out in front of him.

I rummaged around in the draw for a moment watching with amusement as Paul’s head cocked to the side trying to work out what I was doing.  He didn’t dare turn around to look.

Eventually I found what I was looking for and hummed to myself as I walked slowly up behind him, black heels clicking ominously on the tiles.  I bent down close so he could feel the warmth of my breath against his ear as I quietly but firmly explained what was going to happen next.

‘See these marbles?’ I asked holding two large, multi-coloured class orbs in front of his face.

‘Yes.’

‘Yes who?‘

‘Yes Ma’am,‘  He quickly corrected himself.

‘That’s better.  I am going to place these on the backs of your fingers,’ I said following through as I spoke, ‘They need to stay there without rolling off while you receive your discipline.  Each time they roll off we will add another cane stroke to your set.  You currently have two sets of 6 to get through.  Do you understand?’

‘Yes Ma’am‘  he said dismayed.

‘Good boy’.

I stood back up and slowly walked around the table and picked up the junior cane.  “We will start with the lighter of the two since this is your first time”, I said bending the flexible rattan for dramatic effect.

I walked back out of his line of sight, each step deliberate and pronounced in the kitchen acoustics.

‘This is going to hurt.  A lot.  You are going to take it like a man because you know you deserve it and you want your wife back.  This is your penance,’ I stated with no room for argument.  ‘How well you do will have a direct effect on what I choose to tell Clara and you know my influence with her is strong’.

I paused to let that sink in.

‘Between each stroke you will breath all the way out and then when you have gained your composure, you will count the stroke and thank me for taking the time to correct your behavior.  You will say, “One thank you Ma’am, Two thank you Ma’am” and so forth.   Is that clear?

‘Yes Ma’am’, replied Paul with no hesitation this time.

‘Good because if you lose count or forget to thank me, we will begin that set again’.

Paul shifted his weight slightly but did not comment.

I lifted Paul’s shirt out of the way and folded it neatly back exposing him fully.  His bare bottom was swollen and red but as yet unmarked in any way that would last more than a few hours.  It was time to correct this.

‘We tend to remember the lessons that are seared into our flesh Paul”, I said  finding my stance and getting the measure of my swing.  I tapped the cane lightly across both cheeks.
Then taking my time, I drew back and sliced through the air with a perfectly placed stroke.   vivid red welt blossoming across his bottom.

Paul’s sharp intake of breath made it clear he felt it.  Every inch of it.  He let his breath out hard and adjusted himself slightly but the marbles stayed balanced on the back of his hands.

“One thank you Ma’am,”  he said with stiff control that clearly took an effort.

I tapped to take aim again and then whoosh, the cane whipped through the air and landed half an inch below the first welt.

“Phewwww,”  he breathed but did not falter.  “Two thank you Ma’am”.
A third, then a fourth stroke biting into his skin and the already tender flesh beneath.  I could see him wincing and clenching his jaw but his hands remained perfectly still.

I laid out two more strokes with artistic precision.  ‘Five thank you Ma’am’  then ‘Six thank you Ma’am’, he managed to make it through the first round.

‘Good boy Paul.  I can see I am starting to get through to you.  Now tell me about what you have thought about.  How are you going to be proactive in making changes dramatic enough to make you worthy of my sister?’

He cleared his throat and offered, ‘I will definitely help more around the house’.

‘Help you say? To say you are helping implies that housework is your wife’s responsibility and you are assisting her in her duties.  That isn’t good enough.  I need you to understand that housework is as much your responsibility as it is hers.  Do you understand?’

‘Right yes, of course, you are right,’ he said hurriedly, realising his mistake too late.

I walked around the table and placed the junior cane down only to replace it with the senior cane.  Let’s mark this new resolution into your flesh with this, the most painful punishment you have received yet,’  I said, completely devoid of emotion. ‘Time you will thank me exactly as before after each stroke but you will also ask for another stroke to show me you are serious about mending your ways.

I found my stance and practiced my aim again while reminding Paul, ‘This stroke is to remind you that until I say otherwise, it is in fact now your duty to ensure the housework is done.  This is to make up for all the years you have taken Clara for granted, you will now take the role she used to take and if you are lucky she may “help” you every now and then.  Just like you used to “help” her.’

Without waiting for him to agree I pulled back my arm and laid a hard fast stroke right across his bottom.  This time, he couldn’t keep silent.  A jagged moan involuntarily escaped his lips and the marbles wobbled dangerously on the backs of his fingers.

It took him several moments before he gathered himself enough to say, ‘One thank you Ma’am, may I please have another?’

I smiled to myself.  Now my methods were really starting to take effect.  ‘Good.  Let’s see what else you have learned.  What else are you going to do to change your behavior?  Make it good.‘

‘Er… I will be more grateful, especially for Clara’s cooking’.

‘Yes you will, and in order to really value the effort put into cooking, you will now cook as often as you expected Clara to for the foreseeable future.  You will even make a special effort to learn great recipes for her favorite dishes and slave away for hours to lay on three course meals for her and her friends to help her socially network.  You can do this on top of your full time job just like Clara used to do for you.  Do you understand?’.

‘Yes Ma’am!‘ he replied unwilling to argue.

‘I will visit unannounced to spot check you cooking is up to scratch’.

The cane whistled through the air and sliced into his bottom with vicious precision.  His body shuddered  under the impact and he eventually whimpered, ‘Two thank you Ma’am! may I please have another?’

‘Good.  Now what else have you learned?’

‘That I mustn’t demand intimate relations‘ he replied.

‘Correct.  After working all day in an office, coming home and doing the cooking and the housework while you rested with your feet up, the last thing a wife wants is intimate relations.  As part of making yourself worthy of Clara you will be signing up to learn the art of female arousal from a practitioner of the erotic arts and you will attend tantra classes together so you can learn how to truly pleasure a woman.  Not just pleasure, but connect to her, because funnily enough, it is not just about you.  May this cane stroke imprint that deeply on your flesh, ‘ I said as I took aim and delivered my hardest stroke yet.

Paul squirmed and let out a cry.  There was a rolling sound and a loud clunk as both marbles fell off his fingers, rolled across the table and skitted onto the tiles with an echoing clatter.  Instead of staying firmly on the table as requested, both his hands were now rubbing his bottom furiously.
‘Forgotten your instructions already I see,‘ I said calmly, hiding my amusement, ‘Both marbles on the floor! Looks like we will have to add two cane strokes to your total for this set, bringing it up to 8.  Six is the traditional number of course.  Just be grateful I am only adding two strokes and not adding two extra sets of six to keep things neat and tidy’.

Paul groaned.  ‘I can’t!’ he said.

‘Well you can stop at any point of course I reminded him, ‘but it would be a shame since you have come so far.  Five more strokes and you will be finished and my sister will consider taking you back.‘

There was silence as he considered this.

‘‘Pick up the marbles Paul,‘ I said with deathly calm.

He looked at me with concern in his eyes but immediately dropped to his knees to search for the glass spheres.  I just watched and waited, arms folded.

Eventually he found them and presented them to me.

This time he bent over the table without being asked.  I replaced the marbles on the backs of his fingers, leaning in close, brushing against him.
‘What else have you learned Paul?’

He was straining to come up with anything now.  His distress was a playing across the theatre of his face.

‘May I suggest that perhaps this cane stroke could remind you not be so consumed with yourself and your work but also make Clara a priority in your life?’

‘Yes, yes of course!‘  he agreed, relieved to be given a clue. ‘I will pay her much more attention and listen to her feelings and all that,‘  he said guessing at what was required of him.

‘Something like that,‘ I replied amused.  ‘You will no longer only think about how Clara plays the support role to your dreams and passions but will actively play the support role to hers.  That means attending her work functions and listening to the things that are important to her.  It also means arranging to take Clara out to the kinds of entertainment she enjoys.  You will be the perfect opera date for her without a hint that you are bored or disinterested.  Is that clear?’

‘Yes Ma’am,‘ he gulped.

I took aim and delivered the next two strokes in quick succession, cruelly on the same spot.  This was a new level of pain for Paul and he reeled but did not slump for shear terror at the prospect of losing the marbles and having more strokes added to his sentence.

“Four and five thank you Ma’am! May I please have another?’

‘Good I thought to myself.  He really must care for my sister after all to endure this to be given a chance to get back together with her.  At his core he wasn’t a bad man.  He was just spoilt.  Luckily for him there is a cure for spoilt.

‘Repeat after me Paul, “Clara deserves to be treated like the Goddess she is!”

Without hesitation he repeated my words back to me and judging by the tremble in his voice, he actually meant it.

‘Good man,’ I said rewarding him by no longer calling him a ‘boy’ in acknowledgement he was now beginning to behave like an adult.

The last three strokes were no less severe but I no longer tormented him with penance.  I delivered smarting blow one after the other giving him just enough time to gasp and thank me.  Six, seven and finally with a solid crack eight.

He let out sob before he could gather himself.  I nodded to myself in satisfaction.  I had made an impression.  Paul’s re-wiring was under way.

I removed marbles from hands and he sat down with a thump only to spring straight back up again when he realised how sore his bottom was.   He attempted to hide the fact that there were tears in his eyes, and discretely blew his nose into a tissue.  I didn’t say a word until he finished and stood uncertainly waiting to be instructed.

‘Paul, I am going to call Clara and have her pick you up.  In the meantime I want to you to put your trousers back on and stand in corner and wait for her to arrive.  I suggest you use that time to think up the very best apology you can muster’.

He looked miserable but bent down to retrieve his underwear obediently.

‘No not those underwear Paul,‘ I said confiscating his cotton briefs, ‘These ones’.  I held up a pair of pink lacy panties.  You will wear nothing but lady’s knickers until you learn to respect femininity.  You will wear them to work under your expensive suits and you will wear them at home as you do the housework.  They will serve as a reminder to self-correct your behavior as out go about your business.’

Paul’s eyes widened in disbelief at this indignity.  He stood there for a moment then reached over and picked up the lingerie I offered him fir thumb and forefinger as though they would burn him.  His face burned with embarrassment and his jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth but he dared not utter a protest.  He slowly bent down and slipped the offending hot pink panties on, pulling them up over his smarting bottom, dressed himself agin in his neat pinstripe trousers and belt and placed himself in the corner.

The image of him standing there, nose to the wall, waiting patiently was the image of an entirely new Paul.  His re-programming was well under way.
***
A week later I spoke to Clara on the phone.  ‘How are things going with Paul?‘ I asked.

‘Amazing! gushed Clara.  ‘I don’t know what you did to him but it has been all flowers, attentiveness ever since he came back from your place.  He cooks *and* does the dishes!  There have been a few small slip ups where he drifted back into his habitual ways but all I had to do was mention that perhaps he needed some more sister-in-law therapy and he pulled himself into line quick smart!  Just goes to show that your unconventional methods really work.’

Professional Disciplinarian SydneyAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based professional disciplinarian pasionate about all things spanking, domestic discipline and corporal punishment.  She is a true switch and plays the role of both Spanker and Spankee.  She specialises in traditional domestic scenes, from the playful to the intense including behavior correction, role play and ecstatic spanking sessions.  See more here…

Sep 272014
 

Professional Disciplinarian SydneyPart One of a spanking story based on a real domestic discipline and corporal punishment role plays I do with some of my clients.  The basic premise of the script is their idea.   They choose to play the errant husband who wants to be punished by their sister-in-law for taking their wife for granted…  or very similar variations on that theme…  Contains adult themes, over-the-knee (OTK) bare bottom hand spanking, caning, corner time, behavior correction, humiliation, coercion, sexism and forced cross-dressing.

‘All of it!’ I said sternly, as he struggled to swallow another large mouthful of gloopy, cold porridge.   Paul, a lean but muscular man in his 40’s, loosened his imported grey & cream silk tie and looked up at me sullenly from his seat at the kitchen table.  He ran a hand through his cropped walnut hair with perfectly manicured fingers and wrinkled his nose in distaste.  He stared up at me, an unspoken protest in his hazel eyes and a crimson frustration on his pale white cheeks but chewed on with silent determination.

Out there, in the corporate world, he was a manager.  He was the type who was so self assured he never questioned his entitlement to bark orders, have others run his errands and to plonk himself down in the most comfortable seat without a thought for anyone else. He was used to having others do as he told them.

Here he obeyed me.  He didn’t dare not to.

‘Fifty chews before each swallow,‘ I ordered him,  ‘I want you to meditate on each mouthful and remember how you got yourself into this situation.’

He sighed heavily but obediently spooned another mouthful of claggy oats into his mouth and began chewing resentfully.   The sound of his rhythmic munching matched the ticking of the gilded clock on the wall above his head.  I counted in a clipped tone to ensure he knew I meant exactly what I had said.  50 chews.  No more, no less.

Two springy rattan canes rested on the bench in front of him reminding him of what was to come.  One junior cane, 8mm in diameter and 60cm long for so-called lighter strokes and one senior cane at 10 mm thick, 80cm long, heavy enough to make a decent impact on the flesh that one would not forget in a hurry.

Paul couldn’t get out of the punishment but how many cuts he received, depended on how well he took the rest of his discipline and how satisfied I was that he had learned his lesson.

I ran my palms down the thighs of my fitted skirt to straighten out imaginary wrinkles, cleared my throat in a prim, lady-like manner and leaned down towards him.  My cream shirt, though buttoned sensibly did little to hide my large round breasts.  Nothing I wore ever managed to hide them.  They just rebelliously protruded with alarming regularity.

‘After each mouthful is swallowed I want you to say, “I will never be ungrateful for my wife’s cooking again”, do you understand me?‘  I ordered in a calm, no nonsense tone.  ‘Your wife has sent you to me to correct the behavior that is destroying your relationship and you will not leave here until I am convinced your behavior is permanently corrected’.

He nodded, chewed for a little longer, swallowed and repeated quietly, ‘I will never be ungrateful for my wife’s cooking again’.

‘Loud and clear please, say it again so I can hear you properly’.

He blushed, an internal struggle on his face as he felt the injustice of his position.

I bent down to pick up the junior cane and flex it provocatively.  ‘It seems you are not taking this seriously Paul.  Perhaps you need six of the best to motivate you?  Stand up, drop your trousers’.

His eyes widened in protest, ‘But I did what you said!’ he complained.

‘Why are you arguing with me?  Is that doing as I say?’ I said with one raised eyebrow.  ‘Need I remind you that you agreed to this Paul?  It is unconventional marriage therapy but extremely effective.  You need to convince me you are thoroughly reformed before your wife, my sister, will take you back.  The more you resist, the longer this will take… and the redder your bottom will be.  I suggest you do not keep me waiting’.

He visibly swallowed the words he longed to say, this educated man used to having his own way…  Used to having female personal assistants do his bidding… Used to taking his wife for granted in a million little ways…

I calmly stared him down until he complied.  He stood up, pushed the wooden chair back making a dramatic scraping sound against the pristine white tiles and began fumbling with the clasp on his back leather belt.

‘Look is this really necessary?  Can’t you just cane me over my pants?‘  his embarrassment at being treated like a naughty little boy causing his voice to crack a little.

‘You do realise that delaying will do nothing to get you out of this Paul?‘ I replied ignoring his discomfort.

He sighed heavily again and removed the belt entirely, folding it neatly on the table  beside him and then when he could find nothing else left to delay the matter, he reluctantly dropped his perfectly creased, pinstriped pants. He stood there looking at me, waiting for his next instruction.

I let the corner of my mouth curl in the hint of a satisfied smile.  I leaned back, arms folded across my breasts and looked at the image before me.  Paul still had his crisp white office shirt and pinstriped vest on, his tie loosened around his neck but his pants made an appealing pool around his ankles and shiny, black polished shoes.  He looked distractingly appealing in those gray cotton briefs.  He was an attractive man.

He would make a beautiful husband for my sister Clara if he could only be taught to respect women.  He was single child whose mother had doted on him and he took his wife’s efforts in their relationship for granted as a result.  His attitude was also causing problems amongst the female staff at work.

What it came down to is that he was spoilt.  I am a firm believer that it is never too late to take a man over my knee and give him a sound spanking.  Strict discipline is thoroughly under-rated in today’s politically correct world.  I had seen my sister suffering in her relationship with Paul and eventually she became so exasperated that she came around to my way of thinking.  We had put our heads together to plot a way to get Paul the behavior correction he so clearly needed.

‘Since this is your first ever corporal punishment experience Paul, we will begin with a thorough hand spanking to warm up your flesh.  This is a kindness on my part for which you should be grateful.

He just stood there silently.

‘When someone is kind to you Paul, it is polite to say thank you’.
He hesitated.

‘Thank you,‘  he mumbled.

‘Thank you who?‘ I asked?

He just looked confused.

‘Thank you Ma’am,‘  I instructed. ‘For the remainder of our time together you will always refer to me as ma’am to remind you of your place’.

‘Yes… Yes, ma’am,‘ he said not sure if I was joking of not.  He would soon discover I was deadly serious.

Fetch me that chair,‘ I said pointing to the one he had previously occupied.

He complied, turning to give me a lovely view of his perfectly formed buttocks as he shuffled across the floor compensating for the fact that his pants were playing the part of shackles around his ankles.

He placed the chair in the centre of the room and stood back to give me access.  His full attention was on me.  This was an improvement from his usual oblivious selfishness.

I, took my suit jacket off and hung it neatly over the back of the chair and sat down, straight backed and proper.  I rolled up my shirt sleeves, adjusted my pearl necklace and slid my skirt up a little to make myself more comfortable.  As I did so, a little more of my nylon clad thighs became visible.  I pretended not to notice and patted my leg.

“Lean over my lap Paul.  Place yourself so your bottom is in easy reach of my right hand’.

‘Yes.’

‘Yes who?‘  I purred dangerously.

‘Yes Ma’am,‘  He quickly corrected himself and awkwardly tried to lay himself over my lap.   I had to grasp his waist firmly and pull him closer to me to ensure he did not fall off.

This is for your own good you know Paul,‘ I said leaning forward and neatly pulling down his underwear to expose his pale round bottom.

‘Now look here,‘ said Paul wriggling himself free and standing up indignantly, ‘ I have agreed to submit to your unusual methods because it is the only way that I can get my wife back, but you are her sister!  My sister in law!  I have to see you at Christmas dinners and social events!  I did not not agree to be humiliated like this!  It is just not right that you pull down my underwear!’

‘You did agree to do whatever it takes to convince me you are worthy of Clara, Paul.  She is my little sister and looks up to my opinion in these matters.  If I tell her you are contrite and truly sorry then she will give you another chance.

However, you are right, you do not have to go ahead.  You can leave at any time.‘  I said picking up my mobile phone and searching for Clara’s number.   I soon found her plump smiling face in amongst my contacts.  Her deceptively cherubic face framed by neat blonde hair tied back in a sensible ponytail.

‘Look!’  I said holding up the phone so he could have a good look at her image.  Her large soft eyes, porcelain skin and impressive cleavage reminding him how much she meant to him.

She was definitely my sister!  We looked very much alike.  We both sported womanly curves, and a mature sort of attractiveness, though I was a little taller and 3 years older.  She was 35 now and running out of time to have children.  She needed  her husband to grow up so he could become good father material.  Something he clearly wasn’t going to be capable of if he was still acting like a child himself.

‘We can video call her right now and tell her you’ve called the whole thing off if you would prefer,’ I said matter-of-fact.

I pressed dial before he could answer and his eyes widened.  The phone took a moment to register and then began to ring.

One… then two rings…

‘No dont call her!  Just give me a minute!  Can’t we be reasonable about this?‘  He pleaded, trousers still around his ankles.

I just continued to hold the phone so he could clearly see it was still ringing while I calmly stared him down.  We both knew she could answer at any second.

‘Ok!  I’ll do it!  Just hang up.  I’ll do as you say.‘  he conceded desperately.

‘Yes you will,’ I smiled smugly, enjoying his consternation, and clicked the red disconnect button with my thumb.  ‘And for making such a fuss I have decided it will be two sets of six cane strokes.  Now quickly, stop wasting my time, bend over my lap’.

‘Yes… Ma’am’, he said remembering the Ma’am part just in time.

I tapped my foot impatiently on the tiles and nodded towards my thighs.  “Assume the position then.  Quick smart.”

He reluctantly complied, a look of disbelief that this was actually happening on his face.

Once he was firmly back in place, I sat there silent for just a moment, letting the anticipation build.  Paul had never been spanked in his life, let alone caned.  I was going to thoroughly enjoy breaking in his virgin bottom.

The stinging slap echoed through the kitchen, bouncing off the neat rows of china dishes and spice jars.   Paul jolted.

I remained silent and waited, letting the sensation sink in…  Letting the uncertainty of my next move build in his mind…

‘How many spanks will there be Ma’am?‘  he asked.

‘I think three rounds of three minutes each.  Each round will get a little firmer than the last until you are well and truly red and sore.  I will see if I think you need more at the end of that’.

‘Is that a lot Ma’am?‘  he asked, trying not to word his question in a way that would not provoke me further.

‘It is a light-average warm up.  Since this is your first time receiving this sort of discipline we will need to see how you bottom responds and proceed accordingly’.

I reached my hand into my jacket pocket, and retrieved an egg timer.  I then leaned down  and placed it in front of Paul on the floor.  ‘When the sand runs out we will stop for a break’.

Slap!  My cupped hand delivered another stinging blow, this time to his right buttock.  My hand print showed red against his snowy cheek.

Slowly at first I delivered a rhythmic succession of firm but not extraordinarily hard thwacks.  First one buttock and then the other… Paul was doing his best to take this alien experience with a manly stoicism.

Smack! Smack! Smack!  I leisurely treated each cheek to equal treatment, pausing between each sharp slap to let Paul fully absorb the sensation.  He took his first ever hand spanking in stiff silence with his eyes fixed on the grains tumbling through the narrow necked egg timer.  Eventually the last granule slipped through and I ceased my first round.

Paul’s muscles relaxed and slumped forward.  I made a mental note.  We would need to work on his posture too but for now he had taken his punishment well.

‘Very good Paul.  We are beginning to get somewhere.  Two more rounds of that and then we will begin in earnest’.

He grunted but did not reply.  I gave his bottom a good rub since his hands were occupied holding himself up.  I generously kneaded for a good minute and then remembering how he had showed so little consideration for Clara, abruptly decided that was enough molly coddling.

‘Ok, now for round two’.

This time I did not wait for him to brace himself.  I just began a steady drumming against his flesh.  Faster this time and quite a lot harder.  He began to curl up on his toes, clench his buttocks and holding his breath but not making a sound.

Amused at his inexperience, I noticed how he was making things more difficult for himself. ‘It will hurt less if you remember to breath and relax your muscles Paul,’ I said over the top of stinging spanks. He didn’t pay any attention, too overwhelmed by the painful indignity he was being subjected to to comprehend what I was saying.  I just shrugged and continued to lay into his pretty flesh.

I steadily built the intensity as the punishment wore on.  By the end of two minutes he was twisting his hips slightly to get away from each blow.  As we got closer to three he began letting out involuntary grunts with each blow.

‘Ten seconds to go I said turning the heat up even further with a volley of smarting spanks.  I heard his gasp and he begin to wiggle as his composure started to slip.

Five more seconds… 4… 3… 2… 1…

His breath was a valve letting out bottled up steam as I stopped hitting him and gave his bottom another rub.  He slumped in momentary relief.

‘Do you remember why you are receiving this discipline Paul?‘
‘Yes Ma’am, for disrespecting my wife Ma’am’.  He said breathing faster than usual.

‘Yes that is correct, what was it you said about her cooking again?‘  I said reaching down into my briefcase and removing a printed out email.

‘I… I can’t remember exactly,’  more than a hint of nervousness in his voice.

‘Let me remind you then shall I?,”  I said using his back like it was my desk.  ‘You said, her champignon chowder was as flavorless as porridge.  Apparently your work colleagues found this rather amusing.  You all got a jolly laugh at her expense after she slaved away over a hot stove all afternoon for you.  Isn’t that right?’

‘Well yes when you put it that way it does sound rather bad.  I was just trying to get a laugh.  Lighten the tension you know.  It was important for the business deal’.

‘Is the business deal so important that you would sacrifice your Clara’s dignity to seal it?‘ I asked deceptively mildly.

‘Ah no, I guess not’.

‘She also has a full time job you know and yet every evening she comes home and cooks dinner for you both while you loosen your belt in front of the TV with your feet on the coffee table.  She goes to all the trouble of cooking a lovely meal for your work colleagues to help you seal the deal you so desperately want and all you can do is humiliate her by publicly making her the butt of a joke.  A joke in poor taste at that.  What do you have to say for yourself?’

‘Well, in my defense it really was a bland chowder,‘  he argued missing the point entirely.

I sighed, ‘ It looks as though I will need to clear my calendar for the rest of the week.  You are such a slow learner that we may need to repeat this process every evening until you finally understand the gravity of your behavior and how it is destroying your marriage’.

‘Look I am sorry.  I do get it.  It wasn’t a nice thing to say.  I will take care not to be so flippant in future,‘  Paul quickly corrected himself.

‘Hmmm… we’ll see,‘ I responded in a voice clearly unconvinced, running my fingers along the fold creases of the email.

It seems this problem is a lot deeper than just one incident though isn’t it.  There is a real pattern of behavior that needs correcting from the foundation up.  Clara has some other complaints.  Let’s see what they are shall we?’

Paul shifted nervously, still awkwardly draped across my lap.

‘1. Laziness at home.

  1. Not following instructions when asked to help
  2. Being ungrateful, especially about cooking
  3. Being too consumed by your work and yourself
  4. Demanding intimate relations

‘My, my Paul, this does seem to be a deep seated problem doesn’t it.  I want to you think about these complaints and how you can improve yourself if you want to ever feel the sweet arms of my sister around you again.  I want to you to think long and hard while you receive your next round of spanking.

Without warning I began to spank him as hard and fast as I could without pause for the next three minutes.  I have a lot of practice correcting the behavior of errant husbands so my arm is quite strong.  This time he soon forgot his dignity and squirmed trying to get away from my hand.  With one smooth movement I adjusted Paul so he was only draped over one thigh while the other stocking-clad leg wrapped over the top of his to hold him solidly in place.  Then I just continued dispassionately, determined to teach him a lesson.

He was really feeling the effects of being reduced to a naughty boy now!  Unable to squirm away and unable to stop moans of pain escaping his lips, he no longer resembled the arrogant man who had earlier entered my kitchen.  He looked like the naughty little boy he was.
Last ten seconds, I said and really drew on my reserves to lay into him.

9…. 8… 7…

Paul grunted with each solid thwack.

6… 5… 4…

I had to really hold him still now…

3… 2… 1…

I stopped as suddenly as I had begun and gave myself a moment to catch my breath.  Paul just lay there panting and limp.  He would have to learn to take his punishment with more dignity in future.

After a moments pause, I untwined my leg from his and helped him up and gave him a chance to rub his own swollen, red bottom this time.  It really was blushing furiously now.  By the look on his face it was really smarting.

I stood up, straightened my skirt and brushed back a blonde curl that had managed to escape my tidy bun.  I stood unimpressed with my hands on my hips waiting for Paul to stop massaging his buttocks and give his attention back to me.

After giving him a moment to orient himself I reminded him, ‘This isn’t over yet Paul.  I want you to sit down and continue eating that whole bowl of cold porridge, meditate on why you are here for 50 whole chews per mouthful and thank me gratefully for feeding you between each bite.  Do you understand?‘

He nodded.  It did seem to be finally dawning on him how serious I was about this.  He went to pull up his pants.

‘uh-uh,‘ I shook my head.  You will remain trouser-less until this ordeal is over.  You may remove your shoes and pants entirely and fold them neatly.

He nodded, defeated and bent down to do as I said.

‘You may put them neatly in the laundry basket for now,‘ I instructed.

He did as he was told.  After placing his belonging neatly in the basket he came back and stood in front of me waiting to be told what to do.  His eyes were fixed on his toes.

‘Good’, I observed to myself,  ‘He is learning to follow instructions’.

‘Sit down Paul, there is still the matter of the porridge’.

He  sat down much more contritely this time, gingerly adjusting his sore bottom on the hard wooden chair and he began to eat.

I stood over him the whole time, watching like a hawk and counting his chews.  ‘You had better make sure you chew exactly 50 times or else I will add extra cane strokes for each chew you miss,‘  I threatened.

Glumly he continued, completely focused on getting it right.  “Thank you for the porridge Ma’am.  I will never be ungrateful for my wife’s cooking again,’ he parroted at the end of each swallow.  I was starting to believe it was sinking in.  However there were other items on that list of complaints from Clara so this was far from over yet.

Eventually he gulped down the last bit of porridge and I allowed him a glass of water.  He even thanked me without being asked to.  A definite improvement.

‘Now we are going to move onto the actual punishment Paul, I said eyeing the canes.

SEE PART TWO HERE…

Read other spanking and discipline stories here including: Ella is Taught a Lesson in Lady-like Behaviour: Punished by her half sister.

Professional Disciplinarian SydneyAbout the Author:  Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based professional disciplinarian & switch passionate about all things spanking, domestic discipline and corporal punishment.  She is a true switch and plays the role of both Spanker and Spankee.  She specialises in traditional scenes, from the playful to the intense including behavior correction, role play and ecstatic spanking sessions.  See more here…

Sep 112014
 

 

racist request number blockedMy beautiful colleague and fellow sex worker, Amber, received this enquiry today.  As you may guess from the context of the enquiry, Amber is black.  It made her feel ill.

If you have trouble reading the image, it says:

“Say 7:30-8pm for an hour/two depending on if you do doubles, black slave white masters role play etc with two handsome/physically fit white south Africans :)”

It is just wrong on so many levels. Fractally Wrong.  It is hard to know where to start!

However, when I finally I stopped fuming on Amber’s behalf, it did get me thinking about how to go about power exchange play within the context of a society rife with systems of privilege.  How do we negotiate our forbidden fantasies while also taking into account issues of racism, sexism etc?  Whether you are approaching a sexuality professional or a personal lover, these things bare weighty consideration and clearly folk like the above punters need lessons!

Many people excuse this sort insensitive sexual request by saying “Oh, it is only a fantasy”.

NewTrayLet me say, I’m a  professional dominatrix and switch so you better believe I role-play all sorts of politically incorrect fantasies.  I’m no prude when it comes to going hard to wrong-town and getting my freak on.  I honestly believe that when approached with awareness, sensitivity and consent, living out our forbidden fantasies can be deeply healing, not to mention superbly hot!

I would never, ever send a text like that casually asking for a racist session!

That said, some people, who are subject to real life racism, do in fact choose to live out eroticised versions of their pain.  I know because they have approached me.  So let us explore more appropriate ways of going about it.

Our amazing psyches erotise real life wounds and trauma in an attempt to transmute pain into pleasure.   When we do this consciously it can be empowering.  It can be a journey into owning our erotic shadows and making them work for us.

FurnitureFor example, it is very common for people to have sexual fantasies about being degraded or used… yet they do not really want to be degraded or used outside of a sexual context…  It is very well documented that lots of people enjoy rape fantasies but most definitely do not really want to be raped for real…

Some men enjoy having the size of their cock mocked in an erotic role play sense and yet in real life want their cock appreciated and admired…  Many women enjoy being called a slut or a whore during sex but in every day life hate being sexually harassed on the street or slut-shamed for expressing their sexuality…

You get the picture.  We often erotise what which hurts us the most.  The reasons for this are too complex to go into fully here, although if this topic interests you, you may enjoy this blog.

With this in mind,  I believe consensual, race-based, power exchange role play has its place.  It is possible to make the conscious choice to explore this aspect of the human psyche with willing participants.

However,  it is essential to do this in context.  We are living in a society where racism is insideously ever-present yet seemingly invisible to those on the privileged end of the race spectrum.   Race-based role play is situated deeply in systemic-level pain that is oh so real for the individuals within it.  Basically, racism is real kids and we need to take that into account.

 

On this day in 1957, 15-year-old Elizabeth Eckford encountered an angry mob when she attempted to enter Little Rock Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas

On this day in 1957, 15-year-old Elizabeth Eckford encountered an angry mob when she attempted to enter Little Rock Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas

It is very dicey for the for the party who comes from the benefiting side of racism to initiate this kind of play.   It is just astoundingly inappropriate for a white person to approach a person of colour randomly by text and ask them with no preamble or sensitivity!  This sort of request could be soul-crushingly offensive to someone who is already suffering.

Not everyone who has experienced racism is going to erotise it just like not everyone who has genuinely been oppressed for being a sex worker is going to eroticse being called a whore…  and not every man who has felt pain at the size of their cock will get off on being humiliated by it…  We all have different coping mechanisms.

But for those who do process racism by eroticising it, like all power-based sexual fantasies, it can be hugely hot and healing if initiated by those on the oppressed side of the coin… While race play is not my personal turn on, I’ve had clients request this of me and we had immensely powerful sessions together that have left us both stunned at how positive the outcome can be when done right!  However, they approached me and I provided the safe space for them to explore what they needed to.

If those on the privileged side of racism do initiate race play,  they damn well better have a thorough understanding of racism and be consciously doing everything possible to be sensitive about it… and actively contributing to a world without racism… They better have an openly stated intention to explore their own role in systems of privilege too otherwise they are just reinforcing the status quo. 

 

The enquiry Amber received is a yet another unconsciously racist micro aggression that Amber has to put up with.

Oww_Papercut_14365Micro aggressions are like a death of a thousand papercuts.  They are just a momentary wince, but to be on the receiving end of them day after day after day, it leaves your psyche a bloody pulp.  After years of this, yet another paper cut is enough to make you scream! 

 

everyday-sexism-bookIt is a similar story with gender-based power exchange  in sexual role play. Those that are on the benefiting side of sexism, damn well better be aware of it and be sensitive about it before approaching those that are oppressed by it.  Especially if asking them to play the role of sexual submissive, engage in sexist dirty talk or enact sexist stereotypes.

 

ilovelucyspankingThis isn’t just relevant for overt kinky role plays.  This is relevent for sex between non-kinky heterosexual couples too.  It pays to get active consent before assuming that is your job to take the lead for instance…

I am a Switch.  That means sometimes I take the dominant role and other times I take the submissive role in my kink play.   When I sub I sometimes like to live out sexist fantasies.

Sometimes I really get off on being called a slut or a whore or being ordered into my place.  Sometimes I like having my power taken away and being told what to do.  Sometimes I like overtly sexist banter while I am bent over someone’s lap and thoroughly spanked…

The truth is,  sexist power exchange is one of my hottest turn ons!  It is also one of my most painful realities as I am on the receiving end of sexist micro-aggression after sexist micro-aggression on a daily basis.  This stuff is genuinely wounding me in real life.

This means that I only feel safe and healthy playing these games if my male play partners are not blind to their gender privilege and if they approach me in such a way that shows respect and asks consent.  No leaping in there assuming because they have a cock and I have a pussy, they are going to take the lead in the sexual dance!

Privilege systems are complex and can work the other way too.  Many men prefer their lovers (of any gender) to take the lead but patriarchal themes make them feel ashamed of this.  Sexism has negative effects on pretty much everyone.  However for now I’ll stick to my main point.  That is, if you belong to the gender who only got the vote less than a century ago, it can feel really invasive to have someone from the gender who has had the vote for centuries, assume power over you.

Unfortunately we live in a world that is still full of unconscious gender and race privilege.  It’s in the very walls of our institutions.  Centuries of sexism and racism don’t just go away.  We’ve come far, and I’m proud of us for that, but we still have a big old hang over to deal with and privilege systems are still very much a problem.

ending racism So how do we go about setting up power exchange play in a healthy way when privilege is involved?

To do systemically privileged power play well, it is best to start by demonstrating your awareness of the issues when approaching a potential play partner.  Show, don’t tell them, that you understand the issues around power imbalance and empathise with their experiences.  

If you don’t have a clear understanding of these issues then damn well put in the time and effort to research it.  It’s time for some self-examination and education!  Make it clear to your potential partner-in-crime, you want to go about this play in ways that lead to less sexism and racism in the world.

gender equalityOnce trust is established and you have agreed to play, it is important to put systems in place to make a healthy outcome.

Personally I have a thorough pre-play consultation to establish boundaries and intentions together and put safe words in place to stop the action if things get too raw.   I also factor in a healthy de-brief and integration period afterwards.  Nothing rushed.

I arrange for aftercare where love and genuine respect is shown to all parties.  We may have been really mean to each other during sexy play times so this is important to bring things full circle.   Keeping in contact for several days afterwards is part of the process as these things can unfold for some time.

Participants may need to talk about how the play effected them in the context of every day lived experiences of racism or sexism.  Listening with presence and full attention is the way to go.  Having our voice heard by those who benefit from privilege systems is a huge part of healing.  It then allows space to hear how these systems are actually hurting everyone.  It helps us become a team working for mutually beneficial outcomes.

I also like to put in place a plan for how to handle things if any trauma buttons get inadvertently pushed mid-play.  In the rush of fight, flight, freeze or emotional melt down it helps to have tools prepared to manage the situation.  This can include agreeing to use safe words, communicating what is going on for you and then, if appropriate,  just holding each other tight while breathing slow conscious breaths until the emotion has moved on and we are calm enough to work through it… or keep playing as it appropriate…

It may sounds like I take the magic out of the play by doing all this but actually the opposite happens.  Once there is a safe container established, we are free to push each other deep into areas of play that otherwise wouldn’t be possible.  With the safety of trust, respect and big-hearted intention towards each other, we can create the space to fly!

When approached consciously, kinky power exchange play can lead us home to wholeness in ourselves in the most unexpected ways.  Perhaps even help heal racism and sexism overall.  Society is after all, made up of us.   Microcosm/macrocosm.  Dealing with the big problems as they appear in miniature versions in our personal relationships may be the only real way to make a difference.

Artemisia de Vine

Artemisia de Vine

About the Author: Artemisia de Vine is a professional dominatrix, switch, sex worker and practitioner of the conscious erotic arts based in Sydney, Australia. Described as elegantly perverted,  she sports a greedy appreciation for the full spectrum of human sexuality, from the sensual to the elaborately kinky.   She is passionate about helping people explore their unique erotic wiring through play sessions.  She approaches sexuality as a form of self discovery with the potential for great pleasure, connection, personal transformation and most of all, fun!

Website: Conscious Kink:

Follow her on Twitter:          Subscribe to Mailing List

 

Sep 082014
 

Artemisia nude submissive CKThe truth is, life is hard. Keeping busy and fucking casually for our dopamine hit is just another numbing drug. It doesn’t work. Another distraction… The core self will feel the misalignment… The lack of meaning and purpose… We just keep finding more extreme sexual conquests and activities to keep the pain stuffed in its box.

I can’t play that game.

My invitation as a BDSM specialist, as a whore… and as a lover… is to open deeply, bravely, richly to all that is. My role is guide and playmate in engaging with sexuality, from the sensual to the kinky, as a means of exploration not escapism. Peeling back the masks and layers… Discovery of self, of each other… Of this whole damn, wonderfully messy, being alive business… We can use our sexuality to create something beautiful and meaningful.

That’s my offering to the world and the only thing I can see worth dedicating myself to.  If this resonates with you I invite you to come sexplore with me.

HeelsAbout the author:  Artemisia de Vine is a practitioner of the Conscious Erotic Arts and has a greedy appreciation for the full spectrum of human sexuality, from the sensual to the kinky.  She specialises in Conscious Kink and BDSM but is also very well known for her conscious sexuality, erotic massage and escort sessions.

For BDSM and kink sessions see here.

For Conscious sexuality, erotic massage, escort sessions see here.

Join Mailing list or follow on twitter.

Jun 052014
 

dominatrix strap on 1Anal play and, in particular, pegging, is such a popular session!  After all it is one of the best ways to access the male G spot.  Who would want to miss out on that?

Over the years working as a professional dominatrix I’ve become experienced in anal play on men from finger to fist and everything in between.  There are many ways in which to approach anal play.  However, it is not just the toys we use or which anal techniques we’ve learnt but also the attitude with which we approach a play scene that makes the experience full of fireworks.

CDR457840 digital rectal examEach of us has unique erotic wiring, so it is important to go about pegging in a way that taps into your core erotic themes.  It’s no good being all sensual if you are turned on by the idea of being ravished and taken by a dominant woman… Likewise, it is no good being ordered into a degrading position if you are the type who needs seductive coaxing…  Is being pegged a reward or punishment for you?  A sensual connection or a degrading sex act?   Is it a power game or  the expression of equal lovers?  One person’s turn on is another’s trauma so it is an important part of the consent process to discuss this before you play.

To help you ask for what it is you really crave, I have put together some of the more popular scenarios that get my boys excited to bend over for me.  It’s far from an exhaustive list but covers some of the main fantasy  and play styles.  Which one are you?  Are you a combination of several of these?  What key themes do you  need in order for pegging to work for you?

beginner strap onAdded Spice with all Things Nice:

Key themes: Added Sensation, experimentation, Curiosity

This style is for those who are new to exploring anal play and pegging.   This type of player usually does not want to make pegging the entire focus of the session but treat it like an added spice to their main meal to give it a bit of kick.  These types tend to be more sexual rather than BDSM-focused.

Works well with:  Single digit Prostate massage, small training dildo or vibrator, sex

tantra dildoSensual Surrender:

Key Themes: Intimacy, Connection, Sensuality, Opening, Surrender, Ecstasy, Erotic Trance

Not everyone who likes to receive the attentions of my strap on is into being dominated or degraded.  (For those that do like it dirty or all about power and control, scroll on down. Your type is here too).  Anal play can be a deeply sensual, profoundly receptive experience.  To have someone enter your body with fingers or toys is to surrender and open in a way that is hard to describe.  People into this style of pegging often respond well to a full body sensual seduction first to help drop them down into a floaty aroused state.  An extended external anal massage and teasing session helps relax and arouse… preparing the body for penetration.

When its time to begin, we start gently with a single finger, loosening the anal sphincter muscles.  Pegging is never forced.  We wait until the anus invites my dildo in.  We synch rhythms through music and by tuning into what their body is ready for.   Staying deeply relaxed can make way for male G spot orgasms.  For sensual peggers, it’s about taking the time to truly sink into and open to the experience.   There are two main sub categories amongst the Sensual Surrender Types.

intimacy strap on sex2Sensual Intimacy Types:  It is important to note that some of the Sensual Surrender types will be seeking intimacy and connection while others are going into a sort of erotic trance inside themselves.   Those that seek intimacy usually seek eye contact and often enjoy being placed on their back with their legs in the air and being “made love to”.    Supportive leg harnesses and slings can help them relax their legs and therefore anal sphincters while holding this position.

My lovers bottomSensual Erotic Trance Types: are those who like to close their eyes and become completely overwhelmed by the sensations.  They go somewhere inside themselves. For trance types the play style is about facilitating surrender much like a massage therapist.  This kind of experience is about being embodied  and it helps if they feel held and supported so they can let go and submerge themselves in the experience.   This allows the trust needed for them to drop down deep.  It can be quite distracting to try to use intimacy or fantasy when they are in this state.  It can snap them right out of the embodied erotic bliss.   It always pays to negotiate what your intention is for the play session so you are not pulling in different directions.

Works well with: a full body massage, sensation play, feathers, silk scarves, blindfolds, essential oils, tantric breathing and trance techniques, sex slings, supportive foot/leg harnesses.

dominatrix strap on 2Dominatrix Dick:

Key themes: Domination, Control, Fear, Intimidation, Submission, Sadism, Masochism

For some pegging is about being dominated.  The thought of a woman with an intimidating strap-on standing over them, ordering them to bend over and spread their butt cheeks gets them immediately hard…  Or teetering on subspace…  For some this style of play is about being sexually turned on and for others it is purely an act of submission.  It’s very important to communicate which of these you are.  The more information you give your Domme about how you are wired, the more fun she can have manipulating you in ways that suit her…  And this type of session is all about what She wants…

These types often respond well to waiting on their hands and knees, ready to obey their Domme’s every word.    The scene here is about having their boundaries pushed and offering up their vulnerable asshole to please their Mistress.  She makes them take more than they thought possible.  Being a little (or a lot!) afraid of what she will do next is big part of it.  Anal play may be seen as a punishment or a reward in these play scenes. Those into Dominatrix Dick often respond well to being called “slave”. Use safe words in this role play to stop the scene if necessary.

Works well with: Bondage, Punishment, Intense Sensation Play, Fisting, Footing, Butt plugs, Enemas, Prostate milking, Figging, Electric Play, Proctoscopes, Anal hooks.

strap on big blackRavished  Rear End:

Key Themes:  Being Desired,  Taken, Overpowered

For some pegging is about being ravished and taken.  It feels good to be the object of desire and see the urgent need in your lover’s eyes.  It can feel great to be the one being “done to” rather than the one “doing” for a change.  While in real life, no one wants to be raped, it is a very popular role play fantasy to be “forced” to receive the very pleasure we secretly want.   This can take the form of being “forced”  to be penetrated with primal lust.  Perhaps they are made helpless with bondage or perhaps mind games allowing  that psychologically dominate  them to allow themselves to be used for someone else’s animalistic pleasure.

It is important to consent to this in a clear discussion beforehand and to utilise safe words should you need to stop the scene.  A safe word is a word used to stop all activity and check in to see what is wrong.  Safe words are vital in this situation because the person being ravished may want to role play protesting by saying “No, please don’t do it to me!”  and “But you are so big! I’m so scared”  or various other forms of protests.  If you have a safe word,  the ravishing can proceed with the creative gusto and all involved can sink right into the role play without fear they are actually causing harm.

Works well with: Restraint, Mixture of Rough and Sensual play, Erotic Play, Head fucking.

strap on harness 6Reluctantly Naughty:

Key Themes: Naughtiness, Dirtiness, Seduction, Forbidden Fruit, Manipulation, Submission, Coaxing, Nurturing, Control

These players enjoy the fact that anal play is still considered taboo and dirty.  They enjoy the feeling of  “wrongness”  and of  being coaxed and seduced into doing something wicked.   Some like to protest and play innocent but have someone else tease and coax them into giving up their vulnerable hole to be penetrated.   It is a form of submission and control through a mixture of authority and seduction.  Again safe words are a very good idea so you know when the reluctance is play acting and when it is real.

Works well with: Role Play, Age play, Teacher/school student, Boss/employee, Baby sitter/teenaged boy, Hot neighbor caught you peeping through her window and has decided to have her way with you or she’ll dob you in… You get the idea…

squirting strap onSlutty Toy :

Key Themes: Degradation, Being Used, Humiliation, Objectification, Domination and Submission

This style is for those who are turned on by feeling erotically used and degraded.   Picture all the stereotypes of the slut or the whore being used for another’s pleasure.  Of course I am far too sex-positive to really believe those stereotypes but it can be hot to tap into that archetype in role play.   Slutty toys often like being on their hands and knees being trained to deep throat and having their holes stretched by dildo after dildo in by ever increasing size.  These types can enjoy being trained to take whatever Mistress pleases in whatever way she likes.  Some times this can include either fantasising about or actually getting extra people of various genders to join in the fun.

Works well with:  Gang Bangs, Slut training, Exhibitionism, Forced Bi scenarios, Glory Holes, Butt plugs, Spit Roasting

sissy slut strap onThe Sissy Slut

Key Themes: Gender fucking, Being Desired, Feminine, Submissive, Degradation, Feeling Exposed, Vulnerability, Used, Objectification

This is for those who enjoy playing with gender.  It is very common to draw on traditional (and out-dated) ideas about what makes someone masculine and feminine  and swap them around.  Again, I do not believe these stereotypes are how we really are but they are nontheless super hot to mess around with in role play.

Sissy sluts revel in the opportunity to let all their suppressed “feminine” attributes to come out.  Cross dressing is a big part of this one.   “He” becomes “she” and our sissy glories in being a degraded and used sex object in frilly knickers, fishnet stockings and smeared red lipstick.  She can be re-named something like “Fee Fee” or “Trixie Belle” and taught to parade around seductively in high heels and a wig.

Being feminine is equated with being a submissive, objectified, sexually used, slutty, whore being made to get in various humiliating positions and perform sexual services for their Mistress’ entertainment.  In this version of the game our sissy slut’s cock becomes a “clitty” and her asshole becomes her “pussy”.

This can sometimes include a third person (either male or trans) to train the Sissy in real-life forced-bi scenarios.  The sissy may not actually be attracted to men at all but is turned on by being forced to perform the slutty acts in order to please Mistress.  Oral sex, deep throating, being anally penetrated.  In this instance the Mistress’ pegging may be preparation… A training tool so that the sissy can take cock.

Works well with: Role Play, cross dressing, sissy slut training program, forced bi scenarios, golden showers, squirting dildos, begging, gang bangs, glory holes, forced masturbation, edging and so much more.

sweet strap onSweet Gender Bender:

Key Themes: Desired, Femininity, Innocence, Sensuality, Playful Connection, Receptive, Sexual Awakening

Like the sissy slut, this scenario is about a man taking on a feminine archetype  through cross dressing and play acting traditional feminine roles.  However this is not a sexually degrading version of femininity but an innocent version.  Cross dressing in this instance reflects this girlish innocence in whites and pinks, ribbons and frills.

Sweet Gender Bender types often respond well to a “girls night in” role play where they hang out with their strap-on wearing girlfriend.   They play around together getting dressed up, doing each other’s hair and make up, drinking champagne, dancing to music and talking about boys.  It turns into a lesbian encounter where the innocent crossdressing girl is seduced by her girlfriend.

Again our gender bender’s penis becomes her “clitty” and her asshole becomes her “pussy”.  She enjoys the process of being spoken to in all the feminine terms; “Put your sweet little hands on my cock and give it a massage…” and “Let me see your cute little panties, do they match your bra?”  “You look so pretty tonight, that lipstick suits you…”  There is a lot of flouncing in this sort of pegging scene.  Penetration is usually on her back with her legs spread.

Works well with Role Play:  Kissing, Cross dressing, Sexy Dancing, Exhibitionism,  Erotic Teasing, Sensuality, Fashion Parade and Photoshoot

There are of course more styles than this.  We are complex creatures so you may or may not fit neatly into any of these categories.  However, this is an excellent starting point to work out what style of pegging is for you.

Artemisia de Vine

Extended Anal Training Program:
While a single play session is of course possible and pleasurable, for anal enthusiasts and those keen to explore deeper, I am offering an Extended Anal Training Package.

Anal sphincters become more flexible with training just like doing yoga makes our bodies more flexible.  It really helps to have an experienced anal expert guide you through an anal training program to discover all the nuances possible.  G spots aren’t always the obvious turn on of the cock or clitoris.  Male G spot can be  illusive, just like the female G spot.    It takes time, practice and patience to discover  just what kinds of  pleasure are possible through anal play but as many anal enthusiastc can attest, once you have accessed this kind of pleasure  it can be full body bliss.

I approach anal training as far more than just phsyically training your hole.  It is a mind, body and sometimes heart and soul journey of self discovery.  It is very much about the places we go inside ourselves during play as well as the physcial acts themselves. You can learn to use erotic embodiment practices to drop deeper into your bodies.  This enhances subspace and/or erotic states of consciousness taking play to the next level.  For those keen to see just what is possible I offer the opportunity to be guided down the anal rabbit hole.

Each package takes into account what style of anal player you are… For those into sensual anal play, the program will have a sensual focus.   For slaves types, you will be put through a vigorous anal training process under Mistress’s eagle eye and strict regime.  It is a journey into submission as much as discovering the joys of your ass.  For sissy sluts, there is a slut training regime… You get the picture…

Each Package includes:

  • Four x 2hr in-person play and training sessions
  • Journal keeping
  • Homework tasks that include training, play and education
  • Reporting back at set times
  • Integration processes

Read more about this program, the author, Sydney-based Mistress Artemisia de Vine, and other kink style sessions available here.   Contact her here.

Please note that this blog entry and all other writing on my website is copyright and cannot be reproduced without my express written permission.

 

 

May 272014
 

HeelsAre you a submissive who is turned on by the idea of handing control of your erections and orgasms over to a powerful, seductive, dominant woman?   Does it arouse you to fantasise about having someone else torment you, force you to in a state of heightened arousal while denying release?  Edging you close again and again but never letting the wave break?  Torture you with erotic tasks to do during your day to remind you of your place…  Remind you who owns your cock…  Guiding you physically and psychologically deeper and deeper  into states of submission as you offer your sexual energy in sacrifice to your Goddess?

chastity 4Are you also interested in the erotic states of consciousness that are possible through the tantric practice of non ejaculatory arousal?  Then you may be interested in exploring this combination through an indepth, month long tantric chastity experience offered below.

This practice is not only a great turn on but is potentially a richly rewarding practice that can take you to ecstatic, erotic states of consciousness not reached in any other way.

chastity 5In tantra, taoist practices and other traditions that intentionally explore erotic states of consciousness, non ejaculatory sex is sometimes practiced, especially amongst those with male arousal systems.

At first this may seem like you are denying yourself the best part of sex.  However once you learn the practices, you discover that letting go of goal oriented (orgasm focused) sex and/or kink, you can enter into incredible levels of arousal and states of consciousness you never thought possible! Far from missing out on pleasure, you gain so much more. 

chastity 3It is the path less travelled because it takes delayed gratification and most people don’t have the self discipline to move from their habitual way of doing things.  

That is why it is very effective to hand over control of your orgasms to a Dominatrix trained in the tantric arts. Chastity and/or orgasm denial really appeals to those who are turned on by power exchange.  Add some tantric training to the mix and the whole thing is taken up several notches. 

Chastity and/or orgasm denial can end up being not only super hot submission, but also a path of self discovery and indeed even a spiritual practice.

BustierCHASTITY PACKAGE
I offer a Chastity Package that gives you the opportunity to fully submerge yourself in this experience for a month.  It is an opportunity to both play and learn skills.   It is a journey into the self through submission.

This package includes four x 2hr in-person sessions. Each session is approximately 1 week apart  and is a mixture of play and learning skills.  

keyholdingEach session includes:

  • Personalised consultation to tailor the journey to your unique experience and erotic wiring.
  • Play time being tormented by my wicked mind and considerable skill…  Personalised guidance into deeper submission.
  • Learning tantric skills to ride your chastity and deepen your devotion and the erotic states of consciousness possible.
  • Key holding if/when appropriate.
  • De-brief

etiquette Homework:

  • Keeping a journal of your experiences that must be emailed to me at set times.
  • Tasks to do during your week to keep you aroused and in a state of submission.
  • Daily tantric practices to develop skills you can use for the rest of your life.
  • Reading material to support your learning and deepen your experience.

Online versions of this are also possible by Skype if you are not local to Sydney, Australia.

Chastity Devices:
Should we agree to use a chastity device, you will need to provide your own.  Each body is unique so different devices will work better for different people.  Here is a handy article to help you decide which devise is best for you. Key holding (where you are locked in a chastity device and I hold the key) is part of this scenario for many submissives.

Fee: $2200

Extras available: Depending on what we agree to and how you are wired, cuckolding sessions may be arranged as part of this package.  An extra fee will be negotiated for this fantasy to become your reality.  

Other packages available include:

*Anal Training

*Sissy Slut Training

*Slave Training

*Tantric Impact Play Package

* More coming soon so join my mailing list to keep informed.

Mar 052014
 

Artemisia de Vine conscious kink logoDe Vine by name and divine by nature.  I believe each form of life has the spark of divinity within them and I am no exception.  Neither are you.  I identify as a Goddess of conscious kink.  I have a Goddess persona.

In this persona I am deliberately playing with gendered archetypes.  The truth is anyone of any sex or gender can tap into these archetypes and have a powerful experience.  We all contain within us the full spectrum of possibilities.  My intention here is to draw out these aspects of myself and embody them so that you can have a chance to explore your relationship to them.  I become the mirror you can consciously interact with.

Like the Goddesses of myth, I have many forms and tap into many universal archetypes… Mother, Destroyer, Nurturer, Devourer, Queen, Siren, Seductress, Leader, Warrior, Demoness, Maiden… the moods of the sea… Your greatest ecstasy and your worst nightmare.   The holy grail.

A Goddess knows she does not have to be hard to be powerful and takes her pleasure as she pleases. She doesn’t fit neatly into categories like dominant and submissive… straight or gay… dark or light… vanilla or kink… She has a greedy appreciation of the lot.  She accesses the full spectrum of archetypes consciously and can use any colour on the personality palette to weave her play scene or ritual.

 websitebackground0.gifA Goddess of Conscious Kink is Sex, Death and Rebirth in all its cycles.

How do you feel when you think of these archetypes?  Are you humbled and want to worship her in reverence and awe?  Do you feel helpless like a small boat on the angry sea?  Do you feel the urge to control her?  Punish her?  Beg for her attentions or mercy?  What if we could consciously create a space where we could explore all of those aspects in erotic role play?  What if we could be truly honest about the complex relationship we have to these archetypes and explore the different forms they take through kink play… power play… sadomasochism… sensuality?

In my Goddess persona, I create spaces for people who want to encompass, express and experience the full spectrum or a specific aspect with awareness.

 

Artemisia de Vine antique queen final kinklogoHow is a Kinky Goddess Session Different to a Typical Dominatrix Session? 

The main difference is the intention behind the session.  We intend to consciously explore archetypes of gender,  power and desire in a slightly different way than traditional Mistress sessions.

There is nothing at all wrong with traditional Mistress sessions and I offer those too.  If that is more to  your taste then see here…

Goddess sessions tend to be more ceremonial in nature and allow for more conscious exploration of the esoteric aspects of kink, BDSM and beyond.  It  works really well with tantric techniques, ritual, Goddess worship, pain, ordeal,  initiation, role play, psychodrama, sensory deprivation, physical restriction, service ceremonies and conscious erotic shadow exploration.  I am adept at designing and creating Conscious Kink rituals to really explore the potential of our erotic shadow.

While any variety of traditional BDSM activities can be included in these sessions, they are approached with a different flavor… more mindful… more focus on states of consciousness… a clear intention for the session…connecting to  and exploring our whole selves during play, including mind, body, spirit.

Each session is negotiated  and designed individually depending on the intent and purpose.

Read more about Conscious Kink here… 

 

diamond pussy CK logo2Can you give me examples of some sessions?

A great example is the Goddess Worship Ceremony.   This session suits those that are aroused by and/or drawn to being in worshipful service. It is an opportunity to mindfully enter into a state of being that allows you to feel the honor of worship with a meditative attention to detail and an embodied awareness of every exquisite and/or excruciating moment.  For the length of the session I become your entire world.  Everything else falls away.  There is nothing but your complete service to me.

We begin with you naked before me and I guide you into a mindful state of being through breath, ceremony and deliberate symbolic acts.  I have you reverently bathe my feet with warm scented water… teaching you exactly how to touch to give, not to take… teaching you how I wish to be served… As you enter deeper and deeper into the state of worship, recognising and honoring the divine spark in me… surrendering and letting go… opening deeper and deeper… you are gradually allowed to earn the right to bathe more and more of my body…

Once you have entered the right state and I am happy with your touch, you are instructed how to use your mouth in worship… until you are in full service to every nook and cranny I desire… for as long as I desire…

For some people this remains a sensual worship… some are honored with the privilege of drinking the Goddess’s golden nectar…  For others it becomes an ordeal where they feel used…  perhaps restrained… having their face sat on while the Goddess is indifferent to their efforts to please her… Perhaps in your fantasies The Goddess is cruel, forcing you to worship with no concern for your comfort or desire… or perhaps she is motherly and nurturing… or seductively dangerous and in control… Perhaps a regal queen…  All this is negotiated.  We deliberately access the aspects we both agree to explore.

TraySadomasochist Goddess Ceremony Perhaps you are more of a masochist and desire to feel helpless while offering up your pain as an act of worship to the Goddess?  CBT? Bondage? Caning? Flogging? Nipple torture?  If so you will also be guided into an mindful state where you use each breath to offer up your pain in sacrifice.  You have the opportunity to dedicate your session to a specific intention should you choose.  Again the session here is focused very much on accessing certain states of embodied consciousness.   

FurnitureSwitch Power Play and Role Play Ceremony Perhaps you are more suited to a scenario where you explore your relationship to the Goddess through role play and power play… Perhaps you are in control or perhaps I am…  Maybe we switch… What attitude towards the Goddess are you drawn to explore?  Are there aspects of humiliation and degradation?  Of forcing desired acts?  Do you want to explore age play?   Or other themes of power and desire?

Again this is clearly negotiated and entered into with awareness.  We have a clear beginning and end and bring it all back full circle to mutual respect at the end.  It is a chance to let ourselves fully enter into a particular role and experience “what is” for the agreed span of time.  This can be very powerful not to mention seriously hot! 

Mistress high heelsAre you the Goddess? Perhaps you want to explore drawing on the Goddess archetypes within you?  In this session you would be guided into a deep experience of drawing out the chosen archetype within you by using some simple but very powerful, guided, mindful, embodiment exercises.  Once you are deeply in your persona we can explore erotic and/or power play together in that state.  Perhaps through being the slut, the object of objectification, degradation, desire or just feeling the joy of sensual satins on your skin by wearing clothes traditionally seen as feminine… What would it be like for you to be worshipped or reviled as Goddess?  So many possibilities!

These are just a few examples of how a Goddess session could look.  Each session is designed around the unique wiring of both of us.  We find where we overlap and agree on an intention and work out a scenario from there.

 

Do I have to be religious or new age to benefit these sessions? 

Absolutely not!  I do not impose my beliefs on you.  You do however need to be drawn to a session where the spark of life within each or us is seen as something worth honoring.  From there we can design a session around your particular worldview and intentions taking into account your personal boundaries and beliefs.  However these sessions do tend to appeal to those who are into yoga, meditation and appreciate the mind, body, spirit connection.  They suit those who enjoy the journey of deep self discovery and connection.

 

dominatrix cropped textWhat about chakras and energy work?

Yes I believe in these things and am experienced in using them in a kinky context.  We can include this side of things if you choose to but this is done with your consent, not inflicted on you.  I find the more aspects of us we include in our kink play, the more profound the experience.  However I cannot predict how you will experience this as it is different from person to person and session to session.  I can guide you into this aspect of kink play… or not… depending on your inclinations and our agreed on intention.

I draw on aspects of tantra, taoism, sexual shamanic traditions, meditation, various erotic body-mind techniques.  Mostly it is about deepening the states of consciousness possible and engaging all of us with awareness and intention.

 

Do these sessions include PIV (penis/dildo in vagina) sex? 

Usually not but occasionally it feels right for a session to include this.  I am not at all against this kind of sex!  It is however my experience that when PIV becomes involved it often becomes the main focus and the richness of the kink is missed.   It is my experience that in most scenarios, the places we travel to together become so much deeper when PIV is taken off the table.  Furthermore, sometimes sex is simply completely irrelevant to the head space we are aiming to achieve.

Having said this, occasionally it does feel exactly the right thing to do for a particular scenario.  I am happy to include PIV sex when I feel that it would honestly enhance the experience and not detract from it.   And, quite frankly, if I feel like it.  A Goddess tends not to do anything she doesn’t want to whether or not she is playing the submissive or dominant role.   I do charge extra for sexual sessions.

 

venus 3Sounds great!  How do I arrange a session?

We need to have a chat on the phone to work out the best way we can play together.  I will guide you through working out the best kind of scenario for you. This really needs to be done by phone because we need to get a feel for each other.   You can shoot me an initial email at artemisia@consciouskink.com to sound out the basics of the kind of session you are after but we will need to speak in person to negotiate.

Call me between 10:30am-8pm Mon-Friday on 0420 415 658.

You can check out location, prices and practical details here…

If you enjoyed this blog and would like to find out about future workshops, blogs and events as well as tours to your area, sign up to my mailing list.

 

 

Feb 232014
 

If you have not already read part 1, I suggest you start there.  See part 1 here… 

Mistress high heelsI turned and began walking through the shopping centre, each high-heeled step a deliberate movement of seduction.  He fumbled with the phallic vegetable and bottle of lube I had insisted he purchase.  I could hear his nervous breath as he attempted to hide the objects in his hands while we walked through the busy centre.

He followed me, uncertain of what I planned to do after the earlier humiliation foreplay in the fruit and vegetable section of the supermarket.

I took my time, stopping to look at the various window displays, taking note of my victim’s flushed cheeks in the reflection of the glass.  I enjoyed toying with him.  No doubt his mind was busily trying to work out what I was going to make him do with that impossibly big phallic vegetable.

His skin was bright with embarrassment.  The more he visualised just what I was going to make him do next, the more he felt as though every passing shopper also knew exactly what was about to happen to him.  Exposed… embarrassed… aroused…  desperately wanting to get away from the laser beams of their eyes yet feeling completely turned on by it.

I bent over in my tight, shapely skirt and adjusted my shoe slightly.  I watched with amusement as I saw him shift his jeans uncomfortably… blood flowing unbidden to his crotch making his pants grow tight and stiff.

“No where to hide little mouse… “ I purred.

Next I asked him to purchase me a large drink while he was still holding on the embarrassing objects and struggling with the fact he was semi erect.  Not  hard enough for anyone else to notice, but hard enough to make him very self-conscious.

He ordered the drink, avoiding making eye contact with the cashier, no doubt imagining she knew exactly what was happening in his dirty little mind. She didn’t of course, but that didn’t stop his face from turning several shades more crimson.

I seductively licked my lips and began sucking through my straw, leaving lashings of red lipstick kisses all over it.  I just watched him through heavy lids as I slurped and sucked every last drop down.  Eye contact can speak volumes.  He squirmed…

When I was done I had him dispose of the cup and I walked slowly and deliberately towards the stairs to the second floor where the cinemas reside.  We walked together in tense, excited silence.  Every sense alert, pulsing and alive.

I could feel his relief as we entered the darkened foyer of the cinemas.  It was easier to not be noticed here.  Not so much light and the thick, red carpet muffled the clickety clack of my ridiculously high heels.

unisex-toiletI sauntered over to the unisex toilet and waited until there was no one around.

“Quickly now, in we go!” I said eyeing the bathroom door.

He hesitated but my face expression told him I would tolerate no disobedience so he slipped inside.  It was a large cubicle.  Big enough for what I had planned…

“Hand me the vegetable,” I said calmly.  He passed it to me.  It was a bright green vegetable I didn’t know the name of.  It was covered in wart-like bumps and was as long as my forearm… and certainly a lot thicker…

“Mistress, I… I don’t know if I…”  he began stammering.

I just looked amused and raised one eyebrow.  “You don’t know if you can what, slave?”

He eyed the vegetable and gulped.

Without breaking eye contact, I opened the bottle of lube and deliberately poured it all over the vegetable like chocolate sauce on an ice cream sunday.    Clear, slippery gel wound its tendrils down the vegetable in thick ribbons.

“But… I’m sorry Mistress, but I really don’t think I can take that!” he stammered.

“Is that so, slave?” I purred, again amused.

I reached over and grabbed a handful of hair at the scruff of his neck yanking his head back, opening his mouth and pulling him off-balance.

“I suspect you will do as your told don’t you?”  I whispered so close to his ear that my breath tickled his lobe.

“Besides, I told you there would be… consequences... if you chose a smaller vegetable than I did, didn’t I, slave?”.

His eyes widened but he didn’t answer.

“I can’t hear you” I purred… “Didn’t I warn you slave?”

“Y…Yes Mistress” he stammered.

marsian phallus 2I thrust the tip of the marsian looking phallus in his mouth and watched him strain to take it in… lube spilling down his chin.  He mumbled and moaned but it was muffled by the vegetable unceremoniously stuffed in his orifice.

“Now that I have your full attention, slave, I am going to give you some instructions.  I want to you to listen very carefully and obey to the letter, do you understand?”  He nodded, eyes wide and mouth still full.  I thrust the vegetable in a little further and watched impassively as he struggled to take it.

“In a moment I am going to let you go.  When I do I want you to unzip your jeans and pull them down to your ankles.  I then want you bend over the toilet, resting your hands on the flush tank and present your bottom to me.  You need to be very quiet so we are not overheard. There could be people right outside the door.  Do you understand?

“Yes mistress” he mumbled through the vegetable gag.

I released the scruff of his neck and removed the marsian phallus vegetable from his mouth.  He immediately unzipped his jeans and pulled them down, exposing his very hard cock standing in full salute to me.

I smiled to myself.  Here was a complete stranger I had never met before doing my every bidding.  I took a moment to savor that thrill.  He had contacted me through my professional dominatrix website and we had negotiated a session.  Even though I am a professional with an excellent reputation, it still takes guts to trust and obey someone you do not know.  There is an art to seducing submission out of someone and I love every second of it.

He turned around and assumed the position as instructed.  He no doubt heard the snap of my latex gloves.

“I like being fully dressed when you are all vulnerable and exposed slave”  I whispered throatily.   “Being bent over and humiliated suits you…”

I slapped his perky arse cheek and slithered a lubed finger down his crack, making him jump.

inside toilet cubicle“Shshshsh my wicked boy, we both know you are going to do as you are told and open up for me”.  I reassured him in a lullaby voice of honey seduction. “We both know you like to be fucked and I am going to invade your most secret places”.

I pushed a finger into his arse.  He gasped with the shock of it but soon relaxed into a moan of pleasure.

His hole was tight and we both knew he would never be able to take the vegetable phallus but I was enjoying playing with his head.  With my other hand, I rolled the vegetable between his butt cheeks and down through his thighs to tickle his balls.  I began gently thrusting my finger in and out, massaging his prostate with every stroke.

We could hear the muffled sound of people in the cinema foyer, going about their business.

He began moaning quietly and rocking back and forth, obviously enjoying being penetrated.

“I think you like it don’t you slave?  Tell me how much you like being fucked up the arse slave?  I want to hear you beg for more.”

“Yes Mistress!  I love being your slave.  I’ll do anything you say.  Please fuck me Mistress”.

“You’re a little slut aren’t you slave? Tell me how much of a horny slut you are.”

“I’m your horny little slut, Mistress. I’m your little slut.  Please fuck me Mistress!”.

At this point he was so aroused he would have done anything at all and I knew it.  I thrust a few more times and then stopped abruptly, leaving him empty and desperate for more.

“Now slave, I am going to give you a choice.  You can either take this delightfully large marsian phallus all the way up your arse or you can open your mouth and let me use it as a toilet.  I did drink an awful lot you see…  I want you to drink every last drop of my golden nectar and thank me for it.  Which will it be?”

He hesitated.  I drummed my fingers impatiently.  “Hmmm?”

We both knew that he was revolted by the idea of drinking my piss but that the phallus was impossible for his tight, untrained arse to take.  It wasn’t really a choice.  He would have to become my living toilet.

I held the marsian phallus up for him to assess.  “Which is it to be?”

“I.. I will take the golden shower, Mistress” he stammered.

“Good boy”.  I smiled.  Now lie down on the ground and open your mouth.  I want to hear you say that you are my toilet.

He lay down obediently and half opened his mouth nervously.  He didn’t say anything.  I could feel how humiliating it was for him to say those words out loud.  His cock was harder than ever but still he struggled.

“I want to hear you say it slave” I repeated impatiently.

“I, I am your toilet Mistress.  I am yours to piss on.  You may piss in my mouth and I will drink every last drop.  I am yours to do with as you please”.

“Yes, yes your are.” I purred.

Pouring oil or golden liquid.I slowly hitched my skirt up to reveal my black satin g-string.  I slipped my fingers under the elastic and flicked it against my skin.  I stepped across him so one of my high-heeled shoes was on either side of his head, giving him an exquisite view up my skirt.

I slowly slipped my panties off, sliding them down my plump, stocking-clad legs.  I slipped them down all the way to my ankles so they stretch taut across his nose and mouth filling his nostrils with the scent of my pussy, hesitated a moment, then flicked them off altogether.

“Open your mouth little slave.  Open wider than that.  For if you do not drink every drop, my golden shower will spill all over your shirt and you do not have a change of clothes”.

I let that sink in.

Then I stretched luxuriously and bent down into a squat, positioning my pussy only inches from his face.  So close, yet so far away…

He opened very wide, not wanting to spill a drop.

At first it was just a trickle… a little splish, splash… I controlled the stream in short bursts letting it gush into his open mouth and roll over his tongue.  I heard him struggle not to spit it out… struggle to keep his mouth open…

His cock was so hard I could have used it as a crow bar.  He may be revolted, degraded and humiliated but he was enjoying this as much as I was.

“Taste it slave.  I want you to taste my golden vintage like a wine.  Savor it. Swish it around your mouth, there’s a good little toilet”.

I squirted another warm gush into his open mouth and watched him struggle to obey.  It was a little too much for him however as some spilled out the corners of his mouth and dribbled down his chin and the front of his chest.

I held the phallus up for him to see clearly.  “Drink it ALL up or you will have to take this after all” I threatened with an amused voice. “It will be very entertaining for me”.

He doubled his efforts to comply with my wishes and I began to gush in earnest making it very difficult for him to swallow in time without my piss going all over him.

Just at that point there was a sudden banging on the door.  A male voice, obviously an employee of the cinema, said, “Excuse me but you need to come out of there.  You were both seen entering the toilet and you’ve been in there far too long.  You need to come out immediately!”

puddle“Just a moment please” I said sweetly while continuing to piss all over my slave.  The surprise knock had made me jump, spraying my golden shower all down the front of my slave’s shirt.  He was soaked.  I may as well finish the job I thought sadistically.  I sprayed one final gush all over his face and clothes.

My slave was in a panic.  He had been getting off on the idea of maybe getting caught but to actually be caught!  Well that was the ultimate humiliation!

I calmly stuffed my panties in my handbag and disposed of the vegetable and lube bottle in the bin.

I then folded my arms amused as my slave tried desperately to clean himself up. He wiped his face with toilet paper as best he could but there really wasn’t anything for it but to come out covered in my golden nectar.  He looked terrified!

There was more banging on the door from the manager.  “I really must insist that you come out of there immediately” he said in a commanding loud voice.  This of course attracted attention of passers-by.  When we did open the door there was a small crowd to greet us, all staring at us.

I stepped out perfectly neat and tidy in my tight skirt and seductive heels… a small wicked smile on my face…

My slave followed out awkwardly behind me covered in piss and unable to do a thing about it.  I walked slowly and deliberately across the hall with all eyes burning into us.  I can’t imagine what they were speculating.  Could they smell the urine or did they think it was water on his shirt?

car parkI know my slave had never squirmed so much in painful, arousing embarrassment in his life!  He was both horrified and secretly loving it.  I did not hurry a single step.

Down the esculator and back in to the main shopping centre, we walked the slow parade of shame.  Soaked in my scent he was forced to walk at a sedate pace through the flouro lit halls.  The walk seemed to last forever.   A smile curled my lips every step of the way… enjoying every awkward moment of humiliation… every excrutiating moment of exquisite torture.

After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the car park.

I turned, noticed his straining erection had returned… and simply winked at him… then walked off to my car without another word.

I just left him standing there in the delicious torment of degradation and arousal.  I left him burning with need for release.  Ah, a Mistress can be so cruel.

******

He wrote to me later to tell me that was one of the most extraordinary, unusual and arousing experiences he had ever had.  He has a thoroughly wicked and hot story to climax to over and over for years to come.

******

This story is based on a real session in my early days as a professional dominatrix and humiliatrix.  All sessions are negotiated and consented to and my slave had a safe word he could have used to stop any activities at any time.  I had no intention of actually getting caught and involving innocent by-standers but it just happened that way.

I have written a blog here about how humiliation can actually be a deeply loving and conscious way to approach kink.  Check it out here…

For those interested in sessions with me, I am currently based in Sydney, Australia.  See my website for further details.

This story is copyright and may not be reproduced in any way without express, written permission from me, Artemisia de Vine.

Nov 142013
 

avikabwdom textMerge my bubble with his… It is a feedback loop but mine takes the lead and down the perverted rabbit hole we go… Channeling Lilith and feeling the strength of all her immortal archetype running through history…

Rumbling thunder rolls up through me and I’m led by a knowing… Just knowing exactly how to tweak each moment to drop him down, down, down… Carry him on my energy to the trance world fueled by archetypal myth sexual fantasies… Arousal… Outside time and space…

I feel him crack and submit… surrender… open to something so much bigger than his everyday way of being.

“I’ve never experienced anything like that before! That was a different world! I can’t believe it but that was a religious experience… I was definitely in a trance… That was unbelievable! What was that?! You just *got* me”.

Yes.

Yes BDSM can be a shamanic journey.

Yes.

Are all sessions like this?  No.  But this one was.

-Artemisia de Vine-

Nov 122013
 

Mistress high heelsWe wore ordinary clothes to blend in.  Well almost.  I couldn’t resist a tight, shapely skirt, lashings of red lipstick, seamed stockings and elegant heels.   People tend to notice my very generous cleavage too so I never really blend in.   However I wasn’t in full dominatrix attire and he was dressed plainly in jeans and a t-shirt.

I calmly watched his nervous fingers fidget.  We met in a shopping centre and he had no idea what was going to happen next.  He just knew he had asked to be humiliated in public.  He tried to look casual but his chest rose and fell with the quickened breath of someone whose senses were on high alert.  Alive excitement…  Anticipation…  Fear…  I could smell it.

“Follow me” I said and slowly began walking through the shops.  There is no hurrying in heels that high so each step was deliberate and seductive.   He followed, eyes on my every movement.   Past cafes and boutiques, past stationary and tobacco shops  we walked those white tiles and flouro lit walk ways until we found ourselves at the supermarket.  Busy check outs whirring and bustling.

He looked at me waiting for me to speak… wondering what on earth I had in mind… the corners of my mouth curled in amusement.  I turned and walked in.  He followed me, his every fibre tuned into me, his Mistress.  I had his full attention and I intended to play with it.

We entered the fruit and vegetable section taking in the smells and sounds… and the shapes… yes the shapes…

supermarketI ran a finger provocatively over a zucchini and leaned down to look intently into his eyes.  With a voice low and throaty enough to only be heard by him I gave him his instructions.  “I want you to take your time and walk through the entire fruit and vegetable section until you find the largest phallic shaped vegetable here and bring it to me.   Make sure you get it right because there will be… consequences… if I find a larger one… ”

He paused, eyeing the people all around us, not quite sure.  I clapped twice sharply, “Off you go” I commanded loudly.    He skitted into action noticing the sudden attention being drawn to us.   Attention is like heat that can sizzle your skin and sear your bones.  We literally can feel people’s eyes on us and our bodies respond.  Energy is energy whether it is sexual energy or the energy of embarrassment… or more potent still, shame.  Some of us know how to weave that shame energy into pleasure by eroticising it and what an intense hit it can be!  I watched his face flush momentarily with a mini rush of  it.  Humiliation foreplay…

He walked around carefully looking at all the fruit and vegetables, occasionally picking one up to measure it against another.  I could see him both wanting to hurry up but also fearing getting it wrong.   Eventually he approached me with a very large cucumber.

“Are you sure that is the one you want to choose”?  I asked loudly enough for those around to overhear.   He hesitated, unsure, and then nodded.

marsian phallus 2I just looked at him a moment, giving nothing away.  I  then walked deliberately to the section he hadn’t noticed.   I held up a marsian green vegetable covered in little wart-like bumps. I didn’t even know the name of it.  It was the most bizarre, alien looking thing.  Long as my fore-arm and slightly wider.  I looked at him over the tip of it… “I suspect mines bigger than yours, wouldn’t you say?”

He gulped and nodded.  I let that sink in for a moment.

“I’ll just get you to hold onto that while we do a little more shopping,” I said suddenly deceptively casual. I handed him the marsian phallus, turned and walked off down the aisle with him trotting behind.   Without hesitation I walked straight to the personal hygiene aisle and stopped with a loud sigh in front of the lubricants.

“Pick one” I said pointing, “Oh and make it a big one because we are going to need a lot” .  I eyed the vegetable he was carrying.    He blushed bright as a christmas light but obediently grabbed a bottle.   He tried to hide it in his hands but it was still quite obvious what it was.   Again the corners of my mouth curled in amusement.

I took my time walking the different aisles looking at the merchandise, never paying much attention to my victim as he awkwardly followed me around carrying the marsian phallus and lube as inconspicuously as it is possible to carry such things.  There really are no shadows to hide in a flourescent-lit supermarket.  I let the tension build.

Eventually I stopped and asked him to meet me out the front of the supermarket after he had paid for his two items.   “No plastic bags as they are bad for the environment,” I purred with a wink.

cash registerI watched with amusement as he waited in line clutching his items while trying to look perfectly normal.  I enjoyed his struggle to buy everyday items while imagining everyone knew what they were for.  I could see him shift uncomfortably on his feet, keeping his eyes down… trying to make himself small…  There certainly were some raised eyebrows and amused looks as he stood there, seemingly forever, waiting for his turn to plonk the items down  in front of the cash register.

Finally it was his turn and he placed the items in front of the bored cashier.  She looked up  and what was in front of her registered in her mind.  She paused a moment, stifled a smile but then, to her credit, she carried on as normal but you could see her mind ticking over.  It’s hard not to make an association between the two items and my victim knew it.

“Do you want a bag for these?” she asked.  He risked a glance at me standing several metres away.  “Ah, no thanks” he stammered.  Time seemed to slow down excruciatingly as she processed the items.   My victim stood perfectly still,  but the scarlet creeping into his ears was a dead give away.  His body was rushing with embarrassment…  exposed…  tingles of humiliation rising through him… mind overloading as his feelings became so strong he could do nothing but experience them… desperately wishing he could run away but at the same time, loving it.

He hurriedly paid, dropping his money twice in his fumbling attempt to get out of the spotlight as quickly as possible.  He picked up the lube and alien cock-vegetable and rushed over to me, partly relieved that he was through the first ordeal but also clearly wondering what on earth was going to happen next.  His impulse was to rush off but I made him wait.  I just stood there and let him feel it for a moment.

“You look a little flushed dear” I said with a twinkle in my eye.

– by Artemisia de Vine –

See Part 2 to find out what happened next…

Note:  This story is based on a real session early in my career as a professional dominatrix and humiliatrix.  I specialise in play sessions that allow people to engage in their natural kinky wiring in an aware way.  I am often asked how I can both deeply care for my clients and also thoroughly enjoy humiliating them.  I have written a blog about that here… 

All material in this blog is copyright to Artemisia de Vine and may not be duplicated in anyway without express written permission.

 

Nov 092013
 

NewTrayI tend to be quite fascinated by kink play that explores all our shades of humanity. Traditional archetypes interweaving with innovative moments free from prescribed social scripts… Tapping into the power of the erotic patterns already firmly established in the-way-things-are-done-in-BDSM and adding the spices of unmapped territory. Taking the potency from both the old and the new and seeing where it takes us…

This method avoids the stagnant oppression of “rules” that decide who is a “real” Mistress/slave/sub etc while still accessing the juicy currents that the rules were made to channel in the first place. – Artemisia de Vine

Nov 092013
 

Temptation logoAs a professional Dominatrix, ocassional switch and educator in the world of conscious kink, I am often asked how I can possibly thoroughly enjoy play sessions that intentionally humiliate or embarrass my play partner.  How can I be invested in a loving, self-aware path that focuses on mindfulness and embodied meditation and also be into objectifying, degrading, controlling and belittling another human being?

Warning!  This blog discusses explicit adult themes of a fetish, BDSM and kink nature.   

It’s true that I am both a person who strives for integrity and cares deeply for the well-being of my play partners while at the same time I find it incredibly hot to make them perform erotically humiliating acts.  It’s one of my specialties and personal core erotic themes.  I am a humiliatrix.  I even like to some times, with the right partner, switch roles.  Embarrassment, power and eroticism frequently go hand in hand.

Being conscious about kink certainly doesn’t mean “light  and fluffy” BDSM only.  Delving into the feeling of danger and mystery can often be what ignites our erotic play… taking risks… peeking into the dark crevices of our souls…  exploring power or intensity can be what gives a session its bite and heat… carving a delicious memory into our flesh that lasts a life time.    

It could be as simple as having to bare your bottom and bend over for a thorough spanking… being anally taken by a strap on… forced to worship my feet… verbal put downs from mild  to intense…. being made to kneel… spat on… called names… small cock humiliation… put in degrading positions… being made to eat out of a dog bowl…  forced to drink golden showers…  being treated like a sissy slut…  being tied up, teased and laughed at about how turned on you are and how you are never going to be allowed to actually touch the body in front of you… and far more intense, explicit things I won’t go into here. 

shadow04Erotic Shadows

Conscious kink is not about sanitising that… It is about engaging with it in a consensual and aware way that aims to have a positive effect on all involved and allows us to travel deeper into each moment.  It is about learning and harnessing skills to ride the wave rather than be rolled by it… and to enter states of being and, well, consciousness one cannot get to otherwise.  Consciously approaching kink play takes bravery to be self-aware, take self-responsibility and be the hero on your own erotic quest of self discovery.  Far from detracting from the experience, being conscious in BDSM play only makes it more potent.

Each of us have core erotic themes that run through our fantasies and erotic dream-scape.  Core erotic themes vary greatly from person to person and are very often made up of the parts of us that we have suppressed as part of our personal and cultural upbringing.   As we develop and adopt the socially acceptable ways of being and behaving in any given family or culture, some natural parts of us are deemed inappropriate.   Showing anger might be one… taking up too much body space might be another… openly expressing our sexuality might be another…  According to Carl Jung, all of these aspects of our personality are suppressed into our unconscious where we are no longer aware of it on  a day-to-day basis.   The qualities that are suppressed are called our shadow and contains both negative and positive aspects of us.   Our shadow becomes the part of us we can’t see yet has a huge impact on the way we feel, act and react all the time.

Creating shadows is a natural part of learning to belong to any culture but creating shadows also creates shame.  It’s pretty simple.   Suppressing certain aspects of us also creates shame about those aspects.   Our shadow self is made up of all these suppressed aspects.  We access our unconscious, where our shadow lives, through the images and feelings in day and night dreams, imagination and yes, our sexual fantasies.     

Core erotic themes vary greatly from person to person but we all have them  if we dig deep enough we find common flavors running through our sexual fantasies and none of them are politically correct.  Some people, have core erotic themes that are about longing, being desired, having power, being powerless and some of us have core erotic themes that are formed from the clay of humiliation, embarrassment and shame.   Even those that have non humiliation core erotic themes, may have a smattering of humiliation woven through their fantasies anyway.  It is not universal but is very common.   

portal spaceSexual Fantasy as Portal to the Unconscious

Our sexual fantasies are gateways to these suppressed aspects of ourselves because being aroused or in sub space or both, takes us into a different state of consciousness.  When in these head-spaces we think, feel and experience things differently.  In these states of consciousness the veil between unconscious self and conscious self is thinner.  The unconscious bleeds through and we start to think in the langauge of the unconscious… in dream language… in fantasy language… So we have sexual fantasy and shame hand in hand here…  We also have an opportunity  for  inner alchemy here.  To turn the base metals into gold…  All the ingredients are there.   We have an opportunity for the conscious and unconscious to co-operate and align if we choose to embrace our shadow in our erotically fuelled  and/or subspace altered state of consciousness.   

knickersSissy Sluts as an Example of Erotic Shadow 

Cis men into cross dressing are into it for a huge variety of reasons and not all of them have a core erotic theme based in humiliation.  Like-wise, not every one who has humiliation as a core erotic theme is into cross dressing.   I am just using cross dressing as a possible expression of someone who has humiliation as a core erotic theme in the example below.

A person born in a male body is socialised to “act like a man” and “man up” from the moment he is first put in his pale blue onesy as a baby.   Depending on the particular culture, subculture and family beliefs, the idea of how to ‘act like a man” will have various expressions.  Some common themes are not being allowed to wear pink, satin, frills, flowers, make up, or anything associated with being a “girl”.   Crying, showing emotion, forming intimate connections with mates where feelings are openly shared… skipping… moving the pelvis in a “feminine” way etc…  Along for the ride with this mentality is the idea that men are the “doers” in sex and women are the “done to”.   Sex inherently taints women but not men.  Being receptive is female…  Being penetrated is not a “manly” thing to do. 

These attributes and acts literally have to be trained  out of our boys to turn them into “men”.   That means the attributes were there to start with buthad to be suppressed. Many aspects of  masculinity have to be performed and reinforced and are often reinforced quite brutally.  I’m not saying there aren’t natural differences between people born with penises and those born with pussies, but I am saying there are clearly also some pretty strong socialisation processes.  Boys frequently bully each other the second they show any sign of being “girly”.  Being like a girl is the worst crime and is considered weak, submissive and pathetic.  It may even earn you a beating and being socially ostracized.   There is deep shame in showing any attributes considered feminine.  Having a “big cock” is the ultimate symbol of being a sexually virile manly man and is associated with dominance.

barbieAs a dominatrix, I see a lot of men who are incredibly turned on by being forced to wear girly, frilly panties.  They feel really turned on by being forced to do all those things normally considered “sissy” but have no idea why.  It is such a common pattern there is a common name for it.  It’s called a “sissy slut” session.  The sissy sluts who also have humiliation as part of their turn on want to feel all the girly things forbidden to them and be humiliated for it.   They want to feel sexually desired and objectified the way women often are.  They love the feel of the silky under things against their skin but for the humiliation themed sissies, it isn’t truly hot until they are mocked and degraded for it.   They want to not only be smeared in lipstick and made to take on the body language of girls but they want to be degraded and called a slut for it… forced to suck my strap on and then be used anally.   Some find having their cock mocked as small and useless is a real turn on.   Basically, living out their worst fears and transforming them into something pleasurable through eroticising them.

This is just a small sample of many possible forms humiliation sessions might take.  Anyone of any gender can enjoy humiliation play on either the giving or the recieving end.  Another example could be treated like an animal, caged  and collared… because likewise the aspects of us that are considered uncultured, raw and sexual are often correlated with “acting like an animal”.  

Another person may enjoy eroticising the feeling of being seen and used as just a sex object.   Some may secretly fantasise about being a trussed up like a naked, hog-tied, turkey in the middle of the boardroom table while surrounded with corporate types in suits observing and analyzing them.   Others enjoy the thought of  being de-humanised altogether and treated like a resource.  A thing.  Or actively scolded and dressed down.

It’s not always overtly erotic either.  It can be more about subspace and the state of consciousness people go when the mind is tricked into a state of open surrender.  Sub space = submission space and often ressembles the place meditators aim to access.  A surrender of the ego to let some other part of us take the driver’s seat.  

Humiliation is complex.  I won’t go into all the possible nuances here.  Some of us have it as a deeply rooted core erotic theme that will remain with us for the rest of their lives.  Others of us have other core erotic themes but have aspects of feeling shame and embarrassment threading through our secret masturbation fantasies like a spice that adds the kick.  It’s not surprising really given the mixed messages we are given about our sexuality from the get go.  It’s a source of wonder and great shame.  The sex Goddess is also the “slut” and the “whore”.  

thespianDoesn’t acting it out reinforce it?  How can that be conscious and healthy?

So what do we do with this?   I have met may a tantrika or well-meaning person who thinks we need to heal this aspect of ourselves.  While I agree that working through sexual shame is one of the great works of our era, I do not agree that  our sexual fantasies and consensual role plays should be “healed”.  That is, the aim of conscious kink as I see it, is not to make those uncomfortable fantasies go away.   To avoid embracing our politically incorrect turn ons would be to suppress those aspects of ourselves even further… creating an even stronger struggle between our conscious minds and our shadow selves.   Instead, I propose we embrace our shadow in a conscious, lusty, full power way with a cherry on top!

By creating safe spaces to bring out and explore our shadow selves in a play scene we are creating a container with a neat beginning, middle and end that allows us to let the usually suppressed parts of ourselves take the driver’s seat.  It is a ritual if you like, where we can create temporary, different rules and ways of being that we consent to with awareness.  Our subconscious doesn’t speak the same langauge or play by the same rules as our conscious minds.  In a play scene we are letting the language of the subconscious take over, or at least bleed through.   By acting these shadow aspects of ourselves out, we  create an opportunity to bring the paradoxical elements of ourselves into alignment.  The paradox never goes away but we learn to ride it and find the treasure at the heart of it.  It is right there in the point where darkness and light meet that the magic lies.  

The point is not to turn darkness into light.  Oh no!  Too much sweetness and light leads to spiritual diabetes.  The point is to ride the paradox and engage with it consciously.  

By bringing unconscious and conscious into alignment something powerful happens.  Our shadow is no longer, well unconsciously controlling our feelings, reactions, beliefs, relationships.   Instead, the conscious and unconscious are co operating and co creating.  The shadow becomes our ally rather than our feared monster under the bed and we have a sense of inner alignment.

This moment of paradox in alignment sometimes just happens accidentally without us ever consciously examining any of the whys and hows.   The play is enough on its own to create this effect.   If you are erotically drawn to something and you have the opportunity to live it out in a safe way with consenting adults, then go for it.  Follow those erotic cookie crumbs!  They are leading you to a deeper relationship with your shadow self.   However just doing it randomly is a bit hit and miss.  

If we enter into humiliation play with awareness and conscious intention, we have the potential to nudge the result into an even more effective and powerful place more often.  While there are never any guarentees, the result is far more likely to be empowering rather than reinforcing the status quo.  There is the world of difference between a client who comes to me like our play is a dirty secret, feels ashamed that he has this need, responds unconsciously by being shifty and sleazy and then turning on me afterwards, to a client who comes to me willing to be the hero on his own inner alchemy quest by exploring his Kink proclivities with awareness and taking self-responsibility.   The outcome of the two sessions are vastly different.

In the case of the sissy sluts, conscious kink creates a place to play with gender.   We don’t try to make it politically correct because that would actually kill the power of acting out our shadow selves.  Remember the unconscious is not politically correct and we need to allow space to give it voice.   By acting out our sissy slut, we come into a greater awareness and relationship with the suppressed so-called “girly” or “slutty” parts of ourselves.    Instead of then becoming revolted when men act in “girly” ways without knowing why, we begin to lose that knee jerk revulsion.  We then have more choice around how we interact with gender and allow those around us to interact with their own gender identity in whatever way they choose.  Being  sissy slut doesn’t stop beign a turn on for us and as far as I am concerned it shouldn’t.   What happens is we have a more aware, healthy relationship to our inner sissy slut that ripples out into our relationship with ourself and others in all areas of life. 

erotic themesPersonal Core Erotic Themes

Each of us has different core erotic themes so not every one will be drawn to explore humiliation scenes.   Of those into humiliation, there will be a huge variety of fantasies about how that might manifest in your hottest turn ons.   Certainly not everyone will be turned on by being a made into a sissy slut.  While many men go through the process of having the “girl” beaten out of them through socialisation, only some end up with sissy slut fantasies.   No one really knows why for sure.  

Perhaps instead your fantasies are based on being caught masturbating, or having the girl you fancy use her power over you to make you jump through hoops?   Being degraded and having your mouth used as a toilet…  Or simply being made to beg to be fucked…  Maybe you like role play where you are caught rifling through your neighbor’s  knicker draw and she threatens to tell your parents if you don’t do exactly as she says…  Maybe you fantasise about being naked in a board room full of corporate types in suits?  The scenarios are endless and I have become very creative in finding ways to tease out those hots spots in an individual’s core erotic theme.  

The reason that I am drawn to humiliation play is that is one of my own core erotic themes.  I get it.  I really get it.  My goodness did it take me a long time to be able to admit it!   I’m into degrading and erotically humiliating others and under the right circumstances, I’m turned on by having the tables turned.  Oh the shame of having humiliation and degradation as a turn on.  *Cue irony*

As an aside, It is also worth noting that having core erotic themes like humiliation, does not stop us from also accessing other forms of erotic pleasure like making love, sensuality, ecstatic erotically-fuelled trance states, kundalini experiences and more.   Fantasy and kink play is only one possible expression out of many.   If you only know how to be aroused from your core erotic theme and can’t access any other forms of erotic interaction, then I suggest going to a sexologcial bodyworker or other conscious sexuality professional and learning how to access even more potential within you.  More options  = more ways of playing and connecting with self and others. 

ying-yang-yin-x-250943 So what makes Conscious Kink humiliation play sessions any different? 

There are all sorts of skills from neo-tantra, mindfulness and other somatic embodiment practices that are helpful to enhance any sort of kink play.  There are all sorts of subtle ways of  moving into deeper relationship with self from various esoteric traditions and somatic body-mind techniques.  Techniques from tantra, yoga, mindfulness and transcendental meditation practices all translate well into kink play.  However,  a really great place to start is simply with intention and awareness.

Just being aware that this play is a opportunity to own our erotic shadow selves and make them an ally already makes a big difference to how we approach any session.   Having the intention to tune into and embrace our erotic shadow changes everything.

I find discussing and stating out loud our intention in a clear sentence or two before we begin has a subtle but potent impact on a play scene.  Our unconscious responds to our intentions in ways that ripple out into our lives in ways we can’t really pre-conceive.   Having the intention, to love and respect ourselves and consciously let go for a given amount of time to fully enter into a normally suppressed way of being, accepting ourselves and each other “warts and all” makes a big difference.  Being witnessed, accepted and held in our  secret, sexy, vulnerable, shameful places is huge!

This kind of play often leads to a way of being where our shadow selves start to work with us in everyday life rather than control us in unconscious ways, bursting out like volcanos in seemingly unconnected areas of our lives.  Personally, I have been blown away with just how powerful simple tools like intention and awareness have.

barbed candleConscious Kink as a Spiritual Path 

Each person has their own spiritual or existential perspective and far be it from me to tell you what to think.  You certainly don’t  have to adopt my take on spirituality for this process to work.   However, to me, the great soul work of being human is to fully experience being human and awaken to our full selves.  Awaken all the layers…  We often wander about in a sleep walk, living our pre-programmed social scripts and wonder why we feel dissatisfied.   The antidote is to wake up!

More and more people are waking up and truly living.  One of the key ways to do this is to befriend our shadow selves and turn it into an ally.    One excellent and effective way to do this is through accessing our sexuality… where the veils between the conscious and unconscious are naturally thinner and alignment is more easily achievable.

I am of the school of thought that we are not human beings having a spiritual experience but we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  That means everything is already sacred just the way it is.  However the ultimate experience is being conscious of and fully exploring our humanity with awareness of our inner spark of divinity.  We feel the most right, the most content and at “home” when we are in alignment with all aspects of ourselves.

Sounds good, so where do we start?  

So all this sounds really exciting and you’d like to play.   Start by thinking about the common themes running through your hottest, most forbidden fantasies.  The ones you hardly dare think about unless you are so aroused you are about to cum.   There will likely be lots of different scenarios you enjoy.  Take notice of what the underlying themes are.  What common ingredient makes it hot for you again and again no matter what shape the fantasy takes?   Break that down so you can clearly communicate it and consent to it, agreeing to safewords and after-care.

hand shakeConsent, Negotiation and Safe words

Humiliation is a volatile fantasy to play with.  It has to be very carefully discussed and consented to before hand because one person’s turn on is the next person’s traumatic experience.  I can’t emphasis enough how important it is to discuss a potential humiliation scene thoroughly and work out exactly what hits the hot buttons and which ones hit the genuine ouch buttons.   It is important for all parties involved to consent to certain activities, attitudes and understand the vibe of the individual player’s core erotic theme.  

No matter how much you plan, there is always a certain amount of risk in these kinds of games.  I get my play partners to actively acknowledge that risk and take self-responsibility for it.  Having a plan for if things go awry is really useful.    We agree to a safe word that can stop our play at any time if needed.  I ask my play partners not to use the safe word willy-nilly but to take three long, slow breaths before using it.  If they still need to use, it, go for it but make sure they need to.  Life isn’t all nice kittens and pie and sometimes the most challenging parts of the play turn out, in hindsight, to be what really gave it power.

My most immediate psychological “first aid” tool for if my play partner or I becomes triggered is to focus on breathing.   When an unexpected surge of emotion rises in us, as it sometimes does when working with erotic alchemy,  I get the person to focus completely on their breath.  Counting with them and guiding them to breath very slowly and fully.. letting the air fall all the way out before taking the next breath.   Doing this for ten breaths is often enough to shift the burst of emotive energy  to be able to talk about it and feel into what needs to happen next.  If what needs to happen is beyond my scope, I have the numbers of highly respected, kink-friendly counsellors and psychotherapists handy.

It’s also important to discuss after-care.  Even if my play partner is grinning from ear to ear at the end of our session, aftercare may be needed to bring things full circle.   It is good to discuss with the person what they need to reassure them they are a respected, valuable human being.  For some people suddenly becoming all nurturing at the end of the session would burst the bubble for them but for others, it is essential or they will feel weepy and empty for days.  There are no fixed rules so communication and risk aware experimentation is key.    Quite often a blanket, a cup of tea and a chance to de-brief about the experience is enough.

If your play partner is not experienced, it may help to seek out someone in the kink and/or tantra scene who is who can help you work it out.   The local kink scene often runs workshops and skill shares.  Or else you can book in for a professional session with a dominatrix or switch. Some professionals approach their play more consciously than others so ask questions until you find the right fit.  Many kink professionals are happy to see couples and guide them into a play session together.  

If you are looking to specifically learn the skills to take humiliation into the realm of conscious play as part of your personal journey into great self-awareness, personal transformation, discovery and alignment then there are people listed on my website who work in those areas offering everytign from counselling, workshops, and play sessions.   There is a book list on the resources section of my website.   You are also welcome to sign up to my mailing list to keep an eye out for upcoming workshops or book in for a personalised consultation or play session.  Skype sessions consultations available.  

Most of all, remember that while this kind of play can push boundaries and be challenging, it is also lots and lots of  fun and one hell of an adventure!   Good luck on your quest to discover even more of your inner world and get off in the process.  Yay for the paradox of holy smut!

 – Artemisia de Vine: Goddess of Conscious Kink

 

All material on this blog is copyright and the property of Artemisia de Vine.   

Oct 072013
 
Artemisia de Vine

Artemisia de Vine

Sensual tantric fisting session this sunny, Sydney afternoon…. Lovely floaty session that drops down and opens deep. Fisting isn’t always about Dominance and submission in an obvious way.  Sometimes it is about opening to something greater than ourselves and surrendering to the bliss.

I do anal fisting in many different ways.  Sometimes as a full on dominatrix archetype and others as a Sensual Goddess archetype.  Today it was about breath work, the full body, hot oil, lomi lomi massage to include the whole being in the process…  Building waves of gentle eroticism and opening deeper… Slow, tantalising external anal massage, prostate massage and then entering in deep with my whole fist.   It was about taking the time to explore the different subtle sensations  possible.   No rush.  Slow down to experience fully then gradually come back with more even full sensual full body touch.   So far gone that you just become the sensations…

Dropping down into this beautiful floaty state means the veil between the conscious and unconscious becomes thin and our psyches naturally align.   All sorts of things shift and move within us if we open to it.  It is a real opportunity to connect more deeply with ourselves and the things about Life that truly matter.   In this sense, anal fisting can be a type of blissful, erotic meditation with all the same holistic benefits.

 

Aug 162012
 

venus flytrap redProfessional sessions are real sessions.   As I professional I am not claiming to provide what a private Mistress does.  I am claiming to provide a different opportunity that is none the less just as valuable.  I am a highly trained professional providing a real opportunity to explore your personal potential to experience pleasure, perversion, intensity, self in relation to other, states of consciousness, eroticism and the mysteries of your own personal wiring.  It is an opportunity to consciously sink deep into submission, open to aspects of yourself you did not know existed, play with your desires and fantasies, have your limits pushed and expand your capibilities to experience all that is possible, by an expert who knows how to draw this out of you and the skill to bring you safely through the storm.

It takes time and patience to find the right professional Mistress for you, just like it takes time and patience to find the right doctor, councellor, spiritual advisor or personal trainer.  You will have repoire with some and not others. If you are genuine in you desire to learn just how powerful and incredible a Dominant Woman can be, then don’t give up after a bad experience or two… Once a person finds the right Dominant for them, they can travel deeply together, sometimes even forming an ongoing journey that lasts years and explores inner galaxies.

Professional sessions work a lot better if you have the right attitude. If you think you are paying for a service then that is all you will get. A hollow service.  If you see yourself as offering tribute to a highly trained Priestess of perversion and pleasure in return for a valuable training session and/or experience that allows you to explore your potential and individual wiring, then that is what you will get. Show the respect an embodiment of the divine, dark feminine deserves and you will be blessed with Her beauty, terror and wisdom.

If you are interested in journeying with me, then fill in the form in the contact page when you approach me.  This will give me a better idea of where you are currently at; whether or not you are a suitable client for my personal taste and skillset and how to plan experiences that will be potent and mutually satisfying.  If I am not the right match for you, then I encourage you to explore the links to other genuine, highly qualified, professionals I respect.  These links can be found on my homepage.