Begin by settling in your body and adopting a compassionate, curiosity about your own inner workings. Take three deep belly breaths and let the air all the way out like you are releasing all the stress of the day.
Take the time to settle into your body with a body scan. Simply rest your attention on your body and notice what is happening there. Notice any physical tensions, sensations, resistances and openness. Let this manifest however it needs to. If anything seems to want or need your attention, simply rest your attention on that spot in your body. Take slow deep breaths and allow it the time to communicate with you. Take notice of any images, emotions or physical sensations that come up.
Form a clear intention for this practice and say it out loud, or clearly in your head. Some examples of an intention are:
“I allow my sexual fantasies to surface as they need to with a compassionate curiosity.”
“I allow myself to feel turned on by my taboo fantasies.”
“My intention is to explore the paradox of love and power while aroused.”
“My intention is to explore being aroused by ……………. (fill in the blank with the emotion or attitude appropriate to you, i.e. degradation, control, shame, fear, longing, abandonment, love, being desired, submission, domination, intimacy).
Enjoy a great masturbation session where you allow these fantasies to come out and play.
When you are finished, answer the below questions in your diary. You can use paper diary or record your voice, whatever works for you. However, this step is really important as your insights will dissipate like a fog in the sun if you do not ground them into your consciousness directly after your fantasy play.
One of the best ways of grounding is to write down your fantasy stream-of-consciousness style, without judgement or censorship. That is, begin writing and simply do not stop or let the pen pause. It doesn’t matter if you make spelling mistakes or write nonsense. Just keep writing non stop until it is all out. You will be surprised what detail comes out when you don’t over think it and just write without judgement!
After writing out your fantasy answer the following questions:
What storyline did you tap into?
What activities took place?
what physical sensations, emotions or images did you notice come up?
What character/s, if any, appeared in the fantasy?
What attitude and/or emotion did they have towards you?
What attitude and/or emotion did you have towards them?
What made the fantasy hot for you?