Apr 242018
 

There is an epidemic of men tired of always taking the lead in the bedroom.  I see it again and again when they come to me… the relief of having someone else guide the dance so they can finally let go and free fall into arousal. 

I am an expert in domination, but domination is not always in its more extreme forms.  Sometimes it is subtle, sensual, enticing… and yes sometimes it is nurturing… other times it is delightfully dirty and degrading. Either way, it is a chance to feel what it is like to let go and surrender to sensation and erotic beingness. 

My heart goes out to those who have been socialised to believe men are only allowed to be in “doing” mode.  They have been robbed of the exquisite pleasure of just being…. or opening to all that is within them… primal… held… witnessed… taken… ravished… overwhelmed with all it is that they secretly yearn for…

Regardless of gender, we humans are capable of accessing a variety of erotic states of consciousness.  There are some exquisite places within that simply cannot be accessed without surrender. Imagine missing out on this because of masculinity stereotypes!

I am pleased to say that things are changing and more and more men are casting off the shackles of expectations and discovering who they are sexually when allowed to just be themselves and explore.

Each person is uniquely wired, so my challenge is to discover their erotic map to trigger this state of being in them.  I can’t always find it straight away but I do have a very good track record of finding it more often than not.  I relish the challenge and I am pretty damn good at it.

Anal Play

I find the one of the first places men learn to explore this side of themselves is often through anal play.  Their butt, not mine. 

Not only is the anus full of rich nerve endings, but it contains the male equivalent of the G spot.  The Pspot (prostate) is as fickle and hard to seduce as a woman’s Gspot but similarly, once you find it blows your erotic world right open. 

The spot itself is easy to locate.  What is challenging is getting it to respond pleasurably.  Pounding that baby like it is some sort of magic turn on button, doesn’t feel good at all.  The P spot literally needs to be seduced… it needs foreplay… it needs to be coaxed into arousal gently and patiently.  One needs to be in a relaxed but aroused place or the nerve endings do not switch on for pleasure. 

Because of this, I have noticed a distinct pattern of men who enjoy anal play on themselves being much better lovers to the women in their lives.  There is nothing quite like embodied experience to help men “get it” and become better at guiding others into that place of erotic surrender.

From single finger massage to pegging to extreme fisting, anal play is an art form.  I guide men into using their breath and other techniques to open deeply… physically and mentally… There is something so intimate about being inside someone… penetrating them…  Whether we agree to play dirty domination or sensually opening anal games, I can feel that intense feedback loop between us.  It can be one of the most magical moments between strangers. 

So whether, your preference is a full body sensual massage or to be strung up in my leather sling or bent over and restrained to my bondage bench, I invite you to feel safe to explore erotic surrender through anal eroticism with me.  

To help you work out your pegging style, I have blogged about some of the different flavours here.
Other forms of erotic surrender include: 

Erotic Massage with Anal Play & Edging:  See why these sessions are so famous here. 

 

 

Tie & Tease: Be restrained and edged… Brought to the brink but denied satisfaction until I decide to allow you the release of orgasm… Wave after wave of pleasurable torture…
Can include anal play but certainly includes edging.  (Keep an eye out for a blog I am currently writing on edging)
 

 

Role Play:  Perhaps you are wired to enjoy being “blackmailed” into bending over the desk and being pegged by your female boss… or an employee who has something on you and is enjoying making the thrill of making you her play thing? Perhaps you fantasise about being anally seduced by your step mother?  Your teacher?  Your dominant girlfriend?  

Both tie and tease and role play sessions can sometimes feel right to me to be full service based.  This is negotiated on a case by case scenario and my higher rate, starting from $450 an hour applies.

Mistress style play sessions are much more BDSM focused with an emphasis on Domination and submission. My power and your surrender, in this framework, is not role play but a genuine, consented to dynamic.  These are NEVER full service sessions.  Mistress rates and play structure, including in-depth pre-play consultation, applies.

The point is, whatever your unique erotic map, there will be a way to tap into it and find your place of erotic surrender.  My expertise is to help you find it and create an opportunity to explore it… play with it… and get off on it…

For kink sessions see devinekink.com
For Erotic Massage sessions see my sensual site

Jan 262017
 

Domina Artemisia de Vine slave CK

 

Do you know how good it is to be praised for what most of society tells me is wrong? A part of me I’ve tried to squeeze into conformity in order to be lovable?

I unfurl that part of me when I am Mistress in The deVinery. I am a caged bird, set free… soaring in the skies…

Do you know how good it is to be appreciated instead of shunned when I unleash like that?

This week’s good medicine:

“There is just no doubt at all that you are genuinely dominant. I normally struggle to submit because the dominants I’ve played with feel more like they are playing a role. The part of me that needs to submit just doesn’t believe it. With you though, there is just no doubt whatsoever. You don’t even have to try. You just are dominant. Sipping tea and laughing, you still radiate dominance. It’s glorious.”

And…

“I come back to submit to you because it is so rare to meet a woman so thoroughly in her power. You just are dominant. It’s intoxicating just to be around it.”

My submissives, pets, slaves and kinky adventurers often have transformative experiences by exploring themselves with me. However it does work both ways. They heal me too.

I appreciate their submission so very much.  It enables me to be who I am without censor.

Spanking switch circle

Spanking switch circle

“But hang on…. aren’t you a switch?”  

Yes, yes I am.  I am a dominant personality.  I just am the leader in most of my personal primary relationships.  I am naturally dominant in my every day beingness.

I also love being a Mistress.  It feels right.

I also very much enjoy switching, under the right circumstances, with the right people.  Professionally this is usually through role play scenes and domestic-style discipline.  

I adore receiving a well administered spanking and caning session.  To me this feels like the gift akin to receiving a massage.  It’s so good!  I can float for hours on the bliss of it!  I’ve even thought of training a service sub to spank me just the way I like it.  However, receiving from a confident dominant is also a delicious gift because the more they can take control, the further I let go.   Like jumping from a ledge, knowing someone will catch you.

artemisia-visits-brightonI also genuinely enjoy exploring power exchange role plays on a professional level.  Being “blackmailed” by my boss into pulling down my knickers, bending over the desk and receiving a thorough spanking/caning for losing an important account.  Love it!   Such a fun game!  But that is just it… it is a fun role-play game.  I can and do go quite far into a submissive role with it and get a lot out of it but it is a different thing to being a submissive personality.

There are limits to how far as I go into submission on a professional level because to really enter into the blissfulness of full surrender, I need established trust with a special person.  I have worked very hard to make sure I am trustworthy as a professional dominant so that my ongoing slaves, subs, pets etc can submit to me for real.  However, not many clients have the skill level to be able to do that back for me.

I do explore submission far deeper in my personal life when I get the chance.  I naturally desire to enter into all the beautiful spaces that submission can take me… the self discovery… subspace… the ego dissolution experience… awakening of the secret core of me that can only happen when ego gets out of the driver’s seat… I think my intimate experience in this area makes me a better Mistress.  It certainly gives me a much deeper embodied empathy for what my subs are going through which means I can guide and protect them better even as I push them into more and more challenging places…

Switching is so valuable and I recommend everyone try it even if it doesn’t appear to be your natural inclination.  In fact I plan on writing a blog about the spirituality of switching very soon.

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine, Dominatrix, BDSM

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine, Dominatrix, BDSM

However, I am not a submissive personality.

In my personal relationships I tend to be Queen in everyday life and I am drawn to partners that want to be my gallant knight, or general of my army.  We have an open and warm respect for each other’s opinions and needs but I tend to lead more often than not.  What is normally expected in a standard patriarchal relationship but in reverse.  Matriarchy.  I frequently date younger men.

Within negotiated scenes, they rule and I genuinely submit.   Wholeheartedly surrender and open.  We often switch in the bedroom.  It becomes a clearly negotiated power exchange where everyone is happy and everyone gets a turn exploring all aspects of themselves.

However I am still a dominant personality.  This is never going to change.  It just is. I didn’t have to overcome anything to be this way, I just am this way.  Most men find me undate-able because this threatens them too much. Ridiculous, yet deeply ingrained, patriarchal notions that make them equate allowing a woman to be the head of the household with making them weak.  That to be like a woman is weak.  Talk about misogyny!  If you think taking the role you expect women to take is inherently degrading, then there is a problem.  Take a closer look at that.

I receive the message that I am unlovable because I am dominant, over and over and over.  My male submissives receive the message they are unlovable over and over and over again.  So when my submissives show such appreciation for my dominant side, I purr and appreciate the hell out of them right back.   Bring it on.

Sydney Domina Artemisia de Vine

Sydney Domina Artemisia de Vine

See my website for other blogs or to apply for one-on-one sessions

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Dec 132016
 

artemisia-de-vine-prAs part of the sexological bodyworkers collective, I am presenting a workshop on Embodying Sexual Fantasy in the Educational Erotica weekend held in Sydney this coming February 18-19.

Twelve of Australia’s leading sex educators are gathering for a unique weekend of the most practical, interesting and concept shifting sex ed on offer – artfully facilitated with heart, humour, wisdom and fun.

Presenters and Weekend schedule Here 

Tickets Here:  Early bird is available until Dec 20 if you are looking to buy a Christmas gift for a loved one that will bring you closer together.

Embodying Sexual Fantasy Workshop with Artemisia de Vine

This workshop takes a closer look at the role of sexual fantasy and asks the questions, what happens when we create an intentional relationship with our fantasy selves?  What happens when we hear the inner voice that is speaking to us through our fantasies?

This is a chance to explore how things shift when we move our sexual fantasies from the head, into the body through consensual, embodied play scenes, based on the recurring emotional themes that emerge.

From enjoying imagining certain body parts, to imagining what it would be like to have sex with a certain person right through to elaborate, sometimes taboo, storylines, most people engage with sexual fantasy. Sometimes these fantasies can seem to go against the grain of our own moral compass bringing about inner conflict and confusion.

With a playful, compassionate, curiosity, I will guide us into peeking under the hood of our sexual fantasies. It is a good beginning for those interested in exploring the hidden corners of our sexual psyche and turning our fantasies into our allies.

Note: Even though I am a professional dominatrix, this is a workshop on sexual fantasy, not on BDSM/kink as such. BDSM themes may come up but equally so may sexual fantasies of any kind. Clothes remain on in this workshop and while we do have a chance to engage in embodied learning, we will not be engaging in sexual activities. You are invited to participate only at the level you choose to at any given time.

Sydney Mistress Artemisia de Vine BDSM CKBio: Artemisia de Vine is a Sydney-based, professional Dominatrix and switch who specialises in BDSM with awareness. Her expertise extends beyond BDSM as she is a devoted student of the erotic arts from the sensual to kinky edge play.

She is passionate about tuning into the unique erotic wiring of each individual she plays with to create imaginative scenes relevant to their personal journey.

She loves to explore the erotic psyche in relation to the Mysteries of Existence and engages play styles that asks just what fabulous madness is possible when we peak under the covers of civilised behaviour and nudge our boundaries.

She accesses all the aspects of human nature normally forbidden to us in everyday life, like humiliation, shame, fear, cruelty and power but does so from a place of compassion, consciousness and intension for the holistic well-being of all involved.

She is at heart, interested in exploring the ways in which owning our suppressed side can make us whole and how creating an intentional relationship with sexual fantasies can lead us home to ourselves.

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