Dec 132016
 

artemisia-de-vine-prAs part of the sexological bodyworkers collective, I am presenting a workshop on Embodying Sexual Fantasy in the Educational Erotica weekend held in Sydney this coming February 18-19.

Twelve of Australia’s leading sex educators are gathering for a unique weekend of the most practical, interesting and concept shifting sex ed on offer – artfully facilitated with heart, humour, wisdom and fun.

Presenters and Weekend schedule Here 

Tickets Here:  Early bird is available until Dec 20 if you are looking to buy a Christmas gift for a loved one that will bring you closer together.

Embodying Sexual Fantasy Workshop with Artemisia de Vine

This workshop takes a closer look at the role of sexual fantasy and asks the questions, what happens when we create an intentional relationship with our fantasy selves?  What happens when we hear the inner voice that is speaking to us through our fantasies?

This is a chance to explore how things shift when we move our sexual fantasies from the head, into the body through consensual, embodied play scenes, based on the recurring emotional themes that emerge.

From enjoying imagining certain body parts, to imagining what it would be like to have sex with a certain person right through to elaborate, sometimes taboo, storylines, most people engage with sexual fantasy. Sometimes these fantasies can seem to go against the grain of our own moral compass bringing about inner conflict and confusion.

With a playful, compassionate, curiosity, I will guide us into peeking under the hood of our sexual fantasies. It is a good beginning for those interested in exploring the hidden corners of our sexual psyche and turning our fantasies into our allies.

Note: Even though I am a professional dominatrix, this is a workshop on sexual fantasy, not on BDSM/kink as such. BDSM themes may come up but equally so may sexual fantasies of any kind. Clothes remain on in this workshop and while we do have a chance to engage in embodied learning, we will not be engaging in sexual activities. You are invited to participate only at the level you choose to at any given time.

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSM CKBio: Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Dominatrix and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness. Her expertise extends beyond BDSM as she is a devoted student of the erotic arts from the sensual to kinky edge play.

She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevant to their personal journey.

She loves to explore the erotic psyche in relation to the Mysteries of Existence and engages play styles that asks just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.

She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.

She is at heart, interested in exploring the ways in which owning our suppressed side can make us whole and how creating an intentional relationship with sexual fantasies can lead us home to ourselves.

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Aug 022016
 

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSMTaking a deeper look into our taboo sexual fantasies and kinky desires, can be an extraordinarily illuminating experience.  Furthermore it can have a really positive effect in so many areas of our lives, yet we are often so debilitated by shame that we cannot even tell our nearest and dearest we have these dirty little secrets.

Or else, we proudly live out our fantasies in the kink scene… or by being a player… or masturbating to them… but are afraid to lift the lid and take a closer peak at what they mean and end up missing out on their full potential at best, and hurting ourselves and others, at worst.

One of the reasons that we often feel so much shame around sexual fantasies, is that they frequently tap into parts of us we have suppressed.  We are often in denial about these aspects of ourselves so when our sexual fantasies knock on the door we feel as though they don’t really represent us.  The shame impulse can kick in and we can suppress our fantasies altogether.  Or another common response, is to enjoy kinky desires or taboo fantasies, only for the length of time we are aroused, and then revert to feeling shame in ourselves and brush them back under the proverbial bush.

So many of us fear letting others know what we really think about when fantasising and yet we are all in the same boat!  Even those that initially think they don’t have sexual fantasies, discover they do when we take a closer look.

Common Fantasies

In my work as a lifestyle and professional dominatrix, switch and sex worker I have had the privilege of working closely with thousands of people’s fantasies.  I help them tease them out and create play scenes designed on each individual’s unique erotic wiring. While we are all different, there are common themes that emerge again and again.  There are also common patterns in the aspects of ourselves that we suppress that are directly linked to our fantasy turn ons.

Some are fantasies are about people we know, others are about ideal lovers and many are embarrassingly politically incorrect!  We can feel things that we would never want to act out in everyday life.  Aspects of us come out of the murky depths when we allow ourselves to tap into sexual fantasy!

Love and Power is a very common theme.  Those that see themselves as loving don’t like to see their desire for power for instance and suppress some of these aspects of self, while those that see themselves as powerful secretly desire to surrender to love… Or be forced to… These aspects come out in our fantasy desires.

Some of those that consider themselves “manly” don’t like to have others know they have a suppressed desire for the attributes socially coded as “feminine”.  Yet often those types will be the very ones that come and see me secretly for a cross dressing session… Or to be ravished with strap on…  There are of course also other reasons someone might be drawn to this type of play.  This is just an example of how a suppressed aspect of us might come out through fantasy.

Being ravished, or ravishing someone is a common theme.  Non-consent and rape fantasies can get us hot under the collar even though we don’t really want to experience them in everyday life at all!  These fantasies are an entirely different thing to real rape.  Our fantasy rapist magically knows how to do all the right things to get us off… Forcing us to experience the aspects of us we deny ourselves…

Sometimes we desire to give up all responsibility and be taken care of by some impossibly perfect lover…

Sometimes we fantasise about doing acts we consider dirty with people who are taboo for us to desire…

Sometimes we desire to hurt or be hurt… Physically or emotionally… Or eroticise things that genuinely cause us distress in real life…  Sometimes we eroticise shame itself…

Sometimes our fantasies are less obvious and take a bit more to decipher.  They are complex reflections of our inner world…  as complex and unique as you are, but however yours show up we have a lot to learn by taking a closer look.

Our inner fantasy world is a stage where all the parts of us we deny can come out to play. However, while we remain in shame or denial about these aspects of ourselves, these aspects take on a life of their own and can rebel against us.  They can express themselves in destructive ways.

So what is the antidote?  Well this is exactly what I would love to explore with you in my upcoming workshops series.

In the level 1 workshop you will get a chance to explore your recurrent erotic themes.  We will also explore what happens when we create an intentional relationship with our sexual fantasies.  What happens when we trust our sexual desires as an important message from unconscious selves and cultivate a playful and compassionate curiosity about them?  What happens when we find consensual and healthy ways to live out these aspects through play scenes and role play?  What happens when we all start accepting these sexual expressions in ourselves and in each other and stop being ashamed to admit we all have them?  How will that impact us personally, and collectively as a society?

This workshop is not about trying to “heal” these desires so we don’t have them anymore but quite to the contrary, it is about embracing our denied aspects and creating healthy and super sexy outlets to play with them!  It is about turning our sexual shadows into our allies.

Likewise this workshop also acknowledges that it is possible to act out our fantasies in ways that reinforce the shame and suppression cycle and keep us prisoners.  I explore the ways in which we can avoid those traps.

In level Two, which is a four day, fully catered retreat with optional play party, I share my skills as a professional kinkster and fantasy specialist.  I show you the tools I use to create play scenes that are based on your own, and other people’s fantasy blueprints. Level one teaches you how to work out and relate to those blueprints and level two shows you how to bring them to life through play.  Next year I will also be offering a more in depth Practitioner Level Training that includes these skills and much more.

Interestingly, in my experience, unpacking our unique fantasy blueprints doesn’t kill our turn ons, but instead creates more opportunities to intentionally tap into what can be our most exciting and fulfilling sexual expressions.

It also creates really fertile ground for deeper relationship with ourselves and intimacy with our loved ones.  It brings us into alignment with ourselves and leads to a sense of healthy sexual wholeness.  For some, it can even lead to connection with that aspect of ourselves that is bigger, deeper, wiser than our everyday self.

This work is transformation though play and it’s super hot!  What’s not to love about that!

Are you someone who only ever secretly fantasises while watching porn, during sex or while masturbating but would like to learn how to get more out of these desires by bringing them into your sex life more proactively and openly?  Then this workshop series is for you.

Are you someone who has a partner with taboo desires completely different from your own and experiences confusion about this disconnect? Would you like to understand these fantasies more and learn how to play with them in ways that are mutually fulfilling?  Then come along, this is going to be really helpful for you.

Are you someone who would love to know how to discover your own, and other people’s, sexual fantasy blueprint and how to design a play scene around it that hits all the right buttons?  Well let me share my years of experience and the knowledge I have gleaned from creating thousands of play scenes as a professional.  Level 2, the four-day, fully catered retreat & optional play party will be especially useful for you.   However, first you need to understand level 1.

Are you someone who has played around in the kink scene and done-all-the-things, but feel as though there is something more possible with this play?  Something you can’t quite put your finger on?  Then this is for you too.

All genders and sexual orientations are welcome.  Singles, monogamous couples, poly folk, you are all welcome.  You do not need to have a partner to attend.

There will be no nudity or sexual activities on level 1 but in level 2 there will be the possibilities of your own expression at the optional play party. You could also easily attend level 2 without ever choosing to be nude or play in any overtly sexual ways. You are invited to participate only to whatever level you feel comfortable with at any given moment and honor your learning edge.  Safety and consent frameworks will be openly discussed and put in place. Breaches of these codes of conduct will be taken seriously and may result in your removal without a refund.

Listen to my podcast on Exploring Sexual Shadows here.

Read more about the workshops and BUY TICKETS here.

Join my mailing list to stay informed about upcoming workshops, private coaching and play sessions.

Alternately follow me on Twitter.

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSMAbout Artemisia de Vine
Sydney-based, professional & lifestyle dominatrix, switch & sex worker who specialises in creating opportunities for sexual self discovery through play scenes designed on her client’s unique erotic wiring.  She draws on her experience and training in BDSM, tantra, sexological bodywork, Taoism, personal development coaching, years of work in the adult industry and more.  Her skills and experience span the sensual to the deliciously twisted.  See her website for more.

Jul 202016
 

 

shadow workshop fb-banner-level-one

Artemisia de Vine Conscious Erotic ArtsHi, I am Artemisia de Vine and I am a Sydney-based, professional & lifestyle dominatrix, switch & creative kinkster. I also have a strong, sensual side to my sexuality. We are complex beings with many attributes are we not?

I am here to invite you to my upcoming workshops

Exploring our Sexual Shadows through Taboo Fantasy & Kink  – Byron Bay Aug 5-7 and Sept 29-Oct 2

 

I have created a pod cast which gives you a great introduction to this topic.  If you listen all the way until the end you will get a code word that will allow you to get level 1 tickets at the early bird prices even though early bird has finished.  Furthermore, if you bring a friend and you both book and pay at once, you will both get an additional $50 off your tickets!

Check out the podcast here

Purchase Tickets here

 

Or if you prefer to read…
I have had the privilege of working closely with thousands of people to tease out their unique erotic fingerprint and turn those underlying, and often unconscious, motivations into play scenes. I approach my work, and personal play, with intention and awareness as well as heart and passion. I purposefully create opportunities to interact with more levels of ourselves through our sexuality. This work has the potential to be profound and I am blown away again and again by the positive impact it has on people.

In these workshops we will create a safe and compassionate atmosphere where we can explore the ways in which we can create more satisfying sexual experiences while also deliberately going on a journey of self discovery that brings us into a much deeper alignment with ourselves.

We do this by first discovering our erotic blueprints and what they reveal about our personal erotic shadow. Our erotic shadow contains so much that is important for us if we want to be whole and our fantasies hold important keys to creating intentional relationship with this aspect of ourselves. I will guide you through how to become aware of your own erotic treasure map.

Once we know more about ourselves on this level, we move from an intellectual understanding, into an embodied awareness by creating play scenes based on these sexual blueprints. I go through all the tools I use to design scenes with my clients including the tools needed to create a safe container where we can access some of our most potent peak erotic turn ons.

In order to be whole, we need to embrace all of ourselves, even the forbidden parts. We need to make our sexual shadow our ally and give it safe and healthy expression.

What is our shadow?

When we are first born into the world, we are full of potential. We have the full spectrum of possibilities within us. As we are socialised into our family, our extended social networks and our society as a whole, we learn that some parts of us are acceptable and others are not. This is the process for everyone no matter how open-minded and loving our parents and loved ones may be and no matter what culture you are brought up in.

Both attributes we consider positive and negative end up in our unconscious. However they have not gone away. They are still there influencing our emotions and reactions in ways we are not aware of. It is almost like they take on a life of their own. This is the aspect of ourselves we call the shadow.

An unowned shadow, with a life of its own, can feel really scary. It seems to erupt at inconvenient times in ways that confuse and harm us and those around us.

When we were young, we cut off aspects of ourselves and seem to spend the rest of our lives trying to feel whole again. A person who can reintegrate their shadow in healthy ways feels in alignment with themselves. They are able to access a sense of wholeness and access far more of their potential. Their relationships with others come from a more mature place. More than that, they are able to use their shadow ally as a bridge to access and create a relationship with the deeper part of themselves that carries a wisdom beyond the part of us that is normally in the driver’s seat. That mysterious bigger, deeper, wider self.

FurnitureSo what has this got to do with our sexual fantasies and kink? 

Guess what! Our taboo kinky and/or sexual fantasies are a fantastic way of turning our shadow into our ally!

Sexual fantasies, just like our dreams, speak in the language of the unconscious. They are not logical, or politically correct. In both dreams and fantasies, we often act in ways we never would in everyday life. We often get to express desires that we didn’t even know we had. The langauge of the unconscious is symbolic. Dreams and sexual fantasies speak the language of symbols and reveal so much about what is going on beneath our awareness.

Furthermore, our sexual fantasies allow us to be aroused. Being aroused is an altered state of consciousness where the veils between our unconscious and conscious minds are naturally thinner. We can have a more intentional interaction with both aspects at this time.

I guide each of my client and play partners into an in-depth consultation about their particular fantasies… I peel back the layers of the fantasy to see the common themes that emerge again and again. What are the underlying motivations for arousal? What situations work for you to create the optimum interaction with your shadow? Now I am offering to guide you through this process too.

Dracula RavenBut why role plays and play scenes?

The wonderful thing about play scenes is that they allow us to interact with our fantasies on a different level than if we just had a wee secret wank while thinking about them. Play scenes are embodied ways of acting out the symbols that make sense to our unconscious minds… they are giving our shadow a place in our lives within the safe container of a clearly negotiated and consensual framework.

This has a profound effect on us. Here is what one person has to say about this work.

“Before i went on this journey with you i was aware of some of my turn ons but was afraid of them because they had led to pain in previous relationships. My turn ons were hidden from the world and everyone around me, even my partners. It was a source that i fed off with pornography and in a very unsatisfying way. I wanted to satisfy these turn on so bad but thought that I wasn’t allowed to and knew that i would never work up the courage to.

I couldn’t imagine how i could ever have a different relationship to my shadow and have it be something that i could delve into and derive deep personal satisfaction from in embodied and lived ways. Also i associated my desires with a lack of consent and violence towards women, i felt shame for that and chastised myself for my desires, I thought that i would never be able to work around that.

interfacing with my shadow has helped me to become aware of and work through very key personal issues that i always wanted to confront and explore but never knew how. I was blocked from creating a relationship with those parts of me that i knew were holding me back. I’ve been able to push through some key limitation and grow in very unexpected ways.

Also i just feel so much more sexually satisfied and I’ve felt moments of sexual power and pleasure that i never thought possible.”

This first workshop will be about exploring our erotic shadows.

We will look more closely into why taboo sexual fantasy is actually an ideal method of meeting and integrating our shadows safely. We will look into the frameworks we need to keep ourselves safe and happy while we explore the taboo. I will guide you through some (fully clothed and non sexual) exercises to help you identify your core erotic themes and decipher them as clues to your unique shadow. By the end of this workshop you will:

* Be well on your way to becoming conscious of your unique erotic wiring and how that is linked to your shadow.
* You will have access to frameworks that create safety for exploring this side of ourselves.
* You will have ways of working out your future play partner’s unique erotic fingerprints or core erotic themes.

You will not be required to share your personal taboo fantasies publically unless you choose to and can participate in activities only to the level you feel comfortable at any given time. Consent and safe containers for exploration are important to me.  If this sounds like you, then pop on over here to buy yourself a ticket

Level two:  Shadow Expressions: Learning to play with Fantasy and Kink

So you are keen to explore deeper but how do you bring this to life? You want to create erotic play scenes based on the information you now have about your erotic shadows. What now?

This workshop an immersive intensive and fully catered retreat, where I teach you the tools I use as a professional. These are skills you need to create play scenes for yourself and your play partners that are designed on your unique erotic wiring.

By the end of this workshop you will have created a scene from beginning to end including pre-play consultations and aftercare. You will have a chance to explore a version of this play scene (which doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual) in the play party evening. We will all get a chance to de-brief and learn from each other’s experiences the next day.  If this is for you, then pop on over here to purchase your ticket.

Practitioner Training:
This is something I am very excited about! Next year I will be launching professional training for those who want to incorporate this work, and more, into their professional practices. This goes into a lot more detail about the skills needed to be a practitioner of this style of work. I will share the skills and tools I use to create sessions for clients who want to use their sexuality as a form of self discovery. BDSM practitioners, Sex workers, therapists, sexological bodyworkers and those that just want to be seriously skilled in this work for their personal play, are welcome.

Please join my mailing list here to stay informed.

Jul 192016
 

 

shadow workshop fb-banner-level-one

 

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Carl Jung

Professional dominatrix and switch, Artemisia de Vine, is offering a series of workshops about owning our erotic shadows through sexual fantasy, kink and BDSM play. She says:

Again and again I am blown away by the power of kink to create wholeness and intimacy.
Is there anything so raw and beautiful as being seen and honored in your uncensored erotic expression? When engaged with awareness, this work/play is breathtaking in its scope and contains the potential for deep self discovery.

I invite you to join me in exploring the ways in which owning our erotic shadows through sexual fantasy role play, kink & BDSM can lead to an integrated and whole way of being.

It is easy to feel connection and love with ourselves and our partner/s in moments where we show each other our loving light, but only focusing on the sweetness can lead to spiritual diabetes! We are complex, multifaceted beings, and to be whole, we need to create relationships with all aspects of ourselves.

For those that choose to travel right down the rabbit hole, erotic shadow work can create opportunities to connect with the deepest levels of embodied consciousness. Some experience this as a spiritual path while others experience it as journeys into human consciousness. Almost everyone agrees it is profound.

Through these series of workshops, (more info on level 2 here: https://www.facebook.com/events/686938861446741/) I am offering to teach you the techniques I use in my professional sessions to more deeply and intentionally explore and integrate our erotic shadows through kink & BDSM.

Introducing key concepts and tools to begin integrating our darker and/or taboo sexual fantasies into our loving relationships and/or sexual play. This workshop will allow you to discover your core erotic themes that drive you to connect with others in certain patterns. Left unconscious, these core erotic themes can and often do, come out in destructive ways. When integrated, they become our allies in relationships and sexual well being. And they turn us on an awful lot!

Pricing:

Early Bird avaialble for the first 10 bookings until July 14th
$350 (full payment)

Full price $495 ($300 deposit available to secure a spot, pay remainder on the day)

Times: 6pm Friday night – 9pm, 8am Saturday till 6pm, 9am Sunday till 3.30pm

We are running an Introduction evening event on August 3rd, a stand alone event and or a opportunity to gain a clearer picture what to expect of level 1 and 2. For more info please go here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1721515164727272/

Jul 052014
 

Mistress corporate logoHello Ms de Vine,

I just wanted to reiterate how amazing it was and how much I got out of it. The fact that you listened to what I was after and then incorporated it seamlessly into an incredible session, where all the way through the session it really felt like we were in the role play scenario that had been created. I said that the what I was really into was the overlap between submission, pain and sexuality and the session certainly hit that sweet spot (as I suspect you could tell from the mind-blowing orgasm I had at the end!) while also really pushing my boundaries. I’m already thinking about our next session and where I might ask you to push my boundaries a bit further!

Below I’ve put down some more of my thoughts regarding the session. Feel free to use any or all of it (and any of this email) on your blog/website as long as you keep me totally anonymous.

Here is how Anonymous described what actually happened in session

“I made sure I turned up right on time (not early or late) for my 2 hour session with Ms De Vine. Although I was a little nervous she immediately put me at ease with her welcome and a soothing cup of tea with our pre-session chat. I had already talked to Ms De Vine regarding what I was after but the pre-chat went into much further detail and Ms De Vine really digged down into what I was after to ensure that the session was as amazing as possible. I had indicated my likes and dislikes and said to Ms De Vine that my overarching interest was a role play session where we explored the overlap between submission, pain and sexuality.

knickersAfter a quick shower I re-entered the play space (naked naturally) and, as a naughty nephew, started to examine some lingerie that my Auntie has left out. After a couple of minutes she came in and asked what the hell I was doing. Her eyes were immediately drawn to my small cock, which she left me in no doubt was inadequate. I was given two choices, be exposed as a pervert with a tiny dick or take the punishment that my auntie had devised. Naturally I chose to be punished.

Auntie immediately informed my that as I had a small clitty rather than a penis I should be dressed not as a boy but as the girl I was such and was made to put on a pair of Aunties girly panties. They didn’t stay up for very long though as Auntie put me across her knee and gave me a hard spanking. Once my bum was nice and red she led me over to the bench where I was given a further hard spanking with the paddle and strap.

Auntie then led me back to her couch and told me to stand in front of her with my hand on my heads while she tied up my cock and balls. This took some time as Auntie had some trouble due to the smallness of my penis. Auntie of course managed to succeed and then gave my clit and balls the whipping that they deserved. It stung let me tell you leading me to drop my hands a couple of times and incur a further punishment later on. As Auntie had identified my clitty was never going to satisfy a women she generously offered to instruct me in the worship and pleasure of a women using my tongue. I tried my best, but naturally I was not up to the task and so Auntie punished my balls (hard)  further on several occasions with her foot (ball busting). Eventually she told me to stop my inadequate efforts and told me it was time for further punishment.

Mistress high heelsAfter some further cock and ball torture, Auntie told me to lie down on the bench and start playing with my clitty. The fact I only needed to use two fingers to pleasure myself caused Auntie a lot of amusement. Just as I was starting to feel good Auntie started to cane my penis, drawing me close to orgasm several times before bringing the cane down on my cock.

Eventually she took mercy on me and said I could orgasm as long as I begged enough for it. I begged hard let me tell you! Begging Auntie to keep rubbing my little clitty until I could cum. At one point she stopped right on the edge and I thought she was going to stop but after some further begging she kindly allowed me to cum (and have a mind-blowing orgasm). After disgustingly wiping away the cum she told me if she caught me playing with her underwear again the punishment would be twice as bad.

Overall this was a mind-blowing session. Ms De Vine really created a role play environment that I believed I was in all the way throughout. She listened to what I was after and incorporated it into the session (especially the overlap between submission, pain and sexuality) while pushing my boundaries in several areas (beyond even what I had thought possible) and because we had a good understanding of where our interests overlapped I really felt that Ms De Vine was as into the session as I was. In addition she took the time after the session was over to ensure I was ready to re-nter the real world! I will be booking another session soon!”

Jun 052014
 

dominatrix strap on 1Anal play and, in particular, pegging, is such a popular session!  After all it is one of the best ways to access the male G spot.  Who would want to miss out on that?

Over the years working as a professional dominatrix I’ve become experienced in anal play on men from finger to fist and everything in between.  There are many ways in which to approach anal play.  However, it is not just the toys we use or which anal techniques we’ve learnt but also the attitude with which we approach a play scene that makes the experience full of fireworks.

CDR457840 digital rectal examEach of us has unique erotic wiring, so it is important to go about pegging in a way that taps into your core erotic themes.  It’s no good being all sensual if you are turned on by the idea of being ravished and taken by a dominant woman… Likewise, it is no good being ordered into a degrading position if you are the type who needs seductive coaxing…  Is being pegged a reward or punishment for you?  A sensual connection or a degrading sex act?   Is it a power game or  the expression of equal lovers?  One person’s turn on is another’s trauma so it is an important part of the consent process to discuss this before you play.

To help you ask for what it is you really crave, I have put together some of the more popular scenarios that get my boys excited to bend over for me.  It’s far from an exhaustive list but covers some of the main fantasy  and play styles.  Which one are you?  Are you a combination of several of these?  What key themes do you  need in order for pegging to work for you?

beginner strap onAdded Spice with all Things Nice:

Key themes: Added Sensation, experimentation, Curiosity

This style is for those who are new to exploring anal play and pegging.   This type of player usually does not want to make pegging the entire focus of the session but treat it like an added spice to their main meal to give it a bit of kick.  These types tend to be more sexual rather than BDSM-focused.

Works well with:  Single digit Prostate massage, small training dildo or vibrator, sex

tantra dildoSensual Surrender:

Key Themes: Intimacy, Connection, Sensuality, Opening, Surrender, Ecstasy, Erotic Trance

Not everyone who likes to receive the attentions of my strap on is into being dominated or degraded.  (For those that do like it dirty or all about power and control, scroll on down. Your type is here too).  Anal play can be a deeply sensual, profoundly receptive experience.  To have someone enter your body with fingers or toys is to surrender and open in a way that is hard to describe.  People into this style of pegging often respond well to a full body sensual seduction first to help drop them down into a floaty aroused state.  An extended external anal massage and teasing session helps relax and arouse… preparing the body for penetration.

When its time to begin, we start gently with a single finger, loosening the anal sphincter muscles.  Pegging is never forced.  We wait until the anus invites my dildo in.  We synch rhythms through music and by tuning into what their body is ready for.   Staying deeply relaxed can make way for male G spot orgasms.  For sensual peggers, it’s about taking the time to truly sink into and open to the experience.   There are two main sub categories amongst the Sensual Surrender Types.

intimacy strap on sex2Sensual Intimacy Types:  It is important to note that some of the Sensual Surrender types will be seeking intimacy and connection while others are going into a sort of erotic trance inside themselves.   Those that seek intimacy usually seek eye contact and often enjoy being placed on their back with their legs in the air and being “made love to”.    Supportive leg harnesses and slings can help them relax their legs and therefore anal sphincters while holding this position.

My lovers bottomSensual Erotic Trance Types: are those who like to close their eyes and become completely overwhelmed by the sensations.  They go somewhere inside themselves. For trance types the play style is about facilitating surrender much like a massage therapist.  This kind of experience is about being embodied  and it helps if they feel held and supported so they can let go and submerge themselves in the experience.   This allows the trust needed for them to drop down deep.  It can be quite distracting to try to use intimacy or fantasy when they are in this state.  It can snap them right out of the embodied erotic bliss.   It always pays to negotiate what your intention is for the play session so you are not pulling in different directions.

Works well with: a full body massage, sensation play, feathers, silk scarves, blindfolds, essential oils, tantric breathing and trance techniques, sex slings, supportive foot/leg harnesses.

dominatrix strap on 2Dominatrix Dick:

Key themes: Domination, Control, Fear, Intimidation, Submission, Sadism, Masochism

For some pegging is about being dominated.  The thought of a woman with an intimidating strap-on standing over them, ordering them to bend over and spread their butt cheeks gets them immediately hard…  Or teetering on subspace…  For some this style of play is about being sexually turned on and for others it is purely an act of submission.  It’s very important to communicate which of these you are.  The more information you give your Domme about how you are wired, the more fun she can have manipulating you in ways that suit her…  And this type of session is all about what She wants…

These types often respond well to waiting on their hands and knees, ready to obey their Domme’s every word.    The scene here is about having their boundaries pushed and offering up their vulnerable asshole to please their Mistress.  She makes them take more than they thought possible.  Being a little (or a lot!) afraid of what she will do next is big part of it.  Anal play may be seen as a punishment or a reward in these play scenes. Those into Dominatrix Dick often respond well to being called “slave”. Use safe words in this role play to stop the scene if necessary.

Works well with: Bondage, Punishment, Intense Sensation Play, Fisting, Footing, Butt plugs, Enemas, Prostate milking, Figging, Electric Play, Proctoscopes, Anal hooks.

strap on big blackRavished  Rear End:

Key Themes:  Being Desired,  Taken, Overpowered

For some pegging is about being ravished and taken.  It feels good to be the object of desire and see the urgent need in your lover’s eyes.  It can feel great to be the one being “done to” rather than the one “doing” for a change.  While in real life, no one wants to be raped, it is a very popular role play fantasy to be “forced” to receive the very pleasure we secretly want.   This can take the form of being “forced”  to be penetrated with primal lust.  Perhaps they are made helpless with bondage or perhaps mind games allowing  that psychologically dominate  them to allow themselves to be used for someone else’s animalistic pleasure.

It is important to consent to this in a clear discussion beforehand and to utilise safe words should you need to stop the scene.  A safe word is a word used to stop all activity and check in to see what is wrong.  Safe words are vital in this situation because the person being ravished may want to role play protesting by saying “No, please don’t do it to me!”  and “But you are so big! I’m so scared”  or various other forms of protests.  If you have a safe word,  the ravishing can proceed with the creative gusto and all involved can sink right into the role play without fear they are actually causing harm.

Works well with: Restraint, Mixture of Rough and Sensual play, Erotic Play, Head fucking.

strap on harness 6Reluctantly Naughty:

Key Themes: Naughtiness, Dirtiness, Seduction, Forbidden Fruit, Manipulation, Submission, Coaxing, Nurturing, Control

These players enjoy the fact that anal play is still considered taboo and dirty.  They enjoy the feeling of  “wrongness”  and of  being coaxed and seduced into doing something wicked.   Some like to protest and play innocent but have someone else tease and coax them into giving up their vulnerable hole to be penetrated.   It is a form of submission and control through a mixture of authority and seduction.  Again safe words are a very good idea so you know when the reluctance is play acting and when it is real.

Works well with: Role Play, Age play, Teacher/school student, Boss/employee, Baby sitter/teenaged boy, Hot neighbor caught you peeping through her window and has decided to have her way with you or she’ll dob you in… You get the idea…

squirting strap onSlutty Toy :

Key Themes: Degradation, Being Used, Humiliation, Objectification, Domination and Submission

This style is for those who are turned on by feeling erotically used and degraded.   Picture all the stereotypes of the slut or the whore being used for another’s pleasure.  Of course I am far too sex-positive to really believe those stereotypes but it can be hot to tap into that archetype in role play.   Slutty toys often like being on their hands and knees being trained to deep throat and having their holes stretched by dildo after dildo in by ever increasing size.  These types can enjoy being trained to take whatever Mistress pleases in whatever way she likes.  Some times this can include either fantasising about or actually getting extra people of various genders to join in the fun.

Works well with:  Gang Bangs, Slut training, Exhibitionism, Forced Bi scenarios, Glory Holes, Butt plugs, Spit Roasting

sissy slut strap onThe Sissy Slut

Key Themes: Gender fucking, Being Desired, Feminine, Submissive, Degradation, Feeling Exposed, Vulnerability, Used, Objectification

This is for those who enjoy playing with gender.  It is very common to draw on traditional (and out-dated) ideas about what makes someone masculine and feminine  and swap them around.  Again, I do not believe these stereotypes are how we really are but they are nontheless super hot to mess around with in role play.

Sissy sluts revel in the opportunity to let all their suppressed “feminine” attributes to come out.  Cross dressing is a big part of this one.   “He” becomes “she” and our sissy glories in being a degraded and used sex object in frilly knickers, fishnet stockings and smeared red lipstick.  She can be re-named something like “Fee Fee” or “Trixie Belle” and taught to parade around seductively in high heels and a wig.

Being feminine is equated with being a submissive, objectified, sexually used, slutty, whore being made to get in various humiliating positions and perform sexual services for their Mistress’ entertainment.  In this version of the game our sissy slut’s cock becomes a “clitty” and her asshole becomes her “pussy”.

This can sometimes include a third person (either male or trans) to train the Sissy in real-life forced-bi scenarios.  The sissy may not actually be attracted to men at all but is turned on by being forced to perform the slutty acts in order to please Mistress.  Oral sex, deep throating, being anally penetrated.  In this instance the Mistress’ pegging may be preparation… A training tool so that the sissy can take cock.

Works well with: Role Play, cross dressing, sissy slut training program, forced bi scenarios, golden showers, squirting dildos, begging, gang bangs, glory holes, forced masturbation, edging and so much more.

sweet strap onSweet Gender Bender:

Key Themes: Desired, Femininity, Innocence, Sensuality, Playful Connection, Receptive, Sexual Awakening

Like the sissy slut, this scenario is about a man taking on a feminine archetype  through cross dressing and play acting traditional feminine roles.  However this is not a sexually degrading version of femininity but an innocent version.  Cross dressing in this instance reflects this girlish innocence in whites and pinks, ribbons and frills.

Sweet Gender Bender types often respond well to a “girls night in” role play where they hang out with their strap-on wearing girlfriend.   They play around together getting dressed up, doing each other’s hair and make up, drinking champagne, dancing to music and talking about boys.  It turns into a lesbian encounter where the innocent crossdressing girl is seduced by her girlfriend.

Again our gender bender’s penis becomes her “clitty” and her asshole becomes her “pussy”.  She enjoys the process of being spoken to in all the feminine terms; “Put your sweet little hands on my cock and give it a massage…” and “Let me see your cute little panties, do they match your bra?”  “You look so pretty tonight, that lipstick suits you…”  There is a lot of flouncing in this sort of pegging scene.  Penetration is usually on her back with her legs spread.

Works well with Role Play:  Kissing, Cross dressing, Sexy Dancing, Exhibitionism,  Erotic Teasing, Sensuality, Fashion Parade and Photoshoot

There are of course more styles than this.  We are complex creatures so you may or may not fit neatly into any of these categories.  However, this is an excellent starting point to work out what style of pegging is for you.

Artemisia de Vine

Extended Anal Training Program:
While a single play session is of course possible and pleasurable, for anal enthusiasts and those keen to explore deeper, I am offering an Extended Anal Training Package.

Anal sphincters become more flexible with training just like doing yoga makes our bodies more flexible.  It really helps to have an experienced anal expert guide you through an anal training program to discover all the nuances possible.  G spots aren’t always the obvious turn on of the cock or clitoris.  Male G spot can be  illusive, just like the female G spot.    It takes time, practice and patience to discover  just what kinds of  pleasure are possible through anal play but as many anal enthusiastc can attest, once you have accessed this kind of pleasure  it can be full body bliss.

I approach anal training as far more than just phsyically training your hole.  It is a mind, body and sometimes heart and soul journey of self discovery.  It is very much about the places we go inside ourselves during play as well as the physcial acts themselves. You can learn to use erotic embodiment practices to drop deeper into your bodies.  This enhances subspace and/or erotic states of consciousness taking play to the next level.  For those keen to see just what is possible I offer the opportunity to be guided down the anal rabbit hole.

Each package takes into account what style of anal player you are… For those into sensual anal play, the program will have a sensual focus.   For slaves types, you will be put through a vigorous anal training process under Mistress’s eagle eye and strict regime.  It is a journey into submission as much as discovering the joys of your ass.  For sissy sluts, there is a slut training regime… You get the picture…

Each Package includes:

  • Four x 2hr in-person play and training sessions
  • Journal keeping
  • Homework tasks that include training, play and education
  • Reporting back at set times
  • Integration processes

Read more about this program, the author, Sydney-based Mistress Artemisia de Vine, and other kink style sessions available here.   Contact her here.

Please note that this blog entry and all other writing on my website is copyright and cannot be reproduced without my express written permission.

 

 

Nov 152013
 

venus 3If you are intrigued by working out your core erotic themes to enhance play and become more conscious of your motivations and unique erotic wiring, then I encourage you to fill out this survey.

I recommend filling in this survey before a session with me to assist you in working out exactly what kind of play is best for you.  In addition you will be helping further some really fabulous research into Conscious Kink.

Colleague and fellow Conscious Kink enthusiast, Galen Fous has created this Personal Myth Survey as part of his research.

The PEM Survey was part of my academic research in grad school at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, where I specialized in the study of the empowering and healing aspects of sexual authenticity in the form of Fetishsexuality. The survey is designed to help people gain deeper insight into the darker, taboo edges of their Erotic desires, that lurk below the surface, and bring these often secret and feared desires into the light to examine, consider and embrace in a healthy conscious manner.